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Trust leads to a better friendship
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29 / F / ....in your eyes....
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Posted 3/12/08
friendship comes with trust
its not difficult to trust others but once deceived, it's difficult to trust the same person again
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aceeasi Londra
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Posted 3/12/08

nrfb wrote:


lol, now thats what my friend back at school used to say, but he changed, the "fool" part is a feeling, illusion created by mind by the person him/herself as an excuse to stop trying their best, it IS possible to get that kind of response I know, but it shouldnt be a dead end for you, it should be more of a reason to keep this up, note that your the coolest in any of those situations you have been in, stop trying is ok, but less cooler than not giving up if you know what am saying ^_^ people do change, 1 time might not work with others, but 3 surely will move their emotions, dont you think? =)


hehe ...if i said i don't trust them...it doesn't mean that i don't have friends..lol..beside that..i was talking about those fake friends...give them a little power and u'll see what kind of persons they are...
i assure u ...u'll be disappointed..as i said before maybe i'm wrong...but i usually don't misjudge ppl..i know what to appreciate and what not...
Posted 3/12/08
the tip is to trust people who'd trust you back. there.
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33 / M / Bahrain - a small...
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Posted 3/12/08

freengirez wrote:

i find it hard to trust people...i myslef am very trustworthy...the problem is that i already know no one in the world is like me


Nothing is impossible, everything is easy with practice ^_^
so you just need to trust others, if others already trust you, its easier for you to build up your friendships.
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ed_vector wrote:

I don't understand why you would trust anyone. I mean, what is trust anyways? Talking with folks about personal matters? Relying on others? Being open about negative things? I get the impression that most folks I know wouldn't want to hear about my personal dilemmas. Plus, if you're open with people, tell them how you really feel about things, your opinions, your plans, etc, that gives them a certain degree of power over you. There's no reason to disclose any of these internal discourses, you know? I mean, if I tell someone else about my frustrations, emotions, etc, it's not going to do me any practical, utilitarian good, and it will just mean that the person I'm talking to now has privileged knowledge about me, which 1) gives them the right to act and think differently towards me than what my more objectively perceived, outward appearance suggests, and 2) makes a situation that can be used against me. If it's a matter of belief, trusting others' honesty, well, I think it's dangerous to take things for granted. I think people in general are honest, but everyone has occasional lapses, and even if their record is spotless, catching them at a moment of ethical weakness could be disastrous. everyone has their own rational faculties. I think it's better to take everything with a grain of salt and make no actions on your own part until you confirm things for yourself. I mean, that's really the only way to ensure safety, right? I have yet to see a convincing argument for trust.


Now now, lets not confuse ourselves, there are types of trust, also there are levels as well.
when you say "personal matters", we are talking about a strong friendship here that is too close to a relationship, calling your friend brother for example (not by calling only, but by meaning it, when a friend is too close to you that you consider him your own brother), sure some of us share personal matters with friends, but they wouldnt do it if they dont trust that person enough. "Making advantage?" thats not really an issue if that friend already trusts you with his own personal info now is it? the trust feeling must be mutual, thats why you test people, also you dont do this in one go, like: "hey listen, am friendly and an easy target, here are some of my personal real life stories, oh and my father does that and my sister goes with that person etc etc", thats why there are levels, you start slow at the first step/level, and you keep going up, the moment you stop before gaining a mutual trust that means you failed, its not the end of the world if you fail, its not your doom if the other person reacted in "a different/not desired" way, you just accept the truth, learn from this experience, try new ways out, and surely there is no stopping you from succeeding.
So thats what levels of trust means, what about types? ofcourse there are types, what did you trust your buddy/friend with? a task? helping you with something? work related directly to your job? self info? family info? info about you in society? made a promise and trust him/her to keep?
all those are different types of trust that anyone can share with a friend (also there are lots of other types, like for example, things you trust your parents with might never be possible to trust a friend with, you know what am saying? ^^).

Here is a thoughtful story, an experience of mine, lately, I went to a funeral, and I used to hate going to funerals when I was young (not anymore), though the last time was totally different, I actually stood there thinking.. the hell? why all these people in here O_O; it was crowded beyond imagination, all those entered the graveyard, is that man really that FAMOUS?? I mean really.. what did he do!.. hes not even a star, he worked his life in a small store... but thats near impossible, the only possible answer I had in mind is that.. he really worked hard for his friends, he strengthened the bonds, he WAS the bond (imagine you being the connection between friends, that without you, they wont be friends anymore!), that old man must have been like that, was it all in vain? do you say he had better died with 3 or 4 people standing for his funeral? was his life wasted? are you sure there is no gain for you? what about that old man, is being called with good names and remembered really is a "no gain"?

you seem to like music, musicians seem to be unsocial (well, most of them), if you trust your instruments then you should trust humanity as well, because they invented them, also if what you say is true about trust, then we are no better than robots, we all eat, sleep, go to work, self-trust etc. but thats not true you know =/

I really advise you to not just place theories and rational thinking over experience and learning, yes, we all trust, and we only learn how to do it better if we keep practicing it, the minute you give up, is the minute you limit your future friendships to approximately zero, no one want that now do we? ^^;

I tried to make it as short as possible but I wanted to explain for other members as well.
Thanks for participating.
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Kitty_Katie wrote:

You know what they say... "Friends come and go, so keep the line moving." I've had so many friends that were messed up.. I trusted them but when I needed a shoulder to cry on, they were no where to be found. Trust is something that can change very quickly.


