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Post Reply If You Had To Replace Your Testicles With Any Pair Of Fruit Or Vegetable, What Would You Choose?
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22 / M / In Jail, On Death...
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
Here is the scenario, you have been in a horrific accident of some sort, and are in the emergency room, to which you are informed that your testicles were completely destroyed in said accident. Unfortunately, due to a lack of stem cell research, you will not be able to grow your testicles back, but on the brighter side, your surgical team states that they can make it possible for you to grow a pair of fruits, vegetable, or a mixture of the two where your testicles previously were. "It may make a great snack on outdoor hikes" states one of them, and to make this offer more palatable, you will be paid $2000 dollars a month for life for agreeing to have such an anomaly. So I ask you this, Crunchyroll community. What pair of fruits, vegetables, or mix of the two, would you want to replace your lost testicles?

Rules:
-Fruit may or may not accommodate for size. Your choice. You can grow testicle sized pumpkins if you wish it so.

-All vegetables and fruits will be hanging overheard, regardless of whether they are from a vine, a tree, etc.

-Potatoes will be grown in dirt sacks shaped into two, spherical shapes of great familiarity, as well many other vegetables of this nature.

-A small bush of grapes count as one testicle.

-Fruits will be optimally within one day of being picked, and grow in a span of one day.

-They cannot rot.

I like persimmons, so maybe I will grow a pair of persimmons. Or a rare fruit that I can sell on the side for much money.

Edit: Additional Scenarios You May Consider!

-Your urine becomes the juice or derivative of the fruit between your loins. (I.E. You may urinate apple juice or apple cider. You are able to choose which when desiring to urinate.)

-You are able to procreate, but your children may be plant human hybrids.
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M
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
It is not often I actually type something like this but I feel it is required in this situation:

What the hell is wrong with you, man?

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22 / AH / Helipad
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
Helicopters don't have balls to begin with.
Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
If I pick them do they keep growing back?

Edit: I learned to read.

I want Delaware grapes. They're just really nice. And I wouldn't mind having tiny testicles that don't get in the way of anything for once.

But I guess having just 2 tiny grapes wouldn't be great since they won't be much of a snack. Can I have a small bunch.
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28 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
Two singlular grapes. Nuff said.
qwueri 
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32 / M / TN
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
The things you come up with when you're high?
Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
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F
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/21/17
Provided I had testicles in the first place, I'd obviously choose to grow a pair of Durian.
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23
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
If you picked a soft fruit though, wouldn't you smush them every time you put your legs together?
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Wherever
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
Give me whatever. I'll take the free 2k a month
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31 / M / Modesto, CA
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
Yams.
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100 / M
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
That is gross bro! I thought I had problem but you take the Cake!
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25 / M
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
Grapes are the obvious choice, but I'm a renegade so I'll go with two mini pineapples.
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70 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 10/20/17 , edited 10/20/17
LOL, PV.....there should be silliness like this posted more often than seldom:

To accommodate both urine state (apple juice) & jizz state (apple cider with the sediment ): a pair of jazz apples. Finally, a magnificent, metaphoric opportunity to commune with the squirrels (4-legged, not the other variety that may be related and/or live in a community near you); nuts fit for human consumption: not salty, nice, crisp, tasty.

Yum......

I''m a guy.....and I can change....if I have to....I guess

(tip o' the hat to Red Green, Canadian humorist) -_^
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