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Post Reply I need more people to talk to
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Posted 9/17/17 , edited 9/18/17
I read your guestbook umm, I'm going to pass
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/17/17 , edited 9/18/17

May201m wrote:

I read your guestbook umm, I'm going to pass


fair enough
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/17/17 , edited 9/18/17


\o/ not generally a bad thing but fair enough.
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Posted 9/17/17 , edited 9/18/17

Ryulightorb wrote:



\o/ not generally a bad thing but fair enough.


Most people tend to have little to no patience for the type of bullshit needy people tend to do.

Not applying that to you as I do not know you. But in general once people have had negative experiences with needy folk they tend to avoid them like the plague.

Even if you are needy if you can keep from overtly explicit actions that demonstrate that very thing you will find that people will generally hang around more (as well as longer) and due to that you may grow on them to the point where your other qualities outweigh the neediness.

Honestly demonstrating neediness at the beginning of a relationship (friendship or otherwise) raises red flags for people.

It raises such questions such as ...

Why is he so needy? Why isn't he happy unless other people are around to elevate his mood? Why does he need constant validation and acceptance in order to feel happy? What behaviors or interactions of mine will this person depend upon if continue this relationship with him? How much of a burden is this persons happiness and well being going to place upon myself? How do the benefits of his personality outweigh the burden of his neediness?

Neediness a problem only when person oversteps their boundaries.
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Posted 9/17/17 , edited 9/18/17

Thug_Apple wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:



\o/ not generally a bad thing but fair enough.


Most people tend to have little to no patience for the type of bullshit needy people tend to do.

Not applying that to you as I do not know you. But in general once people have had negative experiences with needy folk they tend to avoid them like the plague.

Even if you are needy if you can keep from overtly explicit actions that demonstrate that very thing you will find that people will generally hang around more (as well as longer) and due to that you may grow on them to the point where your other qualities outweigh the neediness.

Honestly demonstrating neediness at the beginning of a relationship (friendship or otherwise) raises red flags for people.

It raises such questions such as ...

Why is he so needy? Why isn't he happy unless other people are around to elevate his mood? Why does he need constant validation and acceptance in order to feel happy? What behaviors or interactions of mine will this person depend upon if continue this relationship with him? How much of a burden is this persons happiness and well being going to place upon myself? How do the benefits of his personality outweigh the burden of his neediness?

Neediness a problem only when person oversteps their boundaries.



That's sad to not have the patience for others.
I'm needy in the sense i need socialisation but i like to tone it down and spread that need across as many people as possible as i HATE to be an annoyance.

Those questions are fair but it forgets that some people are just needy in their nature as you said it's only a problem with people overstep which is something terrible to do and why if you are needy you need to be mindful imo.
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Posted 9/18/17 , edited 9/18/17
LOL! Just stalk ppl for a couple of day and their convos and you might see if it's a worthy person to keep a decent chat. Although suppose it'd depend on what kind of person you're. A person who replies long messages and receive as reply something like " Yeah lol! Haha!" Or if you're the one who replies that way.
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Posted 9/19/17 , edited 9/20/17



Ryulightorb wrote: does it matter? we don't need that socialization... when i goto college i don't go to talk with people i go to learn if people want to speak to me then fuck them i'm busy. I hate interacting with people as socialization is tiring since you need to play a guessing game with peoples body language and they get pissed off if you misread it that and its tiring in general. The only socialization i will happily do is by text otherwise if i don't know you well i don't want to talk to you. I wish i could have to go without talking to people face to face for a year or more that would be bliss <3 I hate talking face to face and never will like it most of the time socialization is a waste of time and only something people do because they are more social animals then some of us are (introverts and Autistic people we don't need much socialization and can get the same effect via text)

I like how it is now


Have you ever thought that the reason you are so needy especially towards online individuals is because you purposefully refuse to socialize in person in order to meet your social needs.

You literally ostracized yourself then try and compensate by having a million and one "friends" online.


Online interactions will never be a substitute for face to face socialization.
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Posted 9/19/17 , edited 9/20/17

Thug_Apple wrote:




Ryulightorb wrote: does it matter? we don't need that socialization... when i goto college i don't go to talk with people i go to learn if people want to speak to me then fuck them i'm busy. I hate interacting with people as socialization is tiring since you need to play a guessing game with peoples body language and they get pissed off if you misread it that and its tiring in general. The only socialization i will happily do is by text otherwise if i don't know you well i don't want to talk to you. I wish i could have to go without talking to people face to face for a year or more that would be bliss <3 I hate talking face to face and never will like it most of the time socialization is a waste of time and only something people do because they are more social animals then some of us are (introverts and Autistic people we don't need much socialization and can get the same effect via text)

I like how it is now


Have you ever thought that the reason you are so needy especially towards online individuals is because you purposefully refuse to socialize in person in order to meet your social needs.

You literally ostracized yourself then try and compensate by having a million and one "friends" online.


Online interactions will never be a substitute for face to face socialization.


That was a long time ago when i wrote that i'm a completely different person now.
:') i remember those sad days when i was depressed.


Anyhow i socialise in real life i rarely get the chance though because i live in a town known for drug users and bogans which makes socialisation next to impossible unless you get a normal person.

I also still do prefer talking to people online as i get nothing more from face to face socialisation then i do online it's still nice though.
But yeah that was the old me i enjoy talking to people face to face as well now as long as the person isn't a bogan or a druggie which is rare to find in a small country town.

