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Sex & Love
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Posted 3/6/08

nodysseus wrote:

[...], and one of the things i hear repeated time and again is "you cant choose the one you love" but homosexuality is about sexual attraction, not emotional. I mean: I can be friends with another guy and care about him a lot, but that doesn't mean I want into his pants... [...]

Actually, homosexual person love each others... just wanted to make this clear.
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Well love and sex are 2 very different thing.

Actually, "love" is a relativly new concept while sex is there... well... since almost for ever =P I mean we got to reproduce ourself, right :P

I could totally see myself in love with someone who, for a reason or another (physical handicap. disease, etc... ), could not have sex with me. I woul love him just as much as i would love someone whith who i can have physical contact.

Same goes the others way. I can lust for someone (lets say Johnny Depp... RAWR! hawt! ) and never want to date him (Keanu Reeve may be hot, but he doesnt really look like the kind of person you can have a amazing conversation about politic with... Oh my, what a nice stereotype here)

Lets face it, people dont have sex for "reproduction" purpose. They have sexual intercourse for the pleasure it give them (and for social standing and to fit in, but thats another story) When was the last time you had sex and was thinking OMG IM TOTALLY MAKING BABIES! If you do, well congrats. Most of us dont.

Then from there, people started to see sex as a fun thing to do. Why not? I could go on for pages and pages about how orgasm are good for you. But i will not. That be boring

I'm not gonna lie, in a society based on love, this can cause trouble. There alot of people who come for couple consultation where we notice a big gap between the object of love and the object of desire. It often responsible for a lower sex drive in couples, and also can lead to break up, when on of them love his/her partners still, but desire someone else (can be fictive or real). They mix up the idea of love and desire.

In my way of thinking, having intercourse for fun inst a bad thing. If for you "to make sex" and "to make love" are 2 different things, so be it. if they are the same, then so be it. I respect your point of view... I can understand it. Just understand not everyone think like you. Please respect them too.

Anyway, its late where i am, that prolly dont make any sense. i'll read it again tomorow.
Peace out all.
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Posted 3/6/08

Hylia wrote:


nodysseus wrote:

[...], and one of the things i hear repeated time and again is "you cant choose the one you love" but homosexuality is about sexual attraction, not emotional. I mean: I can be friends with another guy and care about him a lot, but that doesn't mean I want into his pants... [...]

Actually, homosexual person love each others... just wanted to make this clear.


if you mean that they can love each other as one person to another, this i have not disagreed with here, i have no reason to believe that gay people are vacuous emotionless beings. im just asking if it can really be accepted that the sexual attraction can be connected to the feelings of love. and as ive said, i dont think so at all. Frankly, I dont think you can fall in love with someone just by looking at them, but i certainly believe you can want to have sex with them just by looking at them.
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Posted 3/6/08

nodysseus wrote:


Hylia wrote:


nodysseus wrote:

[...], and one of the things i hear repeated time and again is "you cant choose the one you love" but homosexuality is about sexual attraction, not emotional. I mean: I can be friends with another guy and care about him a lot, but that doesn't mean I want into his pants... [...]

Actually, homosexual person love each others... just wanted to make this clear.


if you mean that they can love eachother, this i have not disagreed with here, im just asking if it can really be accepted that the sexual attraction can be connected to the feelings of love. and as ive said, i dont think so at all. Frankly, I dont think you can fall in love with someone just by looking at them, but i certainly believe you can want to have sex with them just by looking at them.


The way you made it sound was like the only way homosexual person would get together was sexual attraction. But often they fall in love first, like heterosexual person, flirt, smile, fall in love and then have sex. They really love each other. I just wanted to make this clear. Thats it.
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Posted 3/6/08

Hylia wrote:


nodysseus wrote:


Hylia wrote:


nodysseus wrote:

[...], and one of the things i hear repeated time and again is "you cant choose the one you love" but homosexuality is about sexual attraction, not emotional. I mean: I can be friends with another guy and care about him a lot, but that doesn't mean I want into his pants... [...]

