Post Reply My eyes grow weary
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Posted 3/23/08 , edited 4/30/08
The lights had gone some time before, darkness now creeps around me.
Streams of light now only a memory. From where they once came, I cannot say.
This all seems so distant, and yet I feel the cold upon my skin.
The piercing sound of water dripping to the concrete upon which I lie.
Cold unescapable walls all around, complete barriers.
My breath grows short as light disappears from my mind completely.
Trapped inside with no hope for survival, time seems an illusion.
My eyes still trying to adjust... a futile attempt to have the comfort of sight.
I can hear someone outside faintly if I press hard enough to the wall, and so I smile.
At least someone is there, I'm not completely alone.
It fades away away like everything else, but I still cling to the voice.
So wonderful to hear someone speak... even if it is not to me.
I see the images flash over and over in my head; the tortures I've been through.
No matter if I try to scream, my voice was taken from me long ago...
It's so cold, I wonder if no one even knows of my existence anymore.
Thinking back on it, I can hardly even remember my own face.
The pain I felt when I saw it last, makes me cringe.
Nothing is as it should be, this prison...
Why? Why has this been done? Why Can't I recall who did this to me?
Why do these thoughts cry out in my mind now?
I've heard that you see your life flash before your eyes prior to death... ...
No! I willfind a way! I have to! It... It was a mistake.
That's right... it was a mistake...
I can see it now, right here in front of me, the light I last saw.
The face that frowned upon me, closing up the last hole... that face... it was my own.
The voices of people who cared for me... I could hear them before and yet it all seemed so surreal .
This place I'm in now... My own secluded world.
I no longer can escape... Why did it come to this?
I thought it for the best... yes the best.
Because being alone, stung less than being hurt...
It was a mistake... This is not what I wanted!
I... I want to see her again.
My eyes grow weary.

Abstract and no good, but I felt like trying to write something. So i just opened a topic in here and began to write. Hope someone can enjoy it, or hate it. We all have our own views of things,
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Posted 3/25/08
It's good. Not because it has originality, but you bothered to think it out. You expressed the feelings out wonderfully and i admire it. I don't love it, for it is almost impossible to love such sad things (if we did, we'd be supporting sadness in the world), but i admire it. I really do.
Posted 3/31/08
I think it was very good, as said before, it was not an original thought but it was originally expressed. In all beautiful emotional depiction.
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Posted 4/4/08
Well like I said I just went on writing away at nothingness But thanks for the support-type-stuffs guys
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Posted 4/15/08 , edited 4/16/08
there edited it a little bit to make it a little better, I can't believe I wrote it the other way before Isn't it strange how sometimes what little changes you make can impact something so much?
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Posted 4/16/08

atatakakunai wrote:

there edited it a little bit to make it a little better, I can't believe I wrote it the other way before Isn't it strange how sometimes what little changes you make can impact something so much?


"My eyes go weary" is good at the end...I don't really find it good for it to be near the beginning~
Overall, nice improvement. The flow could be a touch better if you ask me, but good job nonetheless!
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Posted 4/17/08
A lot better~ Ganbatte!
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Posted 5/26/08
man no one giving me much input :p lol
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Posted 5/28/08 , edited 5/28/08
wow... i like the writting style..
the way you keep the reader guessing what's the character's problem is or where he actually is..
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Posted 6/6/08
I feel special
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