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Relationship help! Advice, please.
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25 / F / Yokohama, Japan
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Posted 2/20/08
Okay, this is the reason I've been aiming for 500 cr points. (Yeah, it's a pathetic reason.) I wanted to ask all you guys on crunchyroll for your opinion, because I don't know what to do.

The situation in one sentence? There's a guy who might possibly like me and I don't know whether I should go out with him or not.

Details . . . well, we've been friends for about three years now; he's been my best and pretty much only friend (I don't know about his side). We get along pretty well, don't usually get into fights, and like each other's company - my classmates say we're like a married couple already. I sometimes suspect he likes me, as in likes me, but he's never come out and said anything, so I'm not sure. The closest I've gotten to confirmation is an invitation to go to the prom with him in May, and his asking whether I would want to go out with him or not.

My answer then - about half a year ago - was a flat no. I didn't want to sacrifice what we had for a possible relationship, and I didn't want things to get more complicated. I also didn't like the fact that it might have been his roundabout indication that he'd like me to ask him out to save him the embarrassment. Other things that make me leery of going out with him . . . well, he's a senior already, and I'm a junior, so he'll be going to college this summer. Add onto that the fact that he apologized for stringing a few girls along over the summer when he dropped out of contact with me and then hid the fact from me for several months . . . I don't know if it'll be a smart idea to commit.

On the other hand - again - there's a part of me that just wants to go all out, go out with him, do things with him that I've never done before, just take the chance and to hell with the consequences. I've never been all-out, ever, so it's sort of tempting to try it.

What do you guys think? Give me advice, please!

P.S. Other people, please go ahead and post up your problems, too . . . I just wanted to make a forum where peopel could ask for advice like this. To moderators; if this is a duplicate, I'm sorry, please lock it.
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26 / M / Somewhere...
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Posted 2/20/08

dreamweaver49 wrote:

Okay, this is the reason I've been aiming for 500 cr points. (Yeah, it's a pathetic reason.) I wanted to ask all you guys on crunchyroll for your opinion, because I don't know what to do.

The situation in one sentence? There's a guy who might possibly like me and I don't know whether I should go out with him or not.

Details . . . well, we've been friends for about three years now; he's been my best and pretty much only friend (I don't know about his side). We get along pretty well, don't usually get into fights, and like each other's company - my classmates say we're like a married couple already. I sometimes suspect he likes me, as in likes me, but he's never come out and said anything, so I'm not sure. The closest I've gotten to confirmation is an invitation to go to the prom with him in May, and his asking whether I would want to go out with him or not.

My answer then - about half a year ago - was a flat no. I didn't want to sacrifice what we had for a possible relationship, and I didn't want things to get more complicated. I also didn't like the fact that it might have been his roundabout indication that he'd like me to ask him out to save him the embarrassment. Other things that make me leery of going out with him . . . well, he's a senior already, and I'm a junior, so he'll be going to college this summer. Add onto that the fact that he apologized for stringing a few girls along over the summer when he dropped out of contact with me and then hid the fact from me for several months . . . I don't know if it'll be a smart idea to commit.

On the other hand - again - there's a part of me that just wants to go all out, go out with him, do things with him that I've never done before, just take the chance and to hell with the consequences. I've never been all-out, ever, so it's sort of tempting to try it.

What do you guys think? Give me advice, please!

P.S. Other people, please go ahead and post up your problems, too . . . I just wanted to make a forum where peopel could ask for advice like this. To moderators; if this is a duplicate, I'm sorry, please lock it.


It IS not easy to decide this... If you truly want to remain friends then don't go but if he just wants you as company then go since it IS his last prom... If you guys really like each other then it will be a happy ending...
Sorry... can't speculate the results of what you're gonna do... too many results...

