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Post Reply Anyone else like me?
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24 / M / Norway
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Posted 4/4/18 , edited 4/4/18
I've been having these thoughts lately that I can't get out of my head, and it steals my focus. These thoughts come from time to time, but usually they go away after a while. I guess you could say I'm lonely?

I go to school where I have school mates to study with, I have a job where I have colleagues to chat with, and I have a family to support me (Not of my own yet, though).

However, I don't have anyone to share my interests and passions with. I''ve spent a great deal of my life playing video games, watching anime and just being a "nerd" in general, but I have always done this alone. I always come home at the end of the day, sit down in my room and play games and watch series alone. I wish I had people I could talk to and share that time with.

Even though I've been online for half my life, I have never befriended anyone. Never found a person that stayed with me long enough to be called a "friend". For instance, I played World of Warcraft for 13 years in which I only ever added one person on my friends list that I met ingame. Our relationship ended up being more of a rivalry than friends though. We would duel and do arena with each other every time we met, but never talked about anything beyond the game. We both stopped playing and haven't talked in years now.

I'm 23 years old, and it's been a few years since I stopped trying to befriend anyone, because it isn't easy for me. A friend for me is someone I can resonate with. If I can see myself in you, I consider you my friend. Does that make sense? I'm not hard to talk to or anything, but I'm the quiet, keep to myself guy unless you really interest me. Most people don't.

I just realized I suck at short explanations, so try this: When I sit in front of the pc, play on my xbox or go about my day I miss having someone to talk to that shares my passions. When I log on somewhere, I want to have friends there waiting for me.
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taxes, ye haw
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Posted 4/4/18 , edited 4/8/18
To answer you main question:

Yes, there are plenty out there like you(and me and lots of people here).

In my perspective, I'm sure there are plenty of people that share your interests either in school or at the job. The thing is, they are "hidden" you could say. Just like you are hidden from them too. What this means is that you maybe need to take a next step if you want to find someone to share those interests with. Be it straight out asking a person you recently met if they like anime or play video games even though it may be a little embarassing or whatever. Or could try going to events, joining a local club in your area. Basically we all are just face down cards waiting for someone to reveal themselves.
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π / Train / Railyard
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Posted 4/4/18 , edited 4/5/18
People are unique, you don't have to look for someone with identical passions. My friends are very different to me, they don't like the same things, but they're willing to talk to me about things I like, even if they don't like the same things. My point is, find people who accept you and whom you can accept, even if you are different. You might discover you like more things, or you might change a bit, be more open.

I'm not saying you should change yourself, just try to be open, you'll be surprised.
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41 / M / NJ
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Posted 4/5/18 , edited 4/5/18
Look for local meetups with people who share your interests. There has to be college folk who are just like you: why not put up a flyer or start a club? You have to put in some effort to get what you want sometimes.
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22 / AH / Helipad
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Posted 4/5/18 , edited 4/5/18
The Discord chats are not my cup of tea, but perhaps you would like Discord. You could try finding a chat (preferably a fairly active one) geared towards some of your interests, such as video games. To begin with, Discord was made for gamers, so you might finds some people you could play with regularly there.

Most people are not willing to put the effort into becoming actual friends, especially online. Don't get too down about it. What will happen will happen and you will eventually find someone who is interested in your company. This means you will probably have to put a bit of effort into finding a place or platform with people who share your interests and maintaining any friendships you form. Even if really you just want a reasonably entertaining person or two to play games with rather than close friends, some effort will be required.
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38 / M / So. Cal
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Posted 4/5/18 , edited 4/5/18
Don't let it get to you. I have friends, but they're all parents now. I know the lines of communication are always open, but I never call because I know they're in the routine of daily parenting. I am like the only person who doesn't have kids in our circle. I say this because having friends can be great but sometimes life can get in the way.
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95
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Posted 4/5/18 , edited 4/5/18
You say you need to meet someone interesting, but you don’t seem too interesting yourself. It takes effort to meet someone and to stay with someone. You need to show interest even if there isn’t any. It’s how you do it at work and in school too, right? Put on a happy face. You’ll eventually find someone to share your interests with.
I suggest you stop trying to find friends online and in games. They won’t be your lifelong friends. Go outside. Find other hobbies. There are more in life than xbox and playstation.

