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Loners
2693 cr points
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23 / F / guess where
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Posted 7/7/09
i used to be kind of extroverted before but when i entered high school i started to turn into sort of a loner. i didn't want to be a loner. i was never comfortable being alone but i felt like i had no choice. things happened which caused me to withdraw socially and sometimes when i think about it, i tend to have an urge to blame people. but i know fairly well that the circumstances weren't brought about by them. i know if i hadn't reacted the way i reacted, things would've been different. i could have easily brushed the matter off and continued being the way i normally was but i didn't. so i have retained the introversion even now. kinda sad, i know, and i'm trying real hard to rebound. but it just isn't that easy. last year i thought i was going to finally get over the problem but history keeps on repeating itself and something triggered the trauma again.
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22 / The Devil's Buttc...
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Posted 7/8/09 , edited 7/8/09
I've always been a bit 'on the shy' side, but when I first went to secondary school (it's the equivalent to High School here in the UK) I became even more anti-social. I mean, at first I had quite a lot of friends to begin with but over time they slowly drifted further away, and to be honest they used to annoy me sometimes anyway, when I see what they're like now I think to myself 'why the fuck was I ever friends with that idiot?'. I had literally nothing in common with any of the friends I've had, and most of them used me or just waited until someone 'better' came along. After a few years in secondary school I got used to being on my own and at first I was really upset about being on my own all the time, but then I started to not give a shit anymore, and not even care whether I had anyone friends or not, I mean whats the point in being friends with someone just because you don't have anyone to hang around with? I couldn't give a shit, most people are assholes anyway (from my own experience) so I'd rather be on my own in my own little world away from all them. Sometimes I still wish I could find a friend who was like me and who I could get along with and relate to but that just seems impossible.

Oh well, I'm just glad I've left school now so I don't have to put up with all that shit anymore ...
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25 / F / Pittsburgh
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Posted 7/8/09
I guess I am a loner too, but I don't know wjy. If I could change it, I would.
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26 / M / The centroid of a...
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Posted 7/9/09
There are two kinds of solitude, loneliness and aloneness, and they mean two completely different things.

Loneliness tends to be a state where you desire the company of others but are currently in a situation where you are unable to obtain it. There could be a couple causes for this, such as social disorders that cause other to shy away from you or your finding others' company to be inadequate. A surprising phenomenon is that most people belonging to the first group somehow ends up defining themselves as the second group. Perhaps it's a defense to their own ego or whatnot, it's difficult to say. While in the second group, you begin defining the kind of individuals which you approve of to be in your company, and they tend to all possess some traits of desire for you. They must be smart, beautiful, and dreadfully attracted to you to oblige to your every whim. In other words, you want to be accepted, to be given value by someone whom you have deemed valuable. But let's face it, no smart, beautiful person is going to stand on their head for you, so you find yourself alone and you ego ever growing. You say no one is good enough for me, but in reality, you're the one not good enough for your own fantasies.

Aloneness is a different solitude, it has no attachments, no desires, no cravings. It is not to despise company, but to enjoy solitude. One is able to enjoy solitude for a variety of reasons, but mainly it's an appreciation for all things. People are not the only things who are interesting in this world, you can find wonders in everything around you. So in the case of company, you observe the other individual/s, and you find them attractive or repulsive, but you are not enjoying them, you are enjoying your own observations, so whether they are interesting or repulsive does not matter, you are simply enjoying yourself. Same can be said while alone, you do not enjoy a flower, the skies or the stars, rather you enjoy your own process of perception for them, you enjoy yourself. As such, the outside world has no influence on your happiness, you view all things and find happiness, not in the things but in yourself. And so you are always alone in your mind, possess a clarity of awareness, and you are always happy.
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22 / F / Australia
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Posted 7/9/09
Well I don't know if you would call me a loner but I guess I am. As my parents' jobs require so, we travel alot and I don't really have friends. Just at every country I go, I meet new people and first they're all like really nice to me and we become friends. But after some time, they all start ignoring me and just 1 or 2 of them stay friends with me. After me paying for the movie tickets, buying food, etc.XDD
And you know what, I say "So what". I want to be a loner, it's better. I can do anythign I want without people around me who dont' care about me.
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19
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Posted 7/10/09 , edited 7/10/09
i like being alone sometimes but i'm really funny when i'm with my friends
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20 / F / Philippines
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Posted 7/10/09
I don't know if I'm considered to be a loner. I hang out with others but there are times
that I prefer to be alone... I mean, to reflect on the things of life and all...
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25 / M / NY
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Posted 7/12/09
I'm a loner to an extent, I don't actively go seeking companionship or friends. I live my life, just doing what I normally do..And if someone happens to bump into me or something then awesome I'll make a new friend, but I'm not going to go chasing after them.
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23 / F / guess where
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Posted 7/13/09

