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31 / F / Iwakuni, Japan
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Posted 3/26/08
Hi everyone,

I want some advice on something. I have struggled for years on whether or not I was straight, but until last year I was a virgin. When I first slept with this guy for the longest time I couldn't stand it. Eventually I started to like it, but recently i've been getting this feeling like it isn't what I want. I know I want to be with another woman, but i've never actually had sex with one, i've made out with one and I enjoyed it. Also I find it easier to express what I feel for another woman alot better. I'm more comfortable, men make me uncomfortable. Basically what i'm coming at is, I consider myself bisexual, but seeing as how i've never been with another female all the way is that a correct assesment? I guess i'm asking cause i always worry about what people think of me. The guy I sleep with knows about it and he's fine with it, hell he wants to sleep with me and another girl, i told him though I might not want him after sleeping with a female though, I wonder if I do sleep with a girl will i even go back to guys!
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29 / M / UK
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Posted 3/26/08
There are a few questions here... and we can't really answer most of them...

You don't have to have slept with a member of your own gender to be gay, and you don't have to sleep with one of each to know that you are bi.

You say that you are bisexual, or at least think that you are. So the question is can you be happy with the man you are with? Do you need a relationship with a woman to be happy? Or just a different man?

I'm not psychic and its 3AM so I can't tell you... but it does sound to me like you might be happier in a relationship with a woman. However you aren't going to be able to experience that with a one night stand or a threesome. So you have to figure out if you want to be in the relationship you are in, or if you are going to be happier with someone else (specifically a woman).

...Yeah I know that's not too helpful.
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31 / F / Iwakuni, Japan
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Posted 3/26/08
Thanks for the answer, it makes sense! =)
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34 / F / Earth
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Posted 3/28/08
I have to agree with Tyrfing.

For one, if you aren't really into being with the guy your sleeping with, I would gently break it off. Sometimes the road to self-discovery is actually taking the time to separate yourself from distracting elements.

I have always believed that you don't have to figure out your sexuality by sleeping with a male or female, it goes way deeper than that. It does sound like you need to explore the "other side" of yourself and the best way to do that is to get to know a few women and maybe go on a few dates...it may help you find your comfort level.

You have plenty of time, you do not have to define yourself today, tomorrow or ever. It's about the person right?
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31 / F / Iwakuni, Japan
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Posted 3/29/08
Yay! Animejock! I remember talking to you about this before!
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27 / F / Mare Serenitatis...
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Posted 5/1/08
They're both right. You don't need to sleep with someone to know what you are. Maybe the guys jsut wrong. This is sometihng you need to figure out on your own. But as for the makign out if you enjoyed it then you're probably bi.
Try thinking of the past that could help. Who have you had better relationships with? Girlfriend or guy friends. That would seem to be the best approach, for most people at least.
As for the threesome I would hold off on that. Just take your time.
(SOrry if sounds bad too. I don't mean to upset or offend anyone.)
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