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Make it a Good Day!
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35 / F / Monterey, CA
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Posted 7/20/07 , edited 7/20/07
My father used to tell me, before i left the house every morning, Make it a good day!
I would think about that and how i feel i have the ability to change how i feel about the circumstances within a day.

Example:
A person cuts me off while driving.

Option A - I could get mad, flip the person off, and scream and yell.
Option B - Avoid the other driver and go along with my day.

To "make it a good day" I would simply choose option b.

But in reality, i usually use option a.
What to you think?
Can sheer willpower make a day better?
Do you have control over your attitude to change your day?
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23 / F / ...T_T!!
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Posted 7/20/07
it's definitely up to you..if you don't want your day to be ruined, then why do things that you know you'll regret?..it's easy to say but actually hard to do
Posted 7/20/07
Those topics have nothing to do with this lol

Anyways i think i need to change myself before i can simply choose between option A and B and thats kinda difficult... I think it would be the best to choose option B but like im now i would simply be mad all day and than i start irritating people ^-^

So i guess i dont controll my attitude... But i'm trying
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25 / F / UK
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Posted 7/20/07
@bay- I PMed saying you didn't need to put them in anymore.....

I really do think willpower is important in making a good day; the same as perspective. Although sometimes you get stuck in a bad situation and have to accept that, you can normally always see it in a different light.
I like to be positive and think about 'if i didn't get that thing/place; someone else did and is probably very happy' ^-^. That makes bad things alot easier to cope with.
What annoys me is how some people say that my attitude is 'ignorant' and 'childish'. Personally i think it's alot harder to actually be happy about a bad thing and it's less childish than sulking about it ^-^

EDIT- i deleted the links for you ^-^
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23 / Mocha / Internet
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Posted 7/20/07
Ooo Duster sure has good advises from her father!
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28 / Ronald McDonald's...
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Posted 7/20/07
Hmmm, being happy about a bad thing makes no sense really. But apart from that, of course it saves you a lot of nerve to stay cool, rather than getting easily aggrevated or frustrated, but hell no, that's not going to make the shit stop happening, it only determines how much energy you'll spend on trivial peeves. Don't forget, constant frowning will give you wrinkles
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27 / M / US
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Posted 7/20/07
Sure attitude and willpower matter a lot I think.

Make sure to watch that movie where the jewish father and son get captured by the nazi's but he always keeps things upbeat. Forget the title T_T.

This is pretty related to the pessimist/optimist type thing eh? <--realist
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28 / Ronald McDonald's...
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Posted 7/20/07
^"Life is Beautiful", isn't it?
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25 / M / England
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Posted 7/20/07
Personally I think it comes down to who you are. If you're optimistic then things won't bother you so much and you'll see the day as a good one even if really shitty things happened to you. If you're pessimistic then the things that have gone wrong will stick in your mind and overlap the good things.
Posted 7/20/07
^^^ La vita e bella XD
Edit: oww wait ROFL "life is beatyfull" is the translation AHAHh
sorry but my english AND italian both sux
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Posted 7/20/07
Your friend shows you her new dress and asks how you like it, you hate the color but you don't say that instead you say "Nice dress, I really like it!"
These situations where we are compelled to to say/do things that are inconsistent with out true attitudes/beliefs/etc I think are called induced compliances by psychologists. Correct me if I'm wrong please.

There is a theory called theory of cognitive dissonance and it refers to the unpleasant feeling we experience when we notice a conflict or gap between two attitudes we hold or between our attitudes and behavior. It appears that when we experience dissonance we attempt to reduce because well, it's uncomfortable.

For example, we can change our attitudes or behavior so that these are more consistent with each other, ("The color of that dress is not so bad after all") we can obtain new information that supports our attitude or behavior, (after some research you discover your boss' idea makes some sense) engaging in trivialization is also used as a way to conclude that the behaviors and/or attitudes in question are not important (A person cuts me off...so what?)

