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Selling a product for fun
Banned
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38 / M / toronto
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Posted 2/27/08
How would you use a sales pitch to get people to buy a product over the phone,internet,email,Office,ect?

Write a sample Script:

4512 cr points
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116 / F / SMILY♥LAND
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Posted 2/27/08
You type in free! And they would believe you? >.<
620 cr points
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77 / M / York, PA, USA
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Posted 2/27/08
If you want to live, buy air today!... or die.

By the way what are we selling?
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37 / F / Fort Meade, MD
Offline
Posted 2/27/08
Item: Sex toys

Script:

Me: Hi, how are you doing today?
Chump: Fine.
Me: Would you like to feel even better?
Chump: What are you selling?
Me: Items which you can stimulate not only your mind but your body as well. Exercise equipment that not only effective, but FUN as well! Would you like to hear more?
Chump: exercise equipment?
Me: Yes, the most interesting exercise equipment! It comes from the oldest form of exercise known to man, however this exercise is not normally thought of as exercise! You can burn up to 400 calories an hour, and NOT EVEN FEEL IT!
Chump: Not feel it?
Me: Exactly! You wouldn't even feel it, because yo'd be having SO MUCH FUN!
Chump: ok so what is this item?
Me: It's the Electric Health Generator! (Source: http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/funstuff/vintage-vibrators)
Chump: what does it do?
Me: It directly and indirectly stimulates autonomic muscles in the lower body!
Chump: How?
Me: It's a long thin short staff that is battery controlled. The motion of it can be controlled by your own hand or the hand of another and the benifits are the same!
Chump: How can the benifits be the same?
Me: The Electric Health Generator if used on another person allows for the person it's being used on to recieve the health benefits as WELL as the user!
Chump: How much is this thing?
Me: Originally it was 59.99, but if you order your Electric Health Generator Right now, i'll cut that in HALF! You'd only pay 29.99!
Chump: 29.99?
Me: ok, you talked me into it, i'll let it go for you... if you don't tell my boss, i'll let you buy it for 10 dollars less, but i need to know since he's not standing here and i can get you the discounted price!
Chump: so how much would that be with shipping?
Me:I'll throw in the shipping if you buy it right now! only 19.99!
Chump: Ok i'll buy it.


This chump just bought a vibrator and had NO idea.
37756 cr points
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27 / アメリカ
Offline
Posted 2/27/08
Did you know that I dont only melt in your hands I melt in your mouth?
2498 cr points
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23 / F / Michigan.
Offline
Posted 2/27/08
picture of a scantily clad(ed?) woman holding the product.

instant success.
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35 / M / Pinsnotch2
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Posted 2/27/08
i'd target the mexicans first thing

i'd be like

eY! essay compras las drogas! es muy bueno essay!!
Ghost
AHTL 
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27 / Norway
Offline
Posted 2/27/08
Not quite related but still:

Workin’ That Tech Support Magic
Tech Support | Austin, TX, USA

(Customer calls in to a call center and states that he can’t connect to his internet. After about 20 minutes of trying to get the customer to troubleshoot, none of which he can manage to do. The rep figures the cable is simply disconnected, but since the customer can’t troubleshoot they come up with a clever way to fix the problem)

Rep : “Sir, can you unplug that big phone cord looking cable from the box with blinking lights and your main computer box and hold both ends in your hands for me?”

Customer : “Yeah, hold on.” *shuffles around* “Well that was easy. Got it.”

Rep : “Ok, what I need you to do is swing one end of that around above your head as hard as you can. Sometimes bad packets get stuck in the end, making it impossible to connect to the internet.”

Customer : “Alright! One second.” *whooshing in the background* “… Ok, done, Now what?”

Rep : “Ok, now plug it back in to the back of the blinking lights box and the main computer box and let me know when you have done that.”

Customer : “Wow! That really worked! Thanks!” *click*
Posted 2/27/08

wolzen wrote:

i'd target the mexicans first thing

i'd be like

eY! essay compras las drogas! es muy bueno essay!!


Wow I find that completely offensive. Did it ever occur to you that not all Mexicans are like that?
Stereotypes piss me off, :[ There are plenty of well educated Mexicans out there.
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35 / M / Pinsnotch2
Offline
Posted 2/27/08

O_oStefferzO-o wrote:


wolzen wrote:

i'd target the mexicans first thing

i'd be like

eY! essay compras las drogas! es muy bueno essay!!


Wow I find that completely offensive. Did it ever occur to you that not all Mexicans are like that?
Stereotypes piss me off, :[ There are plenty of well educated Mexicans out there.




i'm mexican so it ok esse!!



36562 cr points
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27 / F / Corner of No and...
Offline
Posted 2/27/08
Sales pitch: Listen VERY carefully, the phone list that you are on also provides me with your address. In other words, I know where you live. Now, what I'm selling is only $19.99 + shipping should you choose to buy it. Should you choose not to buy it: your house is $134,000 and I'm a pyromaniac.
welook 
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23 / M / havent u noticed...
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Posted 2/27/08
buy it or that red dot on ur head will turn into a hole and bleed
266 cr points
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27 / F / Taipei
Offline
Posted 2/27/08
-picks up item-
Oh, very pretty item, no?
Yes a very pretty item.
You buy it?
No thanks.
No, it's very cheap.
Really? How much?
It's 50 dollars.
-walks away-
Oh wait maam! You see the other stands over there? They sell same thing, and ours the real deal. Theirs is fake and ours is real, and it the same price!
Really ?
Yes, yes.
Alright. I'll buy it.
-walks away with item and looks at bag-
Oh shxt. I just got ripped.
Posted 2/27/08
some people in ebay sell BAPE bags.- - ;;;
Posted 2/27/08
Hmmm
Me: Chocolate get your chocolate
Random person: What kinds?
M: All kinds duh!
RP: How much?
M: $10 and its all yours!
RP: thats a rip off
M: well im not supposed to be doing this but okay fine this WHOLE box of different chocolates just for $5
RP: alright deal
M: thanks and buy some more late =D
*random person opens box to find only one chocolate bar =D and they try to find me but I ran away with my awesome skills :ph34r:*
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