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Post Reply Does the friend-zone exist?
A-Poc 
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23 / M / Ontario
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/9/18
As the poll question states, do you believe the friend-zone exists?
Why or why not?

If yes, why do you feel women/men "friend-zone" you?
If no, explain why you feel it does not exist.
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27 / F / Florida
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/9/18
I bro-zoned this guy once. Told him he was like my brother and he never got over it, lmfao. Bro-zone is like the friend zone but its where you see your guy friend as being like your brother, haha.
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F / BuBbLeS!
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/9/18
one can take the friendship zone further, and most relationships should start out as friends, but it does exist. I tend to connect better with guys than girls. I have but one girl friend and she's my mom, the others are all guys.
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π / Train / Railyard
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/15/18
It's a thing made up by people who can't get the partner they think they deserve and are avoiding to blame themselves instead of admitting their faults and trying to learn from their mistakes.
Vahvi 
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28 /❓/ ⚤ / Nearby
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/9/18
My problem is most often they don't. They usually just become increasingly interested and clingy
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29 / M / Michigan
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/9/18
The friend zone can be tough. way I saw it the two times I was in the situation was I can either keep trying from the friend zone. or embrace the friendzone and move on. both times i moved on rather quickly and the "friendships" faded. both girls also quickly picked up another person to friendzone while they dated jerks. some girls are just like that and in my opinion its best to move on once you hit the friendzone wall. if you stay you may be lucky and get out but most likely you will waste a bunch of your time looking for the approval of a partner that is ultimately uninterested. it sucks and girls know they do it and some like to do it. when you do move on its best to not even acknowledge that your moving on. just move on and if you stay friends thats great. if not its also not the end of the world. for everyone sitting in the friendzone trying to move up to a relationship there is a partner waiting for them somewhere. you miss 100% of the shots you don't take and while you sit in the friendzone you could miss the shot at the one that matters.
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31 / M / Sacramento, CA
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/9/18
I've been on both sides of the friend-zone before. I spent three or four years pining for a girl who was never really interested in me, doing favors for her, giving her rides whenever she called, the works. In the end I realized it just wasn't going to happen and that she was basically using me all this time so I had to let her go.

Years later I met these two other girls, one who I was really infatuated with but with whom I didn't think I had a chance, and another girl who I could tell really liked me and who I thought was really cool too. I went out with the second girl a few times (just drinks, nothing else happened) and really enjoyed our time together. She was smart, pretty, easy to talk to, but I just wasn't into her like I was the first girl. Then I found out the first girl actually DID like me and we started dating almost immediately. I still liked the second girl though, but knew we would probably never be more than just friends. I remember how I felt when I got friend-zoned though, and I didn't want to do the same thing to her. The first girl who was my gf by then also told me she didn't like the idea of me having female friends or hanging out with other females when she wasn't around (trust issues because of previous boyfriend cheating). So I decided it was best for all of us to cut ties with the other girl completely.

In the end, my relationship with the first girl didn't last too long after the initial passion died down and I was left wondering if I really made the right choice by spurning the other girl's affections. Still, I would have felt like a jerk leading her on.
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27 / F / Florida
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/9/18
If a girl makes it clear that you are in the friend zone and you keep persisting because you hope she'll eventually notice you, save yourself the time and heartache because she won't.

Case: The guy I bro-zoned, he would hang out with me, drive down to see me (even when I told him he didnt have to), hang out with me, smoke blunts with me, we'd go out to dinner, and he swore up and down that he was okay with just being friends. Come to find out, he obviously wasn't and he unfriended me on Facebook. He couldn't even be real with me when I asked why he removed me but kept all of our other friends. So I just figured he got tired of me not returning the favor (because obviously I wasnt interested and didnt see him that way) and just chalked it up to that and moved on. Haven't reached out to him since.

Point: Be Straight up. If you want to keep being friends after being friend-zoned, do it because you genuinely want to be there for the person and be their friend, not because you're hoping to get something out of it eventually. Also he told me that friend-zoning him was something he'd never get over. But this is just my .02 cents.
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22 / M / Prison
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/9/18

theladyoutlaw wrote:

I bro-zoned this guy once. Told him he was like my brother and he never got over it, lmfao. Bro-zone is like the friend zone but its where you see your guy friend as being like your brother, haha.


I'll be your Nii-san!

OT: I don't believe the friendzone quite exists as most thinks it does, nor have I ever found it so helpful to acknowledge it as concept in social relations. My sole exception being those who are already in relationships and otherwise.

My chief concern being that many believe that being a friend and being a lover are distinct, as if being a lover did not encompass the things that make great interpersonal friendships work, and vice versa.

As far as I know, being a lover is being a friend.
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29 / M / Michigan
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/10/18

PeripheralVisionary wrote:



As far as I know, being a lover is being a friend.



the reverse however is not true. being a friend is not being a lover. thus the friend zone exists. but really thats all the power it has. it only exists. Its your choice whether to exist within it or not.
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28 / F / California
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Posted 4/9/18 , edited 4/10/18
I have three best-friends who are guys and one girl. Im super close to my guy friends because they are into anime and i can talk to them about it for hours! (my other female friend doesn't) I have been asked out on "dates" from all three guys and i always say I only see them as friends. So i guess I have friend zoned them.... Though i feel bad when they say "okay just checking" after i reject their advances. Dorks
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26 / M / The wrong side of...
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Posted 4/10/18 , edited 4/10/18
I put a lot in the friend zone
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35 / F / New Jersey
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Posted 4/10/18 , edited 4/15/18
I guess the friend-zone "exists", but I don't understand why people get butthurt over being "put there". Like, oh no, I still have a friend, but now I have to give up the idea of maybe sleeping with them someday. Like, it sucks that you then have to somehow reconcile your romantic feelings for the person but...that isn't the friendzoner's responsibility, you know?
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20 / M / Canada
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Posted 4/10/18 , edited 4/10/18
still does with this girl I work with.
Humms 
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26 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 4/10/18 , edited 4/10/18
That sounds like way too much work.

I know men and women can be friends and all, but the whole friend zone just seems like soo much work.

Haven't experienced it, why would you even put yourself in that situation? That's just so funny to think people go through that I'm pretty sure if I really wanted a woman, you definitely have to understand her first, but not that on your hands and knees nonsense, more of the, what she wants from a man. That's why I think it's funny when men just decide who they feel like being with, I think the woman can be the judge of that half of the way, the man just needs to push that other half when you realize that compromise. Which is where most men end up in the friend zone, because there isn't a clear compromise between eachother. Then they can't accept defeat, like most stubborn men. It's kinda annoying to think about the whole situation. Men, stop being clueless, Women, stop being teases Srsly, just keep doing what you're doing, you're beautiful.


Men and women can be friends. I just wanted to clear that up. I think some women take joy in doing it. Don't lie, and I would hope the man is respectable in keeping a friendship, unless their only childish intention was for another reason.
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