Post Reply When you see bad parenting in public...
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23 / AH / Helipad
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Posted 10/23/17 , edited 10/23/17
What I hate even more than bratty children are the parents that let their children behave like brats. Their kids are running around, shrieking, disturbing other people, and touching everything and they don't correct them even once. And then they buy them treats to reward their poor behavior.

This never ceases to annoy me, because these parents are creating a problem for themselves and everyone else by not laying down the law. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I was a kid, I was not allowed to touch anything in stores and I was expected to keep my voice down. Most importantly, there were punishments rather than rewards when I misbehaved.

Rant over
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F / BuBbLeS!
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Posted 10/23/17 , edited 10/23/17
I was in the store the other day and I saw a mother spank her son in public for bad behavior and then escort him out of the store and left him in the car with dad to finish in the store. gee those were the days I suppose. dunno what happened, but when children are raised not told no, to encourage such behavior, by default this will pass onto the next generation. spank and time out, don't reward them. for goodness sake tell them no and mean it, or, better yet for nervous/anxious people go shopping without your children! but I'm with you, I see so much bad parenting and when a parent does correct bad behavior people scream child abuse, I give kudos for proper parenting. children behaved better with discipline than none at all.
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22 / M / Prison
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Posted 10/23/17 , edited 10/23/17
A general misconception here is when people perceive rewarding a child for not being bad in the same vein as compatible reinforcement. It is not quite the same, and why spanking can get a great deal of flak, not for being child abuse, but merely being ineffective teaching. Punishment can work as well as to decrease bad behavior, but taking things a step forward by rewarding good behavior incompatible with the original, problematic behavior is good parenting, alongside explaining to your child why you should or should not do this.

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20 / M / Somewhere a lot l...
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Posted 10/23/17 , edited 10/24/17

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

A general misconception here is when people perceive rewarding a child for not being bad in the same vein as compatible reinforcement. It is not quite the same, and why spanking can get a great deal of flak, not for being child abuse, but merely being ineffective teaching. Punishment can work as well as to decrease bad behavior, but taking things a step forward by rewarding good behavior incompatible with the original, problematic behavior is good parenting, alongside explaining to your child why you should or should not do this.


I think you're overestimating children piroties. Tell a child you'll buy him/her the new gaming console available and they would still act obnoxious in public if they feel like it and are used to it. Rewarding good behavior also means special attention, which to a child is like money, so in theory when they behave well for a period of time, that attention becomes a norm and an expectation.

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22 / M / Prison
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Posted 10/23/17 , edited 10/24/17

ShittyRestaurant wrote:


PeripheralVisionary wrote:

A general misconception here is when people perceive rewarding a child for not being bad in the same vein as compatible reinforcement. It is not quite the same, and why spanking can get a great deal of flak, not for being child abuse, but merely being ineffective teaching. Punishment can work as well as to decrease bad behavior, but taking things a step forward by rewarding good behavior incompatible with the original, problematic behavior is good parenting, alongside explaining to your child why you should or should not do this.


I think you're overestimating children piroties. Tell a child you'll buy him/her the new gaming console available and they would still act obnoxious in public if they feel like it and are used to it. Rewarding good behavior also means special attention, which to a child is like money, so in theory when they behave well for a period of time, that attention becomes a norm and an expectation.



Younger children do need attention, but the process of weaning is not something I am too familiar with, I admit. Punishment doesn't necessarily tell a child what is right, but what is wrong, and the temporary effects of punishment often has consequences leading to doing the inappropriate behavior more discretely. Recognition isn't a bad thing, but praising should lessen for what should be the norm. The purpose should transition from establishing a period of civil behavior as the norm, to having exemplary behavior being praised, in a sort of bit by bit pushing.

I am not advocating spoiling the child, but the generation notion of punishment to decrease an undesirable behavior, and reinforcment to increase chances of the opposite, or incompatible behavior. The keyword being increase. My fear is that what many people see as effective parenting is greatly misunderstood.
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31 / M / Sacramento, CA
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Posted 10/24/17 , edited 10/24/17
Shitty parents raise shitty kids into shitty people who become shitty parents themselves and the circle of shit goes on.
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22 / M / Somewhere to my l...
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Posted 10/25/17 , edited 10/25/17
you see that on the internet very often as well.

