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Loners
7375 cr points
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25 / M / The World That Wa...
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Posted 6/20/12
I'm generally a loner also, partly from choice, partly from...Well let's just say I have difficulty connecting with people on an emotional level. Don't get me wrong, i have friends, we go drinking, we have laughs, like friends do, but other than that I have very little in common with them or anyone. I am alienated by pretty much everyone around me, it's not like they're trying to alienate me, or even know they are, but it just turned out that way. As a result I've become very closed off and find no-ones company as interesting as my own.

And that chidlers, is my story.
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20 / F / ireland
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Posted 6/20/12 , edited 6/20/12
I'm really shy. I've always found socialising very draining, a few hours can exhaust me, even though I like people I'm with and (I think) they like me, I just want to go home and by alone after awhile. I have a few friends and get on ok with my family so I'm not a total loner.

I'm not one of those 'I hate everybody' types, most people I've met have been pleasant to me and I try my best to be pleasant back. I just don't really share many interests with people and am really bad at coming up with small talk without it sounding really forced. I have a terrible habit of zoning out during conversations.I blush really bad too and that embarrasses the other person as well.

I find it harder to socialise now than before as everyone else goes out drinking and my stomach can't take more than 2 bottles of cider before I feel really ill and being the sober one in a gang of drunks is never fun. Especially in nightclubs where I can't hear anything.

I think I'm to anxious to be liked by everyone and end up isolating myself in case they don't like me when they find out too much about me, so I don't let that happen.

IN SHORT: The problem is with me not being able to connect with people, staying behind a mask of politeness, not with the other people bullying me,decieving me or whatever
Posted 6/21/12 , edited 6/21/12
Loner by choice 90% of the time. I just have a different mentality compared to most people. I don't think i'm anti social though. I love going out to public places, but I'd never make an initiative to talk to anyone. I treasure people I can connect with, I've known all my close friends for years. Never had drama, ever.

I'm not one of those anti establishment loners. I like the world. And I don't hate or even dislike most people, I just like solitude. There was even a point in my life; after High School, where I started doubting myself. Thinking that maybe I tell myself "I'm a loner by choice" as a defense mechanism. So I started going to parties a lot and blah blah blah, yeah, still wasn't my thing. I'd rather stay home with my hobbies.

I would like a real relationship one day though, working on that.
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18 / F / Fortree City, Hoenn
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Posted 6/21/12 , edited 6/21/12
Yes I do appear to be quite cold and I admit I am an introvert. And I do like being alone. But that doesn't mean I am not nice. It is how the way I am.
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23 / M / Guess
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Posted 6/21/12
I cannot think of better company than myself- there is no one who understands me better, or is more appreciative of my gifts, talents, and virtues, than myself. In addition to the pleasantness of my character, and my natural charm, I am a remarkably handsome and intelligent man. I suppose that I am the sort of person with whom I could live for the rest of my life.
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29 / F / USA
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Posted 6/22/12
I'm a loner. I have difficulty connecting to people and holding simple conversations. I prefer to be left alone. I don't bother anyone, so I don't want to be bothered in return.
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19 / M / Somewhere i Belong
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Posted 7/12/12
I`m a loner because i hate people
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M / Philippines
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Posted 7/15/12
im very shy and being with people for a long periods of time makes me paranoid and tired so for the most part im a loner too
Posted 7/19/12

abel89 wrote:

I'm pretty sure there are many people here with a good amount of friends, and that's cool and all

But I want to learn more about the loners here, and since there are 2 anti gender threads, it only makes sense to have an anti people thread as well.

How long have you been a loner?
Did you give up on people?
if so, why?
What do you generally dislike about them
How well does it suit you?

As a child I had very few friends and the few I had were questionable, I grew up looking white in a black neighborhood in the south, I was quite lonely back then and quite sad and at the time was despeerate for friends, to the point that I'd be overjoyed everytime someone offered to hang out with me, even when they were just using me as something to keep them busy before their real friends arrived and I'd be cast to the side, or lead into a group of kids so they could make fun of me, or worse.....

As I got a little older I became disgusted at what I was, a weak minded sycophant basically, so I quickly realized that people in general were fake and untrustworthy, and that I didn't need or want them hanging around me.

Today, I can say that I have never had a real friend, and that I keep myself guarded and on alert for liars and sluts and potential back stabbers, I trust the intention of a person trying to kill me more then that of a person who walks up to me with a smile on their face, at least then I can counteract those intentions with a proper response easily, as I like to say.......

"you can't get stabbed in the back if there's no one behind you"


I'm something of a transitional loner if there is such a thing. I'm a huge homebody so I don't spend a lot of time mingling but when events do happen with me and some friends I'm always the one that initiates them.

To answer your questions:

1. Probably since Sophomore Year in Highschool (again this is sort of on and off depending on how many of my "friends" were available at a given time)

2. Many, many, many times. Just this morning I threw in the towel on peeps in general but a couple acquaintances i just met, really made me second guess finalizing that decision into permanence. I would say i'm def borderline and the vast majority of random strangers outside the door I probably would not go out of my way to meet or get to know if given the chance still.

3. People piss me off 4 out of 5 times. We are prone to just doing STUPID things and it's worn on me. Am I jaded? To a certain degree yes, but it doesn't mean that I have lost HOPE of meeting one or two select people in a range of as many months that aren't completely self absorbed, arrogant, ignorant idiots lost in their facebook or twitter accounts.

