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Post Reply A very awkward request
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Posted 7 days ago , edited 3 days ago
I want a GF.
So, first, any tips on not being a complete socially awkward introvert?
Or, second (the really awkward part), anyone want to fulfill the request? Or maybe just talk?

Now, let me explain, because this didn’t just come out of nowhere; I’m not Fred (no offense to Fred)
Long story short
Nihilism --> I want a GF

Long story longer
So I did some serious soul searching last night and realized shit sucks. So then I asked “how do I make it not suck.” And to make it not suck and I need to personally not make it suck. Ok, but how? Well, my animal instincts and probably some of the loneliness kicked in said “how about a family.” And I was like, ok, that’s a good idea, but we’re going to need to back it up a bit first. Let’s start by getting a girlfriend.

Now, why no dating site or App? Because fuck’em, that’s why; just don’t seem like the best avenue for me right now. Not that this is either, but this seems a better avenue because it’s more the right community, you know? And because, like, I’m asking, but the idea of just jumping from strangers to in a relationship is weird; just talking seems like a better point. Though the transition from jut talking to literally anything more is the part I suck at the most

So anyway, yeah, real awkward starting point. It is what is. I’m not a very subtle person when it actually comes to doing what I want to do.
Qualifications available upon request

Now I’m going to go play some basketball for the first time in years, eat, and come back to see how bad this idea probably turned out.



Really glad I save that picture now

EDIT:
For the record this discussion has shifted in several different directions.
It's all actually quite interesting.
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Posted 7 days ago
A girl isn't going to make your life suck any less, trust me.
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Posted 7 days ago

HateKillingCamels wrote:

A girl isn't going to make your life suck any less, trust me.


Perhaps, but a gf just might give him the S U C C worth bearing.
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Posted 7 days ago

Potentsaliva wrote:

Perhaps, but a gf just might give him the S U C C worth bearing.


In which case a prostitute is way less hassle.
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Posted 7 days ago

HateKillingCamels wrote:


Potentsaliva wrote:

Perhaps, but a gf just might give him the S U C C worth bearing.


In which case a prostitute is way less hassle.


The joke aside I think what I said has double meaning. I think life will always suck no matter what, but that sometimes there are things that suck that are worth the effort.
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Posted 7 days ago
Hellooooooo, ischu name Braaaahd? Me love you long for the greenback :o


Posted 7 days ago
I hope you're joking
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Posted 7 days ago
If you are after the "I wanna be loved and love something/someone else" feeling get a kitten/puppy or both of your own (not rely on family paying for its required things/feeding/walking/picking up its poop it's all 100% you.) is the way to go.
You will love them and they will love you. They wont care if you are unhappy over any insignificant things. If you get that special animal they may go and do silly things to cheer you up. Just don't hurt them out of any frustration.

Also if you are out walking a puppy people will ask you about said puppy.
'What a cute puppy what's it name? Can I pat it? it's just like my dog...'
So if you are the type of person who only talks when spoken to like well all introverts you may get a few friends out of it. It's a topic of conversation and a easy one at that.
You will end up with more confidence after you have had it for a few years.


HateKillingCamels wrote:

A girl isn't going to make your life suck any less, trust me.


^ This
Going after a partner while complaining about having a sucky life in the hopes of improving it sorry incorrect. Also you open yourself up to a whole heap of bad things. Being Used as a cash machine. Having a completely miserable relationship for the sake of having one is not worth it.
So that is a massive nope from me this is from someone with experience.

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Posted 7 days ago

penguincat wrote:

If you are after the "I wanna be loved and love something/someone else" feeling get a kitten/puppy or both of your own (not rely on family paying for its required things/feeding/walking/picking up its poop it's all 100% you.) is the way to go.
You will love them and they will love you. They wont care if you are unhappy over any insignificant things. If you get that special animal they may go and do silly things to cheer you up. Just don't hurt them out of any frustration.

Also if you are out walking a puppy people will ask you about said puppy.
'What a cute puppy what's it name? Can I pat it? it's just like my dog...'
So if you are the type of person who only talks when spoken to like well all introverts you may get a few friends out of it. It's a topic of conversation and a easy one at that.
You will end up with more confidence after you have had it for a few years.


HateKillingCamels wrote:

A girl isn't going to make your life suck any less, trust me.


^ This
Going after a partner while complaining about having a sucky life in the hopes of improving it sorry incorrect. Also you open yourself up to a whole heap of bad things. Being Used as a cash machine. Having a completely miserable relationship for the sake of having one is not worth it.
So that is a massive nope from me this is from someone with experience.



I have a cat and a dog at home, but I can't have them while at college.



HateKillingCamels wrote:

A girl isn't going to make your life suck any less, trust me.



And that is understood. It's baby steps, you know? And I'm going to be relatively careful about this, don't worry. It's all part of the plan; this is just one part of reorienting myself.
And that's why I want to start by just opening up and talking in general.
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Posted 7 days ago

zero356 wrote:

I have a cat and a dog at home, but I can't have them while at college.


