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Post Reply The General Help/Advice Thread
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30 / F / Denver
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Posted 1/24/09 , edited 1/24/09

Kippu wrote:



Tell her to scew off. And the faster she leaves, the better.
You don't need people like her in your life. She's clearly using you, kelle. She sounds like an annoying twat. People change, clearly you guys don't bond as you used to. What's the point of hanging out with someone you don't get along with?
You tried your best to help her out and was sincere.. there's no need for you to feel guilty at all.
It's not like you stopped breathing when she moved to NJ. You'll do fine without her in your life.

Am I invited to your wedding?


Yeah absolutely! If he ever bites the bullet and goes through with it haha
And thanks for the advice. I think you're right.
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Posted 1/24/09

runrunSQUIDY wrote:

Whatever, I have something. I'm 5'0 and 75 lbs, I want to gain weight but it's impossible, I eat around 4 meals a day with 3-5 snacks, I have around 2400-3200 calories a day and I try to have one day of eating 8000 caloriesa week. I've tried weight gain shakes, excercising, not excercising, eating to the extent of feeling sick, not eating to slow down my metabolism and all sorts of BLAHS. People still look at me like I never eat or if I'm a bulimic or something, I'm pretty sick with my body too, I'm an arts student so it's not like I even have to maintain my weight for any reason, I'm always munching away when I'm doing my art projects and recently eating is just wearing me out, I feel so bored and sick trying to gain weight. Should I just give up? I'm scared I'll be so bored of food I'll stop eating and develop anorexia. My body is somewhat similar to Nicole Richie's lowest weight. Thanks


Maybe your metabolism's just too fast. You can probably get something from the doctor to fix it. If they can speed it up, I'm sure they can slow it down :P

Either that or DIY. Skip breakfast and your body will start getting used to slowing down your digestion rate to survive on less energy. Once you've slowed it down, you can go back to eating normally ^_^ (no idea if this works btw, I'm just going by the fact that a lot of anorexic people have crap metabolisms because they don't eat much; it gets harder and harder for them to keep the weight off because their bodies are adjusting to less energy intake)
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Posted 1/24/09
guys are confuse.......and soo gay at times gosh lmao
Posted 1/25/09

DreadDenimPirate wrote:

Alright, this is pretty stupid and I know what you're going to say, but I need encouragement to do what it is you will surely suggest, so here it goes. I went to school with this girl from middle school through high school. We were best friends. Inseperable. Like sisters. Even on school nights we would be over at eachother's houses. We loved eachother very deeply. My senior year I moved away to California and we kindof lost touch. I moved back to Aspen a year later, but she had already moved to Denver for college so we still hardly ever saw eachother (except at anime and sci fi conventions) and when we did see eachother, she seemed distant and standoffish toward me. Eventually I moved to Denver for college as well. I continued trying to contact her and make time to hang out, but she always ended up flaking on me. I heard rumors that she was depressed and all she ever did was play WoW. Years passed, and I went to a party with my new boyfriend (we are engaged now). Lo and behold, there was my friend-she was dating one of my boyfriend's friends. Now we were back in the same circle, but she was never around. Turns out she was cheating on her boyfriend with a guy in NJ that she met on WoW. Another two years passed, never once did she accept my invitations to go out or to parties, and then one day she shows up at the bar I was bartending at. She shows off her new boyfriend from NJ and tells me how much she's going to miss me. She's moving to NJ with her bf, he was flying back that night so she needed a place to stay for a couple days before she left (my couch). We hung out at my bar until I got off, we were both pretty trashed at this point. It was my birthday and we had plans to go out to lunch the next day. I woke up with a raging hangover, and she was not on my couch. Her bags were gone. And that's the last I heard from her for nearly a year. So, time has passed and I have become very close friends with her ex (my boyfriend's friend). We hang out almost every day. So I'm at work about 5 days ago and I get a text message: "Hey I'm moving back to town and I need a place to crash for a week or so". It's her. Of course I accept, I can't say no to this woman, even if she's not the same person I remember. I warn her that I have been hanging out with her ex and he will most likely be around, and she assures me that it's not a problem and she's over it. She says she'll be here the next morning. 3 days later she shows up on my doorstep and unpacks. She complains about the smoke smell on my couch and is rude to my roommate when he comes home in the middle of the night while she's sleeping. The next day she doesn't respond to my texts. Her things are still at my house, so I know she'll be back, but my boyfriend, her ex and I are going to see a concert that night, so there will be no way for her to get in if she doesn't come home soon. I leave a key under the mat and send her a text telling her where to find it. Hours later she texts me back: "Sorry I'm such an inconvenience! I didn't mean to interfere with your social life! I'm sorry I will have my stuff out of your house tomorrow and I'll find someplace else to stay. I got a hotel for tonight". She always does this to me. Puts these brutal guilt trips on me when I'm trying to help her... Flakes out on me when it seems like we're going to reestablish our relationship... It's frustrating.