Especially one rife with unemployment and the one of the top drug producing town in the whole country and top in the state.
Try living in a town like that and one with nobody with similar interests which more or less makes socialising impossible i'll tell you what it is.
Hell

Mix that up with the problems of real life interaction it requires body language something i cannot read.
People tend to at least here get mad when you misunderstand them because they rely too heavily on body language.
It becomes one big event of stress it's worth trying but it usually ends up badly due to how irrational people tend to be in person in my experience with people.
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Posted 9/19/17 , edited 9/20/17
I'm the kind of person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt so don't be shy to hmu~ plus, sometimes I feel I'm boring but really that's just my anxiety talking so honestly, I kinda get it.

But I will gladly offer my friendship to you ^_^ so please, feel free to message me !!

(and to anyone who might be reading this)
Posted 9/19/17 , edited 9/20/17

cleu- wrote:

I'm the kind of person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt so don't be shy to hmu~ plus, sometimes I feel I'm boring but really that's just my anxiety talking so honestly, I kinda get it.

But I will gladly offer my friendship to you ^_^ so please, feel free to message me !!

(and to anyone who might be reading this)


I don't know how to read
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Posted 9/19/17 , edited 9/20/17

Zenpie wrote:


cleu- wrote:

I'm the kind of person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt so don't be shy to hmu~ plus, sometimes I feel I'm boring but really that's just my anxiety talking so honestly, I kinda get it.

But I will gladly offer my friendship to you ^_^ so please, feel free to message me !!

(and to anyone who might be reading this)


I don't know how to read


Man.. I feel so bad for you ): I really hope you fix that and learn soon. I believe in you !!

(hoping you totally get my complete sarcasm)

(now realizing I'm probably an idiot for saying that but leaving it in anyways )
Posted 9/20/17 , edited 9/20/17
If that's the case, then obviously you need to purge your friends list. Whether its because of 200+ inactives or you just add for the increasing number. Either that or go outside and find someone to talk to, or just add more random people from cr. An alternative to this would be just making your life more busy, with hobbies, work, school; whatever it takes to keep you occupied.
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Posted 9/21/17 , edited 9/21/17

EternalVerity wrote:

If that's the case, then obviously you need to purge your friends list. Whether its because of 200+ inactives or you just add for the increasing number. Either that or go outside and find someone to talk to, or just add more random people from cr. An alternative to this would be just making your life more busy, with hobbies, work, school; whatever it takes to keep you occupied.


Purge is long overdue just haven't gotten around to it also i live in a town of bogans and druggies and generally rude people, our town is well known as a shit tip by people outside of our town because of the attitudes of people here conversing with people irl in my town is not really a good idea i have tried many times but it always ends with someone being an ass because you said hello.

I already spent 90% of my time on hobbies and studying but adding more random people is a good idea and i have done that to an extent.
Speaking of which i need to plan for my friends list purge it will take a while i was waiting for crunchyroll to add a "friend last logged in on "date"" feature but i doubt its coming!
Posted 9/21/17 , edited 9/21/17

Ryulightorb wrote:

Speaking of which i need to plan for my friends list purge it will take a while i was waiting for crunchyroll to add a "friend last logged in on "date"" feature but i doubt its coming!


I don't really see a point in a last login date thing to clean out friends lists.
I go on
1. When the person last talk to me? Was the message Hi I'm bored or something interesting.
2. Do I see myself talking to them?
3. Why did I add them?
4. Have they hinted they want me gone?

If you are unsure then bookmark their profile or whatever.

If you add people and then sit and wait for them to talk to you generally you are only wasting your and theirs time.

Provided you aren't like spamming junk at them eg Hi how are you today what ya doing? In 3 separate messages all within 5 seconds

If it's Hey did you watch the latest episode of X? Or I see you watched X what did you think about it I really liked the cat in the banana blah blah so on.
If there is some sort of substance people don't mind being messaged. They only get annoyed when it's clear you are only messaging them because you are bored.
Don't send people text messages if it's a normal people sleeping time. But anything else they will reply whenever they can.

If you are really scared of messaging people then I would try following people on twitter. Due to the 140 character limit people are straight to the point and it's a lot easier to message replies too people.
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Posted 9/21/17 , edited 9/21/17

penguincat wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Speaking of which i need to plan for my friends list purge it will take a while i was waiting for crunchyroll to add a "friend last logged in on "date"" feature but i doubt its coming!


I don't really see a point in a last login date thing to clean out friends lists.
I go on
1. When the person last talk to me? Was the message Hi I'm bored or something interesting.
2. Do I see myself talking to them?
3. Why did I add them?
4. Have they hinted they want me gone?

If you are unsure then bookmark their profile or whatever.

If you add people and then sit and wait for them to talk to you generally you are only wasting your and theirs time.

Provided you aren't like spamming junk at them eg Hi how are you today what ya doing? In 3 separate messages all within 5 seconds

If it's Hey did you watch the latest episode of X? Or I see you watched X what did you think about it I really liked the cat in the banana blah blah so on.
If there is some sort of substance people don't mind being messaged. They only get annoyed when it's clear you are only messaging them because you are bored.
Don't send people text messages if it's a normal people sleeping time. But anything else they will reply whenever they can.

If you are really scared of messaging people then I would try following people on twitter. Due to the 140 character limit people are straight to the point and it's a lot easier to message replies too people.



Most other sites have it so i personally prefer it then checking it all manually.
Also will try that thanks!
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