"Friends come and go, so keep the line moving." now you dont really believe in this saying being good do you? lol.
yeah, I know what you mean, some are impossible to change, some are ready for friendships, and also some of them change to better (it might take time, sometimes short, sometimes takes a long time.. in the end its always possible for a human to change ^^), some even need their friends to change, so if you support them enough, you will notice how different they can get =)
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HiyokeSadame wrote:

you may be right.. but it seems almost impossible for me to get back to I once was.. and.. really.. I'm not 13


I see, am sorry, it says 13 in profile so I just thought its right.
thanks for participating ^_^
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whizy wrote:

friendship comes with trust
its not difficult to trust others but once deceived, it's difficult to trust the same person again


"friendship comes with trust" cool way of thinking , yeah, its hard to give second chances, but it feels so good after you end up being close friends, I have lots of friends that I can hardly go out with them all, most of them knew each others through me too ^^; its more fun to approach people around you =)
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alexya4u wrote:

hehe ...if i said i don't trust them...it doesn't mean that i don't have friends..lol..beside that..i was talking about those fake friends...give them a little power and u'll see what kind of persons they are...
i assure u ...u'll be disappointed..as i said before maybe i'm wrong...but i usually don't misjudge ppl..i know what to appreciate and what not...


I got all what you said the first time ^^;
thanks for participating
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spazshaz wrote:

the tip is to trust people who'd trust you back. there.


pretty much summarized and straight to the point hehe ^^
Thanks for participating (and thanks for "you know what").
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26 / F / Sweden
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Posted 3/12/08
i dont see someone that i dont trust as a friend
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24 / M / S to I to N to G...
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Posted 3/12/08
Trust leading to a better friendship... I have to doubt that. My friend trusted another friend of his but he got betrayed by his friend and the duo became enemies...
Posted 3/12/08

sypris wrote:

What is with people and their excessive need to make the text colorful!? Well my gfs lack of trust caused me to break up with her.


aww..so sad..micheal!!..haha...u can find another girl..=)
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23 / F / Cebu, Philippines
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Posted 3/12/08
"Without trust, there can be no relationship." -Mushu, Mulan 2

hahaha
Posted 3/12/08
hahahaha, i trust my friends ... they never expose any secrets i tell them
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33 / M / Bahrain - a small...
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Posted 3/12/08

LazyZombie wrote:

i dont see someone that i dont trust as a friend


well said, thats exactly what I think! you can only call someone a friend if you trust them like they trust you too ^_^
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raveholtxp wrote:

Trust leading to a better friendship... I have to doubt that. My friend trusted another friend of his but he got betrayed by his friend and the duo became enemies...


it doesnt end like that, I believe thats a rare outcome to get, also for example, if you use a knife to kill someone, it doesnt mean the "Knife leads to disasters", it just means someone used it the wrong way, used it for something else than its original use, same is for trust, you can trick people with acting that you trust them (only experienced people might know that, and experience comes from practicing), but does that make you proud? you cant say: "I wont be using a knife in my whole life cuz it can kill", nor can you say: "trust is cheap, I cant trust people other than myself", ofcourse, not all people use the knife to kill, and not all of them cant be trusted ^^;
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nounou401 wrote:


sypris wrote:

What is with people and their excessive need to make the text colorful!? Well my gfs lack of trust caused me to break up with her.


aww..so sad..micheal!!..haha...u can find another girl..=)


oh my! is your age really 65?
thanks for participating. am really honored ^_^
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indigo_embers wrote:

"Without trust, there can be no relationship." -Mushu, Mulan 2

hahaha


Nice, thanks for participating!
Thanks to Mushu too I guess
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shikanarukez wrote:

hahahaha, i trust my friends ... they never expose any secrets i tell them


thats great, thats probably the way to go!
I do entrust my friends with some secrets, though usually I talk about other stuff, lots to say to friends that you can trust hehe
Posted 3/12/08
useless... i dont hav trusts in friendships.. i mean no more.. is tiring..
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Posted 3/12/08
There is a fine line between trusting someone and knowing someone. Believing there is a difference between them is how you identify them, and then you will understand what they both mean. I have something to say I've learned from my own experience.

Let me paint you a scenario...
A good friend asks you to deliver a letter to Person X, whom you only know the name of and nothing more. The second this favour is asked of you, you might question it: "What is it about?", "Can I read it?" or similarly. If the answer is no, you can spend a few minutes asking your friend ("why not?"), you can also spend as many minutes trying to unthread this suspicious request in your mind, considering reading it without permission. Or simply leave it. If the answer is yes.. well go ahead and read it. Unless your "good friend" was plotting something against you with his/her accomplice, your mission remains.