Not good at relationships though... just thinking on my own opinion..
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29 / M / Canada
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Posted 2/20/08
well ive known some one for 3 years and just last month she confesed that she had feeling for me ... i shared thoughs feeling but i kept them hidden (for personal reasons) its brought me and her ALOT closer and i dont regreat telling her (after she told me though) ... in the end its up to u but thats my story hope it helps
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28 / M / Slovakia
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Posted 2/20/08
I say that you should trust your senses and if you really SENSE (not think) that he likes you ... he probably does it works out for me almost every time ... the last girl was an otaku (or whatever :D) we totally understood each other etc. i somehow SENSED that she likes me and went for it ... eventually the relationship broke up because of my drinkin' problems but that's another story ^^
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28 / F / Glasgow
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Posted 2/20/08

dreamweaver49 wrote:

Okay, this is the reason I've been aiming for 500 cr points. (Yeah, it's a pathetic reason.) I wanted to ask all you guys on crunchyroll for your opinion, because I don't know what to do.

The situation in one sentence? There's a guy who might possibly like me and I don't know whether I should go out with him or not.

Details . . . well, we've been friends for about three years now; he's been my best and pretty much only friend (I don't know about his side). We get along pretty well, don't usually get into fights, and like each other's company - my classmates say we're like a married couple already. I sometimes suspect he likes me, as in likes me, but he's never come out and said anything, so I'm not sure. The closest I've gotten to confirmation is an invitation to go to the prom with him in May, and his asking whether I would want to go out with him or not.

My answer then - about half a year ago - was a flat no. I didn't want to sacrifice what we had for a possible relationship, and I didn't want things to get more complicated. I also didn't like the fact that it might have been his roundabout indication that he'd like me to ask him out to save him the embarrassment. Other things that make me leery of going out with him . . . well, he's a senior already, and I'm a junior, so he'll be going to college this summer. Add onto that the fact that he apologized for stringing a few girls along over the summer when he dropped out of contact with me and then hid the fact from me for several months . . . I don't know if it'll be a smart idea to commit.

On the other hand - again - there's a part of me that just wants to go all out, go out with him, do things with him that I've never done before, just take the chance and to hell with the consequences. I've never been all-out, ever, so it's sort of tempting to try it.

What do you guys think? Give me advice, please!

P.S. Other people, please go ahead and post up your problems, too . . . I just wanted to make a forum where peopel could ask for advice like this. To moderators; if this is a duplicate, I'm sorry, please lock it.


if he loves you and you love him, there isnt a problem anymore... you should take the chance while you still had it. if you really love him, take the risk. you might regret it later.
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77 / M / Florida, US
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Posted 2/20/08
This may be a duplicate but since you're serious about your thread.

Just talk to him about it and go out with him. Yes, there is a good chance your relationship will be over once he goes to college; but I thought about this one day. The average person can live about 80 years. So you have 80 Christmases or 80 New Years Eves. You'll only see the first flowers bloom during spring 80 times. Unless you have deep feelings for someone else and you are romantically interested in your friend, go for it. You never know the great things you'll share and what can come out of it. If your friendship is ruined because of it, your friendship wasn't strong enough (or was meant) to last that long through hardship. I, personally, don't mind being hurt since I expect to suffer while I'm alive. You just do what will make you happy and hope for the best. If you get hurt, you deal with it and move on and keep looking for more happiness. But this is if you really want this relationship. It's probably not worth it if you don't really want it. IF you REALLY do have feelings for him and want a relationship (and just worried about what might happen); no one can guarantee it will turn out well but it's something I would go for since it might end up being one of the few great choices (and memories) in my life. Do you want to pass up on that?
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33 / M / philippines
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Posted 2/20/08
hmm, well for me i think you should take it easy dont rush things and beside your 16 just enjoy hes company wait for him to say what he really feels for you.....
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26 / M / in my mystery world
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Posted 2/20/08
umm ill advise u not to go out with him since u guys r really good friends
once i went out with my besat friend that i had feeling with and it turned out to be a disaster and we are still not even talking to each other
u could try though
life with out risk is boring so just go with it and wat ever the outcome is deal with it
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25 / F / Yokohama, Japan
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Posted 2/20/08
Thanks so much to the five of you so far who've taken the time to answer me. I'm really glad to have any advice, because I can't get it anywhere else.



tobydiah wrote:

This may be a duplicate but since you're serious about your thread.

