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Post Reply Who is responsible for starting a fight?
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Posted 10/6/17 , edited 10/7/17
What is the defining point where a fight has started, in your opinion? Is it at first contact? When someone perceives a threat? When they make a decision to respond to that perceived threat?

If it's something subjective, like perception of a threat, go in depth. Who started the fight? The person who perceived the threat, or the person who appears to be threatening, regardless of whether that person actually intended to fight or not?

If it's an objective point other than first contact, explain that as well, please.

First contact does not necessarily mean a strike. It is any physical aggression- i.e. grabbing, pushing, punching, etc.

Further, can a person be justified in starting a fight? Can they make an argument of 'preemptive self-defense'?


IMO, a fight starts at first contact. Any other point is meaningless, as subjective defining points leave it too open for people to claim "He started it!" When they threw the first punch.
If first contact is the starting point, I think it is possible, in theory, for the person who started it to be justified in their behavior, but due to the subjective nature of perceived threats and the possibility of misperception and/or disproportional responses, we should, in practice, treat the person who initiates contact as the one in the wrong.
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Posted 10/6/17 , edited 10/7/17
The big bang is responsible
#ScienceFacts
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Posted 10/6/17 , edited 10/7/17
I follow what the law says on this one
http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/assault-and-battery-overview.html


Spoken words alone will not be enough of an act to constitute an assault unless the offender backs them up with an act or actions that put the victim in reasonable fear of imminent harm.


But personally I believe that both parties are responsible.
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22 / M / Canada
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Posted 10/6/17 , edited 10/7/17
It doesn't matter, both parties will always be held equally accountable in order to maintain a false sense of fair judgement.
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Posted 10/7/17 , edited 10/13/17
It's hard to say, i think the person that is first to act as in verbal abuse or the whole "what are you looking at?" , the stare or glare, or a shoulder bump or push or etc is responsible but often it's the person to react or ah retaliate that may throw the first punch so you could argue whoever throws the first punch starts the actual "fight" but if it weren't for the person causing the scene/reaction to begin with then it never would have happened.

I used to go out a lot and some people are just real wankers. The whole "do you know who i am" , the ones who have bikie dads or are connected in some way or out with a whole heap of their mates and feel untouchable. Some people are just out looking for a fight and some people simply cannot handle their drink and get agro drunk.
As far as iam concerned, if someone says "what the fuck are you looking at?" for no good reason then they started it, same with the intentional shoulder bump as you walk past.
But having said that, if you just walk away the majority of the time then the fight is avoided. So often it is on you to just be the mature adult and walk away, even though it may make you look soft.

I mean some people are dicks and will start a fight over an accidentally bump or spilling a drink. But i think most people are cool like that. If you spill someones drink, just buy them another one.

I think if someone hits on your girl or makes sleazy comments or touches her when you're out with her then they started it, but then i've seen someone simply say hello to a girl probably not even knowing she had a boyfriend and that was all it took for him to get hit.

I actually found myself in several situations over the years when i either walked away or talked the idiots down and out of it. Not in an aggressive way nor a pussy pleading scared way, just in a calm fearless way, level headed. People often dont seem to know how to respond to that.

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32 / M
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Posted 10/7/17 , edited 10/7/17
The defender starts the fight by responding to the attack. Otherwise, it's not a fight.
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39 / Inside your compu...
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Posted 10/7/17 , edited 10/7/17
Doesn't matter

It takes two to tango
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51 / F / Toronto
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Posted 10/8/17 , edited 10/8/17
In the case of a mugging or similar criminal assault I'd say it's the person who makes the first aggressive move.
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Posted 10/8/17 , edited 10/8/17
For me, it's 2 situations.

1. first attack. unless the assailant brandishes a weapon, in which case.
2. Threatening gesture with a weapon brandished. I don't take chances when weapons are involved.

If your threatening me with a pocket knife, or even a decent stick, I will count that as you starting a fight, and I will defend myself.

Most likely by running away. :P

(before you ask, no, I don't own any weapons besides a metal baseball bat. Too poor for a gun atm, and I've never felt like I needed a combat knife.)
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32 / M / WA, USA
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Posted 10/8/17 , edited 10/8/17

MrAnimeSK wrote:

As far as iam concerned, if someone says "what the fuck are you looking at?" for no good reason then they started it, same with the intentional shoulder bump as you walk past.


