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Post Reply How do I make people like me?
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25 / F / United Kingdom
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Posted 10/31/17 , edited 10/31/17
Can't live peacefully if everyone's opinion about you matters, not that everyone likes to use emojis.
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33 / M / Ohio
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Posted 11/1/17 , edited 11/1/17
Honestly what is not to like about you?

One cannot force someone to like them but you can tip the odds in your favor with emojis, sincerity of your thoughts, and attempting to be interested and engaged in what the person has to say to you.
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Posted 11/1/17 , edited 11/2/17
Your writing style (to judge from the OP).

It's flat, very clinical, and with extraneous use of language leading to verbosity.

Basically it reads like a science journal, not a conversation. I had/have that issue too. The quickest and easiest fix is judicial use of emojis. Don't go overboard, but the standard smiley, frown or tongue even once a day (per person) will alleviate most if your issues immediately. It's illogical, but they serve the same purpose as facial expressions and tone of voice.

Longer term, use more contractions, simpler and fewer words, and shorter sentences. Change things up. Pay attention to how the other person's writing and try to mirror them to build rapport.

Some good books on the subject are 'On Writing Well' and 'Sharp Writing.'

EDIT: Related, FORMATTING "recreates" emphasis and *tone of voice* very well.

... And don't forget exclamations!
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Posted 11/1/17 , edited 11/2/17

DrunkKanti wrote:
I have the same problem, but in real life. I've been told I can be intimidating to talk to because I don't smile often around others and I have an intense stare (whatever that means). I've been trying to correct this by forcing myself to smile more to seem more warm or inviting. But I don't know. A forced smile just seems so... forced. It looks unnatural.

I think using emojis are kind of similar. But they're easier to use than a real smile because you don't have to worry about whether or not they look natural. They look the same every time and can help convey a lighter mood to whoever you're communicating with. I used to never use emojis at all, but started not too long ago so I could seem more friendly.


That sounds like a mirroring issue. Most people expect continual fluctuation in your face throughout a conversation. It's the same principle as nodding along with someone to seem like you're listening, whether you are or not.

Strive to make eye contact about 80% of the time, and intentionally glance away at their face, behind them etc., because 90% or more triggers fight or flight instincts or make you seem "too" interested, or angry.

Be aware what your face and body are doing. Work on your eyebrows, head angle and body language like leaning in, raising eyebrows, sometimes moving your arms or hands (not to the point where you look fidgety), and slight smiles and frowns as appropriate -- trying to display (genuine) emotion just a drop more explicitly than you think you should. It ties to humans' sense of comfort: they expect variation and reaction to show you're listening and interested, as opposed to thinking of something else (or that they're wasting your time).
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 11/1/17 , edited 11/2/17

marklebid wrote:


DrunkKanti wrote:
I have the same problem, but in real life. I've been told I can be intimidating to talk to because I don't smile often around others and I have an intense stare (whatever that means). I've been trying to correct this by forcing myself to smile more to seem more warm or inviting. But I don't know. A forced smile just seems so... forced. It looks unnatural.

I think using emojis are kind of similar. But they're easier to use than a real smile because you don't have to worry about whether or not they look natural. They look the same every time and can help convey a lighter mood to whoever you're communicating with. I used to never use emojis at all, but started not too long ago so I could seem more friendly.


That sounds like a mirroring issue. Most people expect continual fluctuation in your face throughout a conversation. It's the same principle as nodding along with someone to seem like you're listening, whether you are or not.

Strive to make eye contact about 80% of the time, and intentionally glance away at their face, behind them etc., because 90% or more triggers fight or flight instincts or make you seem "too" interested, or angry.

Be aware what your face and body are doing. Work on your eyebrows, head angle and body language like leaning in, raising eyebrows, sometimes moving your arms or hands (not to the point where you look fidgety), and slight smiles and frowns as appropriate -- trying to display (genuine) emotion just a drop more explicitly than you think you should. It ties to humans' sense of comfort: they expect variation and reaction to show you're listening and interested, as opposed to thinking of something else (or that they're wasting your time).


The fact this matters to some people is stupid asf but this guy is spot on.
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20 / M / United States
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Posted 12/25/17 , edited 12/25/17
I don't really think using emojies is what gets a conversation going, but it's the experiences or interest we share that make the other person you speak with. If you want people to know who you are you gotta be you, let them know what you like whether it be about music, games, anime/manga etc. Emojis I feel are used to create a reaction without having to type it all out. I know that must be a poor example, not the best when I need to explain how I feel about certain things.

And well, I don't have a lot of friends online or offline. But from my personal experience with online conversations, you gotta find the right person to talk to. Some people just want to have over a hundred friends to show off they are popular(at least that's my experience).

I've gone through a lot of conversations and friendships, some go well while others don't. So I say try finding someone with similar interest, it's how I've met some good people in my life. I know this is short and might or might not have helped, but I hope something I said helps. Oh and if you ever feel like like having talking with someone, you're more then welcome to come and say hi to me.
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31 / F / Adelaide, South A...
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Posted 12/25/17 , edited 12/25/17


I find it difficult to communicate without Polar Bear Cafe pics...

I think we should both relax - as the old saying goes "those that mind don't matter and those that matter won't mind".

You do you.
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Posted 12/26/17 , edited 12/26/17
You give them chocolates..
jk

basically, just be yourself. Don't be someone you're not.
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22 / AH / Helipad
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Posted 1/4/18 , edited 1/4/18
Whether or not they like you can depend who you're talking to and whether or not you're a good match as friends in the first place. For example, some people might assume you're not happy while talking to them if you don't use many emojis, but others find people who use lots emojis to be fake and annoying. While the emoji-lovers might find you cold, the emoji-haters might find you refreshing. If you're not inclined to use emojis, then don't. Other than the obvious "be yourself" advice, I would say that if you show interest in what the other person is saying, if you don't get offended too easily, and if you are reasonably polite without going over the top (excessive politeness is suspicious too, just like too many emojis), then you'll probably find at least a few people online who like you. Also, it's important to note that people don't interpret words based solely on their definitions. For example, saying "that's nice" can come off as fake or disinterested depending on the context, despite the fact that this phrase technically has a positive meaning. Think about phrases or words you tend to use in online conversations and make sure they don't have negative connotations.
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Posted 1/4/18 , edited 1/4/18
Have you tried turning it off and on again?

JK JK. Personally, I noticed that when I worry about how I come off to other people, I just act even weirder. So don't worry about it too much ~
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20 / M
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Posted 1/4/18 , edited 1/4/18
Don't worry about that, the only thing you know is that you are YOU that's all if the persons who talk with you think that then they're used to cute words and emojis but if you're talking with the real feelings so what's the problem right?
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19 / M / Ottawa, Ontario,...
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Posted 1/5/18 , edited 1/6/18

Nalaniel wrote:

It seems that when it comes to online conversations, many people are inclined to believe that I am a cold and indifferent individual. That probably stems from the fact that I do not use many emojis. However, that cannot possibly be the only reason as to why I am not viewed in a favourable way. An important thing to note is that this impression of me tends to fade away after people get to know me better, but what can I do to avoid giving people an unpleasant first impression of me? I have a difficult time believing that emojis can make such a big difference. What do you think?


Some people are just dicks its better to ignore that lot and stick with people who like you for you
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