Just talk to him about it and go out with him. Yes, there is a good chance your relationship will be over once he goes to college; but I thought about this one day. The average person can live about 80 years. So you have 80 Christmases or 80 New Years Eves. You'll only see the first flowers bloom during spring 80 times. Unless you have deep feelings for someone else and you are romantically interested in your friend, go for it. You never know the great things you'll share and what can come out of it. If your friendship is ruined because of it, your friendship wasn't strong enough (or was meant) to last that long through hardship. I, personally, don't mind being hurt since I expect to suffer while I'm alive. You just do what will make you happy and hope for the best. If you get hurt, you deal with it and move on and keep looking for more happiness. But this is if you really want this relationship. It's probably not worth it if you don't really want it. IF you REALLY do have feelings for him and want a relationship (and just worried about what might happen); no one can guarantee it will turn out well but it's something I would go for since it might end up being one of the few great choices (and memories) in my life. Do you want to pass up on that?



I don't think he'd intentionally break it off when he goes to college . . . it'd be more like he'd be well-meaning, but would stop writing. That would hurt more, because that would mean I didn't matter enough to keep his attention, and I don't want to feel that. If he forgets a friend, I can shrug it off - he'll forget a lot of friends - but a girlfriend?

How do people know they're romantically interested in someone? Are there specific signs or something? I'm totally clueless about this whole deal because I was busy being anti-social when other girls were breaking in their boy-catching skills. If I was infatuated and thought I couldn't live without him, I probably wouldn't agonize over this; it's because I can't tell if I'm romantically interested or not because I don't know how it's supposed to feel!

Also, I'm afraid to lose the one good friendship I have. Yeah, he's a guy and a year older than me, but he's also the only person I can trust enough to confide in right now. I don't know what I'm going to do when he leaves, so I've been trying to hold off on making that problem worse when it comes.

I'm also not even sure he wants to go out with me. In my opinion, he shouldn't - he'd be getting a nerdy, short, somewhat overweight girl with a sharp tongue and quick temper for a girlfriend. And he himself said that there were three girls in his grade after him to ask them out: one is a girl who's taller and prettier than me but is also almost as smart; one is a musically-gifted saxophone player who's skinny and would probably look really good in a strapless dress; and the last is a model-slim girl with a small face and delicate features, although she's pretty dumb. All of them are nicer than I am, and presumably have the corresponding better personalities. Wouldn't I be doing him a bad turn by having him be my boyfriend?

I hate doubting . . . otherwise I'd just go for trying to have good memories in the few months we have left together . . .
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24 / M / New York
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Posted 2/20/08
Hmmm...

...If's he's your only friend I think you have more to lose than to gain.

Most of this stuff happens in college I heard so you've got another year or two.
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28 / F / in ur head
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Posted 2/20/08

dreamweaver49 wrote:

Okay, this is the reason I've been aiming for 500 cr points. (Yeah, it's a pathetic reason.) I wanted to ask all you guys on crunchyroll for your opinion, because I don't know what to do.

The situation in one sentence? There's a guy who might possibly like me and I don't know whether I should go out with him or not.

Details . . . well, we've been friends for about three years now; he's been my best and pretty much only friend (I don't know about his side). We get along pretty well, don't usually get into fights, and like each other's company - my classmates say we're like a married couple already. I sometimes suspect he likes me, as in likes me, but he's never come out and said anything, so I'm not sure. The closest I've gotten to confirmation is an invitation to go to the prom with him in May, and his asking whether I would want to go out with him or not.

My answer then - about half a year ago - was a flat no. I didn't want to sacrifice what we had for a possible relationship, and I didn't want things to get more complicated. I also didn't like the fact that it might have been his roundabout indication that he'd like me to ask him out to save him the embarrassment. Other things that make me leery of going out with him . . . well, he's a senior already, and I'm a junior, so he'll be going to college this summer. Add onto that the fact that he apologized for stringing a few girls along over the summer when he dropped out of contact with me and then hid the fact from me for several months . . . I don't know if it'll be a smart idea to commit.

On the other hand - again - there's a part of me that just wants to go all out, go out with him, do things with him that I've never done before, just take the chance and to hell with the consequences. I've never been all-out, ever, so it's sort of tempting to try it.

What do you guys think? Give me advice, please!

