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Post Reply The story of my life
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Posted 4/9/08
Hi all

My name is Josh or as a lot of you may know me Darklegna4 the creator of this group. At the beginning when I had the idea of making a group I thought that it was going to be very easy. Though out the time that the group started, I have realize that there are a lot of people with a lot of potential. People really intelligent that had too much to say, but at the same time were not sure to open them self, so that others could see who they are. And to tell you the true I was one of them too, but now I want all of you guys to know the real me, the human behind this screen.

I was born in the United States 19 years ago. My life hasn’t been easy at all. Since the first day of my existence I was a child that was not wanted for his parents. As the time passed my parents decided to move to Mexico. They say it was because USA did not have the same values and morals that they parents had. For the next 14 years I lived in Mexico I country that was very close minded and very conservative. Just as my life was having some meaning, my parents decided again to move, this time back to USA so I could have more opportunities and a better education. Just as my family, friends, and close people in Mexico disappear in front of my eyes. A new completely world was in front of me. I was very challenging for me since all of the time that I was in México I did not study any English. And to come to an estrange land with a different language was really hard for me. The first year of High School were horrible I did not had any friends all of the people would make fun of me, because of my pronunciation. Even though a lot of time I thought of quitting something inside of me kept me moving.

My family, my super- ultra -orthodox family. They have helped me in some things but they have also stopped me from a lot of others. Since little I was not able to have friends and to go out to play to no one. My fun at that time was looking at the window and wondered what would be like if I was out side. I remember making all this weird stories in my mind, of me having a lot of adventures. I was a loner LoL. Through out my life the only thing that I have heard from my family about homosexuals has bee very bad. When I was 14 I realize that I liked one of my friends, but this was not a daily feeling, it was something that made my stomach feels very empty. Even though at that time I had a girlfriend I was kind of confused with that feeling. As I came to the United States, I realize that I was bi. My family as you may think does not know anything of this. The reason that I haven’t confronted them is not because I am not proud of what I am, but because I know that this will break the little unity that we have. I do not want that to happen. My romance life has been some kind of up and down as I imagine all of the relations are. I have had my heart broken in million of pieces to many time until a point in were I became a rock. I was not a person I dint had any feeling for anything I was always thinking bad things, and how to make people feel bad. Until one day I realize that I was throwing my life to the trash. Since that day I think that I have become the person that I have always wanted to be. I have given and give and give with out asking for anything back. And that make me really happy. And even though my life is not perfect and the problems at home at school and in my life keep coming and coming, I have make a decision of not pay any attention to them and focus in the positive side of things. I am a human to that have feelings and it has help me a lot to know that there are a lot of people with the same or even bigger problems, since that make me see that I' am not alone.

I invite you to tell us your story, you never now when you can find a true friend of the love that you have been waiting for if you don’t allow your self to be happy ^_^

Posted 4/10/08
Thank you Josh for sharing your story with us.
I will try to get some courage and post my own.

Ahora siento que estas un poco más cerca y ya no eres otro desconocido
con el que he cruzado un par de frases...


(Now I feel you're a little closer and you're no longer a strange with whom I have
exchange some words...)


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26 / M / Haha ^_^ I don't...
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Posted 4/10/08
Oh, sad story there :'o

What about me?

Hm... My name's Kiruki (but you can call me Ruki or something else). A lot of people seen me like a very kind person, but they hate that I had a very girly look. That has given me many things after me (yah, everyone wants to fight with me. So mostly of the days I've hurt at my body). I've my own style & that is why people hate me I think. I have friends, but most of them are out of the country. But of course I want many new friends :3 I always are there for them who want to talk about their problem, but funny things is pretty good for me too. I'm playing drums and sing in a band called Laveichi, but we aren't that famous ^^"~ The most important for me are that the music are fun to do. My grandma is japanese, but my parents are from Sweden. I live in both Sweden and Japan, the only thing is that I'm not that good in japanese >__<"

Things who interesting me is drama, manga, anime, music, cosplay and conversations. My life isn't that easy you think, but I doesn't really can't talk about it... But, I'm happy in the rest (^__^)

