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Post Reply How do people expect you to make friends IRL
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/27/17 , edited 12/27/17

niotabunny wrote:

I typically find friends over rated to be honest, don't listen to your parents on this, sadly they don't know everything, if you don't want friends don't get them. if you want to find them there's school (if you still attend) or finding close location people on a social media site or something. I have only a few friends and that's plenty, I prefer true friends not fair weather friends. other places you could try is the store, I force a conversation all the time or basically jump into one. I accepted my social awkwardness long ago so it bothers me none whatsoever. people are either going to talk to you or they aren't, it's not that big of a deal. I'm not alone, I have associates that I can call upon and get something done if need be, but otherwise I'm good to go. know and trust yourself before venturing out into the friend department in my opinion.


Same sadly i get bothered all the time getting told to find friends :/
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Posted 12/28/17 , edited 12/28/17

Ryulightorb wrote:

Maybe its just where i live but i go out shopping to the mall and in the streets a lot and generally you can't talk to anyone even if you start up a conversation based on something they are doing because 99% of people won't talk to people that they don't know they will downright refuse to.

Which honestly i keep getting told by my family to make some irl friends but ...how am i expected to.

I hate pubs and will never goto one due to the noise level.
There are no clubs for interests in the areas or meetup groups on websites etc.
Im trying to find a job but no luck.

My only chances are to talk to people whilst at the mall or in the streets but as said people won't talk to strangers.

How am i expected to make friends if people don't want to talk just seems impossible and tiring in the end for no real gain.

Surely im doing something wrong because other people my age have a ton of friends irl then again most of them a friends of friends they made in school where i was a loner.


not sure about you but when I go to a shopping mall I found it really easy to friend people who do things I also do and from there we just went out questin & that you know so yeah just saying errybodies different

maybe it's like people have different ways of socialising perhaps if you join a sporting club you may get over the noise levels in pubs then move onto music gigs and wallah you're fucking this you're popular that you don't even have to try & that's pretty much what happened
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/28/17 , edited 12/28/17

ExiAHesP wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Maybe its just where i live but i go out shopping to the mall and in the streets a lot and generally you can't talk to anyone even if you start up a conversation based on something they are doing because 99% of people won't talk to people that they don't know they will downright refuse to.

Which honestly i keep getting told by my family to make some irl friends but ...how am i expected to.

I hate pubs and will never goto one due to the noise level.
There are no clubs for interests in the areas or meetup groups on websites etc.
Im trying to find a job but no luck.

My only chances are to talk to people whilst at the mall or in the streets but as said people won't talk to strangers.

How am i expected to make friends if people don't want to talk just seems impossible and tiring in the end for no real gain.

Surely im doing something wrong because other people my age have a ton of friends irl then again most of them a friends of friends they made in school where i was a loner.


not sure about you but when I go to a shopping mall I found it really easy to friend people who do things I also do and from there we just went out questin & that you know so yeah just saying errybodies different

maybe it's like people have different ways of socialising perhaps if you join a sporting club you may get over the noise levels in pubs then move onto music gigs and wallah you're fucking this you're popular that you don't even have to try & that's pretty much what happened


Noise levels are due to my Autism sensory issues not something I can get over sadly but I’ll try again with the mall everyone here just seems so reserved and they really dislike strangers I don’t get it maybe I do just need to try a few more times
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25 / M / Perth, Western Au...
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Posted 12/28/17 , edited 12/29/17

Ryulightorb wrote:


ExiAHesP wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Maybe its just where i live but i go out shopping to the mall and in the streets a lot and generally you can't talk to anyone even if you start up a conversation based on something they are doing because 99% of people won't talk to people that they don't know they will downright refuse to.

Which honestly i keep getting told by my family to make some irl friends but ...how am i expected to.

I hate pubs and will never goto one due to the noise level.
There are no clubs for interests in the areas or meetup groups on websites etc.
Im trying to find a job but no luck.

My only chances are to talk to people whilst at the mall or in the streets but as said people won't talk to strangers.

How am i expected to make friends if people don't want to talk just seems impossible and tiring in the end for no real gain.

Surely im doing something wrong because other people my age have a ton of friends irl then again most of them a friends of friends they made in school where i was a loner.


not sure about you but when I go to a shopping mall I found it really easy to friend people who do things I also do and from there we just went out questin & that you know so yeah just saying errybodies different

maybe it's like people have different ways of socialising perhaps if you join a sporting club you may get over the noise levels in pubs then move onto music gigs and wallah you're fucking this you're popular that you don't even have to try & that's pretty much what happened


Noise levels are due to my Autism sensory issues not something I can get over sadly but I’ll try again with the mall everyone here just seems so reserved and they really dislike strangers I don’t get it maybe I do just need to try a few more times


maybe you're just not looking in the right places :')
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Posted 12/28/17 , edited 12/29/17
While I am a very sociable person and like to talk, I honestly don't go looking for people nor approach too much. People don't approach me. I really don't mind being lonely most of the time.