Wow, that was surprisingly easy to read for such a long text...

So uhm, if this is close to how it actually happens, why do you let her treat you like that and still open your home to her?

Years and years ago I had a friend or two like that, but things change. I wouldn't go that far for any of them today, and I don't really get why it bothers you still? Aren't you like over her?

Especially since it sounds like she's totally indecent. If she'd been cool and acting nice and all, but it sounds like you're there for her, and that's the relationship.

Tell her to get lost really.
Posted 1/25/09

runrunSQUIDY wrote:

Whatever, I have something. I'm 5'0 and 75 lbs, I want to gain weight but it's impossible, I eat around 4 meals a day with 3-5 snacks, I have around 2400-3200 calories a day and I try to have one day of eating 8000 caloriesa week. I've tried weight gain shakes, excercising, not excercising, eating to the extent of feeling sick, not eating to slow down my metabolism and all sorts of BLAHS. People still look at me like I never eat or if I'm a bulimic or something, I'm pretty sick with my body too, I'm an arts student so it's not like I even have to maintain my weight for any reason, I'm always munching away when I'm doing my art projects and recently eating is just wearing me out, I feel so bored and sick trying to gain weight. Should I just give up? I'm scared I'll be so bored of food I'll stop eating and develop anorexia. My body is somewhat similar to Nicole Richie's lowest weight. Thanks


Hey ^_^

First off, speak with your doctor if you didn't already... I guess you have.

Have you ever heard about something called the abcde diet? While it's aiming at increasing muscles while losing fat, I guess it might be something for you.

Basicly the diet is about manipulating with your hormones through eating in order to gain weight.

You start by taking in 5200 calories a day for 10 days (Yea, i know that like eating til you blow up)
Then you take in 2800 calories a day for 10 days
Then 5200 calories for 10 days and so on.

Now, when you eat much you gain both muscles and fat, and during the time you eat little you'll lose both the fat and some of the muscles while maintaining some muscles.

Should you find this interesting, do read and plan carefully before jumping into it and maybe talk with your doctor^

And you know, 3200 cals a day aint really that much, can't you squeeze down some more? >_>

Maybe start lifting iron? ^_^
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31 / F / johor bahru, mala...
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Posted 1/26/09
i like hurricanger red jacket and go-onger black jacket.i like to have both of it.so,if i want to buy it,where website (specially that stuff directly from japan )i can go to make my dream come true?please.i like to buy it.
Posted 1/26/09

appamo wrote:

i got a lot of prob....but.....i forgot


problem solved!^^
Posted 1/26/09
oh I do have a problem..
there are a lot of people gossiping about me,
about everyone thinks I'm gay and now the rumor that I'm a user started..
Both isn't true at all =_=;
what can I do against these rumors? till now I just let them think what they wanted to think, but it's getting worse every day...
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30 / F / Denver
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Posted 1/26/09

Okazu606 wrote:


DreadDenimPirate wrote:

Alright, this is pretty stupid and I know what you're going to say, but I need encouragement to do what it is you will surely suggest, so here it goes. I went to school with this girl from middle school through high school. We were best friends. Inseperable. Like sisters. Even on school nights we would be over at eachother's houses. We loved eachother very deeply. My senior year I moved away to California and we kindof lost touch. I moved back to Aspen a year later, but she had already moved to Denver for college so we still hardly ever saw eachother (except at anime and sci fi conventions) and when we did see eachother, she seemed distant and standoffish toward me. Eventually I moved to Denver for college as well. I continued trying to contact her and make time to hang out, but she always ended up flaking on me. I heard rumors that she was depressed and all she ever did was play WoW. Years passed, and I went to a party with my new boyfriend (we are engaged now). Lo and behold, there was my friend-she was dating one of my boyfriend's friends. Now we were back in the same circle, but she was never around. Turns out she was cheating on her boyfriend with a guy in NJ that she met on WoW. Another two years passed, never once did she accept my invitations to go out or to parties, and then one day she shows up at the bar I was bartending at. She shows off her new boyfriend from NJ and tells me how much she's going to miss me. She's moving to NJ with her bf, he was flying back that night so she needed a place to stay for a couple days before she left (my couch). We hung out at my bar until I got off, we were both pretty trashed at this point. It was my birthday and we had plans to go out to lunch the next day. I woke up with a raging hangover, and she was not on my couch. Her bags were gone. And that's the last I heard from her for nearly a year. So, time has passed and I have become very close friends with her ex (my boyfriend's friend). We hang out almost every day. So I'm at work about 5 days ago and I get a text message: "Hey I'm moving back to town and I need a place to crash for a week or so". It's her. Of course I accept, I can't say no to this woman, even if she's not the same person I remember. I warn her that I have been hanging out with her ex and he will most likely be around, and she assures me that it's not a problem and she's over it. She says she'll be here the next morning. 3 days later she shows up on my doorstep and unpacks. She complains about the smoke smell on my couch and is rude to my roommate when he comes home in the middle of the night while she's sleeping. The next day she doesn't respond to my texts. Her things are still at my house, so I know she'll be back, but my boyfriend, her ex and I are going to see a concert that night, so there will be no way for her to get in if she doesn't come home soon. I leave a key under the mat and send her a text telling her where to find it. Hours later she texts me back: "Sorry I'm such an inconvenience! I didn't mean to interfere with your social life! I'm sorry I will have my stuff out of your house tomorrow and I'll find someplace else to stay. I got a hotel for tonight". She always does this to me. Puts these brutal guilt trips on me when I'm trying to help her... Flakes out on me when it seems like we're going to reestablish our relationship... It's frustrating.


Wow, that was surprisingly easy to read for such a long text...

So uhm, if this is close to how it actually happens, why do you let her treat you like that and still open your home to her?

Years and years ago I had a friend or two like that, but things change. I wouldn't go that far for any of them today, and I don't really get why it bothers you still? Aren't you like over her?

Especially since it sounds like she's totally indecent. If she'd been cool and acting nice and all, but it sounds like you're there for her, and that's the relationship.

Tell her to get lost really.


Thanks for the input. I guess I'm not over her and that's my problem... The best way I could describe it is comparing myself to a jilted lover (though we were never romantically involved). It just hurts because she has other friends that she still hangs out with, it seems like it's just me she's shunning, and I can't for the life of me figure out why!!! I know it's not because of me being friends with her ex because she was weird at me before the fact. I know she blames me for "ruining her life" when we were kids (i.e. giving her beer, etc.). I was never the best example, but I wasn't THAT bad!! We still have everything in common that we used to have, and on the rare occasion that we actually DO hang out, we have a great time. She's just so gun shy, I always have to count my words when I'm around her like I'm walking on glass. I never know what will set her off. In her defense, I did open my home to her, and kindof bailed that night she was trying to make it back, and I feel guilty for that, even though my plans were prior to her resurfacing.
Anyway, I will not try to see her again. If we should run into one another again, I will try not to bend over backwards and make an ass of myself desperately trying to get her to take me back (dear lord I sound so gay... I swear it's not like that). If she grows up, maybe we can be friends again.

Anyway, thanks again.
Posted 1/26/09

DreadDenimPirate wrote:



Thanks for the input. I guess I'm not over her and that's my problem... The best way I could describe it is comparing myself to a jilted lover (though we were never romantically involved). It just hurts because she has other friends that she still hangs out with, it seems like it's just me she's shunning, and I can't for the life of me figure out why!!! I know it's not because of me being friends with her ex because she was weird at me before the fact. I know she blames me for "ruining her life" when we were kids (i.e. giving her beer, etc.). I was never the best example, but I wasn't THAT bad!! We still have everything in common that we used to have, and on the rare occasion that we actually DO hang out, we have a great time. She's just so gun shy, I always have to count my words when I'm around her like I'm walking on glass. I never know what will set her off. In her defense, I did open my home to her, and kindof bailed that night she was trying to make it back, and I feel guilty for that, even though my plans were prior to her resurfacing.
Anyway, I will not try to see her again. If we should run into one another again, I will try not to bend over backwards and make an ass of myself desperately trying to get her to take me back (dear lord I sound so gay... I swear it's not like that). If she grows up, maybe we can be friends again.

