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Post Reply ~Passing Clouds and Fading Dreams~
Group Leader
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Posted 4/12/08 , edited 5/3/08
Yes, I'm gonna start writing my stories here before anywhere else... =u=
That way, even if my computer is broken the story won't be destroyed.
I'll come up with a title later.
In my next post, if I'm still awake, I'll start writing something...

Oh, before I forget. For legal purposes: 'This is a work of fiction, any relation to anything real or other works of fiction are entirely coincidental.'
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Posted 4/12/08 , edited 5/10/08
(Alright, when I'm not in the story I'll use these bracket things. Like so...)

The train was coming out of the tunnel now, nearing it's destination. A boy stared outside the window gazing at the scenery.
(Some people may or may not want to see what I drew.
WARNING: What is seen can not be unseen...)

He ruffled his jet-black hair. "Nice scenery." He said to himself, in his other hand was a small, crumpled up note. His gaze shifted from the scenery to the note in his hand, he stared at it with anger. "I swear, if you're wrong about're paying me back for all those hardships..." Flashbacks of his struggle to make it this far surfaced in his mind..... "Some of those things don't even make much sense." He said to himself, he than went back to staring out the window. "You better be right about this, bro."

-flashback moment-
-A couple weeks ago-
"There's really someone out there who can train me?" He asked his elder brother.
His elder brother picked up the kendo stick, he began practicing forward swings. "Yep, you said you wanted to participate in Comiket this year, right? Well, I happen to be an acquaintance of someone who can train you."
He was a little bit skeptical, "How do I know this isn't some kind of prank."
"Oh come on, little brother, would I lie to you?"
"Yes." It didn't even take him 3 seconds to answer. "Growing up you'd humiliate me on a daily basis."
He smiled evilly, "What's life without laughter?"
"It wasn't funny for me."
"Well, despite that, trust me...this stories legit. The person goes by the pen name 'Nagi Yuki.'."
"Okay," He was still somewhat skeptical, "How will I find them?"
"You're going to college around there anyways, so you'll find them anyways."
"What?! You're leaving it all to fate!!!" He had known his brother to let fate run it's course, but this was ridiculous. "C,mon! Can't you tell me anything else, Natsume?!"
"Nope." He answered without hesitation, "If fortune favors you than you'll be rewarded...if not.....Well, Tatsuya...than you're gonna have to work harder than you've ever worked in your life to be ready for Comiket." Natsume laughed out loud after he finished talking...
Tatsuya was on the ground, "I...really hate you..."

-present day-
Tatsuya was now reading a map...made by his elder brother, showing the location of the place where he'd live for a while. Unfourtanetly...his brother's directions sucked and now Tatsuya was lost...
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Posted 4/14/08
(As a heads up, I'm probably gonna be missing for the next week. I know, I know, I'm sorry...but...I have two video games to beat... )
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Posted 4/14/08
ah...good luck with that.
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Posted 4/25/08 , edited 5/6/08
(Okay, I'm back. I guess now I'll start back up with the next part...
Oh, before I forget...I would've been back a week ago...but my computer screwed up, and I wasn't really trying to fix it because I had a lot of studying to do...finals are coming...finals...finals...finals... *Feedle position.*)

Tatsuya was hopelessly lost. He didn't know one sign from another, and his brother's directions......they were in just a bunch of lines. He was so fed up with walking around in circle and backtracking that he just shouted out; "WHO THE HELL MAKES A MAP LIKE THIS?!"
The people around him jumped in shock. They than preceded to avoid him.

