Here is my plot to my novel and more to come
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/31/17 , edited 12/31/17
This is a story that I am working on and I would like some feedback on the plot.


Title:

Mezraiburg

Summary:



What do you think of it? Does it need some work?
Got any questions? Come here.

No, I did not start the prologue yet because I am trying to figure out how to start it.
The story will be posted on both Fictionpress and Wattpad.
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100 / M / Cold side of the...
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Posted 12/31/17 , edited 12/31/17
What even are these names and I doubt they can return it to its original state unless they have some type of reset power.

Apart from that its not bad.
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Posted 12/31/17 , edited 12/31/17

Guccini wrote:

What even are these names and I doubt they can return it to its original state unless they have some type of reset power.

Apart from that its not bad.



What do you mean by the names? Are they bad?

I've made changes to the plot. So, see about it now.
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25 / M / Perth, Western Au...
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Posted 1/1/18 , edited 1/1/18

Guccini wrote:

What even are these names and I doubt they can return it to its original state unless they have some type of reset power.

Apart from that its not bad.


I agree, the names are overly complicated & you should try to follow a basic rule

kiss

keep
it
simple
stupid

I believe will help you greatly, your book sounds alright, keep working on it & don't get offended when you receive constructive criticism as this will help you when you are trying to grow by taking it onboard, making changes is a part of the route to the success, there is no success without failure
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Posted 1/1/18 , edited 1/1/18

qualeshia3 wrote:


Guccini wrote:

What even are these names and I doubt they can return it to its original state unless they have some type of reset power.

Apart from that its not bad.



What do you mean by the names? Are they bad?

I've made changes to the plot. So, see about it now.


The names are too complicated. Some are good but others will not be remembered. It might make the reader switch off even. Try to research on Roman history for some names and put a little twist to it. I think they have that cool aspect you're looking for. You can borrow different sounding names from the Greeks and the Egyptians when introducing characters from different countries. If you go as far as figuring out the meaning of those names then it might satisfy the detail aspect to your story. Maybe also have a map and figure out what the countries look like if you haven't already. Look at how the creator of Game of Thrones kept his map similar to real life in some shape or form. You can steal his ideas to enhance yours.

That's just my suggestions though.

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Posted 1/1/18 , edited 1/1/18

Guccini wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


Guccini wrote:

What even are these names and I doubt they can return it to its original state unless they have some type of reset power.

Apart from that its not bad.



What do you mean by the names? Are they bad?

I've made changes to the plot. So, see about it now.


The names are too complicated. Some are good but others will not be remembered. It might make the reader switch off even. Try to research on Roman history for some names and put a little twist to it. I think they have that cool aspect you're looking for. You can borrow different sounding names from the Greeks and the Egyptians when introducing characters from different countries. If you go as far as figuring out the meaning of those names then it might satisfy the detail aspect to your story. Maybe also have a map and figure out what the countries look like if you haven't already. Look at how the creator of Game of Thrones kept his map similar to real life in some shape or form. You can steal his ideas to enhance yours.

That's just my suggestions though.



those are good suggestions dude
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 1/1/18 , edited 1/1/18

Guccini wrote:

The names are too complicated. Some are good but others will not be remembered. It might make the reader switch off even. Try to research on Roman history for some names and put a little twist to it. I think they have that cool aspect you're looking for. You can borrow different sounding names from the Greeks and the Egyptians when introducing characters from different countries. If you go as far as figuring out the meaning of those names then it might satisfy the detail aspect to your story. Maybe also have a map and figure out what the countries look like if you haven't already. Look at how the creator of Game of Thrones kept his map similar to real life in some shape or form. You can steal his ideas to enhance yours.

That's just my suggestions though.





It didn't want the names to be too common and I hate some common names

I try to make up my own name since they live in a made-up world that isn't earth.


Sorry that you find them complicated. Thanks for suggesting Roman, Greek, and Egyptian name but there are only so much of planet earth I can take.


Which names did you find complicated and which ones you didn't?
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Posted 1/1/18 , edited 1/1/18

ExiAHesP wrote:


Guccini wrote:

What even are these names and I doubt they can return it to its original state unless they have some type of reset power.

Apart from that its not bad.


I agree, the names are overly complicated & you should try to follow a basic rule

kiss

keep
it
simple
stupid

I believe will help you greatly, your book sounds alright, keep working on it & don't get offended when you receive constructive criticism as this will help you when you are trying to grow by taking it onboard, making changes is a part of the route to the success, there is no success without failure



I'll be making more changes to the plot so it can more sense.
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Posted 1/1/18 , edited 1/1/18
Well, even a made up world requires a degree of familiarity. It's up to you. I don't think it matters which names are too complicating anymore because we're not thinking of the same way of seeing why it's complicating.
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Posted 1/1/18 , edited 1/1/18

Guccini wrote:

Well, even a made up world requires a degree of familiarity. It's up to you. I don't think it matters which names are too complicating anymore because we're not thinking of the same way of seeing why it's complicating.



Sorry.

*sigh* I am not happy with this story and it bothers me greatly.


I'm going back to my older plots and giving it a twist. I can't with this story.

My apologies for wasting your time.
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