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Suicide
2843 cr points
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31 / M / Colorado Springs,...
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Posted 7/31/13


386 cr points
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21 / M
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Posted 7/31/13 , edited 7/31/13
Lol only who have depression can know, i was depressed.

Well if i'm don't have that enormous ego and believe that i'm very smart... This helped me not commit suicide.
I know, its true, who is depressed, do a storm in a glass of water. Make drama in everything and ignore that are people in worst situation, but they can't see, already dive in a sea of darkness and sadness.

I think is dishonorable and that thought saved me.

PS: My parents don't know i never get to the specialist, i cured myself with my own brain and thoughts.
Posted 8/2/13

goldslash wrote:

Lol only who have depression can know, i was depressed.

Well if i'm don't have that enormous ego and believe that i'm very smart... This helped me not commit suicide.
I know, its true, who is depressed, do a storm in a glass of water. Make drama in everything and ignore that are people in worst situation, but they can't see, already dive in a sea of darkness and sadness.

I think is dishonorable and that thought saved me.

PS: My parents don't know i never get to the specialist, i cured myself with my own brain and thoughts.


what the hell does this even mean lol.
4047 cr points
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not sharing my asl
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Posted 8/4/13
Let me start off by saying that I think there's a lot to live for in life, and suicides are tragic. But just as human beings have the right to life, I also believe that they have the right to death.
12590 cr points
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[not] China
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Posted 8/5/13
Honestly some people just need to go.
23965 cr points
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20 / F / *in his heart and...
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Posted 8/5/13
To me suicide is just way to escape life

These days life is hard It may seem short and simple but, I know probably most of us think we understand what hard in life in truth we don't.
A hard life can have so many different situations and experiences that we aren't prepared for.
So what do most people do in dire situations probably nothing.
We just wait around for a miracle to happen and when it doesn't come we lose all hope don't we.
Most of us don't even have to experience this hardship there's plenty of other reasons out there I'm sure of it.
It could be bad choices in life, family problems, or just stress.
Yet as humans we are weak and we choose the easiest route possible
In short that's the way I see it and it's kinda upsets me
Knowing they rather take the easy way out instead of facing this problem head on
When life throws it's punches knocking you down to the ground get back up and fight back
321 cr points
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31 / M / Silent Hill, CA
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Posted 8/5/13
suicide sucks, i know a few people who ended it that way and i really wish they were here so we can just hang out and spend more time growing up. If there's people here who are actually considering it, you should really do a double take - theres so so sooooooooo much in life thats waiting for you
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 8/5/13
suicide is actually pretty scary i give people credit who can take that route honestly but if your gonna suicide i would prefer self sacrifice
some people say suicide is for the weak because life is to hard death is the easy way out because for some life is hard and suicide is probably the easiest way out.

to my own personal perspective of suicide i grew bored and tired of this world. humanity has failed and i hate people or majority of them with a passion i feel like people are always trying to sue, back stabbing i don't see any positive side to this reality beside sex and pleasure, food movie's, i honestly hate people and this world we live in at one point i just wanted to end it all because i felt like i wasn't meant to be apart of this world due to its imbalance. it sicken me but i thought i live it out and see what happen who knows my goal is to be rich one day lol
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31 / M / Colorado Springs,...
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Posted 8/5/13


You know, I genuinely felt that way when I was in my early 20's. Very disappointed in the world, very sad in general. I think Mikasa explains it best in Attack on Titan, and I reference anime since we're on an anime forum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGvFscjecrs

I lost someone very special to me, and wanted to end my life but this quote, "If I die, I won't be able to remember you." touched my heart. It is the general philosophical idea that causes me to never "give up" and while I don't judge those who commit suicide, it is where I get my strength. I continue on because I treasure the memories I have with the people I've lost and I want to remember them for as long as possible.
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 8/5/13

cpblair83 wrote:



You know, I genuinely felt that way when I was in my early 20's. Very disappointed in the world, very sad in general. I think Mikasa explains it best in Attack on Titan, and I reference anime since we're on an anime forum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGvFscjecrs

