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Loners
485 cr points
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Posted 10/22/08 , edited 10/22/08
I can understand where you're coming from, but the thing I found most interesting from social butterflies I've met is that they feel the exact same way you describe. A buddy of mine has so many people in his life, and he values maybe 1 out of every 50 of his "friends" (yet still calls them his friends /boggle). As you said though, he views most of these people as tools, just for something to do, with little to no enjoyment when he's with them. The most interesting thing about this (from my experience) is, a lot of people actually feel this way. Most just continue with this trend because its a social norm. But I've heard so many people, no matter if they have 100, or 0 friends - that they feel lonely, or their mind feels isolated in deep solitude.

I'm not sure what it is that makes people think this way, but it seems to be rather common. Some ignore it, some don't. Some use it as a scapegoat to criticize other people, who physically are more alone. And because we don't understand each other, and have such different philosophies, we think that everyone is so different... I'm actually shocked when I find out such common feelings tend to be within so many other people. It's actually rather incredible the kinds of things people you would have never thought were a certain way - actually think about particular issues. Of course no two people will ever understand each other 100%, but there are several mutual feelings that still exist in nearly every person.

It's fine that you're able to speak about multiple issues at a time as well - makes for very deep conversation. Oh, and I agree with your end quote too. Maybe it's the reason I've managed to meet so many people who think like I do. ;)

EDIT: Aww damn, the post was too long with quotes. LOL.
1844 cr points
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20 / M / In The Abyss
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Posted 10/22/08
Well seems that we have similar views on this or at least experiences, though I wonder how you figured out so many people thought this way? Cause even if it is easy to tell, everyone would usually lie and say friends are important when you dislike most an prefer others in actuality.
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Posted 10/22/08
Well, I'm not really a "close" friend to a lot of these people, I'm more so more of an acquaintance. When I get into conversations though, I seem to be able to really get into the emotional value of what's being discussed. Kind of like, if you're able to talk to someone without any real emotional attachment and just vent what's going on in your mind. Few people I know think I'm like a Psychiatrist :P~ (Maybe one day I'll be one)

If you say your own issues, another person will acknowledge that they feel the same way. Or sometimes someone will say something that they think they alone are victim of - but you tell them that you have the same issue, you just realize that it's something that a lot of people are going through.

Back on the topic of loners, I actually thought this wasn't true before. I isolated myself and never really had any motive or reason to talk to people - i figured they were too different and that I just couldn't relate to anyone. While there are certain people I can't relate to, you'll eventually find there are a lot of people you can relate to, and are very worth building a relationship with. The value and enjoyment will change depending on how much you really value that relationship. Off onto a tangent - this solitude tends to be the reason why people usually get married. A lot of people I know are 20+, and now that's all they say. Feeling lonely? Get married. :\ I guess it's just an attempt to find a truly deep and meaningful relationship.
Posted 10/22/08
I sometimes feel lonely.. but no, i don't consider myself as a loner.
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23 / M / A place between t...
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Posted 10/22/08
How long have you been a loner?
Meh... I think I've always been alone.

Did you give up on people?
Yes and No. I've given up on my generations youth as they have all become but tools to the media.. But I believe that there is hope that a small group of people can live on and continue to express individuality.

if so, why?
Regardless of what anything will tell you, Humans were not made to create beautiful things or craft elegance. Humans have but one purpose, to cut each other down. It is that reason that I stick to those around me and shelter myself from most harms. I do not date, period. I tend to have bad experiences with "love" and women, and I'm not to interested in men. I do not voice my opinion unless I know my group feels the same way. Many people hate me, I'm okay with that. I have realized that I am not a strong person. People may get kicked off a horse and try it again. I get kicked off the horse, tell the horse to screw off, and then go to sleep. I am weak, but I keep it to myself. If someone sees this in me, I run. If I must fight, I do not do it honorably. I do it in a secluded area, armed with some sort of weapon, and surprise my opponent. Life is not a video game, I'm not going to get an X-Box Achievement for defeating an opponent on equal grounds.

How well does it suit you?
Not well. I feel hollow, and cold. My life is not dear.The only thing that keeps me from suicide is what little pride I have. Quite frankly, I do not want to be a loner, but do to past mistakes, it seems I am condemned to be a melodrama girlfriend-stealing son-of-a-bitch.
Posted 10/23/08 , edited 10/23/08
How long have you been a loner?
when high school started there are times that i cant avoid to be alone..
im not used to it back then..
but when i got into college got used to since im a irregular student..

Did you give up on people?
i gave up on trusting and expecting true friendship from them..
there only few not exceeding 10 whom posses it..

if so, why?
bc ive been a lot of times abadoned by ppl i thought was friend..
im the only one who can help myself..


How well does it suit you?
a couple of friend is just enough..
you dont need more than that..
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Posted 10/25/08
I hate being alone.. I actually like being with people (at most times). I like having fun, being happy. I come off as a quiet, mean bitch when I first meet someone. Though, I'm really just shy.. and I don't take the initiative. I can't trust many people. I only tell people my secrets and troubles if they're a close person to me and if they're willing to listen. I'm only myself with people I know well enough and won't judge me.. because they won't care about what I do or say. They'll accept me no matter what.

I have few friends, but I think it's better this way. I don't care about popularity. I just want trust-worthy, honest, funny, caring friends. That's all I need.

But my friendships are slowly fading right before my eyes. I can't do anything about it. Usually I would think positive, but there really isn't anything I can do.

People only see me as this quiet, pretty girl.. with not many friends.
The way I see it is that I won't be having any friends pretty soon, and eventually I will then become a loner.