No matter what the result, (if you forgot, just didn't do it, relayed it to Person Y, succeeded, etc.) being sure that you got this request because your friend trust you is ludicrous, though this belief may soothe you better than the actual truth.

There can be multiple reasons why your friend didn't agree with you, didn't believe you, rejected you, avoided you, punished you or whatever.

My point with my "situation" above was that everything isn't always what you think. "That is obvious", you say, and it certainly is so, but can you deny ever having an assumption about why someone did what he/her did?

The scenario I painted was something I experienced. I asked my friend why he wanted me to deliever the letter, and he said "it wasn't because I trusted you. It was because I knew you would do it. Because I know you."
He made me damn happy there.
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Posted 3/12/08

rukiaXichigo wrote:

useless... i dont hav trusts in friendships.. i mean no more.. is tiring..


yeah, there are lots of tiring things to do in life, we choose whats worth it and whats not.
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larendilly wrote:

There is a fine line between trusting someone and knowing someone. Believing there is a difference between them is how you identify them, and then you will understand what they both mean. I have something to say I've learned from my own experience.

Let me paint you a scenario...
A good friend asks you to deliver a letter to Person X, whom you only know the name of and nothing more. The second this favour is asked of you, you might question it: "What is it about?", "Can I read it?" or similarly. If the answer is no, you can spend a few minutes asking your friend ("why not?"), you can also spend as many minutes trying to unthread this suspicious request in your mind, considering reading it without permission. Or simply leave it. If the answer is yes.. well go ahead and read it. Unless your "good friend" was plotting something against you with his/her accomplice, your mission remains.

No matter what the result, (if you forgot, just didn't do it, relayed it to Person Y, succeeded, etc.) being sure that you got this request because your friend trust you is ludicrous, though this belief may soothe you better than the actual truth.

There can be multiple reasons why your friend didn't agree with you, didn't believe you, rejected you, avoided you, punished you or whatever.

My point with my "situation" above was that everything isn't always what you think. "That is obvious", you say, and it certainly is so, but can you deny ever having an assumption about why someone did what he/her did?

The scenario I painted was something I experienced. I asked my friend why he wanted me to deliever the letter, and he said "it wasn't because I trusted you. It was because I knew you would do it. Because I know you."
He made me damn happy there.


... lol! now seriously, I understood what your saying but, I have questions for you>>

1- was that work? (meaning, did you get paid to do so?)
2- if its not work-related, then.. why bother doing something for free that you dont know about?
3- the scenario you typed, most likely happens in movies only, there is no such thing as secret organizations, and if there was, would "you" (your 18y old now so.. you prolly did this at 18 or even younger) be the one to "deliver" this top secret letter?
4- I mean really, you can open and read it anytime, whats stopping you? you had a camera on you all the time lol?
5- what other anime based jokes of scenario can you come up with? (no offense, its just funny IMO)

NOTE: work-related tasks are meant to be done, whether you believe in it or not, they are paying you to do the job, any organization/company got rules and you follow specifically, there is no one-time mission, am not really sure but your too young to be a worker, probably still a student right? (I mean your only 18...).
one more thing in work field, if you dont do your own job, you will probably get punished, if you trust someone to do your job instead of you, you alone are responsible, whether your partner did what you asked or not, because in the end, its your own work. that doesnt mean its impossible to let others do your work, its just risky on your side, no matter how strong is your trust in that friendship, people might get occupied easily at work hours, which means your buddy might not even have the time to help you or maybe sometimes forget that you asked him/her to do your job instead (I hope you understood all this, I tried to make it clear).


You dont have to answer on those questions, am not pushing you over, am just explaining my point, and why your example (that is so like superman helping spiderman, is not of our reality, its kinda fiction you see) doesnt satisfy you giving up and not trying to gain others' trust.

Thanks for participating though, I really like long replies, it only shows how courageous a person can get, never be ashamed of something you participate in, as long as its not anything rude that is, we all learn more from experience after all, the more we type, the more we get to understand the topic (IMO).

Taken from your profile>>
"Let's see... mmm... me in five words: weird, madness, swedish, energetic, happy"

^ Now thats a brilliant sentence, I love it
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Posted 3/12/08
Meh, I only trust people when I feel my trust will be rewarded back. Like I lent my friend £200 today...SHoul i not get that back not only will I beat the living daylights out of him, but that may cause me to become even more cautious about who I trust...Considering I rarely trust anyone besides my family and one or two close friends, that's a bad thing. Trust is necessary ina friendship, but as I half explained, trust in the wrong places could lead to people just walking over you, don't hand it out ona silver platter to everyone.

And for the record I'm pretty sure I'll get that cash back without having to resort to violence. >.>
Posted 3/12/08
True but eh, I have trust issues..
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