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Relationship help! Advice, please.
Posted 2/20/08
No offence but I don't think you should be asking advise about love when about 90% of the users here don't have a gf/bf. Oh and my opinion is that you should just tell him your feelings and just see how things work out.
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28 / M / MAlaysia..
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Posted 2/20/08
Just follow your own instinct.. If u think of going out wif him.. juz do it.. These opinions are just for your considerations.. However.. you're the one who will decide it.. U're still young.. right.?? Maybe you're considering too much..
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25 / F / Yokohama, Japan
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Posted 2/20/08

tobydiah wrote:

Didn't you say that he asked you out before and that he asked you to go to prom with him?


There was this discussion involving what we wanted to do in the future, which kind of led to whether I wanted to have kids or not - he said he did, I told him straight out that I don't like kids - and that led to him asking whether I would go out with him, hypothetically speaking. (It made sense at the time.)

To me, that's a cowardly way of trying to figure out whether or not he'd be rejected if he asked, so I said I didn't want to go out with him on principle. It's also for all the reasons I said before - insecurity, etc. - but I hate it when he's chicken. He did the same thing with asking me to the prom . . . he tiptoed around the subject for about a year and a half.




tobydiah
Also, you should go out and connect with more people. Everybody wants more friends so you should go participate games, conversations, or join in some extracurricular activities. If you have this so called "sharp-tongue" just try to tone it down a bit while still being yourself.


I do go out - I'm in too many extra-curricular activities, if anything - but I just don't click with anyone. This guy's the only guy in four or so years. I can get along with people, but I don't find very many good friends. And I've been toning down the sharp tongue; apparently it's not enough, because I still have a reputation for being 'cutting' and teachers always warn me to watch what I say because I, quote, can hurt people really easily using words. Plus I don't think I could really trust people . . . I've seen too much of the backstabbing side of human nature to trust easily.



tobydiah

And you wouldn't be doing any bad by being his g/f unless you are bad to him or really hurting him.


I don't know whether I'm bad for him or not . . . I can be pretty sarcastic, and with him I always feel free just to cut loose and be me. I used to be a little more careful, when I wasn't so used to him, so I was more of a nice girl who also listened, but these days I hear myself making snide comments and I just can't stop myself, I hate it and still he doesn't dislike me . . . I think. I hope I'm not just a habit!



tobydiah
I've been rejected so many times that it isn't even funny. But I'd do it all over again. Sure, it hurt a lot and was very short-lived. But I would do it all over again and really appreciate that I was a part of her and memories; and these are all memories and experience that you'll cherish (even the painful ones). You can't grow without experiencing all this.


You sound so strong . . . on this end I'm freaking out! I don't know what to do, and the more time I take, the less I'll have if I actually decide to go out with him. I've had crushes before, too, and I've always lost to prettier girls. If he's got three girls after him, I don't really want to join in the mini-war . . . plus I don't want three upperclassmen as enemies.
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25 / M / The Bay Area
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Posted 2/20/08
go for it
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28 / F / China
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Posted 2/20/08
en ,it's all about urself...u should search the answer in ur inner world ~~
in ur inner world what do u really want ?
u can image how do u feel if u two are just friends or u are more than friends??
Posted 2/20/08
take a chance. isn't he leaving for college anyways? if it doesn't work out, eh, you won't have to see him anymore anyways.
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F / Chicago, IL
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Posted 2/21/08
Sorry but no personal threads please. There is the HELP Thread and multiple relationship advice thread that you may use to discuss. Please use the forum search on the upper right hand corner.

Thanks!
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