Actually, homosexual person love each others... just wanted to make this clear.


if you mean that they can love eachother, this i have not disagreed with here, im just asking if it can really be accepted that the sexual attraction can be connected to the feelings of love. and as ive said, i dont think so at all. Frankly, I dont think you can fall in love with someone just by looking at them, but i certainly believe you can want to have sex with them just by looking at them.


The way you made it sound was like the only way homosexual person would get together was sexual attraction. But often they fall in love first, like heterosexual person, flirt, smile, fall in love and then have sex. They really love each other. I just wanted to make this clear. Thats it.


It sounds like you are saying that gay people fall in love with others on the basis of who they are sexually attracted to (otherwise you would have to call them straight in any case...) am i right?
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25 / F / floating....away....
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Posted 3/6/08
as you can see... people consider sex as "making love" wc is really not that. love is something that people now cannot easily express.... sex isnt an expression of love but only a part of it.. when you have sex.. it does not necessarily mean that the person loves you in anyway....

that is the difference of love. love does not = to sex. and there are many kinds of love that is defined by the greeks before.

in our generation today, sex = to love. and this takes away the meaning of marriage.
love is something much more deeper than physical pleasure and that is what people dont understand...
especially the women these days... just small sweet words from a guy and they give in...because she justifies that he loves her and because she loves him back she will have sex with him. what do you think?

it is really superficial..... and to think.. most dont even last for 10 years............ it really is ironic in a way... and i pity those people. having pleasure now but end up with nothing in the end.


nodysseus wrote:


Hylia wrote:


nodysseus wrote:


Hylia wrote:


nodysseus wrote:

[...], and one of the things i hear repeated time and again is "you cant choose the one you love" but homosexuality is about sexual attraction, not emotional. I mean: I can be friends with another guy and care about him a lot, but that doesn't mean I want into his pants... [...]

Actually, homosexual person love each others... just wanted to make this clear.


if you mean that they can love eachother, this i have not disagreed with here, im just asking if it can really be accepted that the sexual attraction can be connected to the feelings of love. and as ive said, i dont think so at all. Frankly, I dont think you can fall in love with someone just by looking at them, but i certainly believe you can want to have sex with them just by looking at them.


The way you made it sound was like the only way homosexual person would get together was sexual attraction. But often they fall in love first, like heterosexual person, flirt, smile, fall in love and then have sex. They really love each other. I just wanted to make this clear. Thats it.


It sounds like you are saying that gay people fall in love with others on the basis of who they are sexually attracted to (otherwise you would have to call them straight in any case...) am i right?


about this... i also want to say that being a homosexual does not necessarily mean that they immediately have sex with that person..... homosexuals are people too... and are capable of loving.... this is what most straight people dont agree on.... they look on homosexuals thinking that they are only after sexual attraction/relation..... true that most people are like this... but so are the straights (heterosexuals).......
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Posted 3/6/08
Sex in love go hand in hand throughout anyone's life, excluding nuns or whatever. But some people make the mistake that sex is love, like thinking they love someone after they have sex with them, or throwing around the love word in high school. I think you shouldn't say I love you in a serious manner until you actually know what love is. But I have slipped up in thinking that I'm in love and realizing I'm not.
You have to learn between saying 'Love ya' to all your friends at school, and saying 'I love you' to a person that you truly have a connection with.
But tying (sp?) homosexuality in the mix? That is a different question entirely. Because I know that homosexuality is at least 70% sexual feelings than love. But then again, straight people think about sex all the time, when you hear really jocky people talk about sex, it makes it seem like their whole live REVOLVES around it. I think that sex is important to ALL people not just Homosexuals. But I think about having sex with someone FAR more than I think about finding someone that I love. Well that's not true but I really would like someone that I could settle down with, but I'm one gay men out of 10% of the world. But I think most gay men do. I think that everyone could be a little bi-sexual if it was a little more open in this country. But most people are afraid, and then there are people who actually can't do it. I mean gay men can fall in love with straight women, and all the other combinations.
But it all ties back to my original statement that love and sex come hand in hand. You have to DECIPHER WHICH IS WHICH.
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25 / M / canada
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Posted 3/6/08
love comes with pain
sex comes with pleasure
take ur pick
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26 / F / cLouD9
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Posted 3/6/08
tsktsk..people nowadays are either mushy (hopeless romantic) or S.P.O (sexually preoccupied)...
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Posted 3/6/08