P.S. Other people, please go ahead and post up your problems, too . . . I just wanted to make a forum where peopel could ask for advice like this. To moderators; if this is a duplicate, I'm sorry, please lock it.



to me..i would try my best to avoid anything that would jeopardize friendship, but if friendship isnt enough..then why not give it a go.. its basically the same thing if you act like your married already.. its just called differently. Because to be honest if your status as of now are just 'friends' that means you have no claim over him.. meaning he doesnt need to apologize for the 'string of girls' and to say that means that his going out with other people is not an argument for whether or not you should go out with him..coz its not like its a basis for cheating. Youre kidding yourself if you have that much connection and still think your just friends...so i say give it a go... but make new friends just in case LOL
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aceeasi Londra
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Posted 2/20/08
to love and to be loved it's something that requires courage and a little selfishness
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26 / M / Somewhere...
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Posted 2/20/08
Inviting YOU meant that he liked you over the three other girls. If you think that he doesn't deserve then thats just stupid.
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77 / M / Florida, US
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Posted 2/20/08

dreamweaver49 wrote:

"If he forgets a friend, I can shrug it off - he'll forget a lot of friends - but a girlfriend?"

Things may or may not last forever. Friendship as well as romance can change and that's one of the leaps we have to take to experience love. If finding love was that easy where you know you'll never get hurt, it'd be worthless. To earn love and emotionally mature, you have to take these chances and endure any pain you may experience.

How do people know they're romantically interested in someone? Are there specific signs or something?

There are always some possible things that might help but if you're in a close relationship for this long with a friend, it's probably very difficult to find out. There are too many factors dealing with emotions unless you're at a bar or party looking for signs. Didn't you say that he asked you out before and that he asked you to go to prom with him? If he doesn't romantically like you, he definitely cares about you and enjoys your company at least.

Also, I'm afraid to lose the one good friendship I have. Yeah, he's a guy and a year older than me, but he's also the only person I can trust enough to confide in right now. I don't know what I'm going to do when he leaves, so I've been trying to hold off on making that problem worse when it comes.

If he goes off to college and is just a friend, he's still probably going to lose close touch with you when he leaves. It sucks to lose touch with friends or have a relationship end from it being long-distance; but it's something you have to realize. Life isn't perfect. You have to try to make the best of it or you'll just end up making it worse for yourself by not doing what you can. Also, you should go out and connect with more people. Everyone does it so I don't understand why people feel that it's embarrassing to do it. Everybody wants more friends so you should go participate games, conversations, or join in some extracurricular activities. If you have this so called "sharp-tongue" just try to tone it down a bit while still being yourself. I love all of my friends but I'm always wanting more since it gives me more options and lets me experience more interesting things. I really think that to have a healthy relationship, being sociable and having a comfortable amount of friends is important. I rarely see a relationship end well or people getting over a breakup easily without friends to hang out with to deal with and forget about it.

All of them are nicer than I am, and presumably have the corresponding better personalities. Wouldn't I be doing him a bad turn by having him be my boyfriend?
If you like someone, you like someone. Sure looks and personality are factors in being attracted to someone; but beyond that, it should boil down to what your personal tastes and chemistry is. Thinking like the way you do is only going to set you up for more disappointments and anguish in the future. You're putting other people on a pedestal and making limitations for yourself. Granted that he isn't David Beckham, I still don't see how you don't have a chance. And you wouldn't be doing any bad by being his g/f unless you are bad to him or really hurting him.

I've been rejected so many times that it isn't even funny. But I'd do it all over again; although I'd do it a bit smoother. lol. My last relationship was only 3 months long. We both knew it was risky and that it would end up being difficult; yet, we agreed to take a leap of faith and go for it. It was rough and she ended up breaking up with me. Sure, it hurt a lot and was very short-lived. But I would do it all over again and really appreciate that I was a part of her and memories; and these are all memories and experience that you'll cherish (even the painful ones). You can't grow without experiencing all this.

I'm just advising through a forum and don't know you guys. But the main thing should probably be how much you like him. If you really like him, I think it's worth it. I can't guarantee it will turn out well or that he will even return your feelings; but it would be a risk I'd take.
Posted 2/20/08
Well considering he asked you out that tells you he does feel something and if you feel something for him at least give it a chance to see if it would work between you. Good luck figuring out what ur going to do
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