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Is it wrong to speak out your feelings on a subject?
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24 / F / idk, really, i ju...
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Posted 3/25/08
I express my feelings mostly...but i feel really bad when people make fun of it or laugh at me, maybe because my clueless, for that, i'm sorry, so i'm wondering if i should keep my mouth close..
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Posted 3/25/08
Ask yourself, is it wrong of others to speak out their feelings on your opinion?

If its only about your feelings or opinion fine.
But if it was because you represented your feelings as fact then no.

For example an opinion that was presented as fact to the question "Did man come from monkeys?" could be "Man was created by god".

There was no proof given, nothing to substaniate it and if asked you would receive replies to the tone of "That's whats faith is for".
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Posted 3/25/08

n_n303 wrote:

no you shouldnt keep your mouth closed. HOWEVER, before speaking you should always rethink what you're about to say.




also I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier, but you should have done some more research before quoting me over and over again. *gives you a cookie* truths?


hahahah..i'm sorry too..it's mostly my fault, *swallows* ..sure! *truths*
Posted 3/25/08
It depends on whether your speech is ultimately harmful or not. You have to ask yourself if there is any benefit to speaking your feelings.

For example, if you see a morbidly obese woman on the street, you may feel "that's disgusting, she's morbidly obese." However, if you go up to her and tell her that she's disgusting, then that probably won't actually benefit anyone, and will just piss her off.
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Posted 3/26/08
No Speaking Your Mind Is Good But....

Just Think Before You Say Is Always Good



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Posted 3/26/08
It depends on many things, where, how, to whom do you say it.

Expressing naive feelings on a touchy subject to fanatic people may cause lots of problem, for example.
But within really nice friends, you may be able to say anything in any way natural for you.

In th public space (like forum), you may want to be more carefull since you never know what kind of people are reading.
Anyone from any country can read it. And there are many kinds of unimaginable people on the earth ....
Posted 3/26/08
i tried to express how i feel so many time to people that should care and it did me no good
but thats just my xperience
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25 / F / Birmingham
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Posted 3/26/08

shibole wrote:

It depends on whether your speech is ultimately harmful or not. You have to ask yourself if there is any benefit to speaking your feelings.

For example, if you see a morbidly obese woman on the street, you may feel "that's disgusting, she's morbidly obese." However, if you go up to her and tell her that she's disgusting, then that probably won't actually benefit anyone, and will just piss her off.


i agree with this.
this is what i lack in, i tend to just say things without thinking, and without realising, I can insult people.
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28 / M / Clow Country
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Posted 3/26/08

**Copied from an Essay by Paul Graham

When you find something you can't say, what do you do with it? My advice is, don't say it. Or at least, pick your battles.

Suppose in the future there is a movement to ban the color yellow. Proposals to paint anything yellow are denounced as "yellowist", as is anyone suspected of liking the color. People who like orange are tolerated but viewed with suspicion. Suppose you realize there is nothing wrong with yellow. If you go around saying this, you'll be denounced as a yellowist too, and you'll find yourself having a lot of arguments with anti-yellowists. If your aim in life is to rehabilitate the color yellow, that may be what you want. But if you're mostly interested in other questions, being labelled as a yellowist will just be a distraction. Argue with idiots, and you become an idiot.

The most important thing is to be able to think what you want, not to say what you want. And if you feel you have to say everything you think, it may inhibit you from thinking improper thoughts. I think it's better to follow the opposite policy. Draw a sharp line between your thoughts and your speech. Inside your head, anything is allowed. Within my head I make a point of encouraging the most outrageous thoughts I can imagine. But, as in a secret society, nothing that happens within the building should be told to outsiders. The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.

When Milton was going to visit Italy in the 1630s, Sir Henry Wootton, who had been ambassador to Venice, told him his motto should be "i pensieri stretti & il viso sciolto." Closed thoughts and an open face. Smile at everyone, and don't tell them what you're thinking. This was wise advice. Milton was an argumentative fellow, and the Inquisition was a bit restive at that time. But I think the difference between Milton's situation and ours is only a matter of degree. Every era has its heresies, and if you don't get imprisoned for them you will at least get in enough trouble that it becomes a complete distraction.

I admit it seems cowardly to keep quiet. When I read about the harassment to which the Scientologists subject their critics [12], or that pro-Israel groups are "compiling dossiers" on those who speak out against Israeli human rights abuses [13], or about people being sued for violating the DMCA [14], part of me wants to say, "All right, you bastards, bring it on." The problem is, there are so many things you can't say. If you said them all you'd have no time left for your real work. You'd have to turn into Noam Chomsky. [15]

The trouble with keeping your thoughts secret, though, is that you lose the advantages of discussion. Talking about an idea leads to more ideas. So the optimal plan, if you can manage it, is to have a few trusted friends you can speak openly to. This is not just a way to develop ideas; it's also a good rule of thumb for choosing friends. The people you can say heretical things to without getting jumped on are also the most interesting to know.

Full Article: http://www.paulgraham.com/say.html


This essay, which I encountered a while back, more or less enumerates my opinion on this topic. Conventions and taboos will always arise in society. There'll be things that are unspeakable, and things that are thought irrevocably true. It's inevitable that when these ideas are contradicted society will resist, and even retaliate. Though it is beneficial, even necessary to the advancement of our society that we question dogma, it is not always best to carry this out rashly. The conflict of ideas can be brutal. Speaking out is wonderful and all, but think. What are the consequences of speaking out immediately? How will my ideas be received? If you know it would be received poorly, think how you could bring it about differently to get a different result?

You don't have to speak your thoughts. You can be perfectly content keeping them to yourself and (with the advent of the Internet and the wonderful benefit of anonymity it offers) to the plethora of users online. There is safety there. Your ideas can flow without any fear of consequence.
Posted 3/26/08
It all depends on the way you say it, you need to be charming.
:]
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27 / F / Vancouver
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Posted 3/26/08
No it's not

It's only wrong when you're sounding like a dumbass
Posted 3/26/08
This basically sums up my thinking on the issue:


The Buddha: "What do you think, Rahula: What is a mirror for?"

"For reflection, sir."

"In the same way, Rahula, bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions are to be done with repeated reflection.

...

"Whenever you want to do a verbal action, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal action I want to do — would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Would it be an unskillful verbal action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it would be an unskillful verbal action with painful consequences, painful results, then any verbal action of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful verbal action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then any verbal action of that sort is fit for you to do.

"While you are doing a verbal action, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal action I am doing — is it leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful verbal action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it is leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both... you should give it up. But if on reflection you know that it is not... you may continue with it.

"Having done a verbal action, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal action I have done — did it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Was it an unskillful verbal action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it led to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it was an unskillful verbal action with painful consequences, painful results, then you should confess it, reveal it, lay it open to the Teacher or to a knowledgeable companion in the holy life. Having confessed it... you should exercise restraint in the future. But if on reflection you know that it did not lead to affliction... it was a skillful verbal action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then you should stay mentally refreshed & joyful, training day & night in skillful mental qualities.


(Rahula was the Buddha's son.)

Note that it isn't necessary to hurt other people to make them understand that you've been hurt.
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Posted 3/26/08
It's not forbidden to express your feelings. Not in society, not in life. People tend to insult others basically to be cool, or smart in the eyes of others. Just be careful what subject are you going to be part of. Some subjects are delicate, and that is when the smoothness in every person comes into play.
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22 / F
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Posted 3/27/08
of course not, but it depends on what you're gonna say. sometimes, ppl just shudnt say offensive stuff >_>
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27 / F / ..deepsouth..
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Posted 3/27/08
umm.. its wrong when you gave it out in a wrong time or manner...
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