Post Reply Reflective Thoughts of You
5288 cr points
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25 / F / K-town ❤
Posted 3/24/08

Pride Is My Sin

I dedicate this song to you.
What I feel for you comes down
to these three minutes,
and all the words I couldn't express
overflow through my fingers--
is it so bad to hold them in my grasp,
for holding back?

But you're already gone
so like these letters I wrote,
[my thoughts]
will never reach you.

I linger, still
with hands stained in ink--
forgotten, the lines blur.
A feverish haste smothers me
with thoughts of you
as I trace the message
over and over again.

If I could send a piece of me
would you read it?
would you listen?
would you reply and say
you give a damn.

If only you would,
if only I could.

I dedicate this song to you.
In these three minutes
you are all I could express--
even everything I couldn't confess, listlessly,
it seeps through my fingers.

But you're already gone,
and I'm only waiting for an answer
to a question, I never asked.

A little insight:

Never a Sad Song

Morning stills in the cold air;
Only a tint of light filter through the curtains
While I struggle to wonder why I should be awake,
And the face of a dream soon washes away.

Curtains open and brilliant light falls around me,
Giving shape to the familiar chill of reality.
It's Seven Fifty-five, and I know you're gone;
Like a small tidal wave, I'm shaken.

Your silent goodbyes are all I could hear.
In this hollow room, only your memories are left--
Its scent always around but never near,
Like the feelings you held for me.

How is it nothing ever fazes you?
I wish I could see you fall to your knees
And cry in regret for all you've lost in me.
When you told me nothing lasts forever,
I bitterly said I didn't ask for eternity,
But we still ended like a sad song.

Note: I thought about making it a song, but I think it's better off as just a simple poem.

Comments? Criticisms? Feel free.
3640 cr points
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F / Canada
Posted 3/25/08
Kay about the first one, did you write the song it's referring to? Does the song even exist? It it does, it'll be helpful to put that in your post as well.
I have little criticism about the second one, it's beautiful~! It would be perfect as a poem, a song like that would be a little tough to sing. There's something about the ending i don't like, but the beginning and middle is pretty =3
Posted 4/10/08
I liked them both. The feeling they left me with was inspiring. I didn't really feel the last two lines of the second poem, but hey its your art. In all they were wonderfully put.
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