Good luck
Humms 
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25 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 4/5/18 , edited 4/5/18
Why do you think I barely have any friends.

The only person that really gets me is myself. I just live that person people want to hear when I'm around them, but only people older than 40 I can really talk to.

I guess it's just listening to experience, and saying something worth while.

I can't sit down anymore and just talk about life with anyone. Am I interesting? No, and that's just fine with me, I don't need to stand on my head for anyone

I can't talk about drawing with anyone, music, art, because in the end nobody really cares, they just want to laugh, and I don't think I can do that everyday, my life is just too simple. I want to sit on a boat out on the water, or go hiking and see nature.

Oh well, like I said, I get me and that's enough for now
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28 / M / The throne of Dar...
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Posted 4/5/18 , edited 4/5/18


You know what buddy? If you have a League of Legends account (either EUW or NA), then I am willing to start our new friendship as a gameship (making up words is not just for teachers you know).

And if you don't have or willing to get a League account, then just know that I tried.
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22 / F
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Posted 4/5/18 , edited 4/6/18
You can join my discord if you'd like I'll send you the link if you're interested.
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28 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 4/6/18 , edited 4/7/18
I feel the same way. As if im sort of unique creature that is different from the others around me. My interests are strange and unusual and it's quite hard to find someone of unique passions, even on such a diversified plane such as the internet.
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44 / M / my room
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Posted 4/7/18 , edited 4/7/18
hey! you're not alone, and from someone with experience in this, don't bottle it up and keep it in your cupboard for years.( i tried and it's not working believe me.) I know it can be hard to do, but, to get help one must first seek it. have you tried joining discussion group? or group therapy? those could be good for you right now.

Best of luck to you my friend
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24 / M / Norway
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Posted 4/8/18 , edited 4/8/18

ggarzar wrote:

To answer you main question:

Yes, there are plenty out there like you(and me and lots of people here).

In my perspective, I'm sure there are plenty of people that share your interests either in school or at the job. The thing is, they are "hidden" you could say. Just like you are hidden from them too. What this means is that you maybe need to take a next step if you want to find someone to share those interests with. Be it straight out asking a person you recently met if they like anime or play video games even though it may be a little embarassing or whatever. Or could try going to events, joining a local club in your area. Basically we all are just face down cards waiting for someone to reveal themselves. :)


Sorry for the late reply. I didn't actually think I would get much response here, but then the first response ended up hitting the nail I think.

What you say is true. I realize this even though I had to be reminded of it I don't look like a guy who enjoys these kinds of things, if you think of the stereotypical geek, so that probably doesn't help. Finding likeminded people in real life is considerably harder than online, I would say. Still, I struggle online as well.

Just talking to strangers happens all the time, but it's just to convey a message, ask for help or give it. Then we carry on and probably never speak again.

This might sound a little selfish, but I want to find a person who looks to me and thinks "I want to get to know that guy", which I think has never happend. I always feel like I have to initiate if I want to have a conversation, or spend time with someone. If I end up initiating every time, then is that person really interested in me? I don't think so. So I don't bother with people who don't attempt to initiate anything back.

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24 / M / Norway
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Posted 4/8/18 , edited 4/8/18

Shipwright wrote:

The Discord chats are not my cup of tea, but perhaps you would like Discord. You could try finding a chat (preferably a fairly active one) geared towards some of your interests, such as video games. To begin with, Discord was made for gamers, so you might finds some people you could play with regularly there.

Most people are not willing to put the effort into becoming actual friends, especially online. Don't get too down about it. What will happen will happen and you will eventually find someone who is interested in your company. This means you will probably have to put a bit of effort into finding a place or platform with people who share your interests and maintaining any friendships you form. Even if really you just want a reasonably entertaining person or two to play games with rather than close friends, some effort will be required.


I did join a few Discord groups with the intention of finding someone, but I ended up just lurking. There are always people there who can talk about random stuff, and I feel awkward to join in so I just observe instead. It may be it is as easy as asking "Does anyone want to...?" but, I don't think I am entirely comfortable with that. I enjoy leaving my comfort zone as long as I am alone, but involving other people makes me nervous.

Having a little self-reflection moment here. I tend to not understand what to do sometimes unless I get my thoughts out first.
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21 / F / US
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Posted 4/8/18 , edited 4/8/18
no i dont like you
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