4. Most of number 3 answers this though to add some fuel to the fire: I get judged very very easily on general appearance and I'm an emotionally unstable individual to boot. Thus, even though what most would consider as normal first encounter judgments if they sway negatively it really really bothers me. I grew up in a household with an ambivalent/ambiguous emotional parent who was and is, VERY VERY strong and had no qualms about physical violence for pretty much anything they decided to take offense to. And they took offense to abstract things like disappointment and not being perfect. This, I lived with from as far back as the early developmental years when behaviors and moral convictions make the greatest impact on determining who we become later in life. needless to say, i don't deal with my scars well.

5. It doesn't suit me. I really really enjoy the side of me that gets out and feels carefree. It's liberating. Unfortunately, i spend equal amounts of time miserable, lonely and living a catch 22. I dont want to be a loner but short of becoming a horse whisperer I have no one I feel is worthy of my time. I'm as harshly judgemental as the thing I had decided I never wanted to be. Destiny is and always will be inescapable in that respect.

6. (though you didn't list a sixth option i'm adding one): Things I can do to improve-- force myself to get out of the house for one, join social events and activities that I'm at least interested in and see if a kindred spirit comes my way. Then we can hate the planet, together. lol
Posted 8/1/12
How long have you been a loner?
Not too sure, but it became clear after graduating from High School.

Did you give up on people?
Yes and No. I know most if not all people I meet from now on will just end up as acquaintances and never be true friends. But I'm still holding out on the small chance that I can find a friend who I can really connect with.

If so, why?
Because there are not many if any true friends in the world.

What do you generally dislike about them?
How hard it is to just reach out and connect, and the work involved in trying to make friends or such. It's just exhausting.

How well does it suit you?
On and off. There are times i'm glad i'm by myself, but then there are those rare times when I just want to cry out to the world, WHY?, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ALONE?! It's better to keep myself busy than think about those kinds of things.
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24 / F / Toronto, Canada
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Posted 8/1/12
I've always naturally been like that. After seeing how senstive everyone else, and how insenstive and blunt I am, I pretty much automatically distanced my self.

I've always been horrible with people. I have friends, but no one I was really close to. Even my parents, I've never been close to either of them, though my siblings have close relationships. This, however, may stem from me being the eldest. Sometimes, I'll go shopping with my Mom and whatnot, but if I say so myself, it's rather obligatory. There're a ton of silences, and I don't particularly enjoy myself.

But I'm fine with it. I can keep up a relationship if I must, I just can't seem to enjoy doing so.
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28 / M / New York City
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Posted 8/7/12
I used to be one in my teens and early 20s. I grew up in...basically the ghetto, and my school(s) were pretty much a reflection of that. Outside a handful of friends I saw every now and then I really didn't have many to relate to and got ridiculed for my likes (anime, gaming, etc..). I was scared and in doubt for who I was and what I grew up liking, and carried the mindset that everywhere I went would end up the same with people..of course that changed quite recently actually when I went back to school. I learned to confront what made me and display it with confidence -- alongside friends that shared and/or understood whom I was.

It wasn't an easy experience and for some, it is the preferred lifestyle, which I respect...but no matter how much my life changes around i'll never forget the times I kept to myself. Actually, from time to time I try to take a day for just that, myself....some forget that having some "me" time is equally as important once in awhile.
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28 / M / Detroit, Mi
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Posted 10/14/12
same Im a loner yet I get down and out somedays
Posted 10/15/12
I'm naturally a loner. Just learned to go with others..
It's a choice. I didn't want anyone around for so long. I'd rather be alone in a room doing things I wanna do..
Find it comfortable.

It suits me very well.. No regrets of choosing the path.
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23 / F / United States
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Posted 10/16/12
I'm not really sure if I'm a loner, not only does that sound depressing but I do have friends and my solitude is by choice. How to say this...I find it physically and mentally exhausting to spend any amount of time with the majority of people. Not to sound like a cliche anxed teenager from the 90's but people just don't understand me.

For the majority of my high school career I had no friends at school. You know the girl that skips lunch and heads strait for the library? That was me. Maybe it was because my domestic situation at the time but I never made any connections with anyone. I say anyone but that really wasn't true, my freshman year I made friends with a bunch of seniors. Weird I know but I've always been drawn to people older than me. After they left though I really didn't have anyone. I just felt like the entire world cared about shit that didn't matter. I remember siting in history class listening to some girl go on and on about how her mom took her phone away and all I could think was, "That's your priority?!" Things changed a little when my domestic life changed. I made friends, but they were my new guardians work buddies who were a good 20 years older than I was, at school I made no progress. At my junior prom I stayed for five minutes and my senior prom I didn't even attend.

Even now I pretty much keep to myself at school. I mean I have friends but when they call and wanna hang out I usually make an excuse just because. There are a few people though that I like to hang out with. The thing all those people have in common is we can both be doing our own thing in the same room and not talk to each other and they won't be offended. Or we can talk about anything and they won't judge. So maybe I wasn't so much a "loner" by choice in high school but as I've gotten older I've realized that company should be measured by quality and not quantity and I'm more comfortable that way.
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