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Funny Sayings
Posted 12/31/06
a bee without stripes and a stinger is a fly

not a saying, but it's a constant joke in my band...

"How does a lead vocalist screw in a lightbulb?"
"They hold it up and the world revolves around them"
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Posted 1/1/07

byakugan_warrior wrote:

This more of a fact than sayin but i found it hilarious

When the americans went to space they quickly found out that ball point pens wouldn't work in zero G's so NASA spent a decade and 12 billion dollars developing a pen that could write in zero G's, upside down, underwater on almost any surface including glass and in temperatures ranging from below freezing and to 300 degrees F
THE RUSSIANS USED A PENCIL

-things that sound dirty at thanksgiving

Talk about a huge breast!

Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

It's Cool Whip time!

If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

Whew, that's one terrific spread!

I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

Are you ready for seconds yet?

It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

Don't play with your meat.

Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

You still have a little bit on your chin.

How long will it take after you stick it in?

You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

How long do I beat it before it's ready?


Making fun of Americans? O well... If life was a road id be the rodent that got ran over.
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24 / F / SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
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Posted 1/1/07
if practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, why practice?
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27 / M / Singapore
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Posted 1/1/07
LOL! byakugan_warrior was hilarious. ^^

my bro told me this one, and for some reason, it struck me as funny. :S
"If unicorns are horses with horns, then technically, horny horses are unicorns"
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Posted 1/1/07
he who laughs last thinks slowest

it is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them

a fine is a tax for doing wrong.... a tax is a fine for doing well.

*edited by mauz15
Use the edit button
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Posted 1/1/07
Damn, I had a really good one... What was it?? >_<

"There's a really stupid saying: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Well, I have a better saying: When life hands you lemons, shove that lemon up it's stupid butt." - Oh My Goth
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Posted 1/1/07
"I am not your servant!" - my mother

She's so silly. And a terrible servant.
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Posted 1/1/07
Thats what my dad says. I think I'm going to fire him.
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30 / F / Canada, BC
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Posted 1/1/07
If knowledge is power then how come George Bush is the president for 8 straight years... ( I don't know where I got it from.)
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Posted 1/1/07
Something I read somewhere: " Im nobody and nobodys perfect, so Im perfect!"
My brother said this while we were ignoring someone who was screaming at us for attacking their car: " You know... birds eat birdseed because the word' bird ' is in the word ' birdseed ', but they dont eat peanuts because the word ' bird ' is not in the word ' birdseed '! " It was completely random, but got rid of the person yelling at us!
Posted 1/1/07
incest is the best

when life makes you to stupid to tie your shoes wear loafers
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22 / F / Inside your closet
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Posted 1/1/07
"Don't say that your life is boring because you have no creativity to make it fun."

I love how people in classes below me call me stupid, I just love saying "If I am stupid, and I have better grades and am samrter than you, what does that make you? mentally challenged?" They shut up after that.

"It's so funny that you think I am listening"
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27 / M / Singapore
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Posted 1/1/07
"if everyone were politically correct in this world, then the Black-eyed peas would be known as the Afro-American-eyed peas."
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22 / F / Inside your closet
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Posted 1/1/07
^really I didn't know *believes it for some reason*
Posted 1/1/07
kids in the dark make accidents
and accidents in the dark make kids
where did i read that? oh ya a washroom stall!
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