excalion wrote:

There are two kinds of solitude, loneliness and aloneness, and they mean two completely different things.

Loneliness tends to be a state where you desire the company of others but are currently in a situation where you are unable to obtain it. There could be a couple causes for this, such as social disorders that cause other to shy away from you or your finding others' company to be inadequate. A surprising phenomenon is that most people belonging to the first group somehow ends up defining themselves as the second group. Perhaps it's a defense to their own ego or whatnot, it's difficult to say. While in the second group, you begin defining the kind of individuals which you approve of to be in your company, and they tend to all possess some traits of desire for you. They must be smart, beautiful, and dreadfully attracted to you to oblige to your every whim. In other words, you want to be accepted, to be given value by someone whom you have deemed valuable. But let's face it, no smart, beautiful person is going to stand on their head for you, so you find yourself alone and you ego ever growing. You say no one is good enough for me, but in reality, you're the one not good enough for your own fantasies.

Aloneness is a different solitude, it has no attachments, no desires, no cravings. It is not to despise company, but to enjoy solitude. One is able to enjoy solitude for a variety of reasons, but mainly it's an appreciation for all things. People are not the only things who are interesting in this world, you can find wonders in everything around you. So in the case of company, you observe the other individual/s, and you find them attractive or repulsive, but you are not enjoying them, you are enjoying your own observations, so whether they are interesting or repulsive does not matter, you are simply enjoying yourself. Same can be said while alone, you do not enjoy a flower, the skies or the stars, rather you enjoy your own process of perception for them, you enjoy yourself. As such, the outside world has no influence on your happiness, you view all things and find happiness, not in the things but in yourself. And so you are always alone in your mind, possess a clarity of awareness, and you are always happy.


Nice insight. Upon reading your post, I suddenly had a paradigm shift.
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27 / M / Hell
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Posted 7/14/09 , edited 7/14/09
people like me but that sucks im good in socializing with others

but deep inside me i want to be loner

deep inside me i tell myself i dont need them

this is my secret if people come to know my true self i know they will hate me i dont want to be a loser hehe
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21 / M
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Posted 7/15/09
back then, I used to have many friends at school and especially have a childhood friend who is basically,my bestfriend. Suddenly, We migrated to another country, I never felt alone in my whole entire life for almost a year now, but it's kinda fun to be a loner in another country, no one cares about you and you can do what ever you like ^^v
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21 / M / underwater with b...
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Posted 7/27/09
i have a good amount of good friends and they are all talkative, although i'm the quiet one among them and i prefer to be alone most of the time. i don't like to think about so many things...can't i get some peace.
Posted 7/27/09 , edited 7/27/09
Never been one and never will be. Most of the time it's just that society doesn't accept them. Few are anti-social. Almost everyone that has been set as an outcast will say that they don't like people, but we should know better.
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F / Never Never Land
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Posted 7/27/09
not really a loner just like to be alone and left to my own thoughts.
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23 / M / Bay Area, California
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Posted 7/28/09
I was pretty much a loner for my senior year in high school, but it wasn't really by choice. It was a pretty ghetto school, I didn't feel I could relate to anyone, plus I the friends I had there had either dropped out or graduated. It was no fun.. I guess I gave up on people there, but my college has already proved to be much better.
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