Anyway, thanks again.


You know, it's pretty hard (easy) to give advises on the internet and put yourself in others shoes, and now I'm feeling kinda like an idiot for telling you to dump her. It sounds like you really like her and had something special with her (yes, this is gay :p). And perhaps if she had such a significant impact on you, you shouldn't give up on her.. But from what you wrote, it sounds like it's only you who's suffering and that she is pretty much over you.
Then again you wrote she's been depressed, which may be why she's acting wierd. I know form myself that when you're depressed, you kinda lose all the energy or excitement towards other people, and even though you may like them or want to see them, you simply don't have the energy or will to hook up when the date arrives and you end up not going anyways...

I don't know, I'm kinda split here.
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Posted 1/27/09

Okazu606 wrote:



Haha see? I'm really torn as well! Ah, I guess the best thing to do is let it play out naturally and try not to force anything. If it works out, it works out. If not, her loss. :/


Posted 1/27/09

DreadDenimPirate wrote:


Okazu606 wrote:



Haha see? I'm really torn as well! Ah, I guess the best thing to do is let it play out naturally and try not to force anything. If it works out, it works out. If not, her loss. :/




Yea, I was gonna say the exact thing, but then again! Cause on one side, if it's always you pushing on for you to meet, well then that's kinda.... But then on the other hand, if she's terrible at taking the first step you might have to be the one initiating contact so its :S

But well if it was me I'd wait for her to show interest, but then again, I'm not really into people :p

...I suck a little at this I know :p
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Posted 1/27/09

Okazu606 wrote:


DreadDenimPirate wrote:


Okazu606 wrote:



Haha see? I'm really torn as well! Ah, I guess the best thing to do is let it play out naturally and try not to force anything. If it works out, it works out. If not, her loss. :/




Yea, I was gonna say the exact thing, but then again! Cause on one side, if it's always you pushing on for you to meet, well then that's kinda.... But then on the other hand, if she's terrible at taking the first step you might have to be the one initiating contact so its :S

But well if it was me I'd wait for her to show interest, but then again, I'm not really into people :p

...I suck a little at this I know :p


You aren't bad at this. It's nice to have someone to talk to. I have about ten people I hang out with regularly (parties, D&D, Rock Band, karaoke, bars), but they're just party buddies. We aren't close like Annie and I were. I've never had a friend like that, and I KNOW we could be close again if she'd just stop being such a flake!! That's why I'm trying so hard to hang on to her. Also, I don't usually get along with women too well, and none of my guy friends want to talk about this kindof crap, so I am stuck pouring my heart out on the internet again - on CR of all places, LOL.
Posted 1/27/09 , edited 1/27/09

DreadDenimPirate wrote:


Okazu606 wrote:


DreadDenimPirate wrote:


Okazu606 wrote:



Haha see? I'm really torn as well! Ah, I guess the best thing to do is let it play out naturally and try not to force anything. If it works out, it works out. If not, her loss. :/




Yea, I was gonna say the exact thing, but then again! Cause on one side, if it's always you pushing on for you to meet, well then that's kinda.... But then on the other hand, if she's terrible at taking the first step you might have to be the one initiating contact so its :S

But well if it was me I'd wait for her to show interest, but then again, I'm not really into people :p

...I suck a little at this I know :p


You aren't bad at this. It's nice to have someone to talk to. I have about ten people I hang out with regularly (parties, D&D, Rock Band, karaoke, bars), but they're just party buddies. We aren't close like Annie and I were. I've never had a friend like that, and I KNOW we could be close again if she'd just stop being such a flake!! That's why I'm trying so hard to hang on to her. Also, I don't usually get along with women too well, and none of my guy friends want to talk about this kindof crap, so I am stuck pouring my heart out on the internet again - on CR of all places, LOL.


Well I'm just saying.. Read your post and the previous replies and you seemed to be more or less settled with giving up on her^ But I don't think you should really. Of course you can't force her into anything, and you shouldn't be too persistant, but I don't think you should give up if it's like that. Just like... Kinda make notice that you're there if she's interested..

And hey! Internet is a great place for making friends and talking about stuff like this! People ain't wearing masks here or considering their RL image or reputation... Though yeh, CR might not be THE place on the internet though
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Posted 1/27/09
Please help me she set her facebook to single.
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