Gomenasai, I doesn't know what I can tell you more about
Posted 4/10/08
Mmm... short autobiography. Well... that's pretty impossible, but what the heck!
I am Sergio. I was born and raised in Mexico and came (was brought) to the US at age 11. I've had the life of a loner since I can remeber: from kindergarten being the obedient uncool kid to college being the one who doesn't have friends, lovers or money =/
However, I am of the opinion that I have no right to complain... and somehow... I continue to be alive and to keep living even when life has disappointed me in so many respects.
I just re-read what I wrote and I sound like the most bitter person in the world and I truly am not. Here goes the actual events. In middle school I did not speak a word of English in 6th grade and did relatively ok in school. However, in my loneliness I decided to explore a place where the people who didn't like me would never be: THE LIBRARY! There I discovered amazing people and universes beyond my belief (not to mention the English language) and it wasn't in person (un)fortunately. Obviously my social skills did not rise much, but my academic skills did and I quickly became the smartest ESL kid. My teachers were proud and after 2 years of being in the country transfered me to honors classes in 8th grade... from which I graduated Valedictorian. It sounds like I'm listing my accomplishments... but in reality I'm depicting the emptiness I faced in a world that didn't want me... who really wants an ugly, sexually ambiguous, shy, taciturn, weak, Mexican kid for anything? Academics is not my pride... it's my refuge. However, I tried to change that around in High School and decided that I would become both a social creature and a brilliant student (to which some extent I achieved).
High school brought with it several things including my first openly self-admited crush on another guy, more academic challenges, and friends that would truly value me for the first time. High School was an era purged of the extremely immature feelings found in middle school, and thus it was somewhat more hospitable to me. I did succeed extremely well academically, though. However, when graduating from high school I was slowly becoming aware of my limitations. I am what is called an "illegal alien", meaning that I was stupid enough to choose to be born in Mexico rather than the US... and that I forced my parents to bring me to the US as an 11-year-old, and that I am a disgusting criminal who is up to no good... who just wants to ruin this country for the virtuous people who CHOSE to be born here... who truly do deserve an American dream (I'm being ironic, btw). This undocumented status has kept me limited. I have not been given financial aid to attend college easily... thus I have to pay for all of it (when in reality most 4.5's have a guaranteed payment almost). Coming from a poor family this is not an easy task, so now my college life is very limited to work, study, sleep, eating (sometimes), and family. The family part is ok, although they had a hard time with the whole gay issue. But in school I was doing not too bad, getting used to the idea that I was like Kikyo... meant to be something and that something only, I stuck to the professional, leaving romance, friends, and sometimes even family behind to achieve my goals. However, like in every anime, an InuYasha shows up... and just like in the anime, destiny plays around with me and him and we end up destroying each other with guilt, pain, and a premature separation that led nowhere but to a heart shattered into a million pieces, torn angel wings, and a wounded hope of finding sense in a world which is cruel and random and in which nothingness is more powerful than love, promises, justice, or goodness.
I still retain some sort of faith in that there is a real justice, and that we must figh for it... that there is still love, but that it is so unlikely and so rare (and thus more valuable)... that there is still the chance that WE can create our own hope in a world that offers none... that there is still a reason to be alive... that the pleasure from either the one true love or just a simple sunset can keep me with a desire to remain alive... and to keep seeking for something better tomorrow.
Hope I'm not too melodramatic for you guys... I'm a simple guy at heart... but I'm truly in an existesialist crisis... and I believed it to be hypocritical not to show that here. Well... looking forward to meeting you all if you're ever interested. Trust me... I'm harmless and can be a good friend... just don't mess with me the wrong way ^_^. Peace!
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28 / M / USA-California
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Posted 4/10/08

Lullubell wrote:

Thank you Josh for sharing your story with us.
I will try to get some courage and post my own.

Ahora siento que estas un poco más cerca y ya no eres otro desconocido
con el que he cruzado un par de frases...


(Now I feel you're a little closer and you're no longer a strange with whom I have
exchange some words...)