Eh.. I can't believe I posted about my personal life on a crunchyroll forum. Oh well.
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29 / M / The Kingdom
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Posted 10/25/08
How long have you been a loner? Ive been (Kind of) a loner since I went to school. Always had friends in my neighbourhood, and 3 close friends and 3 more "outsider" friends in school.

Did you give up on people? Not really but it takes me about 3 months to warm up to people.

If so, why? I dont know why, I think its about effort, Whats the point in trying to be friends if your never gonna be really close.

What do you generally dislike about them? Like I said its about effort and wasting time, Also I see no point in trying to get along with someone I have nothing (Seemingly) in common with.

How well does it suit you? Suits me just fine, Id rather be really "tight" with a small group than have a large group of people in which im vaguely cool with.
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22 / bOx
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Posted 10/27/08
I am a loner sometimes..

But I can't understand myself why I wanted to be alone.

Maybe.. I don't like to chat with the people around me..

TC

^^,
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24 / M / malaysia
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Posted 10/27/08

abel89 wrote:

I'm pretty sure there are many people here with a good amount of friends, and that's cool and all

But I want to learn more about the loners here, and since there are 2 anti gender threads, it only makes sense to have an anti people thread as well.

How long have you been a loner?
Did you give up on people?
if so, why?
What do you generally dislike about them
How well does it suit you?

As a child I had very few friends and the few I had were questionable, I grew up looking white in a black neighborhood in the south, I was quite lonely back then and quite sad and at the time was despeerate for friends, to the point that I'd be overjoyed everytime someone offered to hang out with me, even when they were just using me as something to keep them busy before their real friends arrived and I'd be cast to the side, or lead into a group of kids so they could make fun of me, or worse.....

As I got a little older I became disgusted at what I was, a weak minded sycophant basically, so I quickly realized that people in general were fake and untrustworthy, and that I didn't need or want them hanging around me.

Today, I can say that I have never had a real friend, and that I keep myself guarded and on alert for liars and sluts and potential back stabbers, I trust the intention of a person trying to kill me more then that of a person who walks up to me with a smile on their face, at least then I can counteract those intentions with a proper response easily, as I like to say.......

"you can't get stabbed in the back if there's no one behind you"


i use to be a loner when i was a kid coz my mum don allow me to go out since i have asthma..hehe..but in high school i have many frenz but i was still a loner coz at that time i haven't learn to trust people yet..now that i'm in college ihave tons of frenz and gf but in my heart i'm still a loner...i sumtime don like crowded place so i rather be alone or less than 5 people hanging out...i like quiet places like dark rooms where i can really enjoy being alone..to me being a loner is the best becoz i always do things based on my ability not coz of teamwork..so when i do really well alone i feel proud of it..by being a loner i dun have to think of other person feeling..

talking about a stab in the back..i was stab too much that i couldn't any gurl anymore...even guys i will hate..when i become a loner i feel stronger becoz i can do anything based on my way not other's way since we all think differently...

i didn't think this topic was in the forum but tnx for opening this topic..

Posted 10/28/08
I've always been a loner over the years in a lot of ways, have always enjoyed my own company
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25 / F / Amatsuki
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Posted 10/28/08
well... i agree with the fact that a "loner" still needs to interact with people... ^^ i interact with people everyday since i have a shop and that is one of the requirements! but i like "being alone" more than "being in a crowd". i like quiet places where i can be alone. i did spend more than 24 hours not talking to anyone before, when i was alone at home, no one's home, and i had to cook for myself and cleaned the house by myself~ ^^ i like the loneliness. my parents think i'm an introvert... well, i am not. i am very adaptive to my environments, crowd or no crowd. i also DON'T dislike a lot of sounds... i know that for sure because i often play music very loud and i love concerts. i also have a very open mind and heart and am a good listener. ^^ i have tons of friends, online and offline (real life, i mean!), and i like to make them happy. but still, i love the loneliness! ^^ sometimes i do get mad when people disturb me in my "loneliness"~ ^^;; but i tend to forget my anger in 2 mere minutes... and back to the crowd again. loneliness does have its pro's and con's, don't you think? ^^ yoga is good for your brain and body, so a loneliness is needed by everyone... some people more than others, but needed anyway.
646 cr points
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30 / F / just around that...
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Posted 10/28/08
for me, i think am a loner although i have an attractive personality and, to say so myself, people like bieng friends with me but honestly i loathe having conversation but i do talk alot but like am forced to do so. i dont like people interupting my solitude whatever it might be ( when reading, watching a movie playing sport or listening to smtg. ) at the same time i dont want to be neglected or to be friendless so i force ( and i mean force ) myself to chat with others so that i wont b deserted. when am alone i think of things and it makes become wiser, i wont care about anything but myself although am not selfish at all. i dont know how to describe that feeling but i really like to be left alone to my self...
at the same time am really afraid of bieng a zombie or any kinda wierdo!
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27 / F / unda the Sea
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Posted 12/5/08
I have always been shy and quiet... never had a real friend... at school I only have one classmate who would talk to me, the rest just act as if I'm invisible. Being alone isn't so bad... but it does get really lonely. Now that I am older and have gotten closer to a few people whom are like family and friend, I guess im not really a loner anymore..? but I still like to spend my time alone most of the time... I love to be around people and everthing but most of the time, I guess i need my time alone to re-energized....
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28 / M / Under the Weeping...
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Posted 12/6/08
I'm a loner off and on. I've a great deal of friends/acquaintances, but I get fed up with people as a whole and retreat to my dark hole for an undetermined amount of time until I feel that I'll give people as a whole a chance again.
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