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Funny Sayings
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27 / M / Singapore
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Posted 12/31/06
this is a thread for people to share any funny sayings they may have. ^^

me first. =))

"some poeple are like slingies... good for nothing, but u can't help but smile when one tumbles down the stairs."

"never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night"

"The worst part about censorship is that it is a b****."
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Posted 12/31/06
Your not a failure. Your just someone who tried but failed.

I made it up! No copying! >_>
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Posted 12/31/06
You're a person of rare intelligence; it's rare when you show any
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27 / M / Singapore
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Posted 12/31/06
“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, `Where have I gone wrong?` Then a voice says to me, `This is going to take more than one night.`”
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25 / M / y should i tell...
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Posted 12/31/06
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no efing way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh s**t I'm sorry I thought paper would protect you, a**hole."
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25 / M / y should i tell...
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Posted 12/31/06
got a nother one

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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24 / F / Wonderland
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Posted 12/31/06
^those are both awesome

i got one!

i just told you boyfriend he was gay.... he hit me with his purse

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25 / M / y should i tell...
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Posted 12/31/06
This more of a fact than sayin but i found it hilarious

When the americans went to space they quickly found out that ball point pens wouldn't work in zero G's so NASA spent a decade and 12 billion dollars developing a pen that could write in zero G's, upside down, underwater on almost any surface including glass and in temperatures ranging from below freezing and to 300 degrees F
THE RUSSIANS USED A PENCIL

-things that sound dirty at thanksgiving

Talk about a huge breast!

Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

It's Cool Whip time!

If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

Whew, that's one terrific spread!

I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

Are you ready for seconds yet?

It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

Don't play with your meat.

Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

You still have a little bit on your chin.

How long will it take after you stick it in?

You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

How long do I beat it before it's ready?
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76 / 椅子の上
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Posted 12/31/06
Some funny quotes~

An optimist stays up til midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank when they have no account.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
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27 / F / Virginia
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Posted 12/31/06
COMMUNISM -- SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have
four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.
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27 / M
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Posted 12/31/06
As confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.
She's stroked more wood than a Furniture Polisher.


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28 / M / Earth
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Posted 12/31/06
"Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional"
"A slinky on an escalator = Unlimited Fun"
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26 / M / seattle
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Posted 12/31/06
"people die when they are killed"
"its the not the pants that make you look fat it is the fat that makes you look fat honey"
ok so none of them are sayings but i like them and think they are funny and you can say them.... >.<
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23
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Posted 12/31/06
the best way to keep a stupid person occupied is...(look at sentence below)

the best way to keep a stupid person occupied is...(look at sentence above)
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27 / M / Toronto
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Posted 12/31/06
this u prolly heard from somewhere:

"Practice makes perfect but nobody is perfect, therefore there's no use in practicing cuz ull never be perfect"
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