Ese es el proposito de este forum. Quiero que la gente salga y que de aconocer lo que son y que tan valiosos son cada uno de los miembros. Quiero que vean que hay muchisima gente con lo mismos problemas y que puedes ser que no podamos ayudar el uno al otro. Te deceo lo mejor y que puedas obtener esas fuersas que necesitas es un gusto poder platicar con alguien en español ^_^.

**Translation**
(The purpose of this forum is that people come out and that they allow other member to know more about them, to let us see how valuable each of them are. i want the members to see that we have a lot in common and that we may be sharing the same problems and that we can help each other. I wish you the best and that soon you can have the courage to tell us your story, it has been a pleasure to chat in spanish with someone.)
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Posted 4/10/08

Sheesee wrote:

Oh, sad story there :'o

What about me?

Hm... My name's Kiruki (but you can call me Ruki or something else). A lot of people seen me like a very kind person, but they hate that I had a very girly look. That has given me many things after me (yah, everyone wants to fight with me. So mostly of the days I've hurt at my body). I've my own style & that is why people hate me I think. I have friends, but most of them are out of the country. But of course I want many new friends :3 I always are there for them who want to talk about their problem, but funny things is pretty good for me too. I'm playing drums and sing in a band called Laveichi, but we aren't that famous ^^"~ The most important for me are that the music are fun to do. My grandma is japanese, but my parents are from Sweden. I live in both Sweden and Japan, the only thing is that I'm not that good in japanese >__<"

Things who interesting me is drama, manga, anime, music, cosplay and conversations. My life isn't that easy you think, but I doesn't really can't talk about it... But, I'm happy in the rest (^__^)

Gomenasai, I doesn't know what I can tell you more about


thank you for coming here and let us know more about you. is really sad how people look at us and how the always judge us my their own ideas and don't allow us to be what we are, and to be unique. I'm very happy to know that we have a singer on the group and i will love be here you. thanks you again for being so honest and fell free to come back and tell us more about you ^_^
Posted 4/10/08
Ermmm... Hi?
My life is boring so i wont bore you will all the details ^^
My name is Saiko i dont go by my first name cuz i hate it so much but yeah.
I was born in US and I still live in the US.
My life is normal as you can say, Im told to be Gemo(Goth/Emo) so I treated like Dirty but oh well thats what I get for Trying to be diffrent I guess ^//^. Im the second most feard person in my school.(1st is the principle of course xD) Just because I look mean. I only have a small group of friends that I cherish dearly because they excepted me for who i am so I stick up for them in return ^^.
Now for my family, I am a Twin, i have 3 sisters counting me and i am the second youngest Im one minuet older then my twin. and I have 3 brothers who are all older then me.
One day during my freshman year in Highschool me and my twin were in a oil fire and now i have 1,2,3 Degree burns all up my right arm, my twin got it easy she has 1st degree on the top of her hand I have 3rd on top of mine. and she has alittle pat of 2 degree on her leg. We still have the scars from it, I am now a Junior. if u want to see pics i can try and get u a pic xD but yeah if u want to know how it heppen message me.
What can I say about my parents.. That I hate them with a passion on some days but can deal with them on others I guess. I dont talk to them that much.
I am the outcast of the family but my mom says she was like me when she was little but i think shes lying.
Im obssessed with vampires and anime and music and I love to draw and paint. I like to hit people for the fun of it but not super hard unless they hit me hard xD. I alos have a weird thing for biting and handcuffs O.o and chains but yeah.
well i dont know what else to say so yeah want to know more i guess just message me.
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25 / F / Ireland
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Posted 4/10/08
My name is Treasa in Irish and Terry in English. I was born in Ireland to a very large family and a lot of love. I have been very fortunate in my life and everyday I am thankful for that. Ever since I was little, I knew I was different, I liked to make up romantic stories where a prince saves a princess, except sometimes I was the prince! I knew both boys and girls were 'pretty' but I didn't think that was weird. When I was in my early teens I fell head over heels in love with a beautiful, older girl and made a stupid decision to give myself to her, both mentally and physically. She used and abused me and threw me away like rubbish. I have since dated very few girls, sticking to a possibly safer method of men. I don't know if this me being sensible or a coward. Girls excite me, men calm me, but I will not give myself to anyone again. (this is what I say for last few years, and so far I have not!)
When I entered secondary school, it was a culture shock, going from a very quiet village school to a large place filled with over a thousand people scared me. I was in the top class from day one, still am, and was expected to get very good grades.
Halfway through my exam year, I had a breakdown, and have been 'monitored' ever since. They say mental illness is a disease, but even when you are healed he doctors chase after you to drive you crazy!
I have now given up on school, as it turns out, once a rumour is started, there is no ending it. My friends stick by me, even though I know it is hard for them. When I leave school, I am moving to the city, to anonymity, to peace and to my destiny. My family support me in this, and they say that if I am never to give them biological grandchildren, I should be the best aunt to the ones they have.
My life is in front of me, and I intend to live it to the full, whether with a man, woman, or alone.
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30 / F / Earth
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Posted 4/10/08
A story about me huh? Well okey..