I'm curious. How is that sufficient reason to fight someone? Not judging. Just I've heard the sentiment elsewhere - from two of my brothers actually - and I don't understand it. And asking them has proven ineffective. Since there's nothing of value at stake I would just walk away. [Edit: And my brothers often enough do not simply walk away - I'm keen to understand why.]
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36 / M / SoFlo
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Posted 10/8/17 , edited 10/8/17
Are you in a fight right now OP? Sounds like you might going through stuff.
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Posted 10/8/17 , edited 10/8/17

evilpuffball wrote:


MrAnimeSK wrote:

As far as iam concerned, if someone says "what the fuck are you looking at?" for no good reason then they started it, same with the intentional shoulder bump as you walk past.


I'm curious. How is that sufficient reason to fight someone? Not judging. Just I've heard the sentiment elsewhere - from two of my brothers actually - and I don't understand it. And asking them has proven ineffective. Since there's nothing of value at stake I would just walk away. [Edit: And my brothers often enough do not simply walk away - I'm keen to understand why.]


Yeah well as i said in my post i usually would just walk away. But i guess it may depend on who iam with, who it happened in front of or what sort of mood i was in, how drunk i was, etc.
Cant say i've actually had it happen too many times.
Depending on who says or dose it can also effect the response. There's some people that i wouldn't fuck with.
But i've never been an aggressive person or a fighter overall. Normally i do just ignore shit cunts who do that sort of thing. Not sure i've actually ever had the shoulder bump even happen to me personally. "what are you looking at?" would be the more common one.
But iam not the sort to start shit for no reason and i dont stare and glare at people, i dont hit on peoples partners in front of them, i dont walk around like iam top shit. So it's rare that it happens.
Even though bullies will often target weak people, when you're out they are probably actually more likely to target people who look tougher, and/or act like they're king dick.
I mean the actual hard arses anyway, the ones who are good fighters and connected and that will often target big dudes or even if you're in a group.
That i've seen anyhow.
Usually if you're not acting like a dick and bringing attention to yourself its all good. But theres often always at least one wanker who will start for no good reason because he cant handle his drink or he's trying to impress his mates. Or he's just a psycho... lol...

But yeah like i said, i dont like to fight over something so petite. But it depends on the circumstances.
I've told people before to not be an idiot, I've asked people why they're so angry and been like "you having a bad night or something?"

lol reminds me of the intro from the song "natural born killaz" "yo man why're you fucking with me??" :response: "fuck you n*gga cos i can"

I haven't been in fights that much anyways an i always used to go out. Rap music never made me think i was a thug OG hard arse gangsta lol.
There's way more cool people than fuck heads. Most people actually do go out to have a good time.





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31 / M
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Posted 10/8/17 , edited 10/8/17
The one who physically strikes first.

If you are comfortable fighting, but want to stay out of jail, I have a pretty good solution for that.

When someone is talking trash (usually they will be threatening), just look at them and say, "I am right here, come get some." Or "Do something" Then they either have to back up what they are saying, putting you in the position of self defense or they look like a little bitch. Even is they keep trash talking, after that, laugh and ignore them because no obe will think of it as anything more than a yapping dog with no bite.

However.... be prepared for a fight if you say that. Not all people are just running their mouths. You can end up with the shit kicked out of you.
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Posted 10/8/17 , edited 10/13/17

Potentsaliva wrote:

The big bang is responsible
#ScienceFacts


"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

Therefore, Big Bang is to blame.
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Posted 10/9/17 , edited 10/9/17

robotechy wrote:

I follow what the law says on this one
http://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/assault-and-battery-overview.html


Spoken words alone will not be enough of an act to constitute an assault unless the offender backs them up with an act or actions that put the victim in reasonable fear of imminent harm.


But personally I believe that both parties are responsible.


What do you think constitutes a "reasonable fear of imminent harm?" Does it vary depending on the relationship between individuals? For instance, two strangers vs two guys who dislike each other, but each knows the other well enough to know they aren't brawlers?

If someone put their hands up in frustration, like so:



Does that give the other person their 'reasonable fear'?


nanikore2 wrote:

Doesn't matter

It takes two to tango


Do you think it matters if one person is an aggressor and the other is fearful, trying to keep from getting hurt?


zangeif123 wrote:

Are you in a fight right now OP? Sounds like you might going through stuff.


I recently was in a fight with a close relative, actually. His attitude about it put me in a crappy mood, frankly. Sorry I made it that obvious; I thought I mostly kept my personal situation from influencing the original post.
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