Fatalomen wrote:

Sex in love go hand in hand throughout anyone's life, excluding nuns or whatever. But some people make the mistake that sex is love, like thinking they love someone after they have sex with them, or throwing around the love word in high school. I think you shouldn't say I love you in a serious manner until you actually know what love is. But I have slipped up in thinking that I'm in love and realizing I'm not.
You have to learn between saying 'Love ya' to all your friends at school, and saying 'I love you' to a person that you truly have a connection with.
But tying (sp?) homosexuality in the mix? That is a different question entirely. Because I know that homosexuality is at least 70% sexual feelings than love. But then again, straight people think about sex all the time, when you hear really jocky people talk about sex, it makes it seem like their whole live REVOLVES around it. I think that sex is important to ALL people not just Homosexuals. But I think about having sex with someone FAR more than I think about finding someone that I love. Well that's not true but I really would like someone that I could settle down with, but I'm one gay men out of 10% of the world. But I think most gay men do. I think that everyone could be a little bi-sexual if it was a little more open in this country. But most people are afraid, and then there are people who actually can't do it. I mean gay men can fall in love with straight women, and all the other combinations.
But it all ties back to my original statement that love and sex come hand in hand. You have to DECIPHER WHICH IS WHICH.


i only mention homosexuality because people claim that they love (which i do not deny) other people, and yet obviously a gay guy is only going to marry another guy (if given the chance anyway). Don't you think that suggests that he could only love someone who he was sexually attracted to? (the same argument an be used for hetero people, but i think this example is easier to understand...)
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25 / F / floating....away....
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Posted 3/6/08

rizzyman wrote:

love comes with pain
sex comes with pleasure
take ur pick


both can run both ways..... sex also comes with pain....

same goes for love. but i know love is a far better choice.
Posted 3/6/08

nodysseus wrote:

I notice a lot of people have debates on homosexuality and if its real and things like that, and one of the things i hear repeated time and again is "you cant choose the one you love" but homosexuality is about sexual attraction, not emotional. I mean: I can be friends with another guy and care about him a lot, but that doesn't mean I want into his pants...


You seem slightly confused. sexuality isn't just about sexual attraction. There's emotional (or "social") attraction and physical (or "sexual") attraction.

I, personally, am a total pansexual. That is to say that I can and have felt sexual and emotional attractions towards men, women, "unattractive" men and women, the "other" sexes (transsexuals, crossdressers, hermaphrodites), and even animals.


So I'm wondering, just what is the connection between love and having sex? I know loads of people who can hook up for a night and then act like it was nothing, so going by that, I tend to feel like sex and love aren't really so closely as people seem to expect, but I'm not sure on this. What do you folks think?


Well, for a pansexual such as myself, sex can be just as much influenced by emotional bonds as it can intense physical attractions.

And by the way, homosexuality is, in my opinion, real from a scientific standpoint. In other words, I believe that if you monitored someone's brain waves and set in front of them pictures of different people, and then during sex, the results would confirm the reality of the situation.

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Posted 3/7/08
Pulease This Is Anime And Manga Station Plz Post Something Related =X Jokin Jokin Well i Guess This Is Quite Common Already
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41 / M / Malaysia
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Posted 3/7/08
for mens sex is nothing but for girls sex is something
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24 / M / Under the sky
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Posted 3/7/08

nodysseus wrote:


ijaijao wrote:

love does not exist
sex is all


is there a why in there somewhere?


because all women are bitches
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Posted 3/8/08

Draykid wrote:


nodysseus wrote:

I notice a lot of people have debates on homosexuality and if its real and things like that, and one of the things i hear repeated time and again is "you cant choose the one you love" but homosexuality is about sexual attraction, not emotional. I mean: I can be friends with another guy and care about him a lot, but that doesn't mean I want into his pants...


You seem slightly confused. sexuality isn't just about sexual attraction. There's emotional (or "social") attraction and physical (or "sexual") attraction.



when you say social, do you mean something like a psychological "nurture" sort of thing?
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