My name is Wanna or Nana, call me any of those names if you want. I am Chinese and mix with a little Indonesia (great grandmother was a Indonesian). I came from a large family, but I don't have a lot of family members in here. Because most of them are in China. I like to stayed home a lot, don't really like places with a lot of people. Not because I am a shy person or anything like that, I just like calm and relaxing places. In college, about to graduate.

I guess that's all i have to say about me, If anyone wants to know more about me. Just feel free to ask, happy to meet new people.

See ya^^
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Posted 4/10/08 , edited 4/14/08
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28 / F / on tour w/ GazettE
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Posted 4/10/08
My life story.... let's begin...

Will I was born in a small town in Arizona, although I still live in Arizona. Growing up I didn't have much friends. The reason being, was that I wasn't physically fit or pretty. But, every year I had one friend, then the following year I lost them and got another. When my father passed away, my family made the decision on living with my grandmother. That was however a mistake, at the beginning my family thought that it was a good idea. But, as time passed it turned out to be the opposite. She turned into a harsh person, we lived without electricity and water. Once in awhile if we were lucky we were able to steal water from her. Even though we had to deal with that pain, there was also the pain that I endured upon myself. My mind was shattered and so was my body. I became unable to rely on others and became more of loner then I already was, sometimes my lonliness would result to an attempt of suicide.

When my family decided to move again, I thought that everything would be fine. Until my cousin came into the picture, she wasn't a pleasant person to be around. In Elementry and Junior High School, she tormented me endlessly. Picking on me, telling boys that I liked them just to make me afraid to be around them, even trying to get into my more personal life. She made me cry and even when I tried to tell my mom or brothers, they thought I was the one starting everything. Since they believed her more then me, I thought that I would take matters into my own hands. By the time I was in 8th grade, I decided to change myself. I became less afraid and stuck up for myself. By that time I also had gotten 4 best friends, who I always thought were like sisters. Sadly, I had ruined my friendship with them by betraying them. I live with that regret everyday, but everday I thank them because without them coming into my life I'd probably still be afraid.

When high school came, I began to speak my mind. I became myself and didn't care what people thought of me. It was still hard, people picked on me because of how I looked. But, I didn't let that keep me down. I tried my best to block out the mean thoughts and rude remarks that kids pushed on me. During my Junior year, I had a life changing experience. I found something to help me become more unafraid to be myself. I found music (Japanese Rock), I found inspiration and power within that music. And also with that music came love. I developed a friendship with someone on the internet, because of him I smile more and am full of laughter. As our friendship grew, I began to develop feelings for him. Now we are very in love and talk everyday. I'm also happy that he might be able to see me in the summer. Which makes me very nervous, but unbelievably excited. Also I've developed a strong bond with a couple friends at my school. My friend Su is my most biggest supporter of me and my love. Without her I don't know what I would do.

