Post Reply I need a title for a new poem... i wrote it yesterday
16656 cr points
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20 / F / Pluto (i dont eve...
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Posted 3/20/08
ok... i wrote this yesterday so it still has a few kinks to be worked out... but i want to find a title for it
please give me advice!
im also gonna put altunitive lines in ( ) so if u like one of these better PLEASE tell me... thanx!

ok... here we go...

My heart is numb
From all this pain
I no longer get cold
From the rain

My father beat my mother (father beat mother)
Day or night
She just told me (she only told me)
We’d be alright

He took in alcohol
And drugs too
He is bipolar, schizophrenic
In a word, coo coo

She didn’t leave him
Until I was ten
Long enough to affect me
I no longer trust men

I know it’s not her fault
She did her best
She just considered
This a test (that a test)

I comforted my brother
And sister before sleep
I took responsibility
For their keep

After their heads
Fell on their pillows
My sadness escaped
Like weeping willows

I would cry (i would cry myself)
Myself to sleep (to sleep every night)
The nights they fought (especially when)
I’d truly weep (they did truely fight)

She finally left
After threats of death
To her young children
To stop our breath

We got out
In the nick of time
Unfortunately, dad got off
Without a crime

I have started (i might want to get rid of this part all together)
To become
A lifeless body
Very numb

I have forgiven everyone involved
But don’t become misled
I no longer feel mad
I only feel dead



thanx 4 reading... i would REALLY appretiate responses!
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19 / F / ~ iN dA sChOoL, o...
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Posted 6/8/08
this was the best poem i read.
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21 / M / colorado
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Posted 7/28/08
wow thats great specialy with the lines in parentheses
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