So basically we can AND change our attitudes because doing so helps reduce cognitive dissonance.
I barely remember this from class. If I made a mistake please point it out. Thanks
Posted 7/20/07
^ thnx that means there's hope for me LOL
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35 / F / Monterey, CA
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Posted 7/20/07
@Mauz

Actually the response i would give my friend woulnd't be nice dress, it would be honest... i'd say the cut of the dress is good, but dear god, what's up with the color?!


Mauz15 said:
we can change our attitudes or behavior so that these are more consistent with each other, ("The color of that dress is not so bad after all") we can obtain new information that supports our attitude or behavior, (after some research you discover your boss' idea makes some sense) engaging in trivialization is also used as a way to conclude that the behaviors and/or attitudes in question are not important (A person cuts me off...so what?)

That's all reletive to the person.
If they find being cut off in traffic important in thier life, (they thought that the car was going to hit them and the thoughts of dealing with insurance companies and having to get the car fixed etc etc) wasn't trivial, then to that person the trivialisation did not exist.
However, if other people view it as a trivial matter, then does that make the first person trivialise it as well?
Or do they simply hold on to the feeling that they discovered about the origional situation.
Another example.
Agoraphobia (sp)
To that person going outside their home is a HUGE thing..
while to you and me, goig outside is a very trivial matter.
Do you understand what i'm trying to say here?
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25 / F / UK
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Posted 7/20/07
I remembered this experiment from when i was learning about Cognitive Dissonance (what mauz was talking about):


In Festinger and Carlsmith's classic 1959 experiment, students were made to perform tedious and meaningless tasks, consisting of turning pegs quarter-turns and, another one, putting spools onto a tray, emptying the tray, refilling it with spools, and so on. Participants rated these tasks very negatively. After a long period of doing this, students were told the experiment was over and they could leave. This is an example of an induced compliance study.

However, the experimenter then asked the subject for a small favor. They were told that a needed research assistant was not able to make it to the experiment, and the participant was asked to fill in and try to persuade another subject (who was actually a confederate) that the dull, boring tasks the subject had just completed were actually interesting and engaging. Some participants were paid $20 for the favor, another group was paid $1, and a control group was not requested to perform the favor.

When asked to rate the peg-turning tasks later, those in the $1 group rated them more positively than those in the $20 group and control group. This was explained by Festinger and Carlsmith as evidence for cognitive dissonance. Experimenters theorized that people experienced dissonance between the conflicting cognitions "I told someone that the task was interesting", and "I actually found it boring". When paid only $1, students were forced to internalize the attitude they were induced to express, because they had no other justification. Those in the $20 condition, it is argued, had an obvious external justification for their behavior. Behavior internalization is only one way to explain the subject's ratings of the task. The research has been extended in later years. It is now believed that there is a conflict between the belief that "I am not a liar", and the recognition that "I lied". Therefore, the truth is brought closer to the lie, so to speak, and the rating of the task goes up.

The researchers further speculated that with only $1, subjects faced insufficient justification and therefore "cognitive dissonance", so when they were asked to lie about the tasks, they sought to relieve this hypothetical stress by changing their attitude. This process allows the subject to genuinely believe that the tasks were enjoyable.

Put simply, the experimenters concluded that many human beings, when persuaded to lie without being given sufficient justification, will carry out the task by convincing themselves of the falsehood, rather than telling a bald lie.

This study has been criticized, on the grounds that being paid twenty dollars may have aroused the suspicion of some participants. In subsequent experiments, two common alternative methods of "inducing dissonance were used". In one, experimenters used counter-attitudinal essay-writing, in which people were paid varying amounts of money (e.g., one or ten dollars) for writing essays expressing opinions contrary to their own. The other method was to ask subjects to rate a number of different objects according to their desirability. The subject is then offered a choice between two objects s/he had rated equally, with the knowledge that choosing any one of the two would mean "missing out" on the possible positive features of the unchosen object, thus inducing dissonance.


I think that it relates to how there are internal conflicts that can cause us to develop a positive attitude ^-^
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Posted 7/20/07
@Duster
You said it, it's all relative to the person, those were stupid examples on the top of my head.
phobias involve other factors.
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