I'm glad to say that I'm more happier and now have a more clearer mind. All thanks to Jrock, My boyfriend, and my best friend.
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24 / F / Nansai Osaka, Jap...
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Posted 4/10/08
Hmmm...
well for starters my name is Hikari i was born in Osaka Japan my parents are like super strict so i reallie am never allowed to do anything besides the perfect work hard and studies except for sports and music. birthday is october 10th like naruto[: soo lucky mee hahaha i was born in Osaka Japan and currently still live in Japan. i love music even though i was forced to start music when i didnt want to i hate playing by the music notes since i prefer playing by ear. teachers are mean and strict especially when i mess up in music they make such a big deal about it!!!! for music i can almost literally play any instrument since some of them are soo similar. i can play : piano. violin, viola, flute, picolo, cello, oboe, harp, guitar [mainly just the acoustic one], clarinet, and theres more but i cant think of any hahaha i also love sports soo many that im good at. but my favorite are probably tennis and dance. hmm my parents are literally never home theyre those type of parents that never make it to any of my super important music or sports related things they juss never reallie cared. but too bad now they died so my older brother takes care of me! so things are alright now juss soo many things that i wish i could change.

~Hikari
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24 / F / where my love is
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Posted 4/10/08
I'm a asian chick and has been single my whole life so far. (bcuz i chose 2 ~_~) I luv anime, manga, dramas and games. I try my best not to judge anything at all, even those I really don't like. I'm a sport gal, and I luv tennis. I'm really dedicated. I've been through alot and I'm still learning. I went through 2 confessions that were from real important friends of mine and had 2 reject them cuz I really don't want any of d drama n my life at d moment. I'm crazily n luv w/ celebs such as Lee Jun ki and Vanness Wu, and Hyde, but dats just my fantasy. *_* I'm mostly crazy n luv w/ TeNNIS! ^_^ Riends mean d most 2 me and I really do luv all my friends, even my internet frineds no matter how litto i no. Dats pretty much all.

