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Post Reply What does love even feel like?
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29 / F
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Posted 12/17/17
I've been asking myself this question for a while now. It just suddenly hit me one day that I'm not sure I've felt love, at least not in a LOOOOONG time. I'm talking about "when I was a little kid long time, and I don't even remember that.
I'm not just talking about romantic love, of course. I mean, love for family, for friends.

I don't have any friends. I have two (unhappily) married parents and a younger brother. We don't really have a bad relationship but I don't know if I love them. I'm indifferent to them a lot of the time. Sometimes I think I hate them. And would that even be possible? To love and hate your family (who, by the way, has always made sure you want for nothing)?

This must sound horrible, and yeah I'm a pretty horrible person. But I still want to know if ANYONE out there knows what love feels like? What does it feel like to you?
yagi86 
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31 / M / ohio
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Posted 12/17/17 , edited 12/17/17
it is like you think about the other person all the time and you want nothing more than to be with them and spend time with them and you want to see them happy and never sad, it breaks your heart to see them sad or hurt. and you'll do anything to be with them and you can't imagine life without them
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28 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 12/17/17
I myself am very similar to you. I have never felt any sort of attachment to my family, despite knowing who they are to me. I've always doubted if I ever felt love because I never knew what it was like to feel loved. I wonder if theres even a point of trying. Is it really necessary?
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22 / a pop tart
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Posted 12/17/17 , edited 12/17/17

yagi86 wrote:

It is like you think about the other person all the time and you want nothing more than to be with them and spend time with them and you want to see them happy and never sad, it breaks your heart to see them sad or hurt. and you'll do anything to be with them and you can't imagine life without them


I think the above works very well for romantic love, but as for family love, perhaps not. For my little sister I break myself trying to make her life easier than mine, I try to be a good role model, I do everything I can to help her, and few things hurt as much as seeing her sad, or struggling, etc. As for my parents, I hate them. Absolutely. They did terrible things to us, so I despise them. But in the core of my heart I know that they provided for me, and have helped me along. So I thank them for that, and seeing my mom in the difficult situation she's in, it hurts. But I know I'll never forgive her for what she's done in the past.

Hmm, does this make sense? Haha.
Vahvi 
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28 /❓/ ⚤ / Nearby
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Posted 12/17/17
Love is when you brush your teeth for someone
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21 / M
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Posted 12/17/17

Vahvi wrote:

Love is when you brush your teeth for someone


I thought it was when you brush someone elses teeth.
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F / BuBbLeS!
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Posted 12/17/17
love and family, trust me that will forever be a love/hate relationship (if it's healthy). no one is going to agree with everything and people are going to make mistakes/do something stupid to cause hate, dislike, disappointment and so forth. and this goes both ways. as for healthy, there isn't abuse and that sort of thing. as for an actual relationship which is outside of family, don't rush it, it'll happen. don't fall for the first person and don't fall into the lust department. as for friends, I see a lot of them as pointless and prefer a close net of people that I can trust and rely on, I prefer true friends not fair weathered friends. if you've been around people enough you'll start to see which side they belong to. in my opinion, try a long distance relationship first, if trust isn't there (which it's a hit or miss) then try for a dating site, or "mingle". some still go to parties or crash them. as for some people what they like to do is get a career started before they start a relationship and merely date/casual date and not have a steady relationship.

in the end, if you can't tolerate being around yourself, then it is going to be complicated settling down with one person. get to know yourself, find yourself and then approach things once you've figured out yourself. sounds confusing and possible awkward, but, nothing wrong with having fun and obtaining a steady life before settling down into a situation where you're living paycheck to paycheck or beyond your means.
Vahvi 
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Posted 12/17/17 , edited 12/17/17

Potentsaliva wrote:


Vahvi wrote:

Love is when you brush your teeth for someone


I thought it was when you brush someone elses teeth.


Th... that.... is a very special kind of love
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ᴀᴅʀɪғᴛ
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Posted 12/17/17
First, you need a definition of what love IS.

I don't think you'll find a concrete one.

Don't stress it man.

This society puts way too much emphasis on loving another, when we rarely get to the crux of what's real, which is:

Love yourself.
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M / Australia
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Posted 12/17/17
I dont think i've felt it since i was about 17. Pretty much as others have said, wanting to and looking forward to seeing that person, a feeling of chemistry and just seeing them making you smile, wanting to see them over your friends, etc.
Humms 
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25 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 12/17/17
Ya, I hate how my family functions sometimes, but guess what? Whos going to be the first person to be there when they need you? We are always a little indifferent to our parents, but if you start to forget where you came from, then you forget who you really are. Our parents are people just like you and me, if you have to honestly let go of them, do it for your own reasons.

Look, it just doesn't show up out of nowhere. Love is respect, and it has always been that way.

Just because you say you love someone, that can mean a million different things. People think love is this game in order to prove something to others. Saying I love you to someone is so empty if we never even understand where someone comes from, what they believe or stand by, what someone would do for others.

Just because you made someone laugh, that can all be lies. Look at why we make someone laugh, maybe we love the way they smile, maybe its that body language, maybe its that connection.

Maybe we want to see those people never have to feel upset. Maybe I don't like to see anyone truly sad.

It's different when someone claims to be sad, then I don't even bother with you. It's the people you know would never put that on people, the ones where you care enough to see they are sad, the ones who never look for sympathy, but instead they are the ones who deserve that shoulder to cry on.

I never really loved anyone enough to share a life, and I don't think I ever could without finishing what I started.

I never needed to feel love, all I ask for is that you see me as someone who is capable of love. It doesn't happen over night, and it isn't easy, but I'm sure eventually I can make room. There are billions of people out there, but in reality we only focus on those who mean something to us. We can live life completely separated from the outside world, but that doesn't mean we can lose ourselves.

Those who have never felt love have truly never lived. What is life without connection It is never to late to find out
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28 / M / 'Murica
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Posted 12/17/17 , edited 12/17/17
That's a question with no definite answer. Love is a lazy shortcut word too often used to describe either one or a combination of any number of sometimes conflicting feelings for any length of time with seemingly any level of intensity.

Your situation likely mirrors untold thousands of others, if online forums are any indication. It's remarkably similar to my own, down to the age, lack of "real" friends, lack of "romantic love," and little brother that I'm mostly indifferent towards, but my mother is happily remarried and I rather like them both (the mother and step father, not the original father).

I don't mean to be confrontational, but I recommend ignoring the "love thyself" bull and the "those who haven't loved have never lived" nonsense. Pretty but empty words, all. I've seen the world, experienced plenty, and already lived more than I ever wanted to; this, all without "love" for anything more than vidya games and anime. Live your life however you see fit; you're the one who will be confronted by it and left judging yourself in the end (barring an abrupt unexpected demise).
llunga 
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Mᴇᴡɴɪ
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Posted 12/17/17

Comfortably numb
Kito97 
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19 / Somewhere in your...
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Posted 12/18/17
This is a hard question for everyone to answer so I dont know why you would ask it but okay. Heres my answer if its any use (doubting that you will even read it)

Thats a question that cannot be defined because everyone experiences differnet kindsa love because their expiriences are diffenerent depending on the person.
I would personally say sometimes it can be blunt and stupid
Sometimes you just want to die
Sometimes its great
But if you get through the pain to the finish line you can have happiness for a short time
((a short time got that because Ill get too depressed from your success and my failure ofc)I mean otaku arent really meant to be popular haha))
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22 / M / Canada
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Posted 12/18/17
If you have to ask that question, you won't understand the answer.
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