Post Reply [article] Broken Being, But Best in the Hand of God...
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Posted 2/22/08 , edited 2/23/08
(life story)


Grace has discovered that God is a worker of miracles. God can take a life that is broken and seemingly hopeless and change it into something precious and extraordinary. When the Holy Spirit comes into our lives, He can wipe away the things of the past, touch us in a wonderful way and bring healing. This healing can even overcome the very deep wounds caused by an abortion. Grace's life has never been the same since she was filled with the Spirit.

Jesus loves broken vessels

Hi, my name is Grace. I am from a small country named Brunei Darussalam, located on Borneo Island in South-East Asia. I am a Christian who is enjoying my journey through life with Jesus Christ. My goal in life now is to show the broken world out there that there is hope in Jesus Christ who loves broken vessels the best. He knows how to fix broken vessels to make them SPECIAL and EXTRAORDINARY. Once I was feeling broken and hopeless and had a sense of uselessness. Now I know I am truly SPECIAL and EXTRAORDINARY. I have come to a new appreciation of my own uniqueness and beauty because of Jesus who is my God and Creator. Praise and Glory be to God Most High.

Painful wounds

Before I came to accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, I was a broken person emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I was an adopted daughter who was neither loved nor cared for. I have always been a stress reliever for my mother who happened to be the breadwinner, instead of her husband (my father). To make the wounds even more painful, there was an obvious favoritism shown by my mother for her own flesh and blood children. They always received the best while I was only given used items like school bags and clothes. I was also verbally abused until my self-esteem was destroyed. Furthermore, I was deprived of my childhood and teenage life with no school friends, as I had to be back to help at my mother's shop straight after school.

Finding peace in a church

I studied in a mission school. So, at a young age, the Lord's hand was already upon me. I had no school friends, so during recess time I always went inside the serene church and just sat there with my eyes fixed on the cross. It was so peaceful to be in church when compared with home. I could not release my pains to anyone but only to a God whom I couldn't see but simply looking at the cross would give me peace in my heart.

Falling away

I came to know the Lord when I started work. I went to church with a colleague and there I accepted the Lord because I could not wait any longer. However, because of my low self-esteem, I soon fizzled out spiritually. Also I did not know how to make friends, as I had not had any friends since my childhood.

Trapped in a double life

I was unmarried but I went backwards and fell into the sexual sin of having an affair with a married man whose marriage was on the rocks. I needed love and attention so much that I was truly blinded by my partner's empty words of love. No one knew that I was living a double life. If our friends and my partner's wife confronted us about the issue, I always lied to them by saying that we were only friends. I lived this double life for five years from the age of 21 years old.

Turning deaf ears to God's gentle call

I was conscious of what I was doing and guilt was always there in front of me. I kept trying to break off with this man but without success. I needed that touch and body contact so desperately that I kept turning a deaf ear to God's gentle call to quit sinning and go back to Him. I was just like the prodigal son in the Bible who would receive forgiveness from his father after squandering his wealth in wild living.

Being deceived by lies

I became pregnant to this older man when I was 23 years old. I believed him when he said he'd divorce his wife and marry me but it was all lies. It was during this pregnancy that I finally saw that he was irresponsible and weak because he persuaded me to go through an abortion.

Confusion, consequences and the coward's way

I began to think about myself. "How could I look after this child?" I wondered. I did not have my parents' support. I was so scared of the prospect of being all alone out there by myself with a child. I reasoned; "Wouldn't it be unfair of me to bring a child into this world to bear the brunt of my mistake?" Confused by thoughts like these, I decided to go the coward's way and have the abortion.

Abortion - the pain and loss of taking human life

This experience left a very deep wound in me. I know that women especially can relate to the pain of this experience and how truly broken I felt. I had given up two precious parts of myself: first my virginity and now my baby's LIFE. The Bible tells us how precious the unborn child is to God and how He views the taking of this life.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made ... My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139:13-16).

I thought abortion would be a short-term solution to my problems but it was the painful beginning of long-term heartache and regret.

My actions hurt God but He still loved me

I had hurt God so much but I felt I was trapped! Finally, in November 1998, God used one email that completely transformed my whole life. This email reported a Bible prophesy about natural disasters happening in different continents, and that these things must come to pass. The Bible says that, after these things have occurred, the Lord Jesus will come back to earth in glory. The question put by Jesus straight to my heart was, "Grace, what did you do for me?" I was truly frightened by that question because I had not done anything for Jesus and I was still living in sin. I got out of that sin so fast for the fear of God was upon me.

God forgives sins

Praise God; nothing is impossible for Him! His grace and mercy is abundant! I love the following reminder of God's forgiveness and mercy.

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our wrongs into the depths of the sea" (Micah 7:18-19).

Complete transformation and New Life

It was God's perfect timing for me to come home. God led me to a church that was experiencing the move and power of the Holy Spirit. During a prayer meeting, I received a wonderful and powerful touch from the Lord. From this prayer meeting on, the Lord has led me through a process of inner healing. My life has never been the same since I was filled with the Spirit. The Holy Spirit of the Living God in me is LIFE, pure life, FULL OF POWER AND ENERGY.

The fantastic thing about Jesus is that He offers forgiveness no matter what we have done and this forgiveness can be yours in Jesus Christ. All of us have sinned but Jesus died in our place on the cross so we can be forgiven and have eternal life. When we trust in Jesus we are not longer guilty in God's eyes.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 2:9).

"To Jesus who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood ... to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen (Revelation 1:5,6).

Life full of HOPE and JOY and FUN

I want to say thank you to God the Father, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the blessed Holy Spirit for everything. Thank you for giving me such new life full of HOPE and JOY. I am now truly alive spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I am content and full of joy and peace because I know the God who loves me accepts me as I am. I know He loves me because He was prepared to die on the cross to free me from my sins. I am now waiting patiently for God to lead me to the right man, the one He has chosen for me. That will be my best reward from my Heavenly Father.
I will be forever thankful,

He is Calling You!!
"'Come now, let us reason together', says the Lord. 'Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow'" (Isaiah 1:18).

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our wrongs into the depths of the sea" (Micah 7:18-19).

What I experience and have experienced you can also,
All my love,

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Posted 2/22/08 , edited 2/23/08
It's a duplicate? The chunk on top? I edited it away and left the formatted version only. Hope you don't mind.
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