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26 / M
Posted 2/16/08 , edited 2/17/08
Just like poems stories can also rhyme. so heres mine called The girl who never was. please tell me wat u think^^

The Girl Who Never Was

Deep in the forest
A long time ago
Lived a little girl
Who lived in a totally different world

For you see she was a biochemist
Just like her dear dad
He made people using different potions
But a wife he never had

So on one cloudy day
He rushed to his lab
To create the perfect wife
That he never had

But by adding the wrong ingredient
He accidentally made a girl
He named her Suzie
And she meant everything to his world

So everyday
She played with her dad
But when she found out his secret
She got very mad

As time crept on
She plotted a scheme
Oh how it was wicked
That monstrous fiend!
She ran up to his study
And grabbed a big book
Then took a knife
And stabbed her dad’s cook

She opened the book
And took a blue vial
She poured it in his soup
It smelled awfully vile

When the deed was done
She hid in a nook
Waiting for her dad
To return home from work

When he came back home
From his job deep in town
He saw the hot soup
And started slurping it down

That’s when little Suzie slithered from the nook
Maliciously saying
“Goodbye Daddy,
You great, big schnook”

With a thunderous thud
His body did fall
And all little Suzie did
Was stand there and didn’t help him at all

As she went upstairs
To pack her things
She was laughing
So evilly
But as she got to her room
She froze, she couldn’t move
And was hit in the head by a witch’s broom

Gwendolyn the witch
Had seen what see done
And flew many miles
From her house on the sun

With a mighty spell
Gwendolyn imprisoned her
Inside a creature
Who had lots of fur.

As Gwendolyn flew off
Back to her house on the sun
She made sure little Suzie knew
What she had done

As time passed on people forgot about her
And as for her tale
No one told it anymore
But on one dark day it is said
She will rise from her grave
And kill again

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25 / F / in a dark place w...
Posted 2/16/08 , edited 2/17/08
dang that was an awesome story.. i loved it..
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26 / M
Posted 2/16/08 , edited 2/17/08
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27 / F / Here
Posted 2/17/08 , edited 2/17/08
this is really good! and a bit scary...I hope I'll never meet little Suzie *-* x3
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26 / M / Florida
Posted 2/17/08 , edited 4/25/08
One word... Awesome!
Poor dad got killed by his own duaghter.
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26 / M
Posted 2/17/08 , edited 4/25/08

tattooedheretic wrote:

One word... Awesome!
Poor dad got killed by his own duaghter.

thanx so muxh^^ its my first story and i hope to make more
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25 / M / Tulsa Ok
Posted 2/18/08 , edited 4/25/08
hey and you said you weren't much of a writer. this is excellent.
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Posted 2/23/08 , edited 4/25/08
(Second Chances) (its a story poem)

The day will come one you wished,
You mad the choice I’m talking about,
One and only question,
I’m willing to ask,
I’m afraid of the answer,
I’m going to here.
Hold me tight and tell me its gunna,
Be all right.

Your beginning to scare me,
Walking up to me so slow,
I turn to run,
You grab my arm,
As if I’m owned,
The look in your eyes has turned to hate,
What have I done to deserve this,
Does loving someone count,
Oh! Now I know its because,
She just said been using you,
To get some other guy,
I told you so, but what do I know

I’m your friend,
I love you more though,
If only I had said something sooner,
Do you really hate me that much?
That I’m non existent to you,
I yell as I you start to hit,
You scream and tell me,
That you hate me,
I don’t understand,
I’m your friend,
The only who loves you,
For who you are.

I’m down on the floor with the,
Taste of blood in my mouth,
I’m sorry I begin to say as you hit me one more time
The colors start to swirl in my mind,
Am I dead? if only there wasn’t complete darkness

I wake up in a white room,
I’m sure I am dead now,
I start to cry,
All I ever wanted was you to love me back,
My other friends,
Will kill you if I’m really dead,
Is that you holding my hand?
I sit up and look around,
All my friends are there,
All of them start to cry as I,
Try to speak, blood pours out my mouth,
What has happened? I ask,
Here I am again afraid of the response.

They tell me I have six broken ribs,
The doctors say I wont live more than
Two weeks, cause of the blood loss.

The next day,
I wake up to your face,
I look straight into your eyes,
There going to kill you I say,
Still tasting blood,
I know but I’m here to beg
You to let me have a chance,
To do something right,

I sit there for a minute staring into those eyes,
Thought of the warning my friends had given me,
The day I said I loved him,
Love must cloud the mind,
Cause there warning was a blur,

Yea, you can have a second chance,
I’m all in,
And you have to be to.
Please don’t ruin these weeks
I’m not sure you should love me
With only two weeks to live.
No, he replied,
I have always been your friend,
I’ve taken care of you,
I’ve loved you; please don’t push me away,
I won’t go.

You grab my hand and don’t let me go,
You lean over and kiss me, crying you sing,
The song I said was my favorite,
How I only get to love you for,
The shortest time,
When I loved you since I met you.

You hold my hand promising,
You’ll never do it again!
Saying I’m sorry, like every day

As the two weeks go by,
You say I’m gunna make it,
I have to, for him and for my friends,
I love you, I say to you and I say,
I’ll see you later to my friends,

The next day I wake up to your face,
I’ve gone one day over the doctor’s limit,
Next to your hand lay an empty ring box,
What were you thinking?
I know that drugs have been an outlet,
For you in the past,
This is no joke, a scream at him.
He says, it wasn’t intended to be,
He hold up my hand and shows me the,
Silver ring, with a tiny purple stone,

The colors start to fade,
He’s yelling saying, you can make it,
Come back to earth,
Or I’m coming after you,
I love you were his last words he said,
That I herd.

I’m flying were I’m not sure,
I see the pearly gates,
This must be heaven,
I’m an angel,
I follow you around even though,
You can’t see me.

Your on the top of a building,
Don’t just I scream,
Even though you can’t here me,
He says life just isn’t the say without me,
There’s no reason to live.
You jump, I scream and start to cry,
I’m an angel, were not supposed to have emotion.
I jump with you and hold you up,
As much as my angel strength can,
We both hit bottom, blood going every where,
I felt pain all over my body,
Somehow I new he wasn’t going to die,
His time wasn’t up yet
And neither was mine.
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