10 year old squeaker calling you random insults, then if you say anything back, they get their parents to come and argue "Why did you make my precious angel Timmy cry?", ma'am/sir, have you heard what your "precious angel" has been saying/typing?

There's not much you can do about it. Shitty parents just don't want to be proper parents and teach their kids proper manners. "Hey mommy, gimme an iPad" "okay if i buy you an iPad will you leave me alone?" "yes", "okay here you go, go annoy those people on the internet and have them do my job for me"

When you and your fellow friends/teammates/other-gamers are on voice call for co-op/PvP games, then some random kid comes and starts screaming and firing insults into the mic /tableflip

I wish we can go back to the days when parents raised their kids into decent people..
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23 / F
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Posted 11/3/17 , edited 11/3/17
I see them all the time in supermarkets. They're kinda the reason why I never want to have children.
Posted 11/4/17 , edited 11/9/17
Parenting isn't something anyone can prepare for, at least not entirely. You can always take psychology courses and study on human development, but all children differ in temperament and personality. All you can really do is mold their environment into something that best fits their temperament, be consistent with the waning of your child, and promote exploration and exposure to a variety of experiences and stimuli.In which case, punishment might be an effective method for some children, but reinforcement might also be a efficient alternative. Raising children is entirely a learning process for the parent, just as it's for the child being brought into a new and mysterious world.
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25 / F / Chile
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Posted 11/5/17 , edited 11/9/17
Parenting is one of the topics people is not very knowledgeable about :/ . That's why I find so sad that there is still so many people that think the punishment strategy actually work. The punishment thing came from behaviorism and ignorance, it's proven that may have a negative effect on children but sadly many years had to pass before that finding.

You can keep your son under control by scolded him or something but, good, kids always are going to misbehave in a way, because they are just CHILDREN, they are suppose to be noisy and anxious, it's like a stage-thing.
Expecting your son behaving like an adult is like asking an adult to talk as loud as a child in front of others. it's just uncomfortable and impossible.
Of coure there are things that make possible for a child to behave in a way that doesn't bother others but there are many kids that aren't like that and that doesn't mean they are the bad boys.
Personally What I have noticed is the little or no patience that parents may have when treating their kids. Discipline is fine, but shouting, spanking and getting angry at them just because kids talk or run more than you can endure it's not a valid reason for going nuts for me.

On the other hand, yes, there are kids that misbehave badly and disrespect even their parents, but, what really picks my attention is how those children became that way and why.
If you search about the five types of attachment you will realize that most of the negative behavioral things that annoy people have their origin on the parents behavior first.





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29 / F / United Kingdom
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Posted 11/5/17 , edited 11/5/17
Its not always the kids though. I was in a line waiting at KFC and this 12 year old girl was simply biting her nails and the mother slapped so hard for doing it, you could hear the skin on skin contact, was totally out of order and everyone looked disgusted. I was the only one who said something and called her a abusive cow.
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30 / M / Aboard the Hyperion
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Posted 11/8/17 , edited 11/9/17
I find it very effective that if the child is told about a position where they would be made fun of should they behave a certain way, they will likely avoid such behavior. Children do not want to be a subject of ridicule, especially around their peers (i.e. other children are present). I think this should be one of the go to methods before a more confrontational approach like verbal scolding or corporal punishment.
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15 / F / Texas
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Posted 11/9/17 , edited 11/9/17
I'm not in social settings enough to see it for myself but of course I've seen videos. Parenting is a hard thing and differes to person to person. Some strategies work with kids (like timeout) while others could care less about the punishment(like a child continuesly getting of the chair). Now, you shouldn't let your child be a mini-Godzilla in a place it's not suitable( like a store or doctor's office). The parent should rein them in & punish the child in a way that they seem fitting like reprimanding a toy or a spank. In short I guess in this scenario, a parent should discipline and tell the child it's bad to run around the store & not to treat them. But that's my parenting and other people will have different opinions that's completely normal.
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