Post Reply The One Who Speaks Prologue and Ch 1
341 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
29 / F / Here and there
Posted 2/16/08
The One Who Speaks
Rough Draft


"Run Yecoshica! Get away! Find a safe place, I’ll hold them off and meet up with you later! Now GO!!!” Nichi yelled over his shoulder as he prepared to face the oncoming mob.

Yecoshica ran as fast as her condition allowed her. She saw a small cave with no time to check for creatures, she hastily entered and began her preparations. She summoned forth lathoeytask to grow at the entrance of the cave, weaving together in a natural design. She periodically paused in her work as she was wracked with pain. As time passed she began to worry about whether or not her husband was going to make it in time to see their child born. With the frequency of her contractions she sadly doubted it.

* * * *

Nichi looked over his shoulder to make sure Yecoshica was going, with that confirmed he faced their threat head on. There were ten of them, each a hunter from the village at the base of the mountain. As they approached and began to split up, he changed his form into a fully grown alcesk. He lunged for the ones that were headed in Yecoshica’s direction, knocking them all back in one fell swoop of his antlers. He then attacked the other group in the same manner, causing them all to hesitate. After a few hand signs from the leader of their little group, they surrounded him. He quickly realized how ineffective it would be to stay an alcesk and decided upon the more menacing form of an ursusk.

The leader of the huntsmen gave a shout and all of the hunters leapt into action. Nichi dodged the first two, swiping at them into another and into a tree. He roared out as he was shot in the left shoulder by their leader. He immediately turned to face the man and tackled him. There was so much force in that blow that the man passed out within a matter of seconds. The other six looked at each other fearfully, and hesitantly faced the ursusk. He took advantage of their hesitation and knocked down two into a heap, bounding upon a third. The last three dropped their weapons and ran for it just as thunder sounded.

After checking all of the unconscious men around for fatal wounds, Nichi ran off in the direction of his wife. He took a moment to catch her scent then chased after it. The wind increased in intensity as it brought a storm along with it. Just as the scent was being washed away by the rain he saw his wife’s handiwork, vines weaved together. Going into his human form he entered through the slight opening that was being grown over.

Seeing Nichi enter through the small opening, Yecoshica bid the lathoeytask to close. Facing her husband’s anxious face she said, “The plants are crying out… There’s a storm coming… one the likes of which… haven’t been seen… for centuries… not even the oldest of trees… around here has seen one as bad… Nichi, I’m afraid for our… child. This storm could tear the mountain apart… with us as well… What are we going to do…? Neither of us has the strength… to protect us for long…”

“Don’t worry so much about that, I’ll think of something. You just make sure that you and the baby make it through all right. For now just concentrate on you two. I’ll be right here; at the entrance for if the storm breaks through your lathoeytask.” Nichi changed into an arctursusk, his personal favorite form, and waited as his wife cried out in agony.

There was a loud crash outside, from one of the ailacidiphyk getting hit by lightning. They could hear the wind as it increased in intensity. Yecoshica’s contractions were growing closer and closer together, as the lathoeytas started breaking away. The wind outside was ripping at the vines, pulling and yanking them out of place. Yecoshica cried out as she started pushing her child out of her. Half the lathoeytas were gone now, revealing the outside world.

“That can’t be real, it just can’t.” said a shocked Nichi as he looked upon the storm. Outside there was a blizzard, tornados, a thunderstorm, hail, flashfloods, and indescribable storms of mass proportions. Blinding lightning flashed across the sky just as Yecoshica let out one final piercing scream. The child was born. She was whiter then the whitest freshly fallen snow with hair darker then the darkest of nights, and appeared to be stillborn. The storm paused for a moment, just long enough for her to take her first breath, then increased in intensity ten-fold. Yecoshica and Nichi covered their child with their bodies to protect her as the wind tore at them.

“This is it; we’re not going to make it. We won’t be able to see our little girl grow up. We barely have time to give her a name.” said Yecoshica as she sobbed.

“Yes, a name, what should it be? She deserves at least that much. No one should be forced to go to the great beyond with out one. But what should her name be?” was Nichi’s reply.

Together they thought, hoping to think of one before their end. The rain and hail pelted into them, cutting through their clothes. They both shouted out “I’ve got it!!!” then lightning struck the opening of their cave. They no longer had a roof over their head, and were injured from the rocks that flew at them. The wind became more insistent, pulling them apart, pulling at their child. They fought the wind with all they could muster, fought as their child began to slowly ascend into the sky. Each was hit so hard by hail, snow and rain combined into the wind that they were forced to let go. They watched in horror as their infant daughter rose higher and higher into the eye of the storm. She stopped suddenly; a white glow surrounded her, emanating from her eyes and mouth like white fire. The glow spread further and further from her body, enveloping the entire storm. It became blindingly bright for an instant as the storm raged, and then was gone with the storm. She slowly descended from the now clear sky, right into her parents’ outstretched arms.

“Eshonya, that shall be your name. Our little Eshonya.” Nichi said softly as he held his sleeping child. Yecoshica and Nichi walked off towards home as if nothing happened with the newest member to their family.

Chapter 1

The Gift

It was a quiet day on the great mountain of Yecothacho; the ground was blanketed in a fresh layer of snow. Eshonya was running around her small cabin in excitement. Today was her fifth birthday, and her parents’ promised to take her sledding today. She’d never been outside before, and sledding seemed to be the perfect thing to do on a snowy day.