I lost someone very special to me, and wanted to end my life but this quote, "If I die, I won't be able to remember you." touched my heart. It is the general philosophical idea that causes me to never "give up" and while I don't judge those who commit suicide, it is where I get my strength. I continue on because I treasure the memories I have with the people I've lost and I want to remember them for as long as possible.


agreed i actually live for the people i love , i do have a very beautiful girlfriend and i live to help her if she were to die, i'd take out as many people involved lol. before being shot by police lol
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26 / M / Lake Elsinore, CA
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Posted 8/16/13
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21 / F / Iowa
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Posted 8/17/13
My friend actually attempted and she was put in a mental ward for a while, which was probably worse than the attempt itself.

I've thought about it but never tried, like jumping out of a moving car or starvation...
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25 / M / ಠ_ಠ
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Posted 9/15/13
the 1st time i tried, i was 9 years old. i have been put hospitalized for suicide attempts 4 times in the last 6 years.

the last time i was in the hospital i ODed on my prescription pills & a fifth of vodka, & part of a fifth of rum. the pills/alcohol combination slowed down my respiratory system to the point where i stopped breathing on my own. i was put on life support. looking through the medical paperwork, my heart rate dropped 20BPMs in 5mins (the meds/alcohol was slowing my central nervous system as well).

i had to wait in the ER for a few days because there were no open beds at a psych ward in the entire state of WA. when one did open it, it was at a mental hospital a 5 hour drive away.