Any rescue groups/shelters near by? Ask them if you can walk dogs empty litter trays on any days you aren't doing anything on. Same thing as before just in smaller amounts.
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Posted 7 days ago


Hey, so first of all I feel like you need to get involved in new hobbies. Not only will you have the potential of meeting someone with the same interests as you, hobbies also give you things to talk about with other people! A lot of people here are saying having a girlfriend won't change anything, but that's not really true, I think. When you're lonely and craving affection, it is nice to have someone to talk to. But you have to be your own person and have your own interests that make you an interesting person. You have to be able to stand on your own to get into a healthy relationship and be interesting enough to someone that they want something more with you

As for moving on from friendship to the next level, usually the way is some subtle flirting which you have to see if she reciprocrates it or not. You have to feel out what kind of vibes she gives off too when she's with you.
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Posted 7 days ago

kiraralove wrote:



Hey, so first of all I feel like you need to get involved in new hobbies. Not only will you have the potential of meeting someone with the same interests as you, hobbies also give you things to talk about with other people! A lot of people here are saying having a girlfriend won't change anything, but that's not really true, I think. When you're lonely and craving affection, it is nice to have someone to talk to. But you have to be your own person and have your own interests that make you an interesting person. You have to be able to stand on your own to get into a healthy relationship and be interesting enough to someone that they want something more with you

As for moving on from friendship to the next level, usually the way is some subtle flirting which you have to see if she reciprocrates it or not. You have to feel out what kind of vibes she gives off too when she's with you.


But I already have hobbies And not just anime. There's my classes, Martial Arts, Running/Exercise, video-games, and I'm slowly (but surely) learning Japanese. And most of those are still kind of interesting. Even if they weren't, I don't know what I'd do instead; I don't even know where to look for what to do instead.

Ok, so next question, how does one flirt? Honestly, too many mind games for me. Like I said, I'm not a subtle person. It's very binary, either yes or no.
And how do I even know if I want that? Or if they reciprocate? I've always had good control of my emotions and this is the type of thing I've never felt before.
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Posted 7 days ago , edited 7 days ago
Those are pretty cool hobbies! Hmm but are you meeting any girls through them? I'd suggest adding to that list maybe ballroom dancing? (as in like salsa) you might live near a dance studio...a lot of young girls go to those. I used to go there and there were always a lot of girls and sometimes even a shortage of men because a lot of guys don't want to learn to dance, I guess. Dancing is very attractive in a guy though especially if he's good at it. You have to get physically close to girls too and everything. I think it is a pretty nice opportunity to meet people. Sometimes depending on the studio there might even be a get together or meet ups from other studios at social clubs. Just a suggestion.

Well, maybe start with slipping in compliments in conversation naturally? Like on her clothes, her nails, or her makeup. Let her know you noticed the effort she put into her appearance and appreciate it. This may even open up even more conversation for you.

It's easy to know if they reciprocate because they banter back and such, you know what I mean?. She also sometimes gets this look in her eyes like a little sparkle if she's interested. You may not be able to tell immediately but with experience you'll be able to see it.

A key thing you need to have is confidence when you approach a girl, it helps a ton that you're well dressed and smell good. Lock eyes with her often but not in an intense creepy way. In a way that shows that you care about what she's saying and that she has your attention.

When you get her number, do not be clingy. Take some time before responding to her, never respond immediately. Don't start texting her if she doesn't answer you immediately, either (edit: By this I mean, if she takes a long time to respond don't freak out and keep texting her multiple times because she won't respond to as you as fast as you'd like, to clarify). Huge turn off and red flag for girls. Girls like a little push and pull, don't show her you're completely available to her. The chase makes you more enticing.
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Posted 6 days ago
meh relationships are over rated, but if you feel you need to beat that lonely feeling invest in a dog, safer and cheaper. however, if you feel you must experience what you think most people have, then the best bet is (in my opinion) make certain you are aware of things. do you want trash or a person who is independent, or perhaps you want some little "pet". trust me there are several types of females out there all equally awkward or normal, etc.

if you're wanting something serious, best to have some cash flow, a steady income, car, house of some sort (apartment or living with parents). even if you go dutch, dates aren't cheap. as for talking to them, that's when it gets bad in some cases, thanks to all these fluffs who believe men aren't allowed to pick up a girl... have you tried parties, searching on the net in regards to "the hangout" sort of thing, there are coffee shops, malls, stores...

approach with kindness and respect, unless of course she's got a super short skirt on and if she wants twenty might want to back away slowly unless you want that. depending on the area, some females are cool with such things, but it is all based upon your reaction and your "social" standing. a lot of females will date and require you to pay, others will do dutch and not feel they are obligated to "give out" and some will take you for a ride you don't even want to do down. so, in the end, play it cool, if some chick is checking you out, gradually slide over for a meet and greet, just don't make it too awkward or you'll spook her. granted, make certain it is a female, unless that's what you're seeking. the world is insane, be prepared for that, then, after that it's based upon physics. trial and error until the proper path is found. other local haunts to find females are at bars and the likes, not last call or anything, but there are classy ladies or those who are seeking rebound relationships or something. who knows until you "break the ice".

if you're going to get back into sports, there are plenty of chicks who hang out at these places still. unless you're wanting just a hook up like only Tinder can provide, you will find those, but if you're looking for what match and eharmony can produce you'll find those too. best of luck and have some fun, you never know what you're going to find until you start the first stages of conversations. granted, keep in mind, it could take a few tries to talk, let alone get digits and so forth. some women put out on the first date, others make you work for it. life truly is like a box of chocolates...
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Posted 6 days ago
Let me tell you something.

You are young. Time is everything.

You think you want a girlfriend. You think you do, but you don't. It's just your instincts/urges that's getting the better of you


Look I get It, you want someone to talk to and share feelings with. You can do that with any body who is actually willing to listen, it's called a friend

It's a joke man, just have fun. If youre lonely, good luck getting a girlfriend, and if you do; all the power to you , but just make sure you can live with yourself before anybody else, or you will find it difficult to hold someone as a crutch.

Because guys never think about sex, never. We never think about sex same with women, they never think about sex.

Honestly, do you really want to play fucking games with women. I just talk to them like any other person. Do what you will, I don't chase nobody. If youre desperate, find a new hobby, because obviously what you do means nothing to you.
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