THNKX 4 sharing all who did! peace!
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about me... thats always so hard.....
well humm... im 19 >.<... male....filipino..being in a filipino my family is super huge... there were so many reletives ... lives in california.... in college (RGFGRRGGG it sux lol).... happily taken...gay.... & my parents are kool with it... as long as i dont do anything in front of them LOL!!! born here .... lemmy see ... Lived in San Diego most of my life... been to the Philippines to see all my ocusins... DEANG there are hundreds of em! I remembering being really active... i was in boy scouts, swimming, karate..elementary school was long and boring... I figured out i was gay when I was 9....i guess i figured out when me and my baby sitter would do stuff...i miss him he moved 2 years later then middle school happened and then I became wild did a lot of shameful things... and when people found out i was gay I got asked out a lot by a lot of my gay college friends hahaha I was like thes guys are just teasing....those were fun times ^.^ I had more older firends when i was in middle school i guess becuase I would always hang out with my cousins and they were in college at the time ....i was wild and free and loved hanging out going out with every guy who wanted to have fun >.< I had so many boy friends & i got my heart broken so many times .....kinda regret that now.. ..... i never really had really long relationships only 2-3 months tops and it was someone new..until.....in 9th grade....my now ex who was 21 at the time told me to get tested casue he got the..... I was really scared... i was like im only frekin 14 wtf am i gonna do... so i got tested... and i was clean.... i was so frekin scared I was like no more guys for me .... i tried going out with girls ..but i just couldnt i dont know why.. i went though 12 girlfriends in 10th grade and i coudnt be with any of them i mean it was fun being with them but i wasnt really attracted to them in that special way ....some were just as gross as some of the guys i went out before....... they only wanted me to buy then things for then and to do stuff with them i was so depressed... until......Nov. 17 Junior year my brother took me out to a movie & dinner ....casue i was depressed over my last break up and I saw HIM! my prince charming ...& My brother new him too!!!! He introduced me to the hottest guy ive ever seen! he was my brothers friend in college .....his nane was Arnel ... DARN~~ what a sexy name ... i was like no.. i cant fall for this dude... i give up on guys.. so i made up a list of excuses in my head... i was like this guy is 27 im 15 (well i was turning 16 in 13 days casuse nov. 30 is my b-day)... hes probably got a girlfriend...etc... as it turns out he had nothing to do so my brother asked if he wanted to join us in watchign a movie.. and i was like Frekin-A!!! so i was sitting right next to him ... with a pointy thing sticking up the entire movie... i was like... im super gross.... wtf....WTF!!!!!...thank some higher power no on noticed it!!! afterwards we went to his house!! i was like NOOOOO in my head!!!!!! I was strange casue we started playing ddr and then after a while started drinking and talking about stuff then i found out he was single... and i was happy and sad at teh same time... I didnt know if he was gay too ... and i was scared to ask... so the night ended and we went home but b4 that he gave me a hug.... and i was like OMFG.....i was like my brother is in the car.....in the car ride i was like he was just drunk or something...so i promised myself i wouldnt fall for him... but the entire night i was just thinking of him....the next day i told my fag hag stephanie what happened.... i dint tell her who ti was though.... so I asked her to help me do soemthing about this.... and she said that i needed to be with a guy and i knew she was right.... and she said that she had someone in mind and that she would set a blind date for me.... i was like WTF!! STEPY I HATE BLIND DATES!! but in the end i still went with it ....stephy knows me too well.... plus she bribed me to go...... the date was a week later Nov, 25 she said to go to PF Cheng's and he would be wearing a red rose.. i was like step.... WTF@.@..how gay is that stephanie... how ... ARRGGG but she forced me to do it..... so... i went in and i immedeatly saw an old man in his 50's with a rose I WAS LIKE FREKKIN STEPHANIE I SAID I LIKE OLD GUYS BUT NOT THAT FREKKIN OLD!!! I ran into the bath room i was like did he see me.... omg... STEPHNIE im going to kill you!!!! I was gonna make a run for it... but when i went out there was a old lady sitting at his table so i was like OOOOHHHH!! AHAHAH!!! so i went in and sat down... at a table iwas so relieved... i was so pissed off.... and then suddenly i turn my head and Arnel was there O.o!!! i was like wtf was he doing here...with a rose on his shirt.... i turned around right away....i was hoping that he didnt see me... but he saw me right away i was the only one by myself... he walked up to me and he recognized me right away .. he was like Alex... hey how are you...and he asked if i was waiting for someone... i was like... yah ,i was on a blind date...and then he was staring stait at me... and said.... did steph,,, AND I WAS LIKE OMFG!!!!!!!! WHAT THE F!!!! I was lost for words...i immediatly said that im gay.... AND THEN HE SAID HE WAS TOO!!! The whole night was really relaxing..... in the end we went back to his place and talked and talked...I was a little scared i was like he's not that way ..... i mean he's 12 years older than me... and then he asked me if i wanted to spend the night... and i was like this guy is just like any other guy gross.... .... i was so bummed... but then he got out a mat and started sleeing on the floor ...and i would get the bed.... I was like AWWWW did see that one coming... the next day he asked me if i would like to go out again.... to make a long story short after 2 weeks we were a happy couple.... my man straitend me up in high school... you see I"m really addicted at things ... sometimes i get too adicted.... my baby saved me ... i dunno why he's with me he's too perfect....he dosent care that i'm 12 years younger than him and i dont care that he's 12 years older than me either... all I know is that everytime were with each other we make each other happy.. actually people think im older than him... >.<!!!! IM LIKE ARRRGGG@@!!!! IM THE YOUNGER ONE!!!!! currently were living with each other... and im very happy ^.^ minus the school of course SCHOOL SUX!!! well i hope you enjoyed my life in a nutshell of my life so far.,.. if you got any questions feel free to message me!
-Alex
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Posted 4/10/08
Hi to all im kris 17 years old from philippines i like yaoi movie or in cartoons but i mostly like movies
im addicted to youtube and CR. im am now studying at the Philippines Women's Collage it sound like it a girl school but it's totally not for girls only school, there are boys too in there...... well i like to chat, eat, sports but i only play badminton because to much movement of my buddy well trigger my asthma.. i dont hav any BF now but im trying to find one I hope many are available there and did i told you that im a 100% gay if you want to know more about me just add me at my YM [email protected]
i dont have any msn or other chatting room account just YM...

and thnx to darklegna4 for inviting me to Darklegna group although I am not active in any event of these group but i know all the things that is happening to this group because i always cheak my groupmates and friends...!!! love you all and hello to junzo and to his new loveydovey love you all and fell free to leave message at my comment box...!! mmmmmmmmmmwwwwaaaahhh
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