“Mommy!!! Where’s daddy?! He promised that he’d go sledding with us. And I can’t find him anywhere.” Eshonya came sliding into the kitchen where her mom was applying the finishing touches to her cake.

“Don’t worry dear heart, he’ll be here. He just went to go finish making the sleds. We can’t go sledding without sleds.” Smiling, Yecoshica returned to her decorating.

Eshonya began pacing the kitchen with a false pout upon her features. Her mom left the room to get some more sugar out of the pantry; and just like any other five-year-old she went after the frosting on the cake. She crept up to the counter, and reached up towards the cake, finding she was to short she went to grab her stool. Her mom came in as she was pushing her stool towards the counter. “Eshonya! You know better. It’s not time to eat your cake yet, or the frosting.”

Yecoshica went back to her place behind the counter, made more frosting and continued decorating the cake. Eshonya returned her stool to it’s proper place and returned to her pacing. Loud knocking sounds suddenly came from the back door, causing Eshonya to jump and run off towards the sound. With the last letter added to the caked, Yecoshica followed.

With a grunt, Nichi began bringing the sleds inside as his daughter ran right at him. Dropping the sled on his foot he caught up his daughter and placed her upon his shoulder. Wincing he looked upon his wife he smiled and said, “I’m done.”

“Why don’t you just leave the sleds outside, we’ll be using them shortly anyway.” Shaking her head, Yecoshica went and took Eshonya from his shoulder. She looked upon his smiling tanned face, and loved how his smile reached his hawkish eyes. His smile was so contagious that she couldn’t help but smile herself. Walking back towards the kitchen with Eshonya in her arms she was overwhelmed with a sense of rightness and belonging. She never again wanted to go through what she and Nichi went through. She above all else didn’t want Eshonya to suffer in that way.

When Yecoshica was young she had blonde hair and hazel eyes, she was average height and was of fair skin. When her abilities awakened she changed. Her hair became a rose-red, her eyes were a pine-green, she grew to be 6’0” tall, and her skin was the complexion of soil. Nichi used to have bright red hair, grey eyes, and the lightest and smoothest skin around. When his abilities were awakened his hair turned to that of a mountain lion with a thick layer covering most of his body, his eyes became like a hawk’s in color and shape, and his skin became as dark as a grizzly bear’s fur. Because of their changes they were no longer welcome in the village. So they were forced to leave by friends and family. They built a cabin together and thought that they would live together in peace. Unfortunately once the villagers discovered Yecoshica was pregnant, they began spying on them. One day they were out gathering food for dinner when she went into labor; when they discovered that they were being watched.

She didn’t want to think about it anymore, she wanted to forget the fear that those people instilled in her. She was afraid to be happy, to show any sign of happiness, afraid that those very same villagers would take it away. Hearing a small voice call out to her, she turned her attention back to the present and to the small girl in her arms. With a confused look Eshonya said, “Mommy, what were you doing? You just stopped and went blank.”

“Sorry dear heart, I was just lost in thought. I’ll try not to do that again. Okay?” smiling she added, “So why don’t we go get that cake finished, eat some lunch and then go sledding.”

Once in the kitchen she returned to decorating the cake, Nichi began making lunch, and Eshonya sat impatiently at the counter. Nichi put a platter of some bread, cheese, nonidaek meat, fruit slices and some vegetables on the counter to choose from. Nichi, being a vegetarian, grabbed some of everything that did not pertain in the killing of animals. Eshonya grabbed a small bit of everything whilst staring hungrily at the cake, not really thinking about her lunch.

“Finished, now once you two are done with your lunch we’ll have some cake.” Seeing Eshonya stuff her cheeks like an anomaciurusk, she added, “Now Eshonya, no need to act like a squirrel, both of you have to be finished before we go anywhere, or have any cake. And I still have yet to partake in this array of delicacies.” Laughing she sat down at the counter with them and began taking meat and fruits (which are harvested only after falling on the ground) from the platters, making sure to take her time as her little girl rushed to be finished.
51835 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / F / Kentucky
Posted 2/19/08
I think this has the potential to be a wonderful novel. I like your writing style and I am so, so, SO glad to see that you know how to spell and structure a sentence. No offense to people who can't spell great or anything, it's just so much easier for me to read it without being thrown off by errors and sentences that don't flow or make sense.
I do have a few suggestions though. It may just be me, but I don't really get the names of these creatures you're talking about. I can't pronounce them in my head, and I don't know what an "alcesk" or an "ursusk" is supposed to look like so that makes it a bit difficult to be absorbed into the beginning of the story. Also, if I were you, I'd give Yecoshica a nickname. Her name is really long and if she's going to be a recurring character, it may be easier on the reader if you shortened it. Something like Yecoshi or Yeco as a nickname her husband uses, you know what I mean? I hope you'll post some more of this story, because I'd love to see how it turns out and maybe find out what these strangely named creatures look like. Overall, I like it a lot. So keep it up!
Posted 2/19/08
yep..wonderful story!
6257 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Asia
Posted 2/29/08
Wow.. for once I thought I was inside a myth. =D Your story is really interesting and absorbing, I'm sure once you complete, it'll sound even better.

Also I'm glad there weren't any mistakes in grammar or spelling, so the reading went smoothly, apart from a few hard-to-pronounce names that I came across.. =D Anyway it'd have been great if you had a small glossary too, explaining what those words meant.

Anyway.. like imperial_aspirin has mentioned before, your story has a good potential to become a great novel. So I wish you best of luck and thanks a lot for sharing it with us.
You must be logged in to post.