ray=out Issue No.03 "Ode To The Nice Guys"

Cover By: TheLaughingMan
Article By: Wharton Undergraduate Journal
Cover: Picture of Will Baxter, Dominic Sorel, and Moondoggie.

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she should't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing serious between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: oh, but we're just friends! And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches, but this is not their fault, society makes them that way. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as oh, he's too nice to date or he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out! or the most frustrating of all: no, it would ruin our friendship. Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

well, i don't fall under "nice guys" category. i've pretty much either cheated or taken advantage (not necessarily in a sexual way) of almost every girl i've met (with the exception of my mother and my current girlfriend). i've been doing pretty good with my curent girlfriend though, so that looks like a positive in relationship terms.

I'm a nice guy kind of. I don't really know how nice I am though. The matter is though, most nice guys aren't exactly the most attractive people. They're not hideous, but they're not "hot". I think of myself as a decent looking guy, but there are guys that are WAY better looking than me. Much like a lot of the hot girls are bitches, a lot of the hot guys are assholes. It's just the way it is.

Thankfully, my girlfriend is gorgeous, and nice.

amen

5 / 5... lmao.... i know a "nice-guy" figure in my past life.... lmao...

Nice people give away free money!! $$$$$$$$

i understand the nice guy thing all to well. but most nice guys like me do it because we dont want to see our friends get hurt, even though they are the friends that hurt us the most. i spose you could just ssay we are stuborne. appologies for the spelling.
but on the whole nice guys end up first. we are the ones who through constant practice know how to calm and console almost any woman and in relationships you almost never hear the "you just don't understand" line
so a toast to the nice guys. because a little appreciation is always appreciated

nice speech mate.. cheers!!!! ^_^

Nicely put Golly.

I personally think this world lacks in nice guys, or at least they're never on mass media. All we hear about in our messed up world is about the wrong people being idolized thanks to TV. As I've stated many times with my friends, "oh how far has our world fallen."

you know, i'm sure the world would be a better place if they had etiquette 101 class part of high school. it should be recomended - the way this world is going.

I agree, this world could use some etiquette; all we here about is people treating each other and themselves like crap. I personally would suggest that everyone would take a college philosophy class. It'll help with view the world outside the box and make people think.