Though, I eventually end up in very sociable things like parties due to my profession of being a party coordinator, and I just talk. Whatever sticks sticks. The probability is that I make one good contact once in a good while. Things just happen if you guys talk and walk around. If you are out there, you will eventually run across into someone pretty decent. I mean I have met a lot of ass people, and I am pretty sure some people think I am an ass person, but that's just life.

Actually, today I just celebrated with my business acquaintance on how we met five years ago and been working together then. Something like that is a blessing. I have another a couple of weeks ago where they took me out to an Italian dinner to just celebrate on being together for about six years. There is another meet up a couple of days ago where we went off-roading of which I made another contact and will teach me how to salsa dance. There are a lot of great people out there. I guess you just have to be out there, and this is coming from a person who is kind of a shut in for a good amount of the week.

For some reason, all these people are a lot older than I am. I think I have some pondering to do. "LAWL"

(Side note. Nothing wrong with being alone. Though, having connections helps, but there is some responsibility into that as well. There is a give and take along with trying to balance some of these things.)
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/28/17 , edited 12/29/17

ExiAHesP wrote:

maybe you're just not looking in the right places :')


I hope that's it, it's a very small town however but maybe there are places i haven't thought of
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/28/17 , edited 12/29/17

zendude wrote:

While I am a very sociable person and like to talk, I honestly don't go looking for people nor approach too much. People don't approach me. I really don't mind being lonely most of the time.

Though, I eventually end up in very sociable things like parties due to my profession of being a party coordinator, and I just talk. Whatever sticks sticks. The probability is that I make one good contact once in a good while. Things just happen if you guys talk and walk around. If you are out there, you will eventually run across into someone pretty decent. I mean I have met a lot of ass people, and I am pretty sure some people think I am an ass person, but that's just life.

Actually, today I just celebrated with my business acquaintance on how we met five years ago and been working together then. Something like that is a blessing. I have another a couple of weeks ago where they took me out to an Italian dinner to just celebrate on being together for about six years. There is another meet up a couple of days ago where we went off-roading of which I made another contact and will teach me how to salsa dance. There are a lot of great people out there. I guess you just have to be out there, and this is coming from a person who is kind of a shut in for a good amount of the week.

For some reason, all these people are a lot older than I am. I think I have some pondering to do. "LAWL"

(Side note. Nothing wrong with being alone. Though, having connections helps, but there is some responsibility into that as well. There is a give and take along with trying to balance some of these things.)


Oh nice i might try getting out even more then usual see if i meet people thanks!
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28 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 12/29/17 , edited 12/29/17
I hope to make more real life friends but it sadly seems like whenever you try to talk to people these days they just look at you like your crazy for saying hi.
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Posted 12/29/17 , edited 12/29/17
school, in your workplace, through family, etc.
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Yo Mama's House
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Posted 12/29/17 , edited 12/29/17

Ryulightorb wrote:

Oh nice i might try getting out even more then usual see if i meet people thanks!


Just take daily walks and smile and say "Hi!" to everyone. Sure people will talk, but you are walking for you and not them.

And small towns are tough. I am lucky to be in a large area where some random "hellos" doesn't really matter.

Good luck dude. Make a game out of it. And have fun. Maybe even make it a goal for the new year.
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Posted 12/29/17 , edited 12/29/17

zendude wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Oh nice i might try getting out even more then usual see if i meet people thanks!


Just take daily walks and smile and say "Hi!" to everyone. Sure people will talk, but you are walking for you and not them.

And small towns are tough. I am lucky to be in a large area where some random "hellos" doesn't really matter.

Good luck dude. Make a game out of it. And have fun. Maybe even make it a goal for the new year.


Thanks and I will do that!
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/29/17 , edited 12/29/17

_gemini_ wrote:

school, in your workplace, through family, etc.


Feared that would be the answer as someone out of schooling and work family friends might be the only answer out of those
Thanks I might start going out with my extended family more on their nights out ^^
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34 / F / Maryland
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Posted 12/30/17 , edited 12/30/17
I've been wondering that for years. Especially as a single anime loving nerd looking for friends that are closer to my age group. Living in the suburbs of western MD, like minds are very rare.
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29 / M / North Texas
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Posted 12/30/17 , edited 12/30/17
I love my comic shop; it's where I've met some awesome people. And since it's a dedicated specialty store there's a lot of fans of manga, DC, Marvel, and gaming. The whole atmosphere really coalesces. Often times, large comic shops will even run RPG events, TCG, and other tabletop games. My comic shop also has events dedicated to comics as well.

Look for a comic book shop.
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27 / M / Leanbox, Gameindu...
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Posted 12/30/17 , edited 12/30/17
So I noticed I started having problems making friends IRL post-undergraduate, now that I am back in graduate school that is no longer a problem.

I agree about the bars thing, I love going out for drinks with my friends at the local bar, but I definitely do not see it as a place to meet people.
Here's the reality, meeting new friends IRL once you are out of school is difficult although not impossible.
You need to join something whether it be a recreational sports league, a comic bookstore card/board game group, volunteer group, church group, whatever. Meeting friends outside of some sort of structured activities or places with people with like minded interest (ideally not the alcohol themed ones ) will give you the highest chance of success.

Best of luck!
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