unfortunately for me, despite all the things i have in place (psychiatrist, counselor, meds, coping skills, etc), becoming suicidal will always be something i'll struggle with. i was diagnosed with bipolar/adhd/pstd/& recurring major depression at 17. i try to take life just one day at a time, & be gentle w/ myself. i learned a lot the last time i was in the hospital, & it's been more than a year since i tried to kill myself. hopefully, i can keep healthy & not have to deal with hospitals anymore >_< it cost $2,000/day to keep someone hospitalized. i cost my insurance & washington state tax payers (since i was involuntarily committed) about $40,0000 last year o_o
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ロサンゼルス (Originall...
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Posted 9/16/13
When I first came to America, about five years ago, it wasn't by choice. It's a long story, which I won't go into here, but I found myself living in a foreign country, where I had no friends, no family and living in a State (Texas) where the popular political, religious and social ideologies pretty much ran counter to everything in which I believed.
I'd suffered from diagnosed clinical depression for some years, and had considered suicide on occasion - but I think most people have. The thing that would probably have set off warning sirens to the people around me, if I'd had some kind of support network, was that I reached the point where I honestly didn't care if I lived or died. I found myself, for the first time in my life, homeless, living in Hermann Park in Houston, Texas, and without anyone to turn to for help. America seemed like another planet to me in so many ways (I'm from England) and it seemed impossible to find a way out of the hole I was in.
After several weeks of living rough, eating scraps of food I found in trash cans (when you catch yourself doing that, it's fairly reasonable to assume that you've reached the lowest point possible in a Western, developed nation like the United States) and hallucinating from lack of sleep, I came into possession of a bottle of Lithium tablets. When I say 'came into possession of...', I should clarify that I stole them from a girl with bi-polar disorder. I'm not proud of that fact, and yes she did get a refill, but given that I stole them with the full knowledge of what I intended to do with them, it didn't even cross my mind that I might be endangering her life too. That's the thing about clinical depression - not matter how worthless it might delude you into feeling, at the same time it paradoxically tricks you into believing that nothing else matters except your own fate.
It's also probably worth pointing out here that I was not a drug addict (I've smoked weed only once in my entire life, I don't smoke or drink at all, and never have). I stole this medication with the sole purpose of killing myself.
So, a few mornings later, when I knew that the unbearable, oppressive loneliness of existence meant that I could not face another day, I sat down by a riverbank (I think it was about 6am, but I had no way of knowing) and took about 25-30 Lithium tablets. After a surprisingly short amount of time, I began to feel light-headed. I already had everything set up, and the calmness I felt, and the seemingly reasonableness of what I was doing still shocks me now. I took the razor blade I had prized out of a safety razor I took from the one night I spent in a Texas shelter (a frightening, intimidating place, I honestly felt safer living on the streets) and cut along my left arm. I still remember being shocked by how painless it was, how easily the blade cut through my flesh, and how much blood... but the lack of pain (possibly numbed by the Lithium in my system) just amazed me, even in the terrible state I was in.
I left no note. Who would I address it to? I just lay back on the concrete sidings of the riverbank, feeling the early morning sun on my face, and listening to the sound of cars on their way to work on the overpass nearby. I meant to cut open my other arm too, but - for reasons which are completely hazy now - I never got that far. I felt myself drifting off, and I was okay with that. Not happy, not sad, not feeling sorry for myself. I felt as if, up until arriving in America, I'd had a good, full life and, truly, I had no regrets.
"Stay awake. Don't go to sleep!"
"Keep your eyes open!"
It was the first time I'd ever been in an ambulance. I couldn't understand why they wouldn't just let me sleep. Or perhaps I knew exactly why. Everything feels like a dream now, as it did back then. Certain moments still feel real, and still carry a profound, deep scar of shame for me. Vomiting over myself after having my stomach pumped, hallucinating (which I did for about three days, I was told) that old schoolfriends and a girlfriend from England were at my bedside - I remember talking to her about intimate things as she held my hand, while being aware that I was being observed by a nurse (I was, of course, on suicide watch) at the same time, although how much of that memory is real, it's hard to say now.
So, I spent ten days in hospital. The doctor told me they genuinely expected me to die. I'd been found by an early morning jogger, or cyclist, I don't recall. This person had effectively saved my life by calling 911. I had somehow avoided liver damage, although it was too early to know for certain. I had some impressive, but quite ugly, needlework all up my left arm, and I was about to spend two weeks (which turned into a month) in Harris County Psychiatric Unit. That in itself would turn out to be an epic adventure, which I won't recount here as I've already rambled far too much.
Five years later, and I now live in Los Angeles and, although I would never claim that I am 'cured' (because, once you've seriously attempted to take your own life, I don't think you can ever honestly say that you're really okay, no matter how much time has passed) I am in a much, much better place in life. I never forget, of course, nor would I want to. I have an impressive scar on my arm, which is difficult to explain away to the curious as anything other than what it is. However, the things that my depression robbed me of - my love of films, anime, literature etc, my ability to form relationships, and many years of my life, are somewhat restored. While I wouldn't make such an extravagant claim as to say that I'm a 'happy' person, I am at least a content one. For some of us, I suspect that must be enough. I'm also acutely aware of how fragile mental health can be, and of how easy it is to stumble and fall in life, and end up in a terrible place - both physically and mentally - from which your sickness can delude you into thinking there is no respite, and no way out.
Well, I want to tell you - any of you who got this far in my overlong post (congratulations! Crunchyroll should hand out an achievement pin for reading this far!) that it gets better. If you ever, ever consider harming yourself, find someone you can trust and talk to them about how you feel. Don't worry about sounding ridiculous or self-absorbed, because the people who love you would much rather that were the case, than to find you after you've hurt yourself, and it's too late.
If you don't have someone to talk to, please go to an ER room and check yourself in. Even if you're not certain that you're going to go through with it, even if deep down you feel like you just need to talk to someone, and the suicidal feelings are just 'vague' or you don't consider them serious. There are options, even when it feels like there isn't, and most of those options are ones that lead - six months, a year, two years - down the road to you being a happy, loving and loved person. Only one option leads to self-harm, and it's absolutely not worth taking. Your life is precious, you have decades of happy, ridiculous, scary, heartbreaking, exciting and beautiful experiences ahead of you. Don't give in and don't give up, because no matter how you feel at your lowest point, the most wonderful moments of your life still lay ahead of you.
Thanks,
Miles.
11091 cr points
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25 / M
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Posted 9/17/13
Sometimes the pain is so great you can't think of nothing else. It's unavoidable sometimes.
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