Tatsuya was so exhausted from all it finding a location that may not even exist. All he wanted to do now was relax and take a breather, after the sun was setting. From the bridge he was standing on, it was such a perfect view, and he thought so too. 'This is such a nice view.' See, told'jya.
He wanted to relax and stare at this view for as long as he could. So he did. He settled himself in, by leaning forward slightly with his elbows on the railing. The wind blew in the east, it blew Tatsuya's hair and red jacket in the same direction.
Ching-Ching The sound, that pierced through this peaceful silence echoed through Tatsuya's ears. He lifted up his head in the direction of the sound. And, what he saw, was not even 3 ft on his left side away: He saw a pair of shoes and striped leg stockings, standing atop the railing. But there were more attached to the lower body, including a black skirt. Following was two sets of belts crossing eachother. The upper body was...well endowed. What? Any guy would notice that. The clothe worn was a simple light purple sleeved jacket, the sleeves covered the hands, however inside the right sleeve was a bright purple ribbon. But the jacket itself stopped around shoulder length, leaving the shoulders exposed. They're were black straps seemingly connecting something underneath the jacket...maybe another shirt? Fluttering in the wind was long , dark blue/purple hair, at the top of the head were hair clipping with 1-inch tails (not literally. Think hair pig tails.) on both sides of the head. On the sides of her head were headphones, maybe she was listening to music? And finally, on her neck was...a bell collar. (Which is what made the bell sound. Of course you'd know that if you read the entire thing, but I guess you're just 'cooler' than the rest of us... -_- )
The girl noticed the eyes that were lain upon her, so she looked at Tatsuya in the eyes. This girl's eyes were a moonlit-blue color.
There was a long silence between the two, the only thing that can be heard was the wind, and the bell on the loose collar the girl was wearing. Tatsuya wanted to say something, to break the silence...but he was beaten to it.
The girl said, "I love this view too." It seemed, she had known how Tatsuya had felt without even asking. The girl seemed like the silent type. When finishing her sentence, she turned her head back towards the sunset.
Tatsuya looked back to the scenery as well, "Yah...This place has such a tranquil peace about it. It's a rare sight."
"It is." She agreed, she turned her head back towards Tatsuya. "Will you watch with me until it ends?"
Tatsuya's cheeks turned a bright shade of red at the girl's request. 'What...what...what?! Is she...coming on to me?!' Of course you'd think that, being a guy who hardly found a way to talk to girls other than your close friends. And even than you never thought of trying to ask them out...wuss. 'What do I say? What do I say?! Is this a flag moment?! Already?!' Guys who've played a lot of ero games usually think this way. Of course not EVERY INCIDENT between a girl ends in a flag moment. But...I can understand where he's coming from. Well, lets see what he does next. 'What do I say? What do I say?!' Of course he's indecisive, they're no choice boxes for him to choose from. So he has to come up with one of himself. But, it never seemed to cross his mind the longer he makes the girl wait for his answer, that the flag moment could dissapear. This isn't a cut scene after all. 'Wait, if I wait to answer too long I might lose the flag. And this isn't a cut scene after all, it's real time.' Wow genius, figured that out all by yourself? And why are you using gaming grammer? Typical male protagonist. 'And besides, if this girl's a local maybe she can help me find where I'm going?' Oh yah, that too. Why didn't you think of that first...?!
Tatsuya looked back to the girl, "Sure. By the way, what's your name. Mine's Ryuzaki Tatsuya." Tatsuya knew it was common courtesy to introduce yourself first when asking someone's was the only thing about courtesy he remembered.
The girl nodded in acknowledgement. She looked back to the setting sun, "Nankyou Chizuru." That must've been her name...
Tatsuya continued to stare at this girl. 'This kinda can only happen in anime related stuff.' Tatsuya looked back to the sunset. 'But whose complaining?'

(There ya go, next part is complete.
I honestly don't know how long I'll end up writing this...anyways...the writing style is different from my latest ones. Because I'm actually trying...sort of... Be wary of when I focus 100% on writing. It happened once before...I made my entire class cry because it was a sad story but a long one too. All in one night. )
Group Leader
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Posted 4/25/08
(I'm gonna wait for people to read and comment before typing the next part.........that and creating takes time.
What? >_> )
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23 / F / Wishing to be els...
Posted 4/26/08

Kouta_XIII wrote:

(I'm gonna wait for people to read and comment before typing the next part.........that and creating takes time.
What? >_> )

Good luck with creating...^^ And I also hope you did well on your finals...and beating your video games...
I really like the story...Tatsuya is so funny...and the girl looks really, extremely cute the way you described her. You were really good at that...^^ Umm...and I liked the part where Tatsuya was arguing with himself, it was very entertaining ^^
I hope you update soon...thank you for posting your story...^^
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Posted 5/1/08
Its a good story i like it ^^
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Posted 5/2/08
Thanks to all who like it.
Honestly, I didn't think many people would really like it.
I hope I can continue to make it better. X__x ...In the beginning it's sort of easy, than it gets harder as you go on and are tempted to do things that you really don't want to.
I hope I can finish the next entry by tomorrow at least. Because I'll be missing for about 3-4 days...
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Posted 5/3/08
haha! please do so~ its a great looking forward to how u might twist and turn this story around~~
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Posted 5/3/08 , edited 5/9/08
(Okay, here comes the next part. )

-20 minutes later-
An awkward meeting that only happen in anime-related stuff, a lost guy looking for a person who he only knows by pen name, and a pretty girl shrouded in mystery with a strange bell collar...and this only the 3rd part.

As the two entered a book store, Tatsuya got to thinking; 'Would a normal girl ask a guy she just met to accompany her?' Don't question it...just love it. Because this kind of meeting only happens once! 'I wonder what kind of books she reads?' Tatsuya figured that she'd be the type who reads huge, wordy, novels...or very boring book.
Chizuru took a left, into the manga row, she seemed to be looking for something in specific.
O.O "No way..." Tatsuya had not expected her to be the type who liked manga.
Chizuru seemed to find what she was looking for: She stood on her tippy toes and picked out a manga from the highest shelf where the really hard-core stuff was, the title read: "Steel Maidens"
Tatsuya mouth hung wide open! 'That manga was even too much for me!' A manga that had hardcore fan-service was even too much for a guy whose played H-games since he was 14........he borrowed them from his brother's secret stash.
Chizuru turned to the wide-mouthed Tatsuya; "I found what I was looking for." She walked past him towards the cashier.
While waiting in line with Chizuru, Tatsuya got to thinking yet again; 'I can't tell if this girl is a veteran or a newbie.' At this point it was hard to really guess which.
When Chizuru had handed the cashier the book, she got a scornful look from the cashier. "..." She remained silent.
"That'll be 25.00$." A large overpayment.
"What?!" Tatsuya protested, "That's more than twice the amount!"
"It's our store, we set the prices on them."
"It says here, 10.00$." Tatsuya pointed to the front of the book.
The cashier put on a sticker that said, '25.00$' "And now it's 25.00$." He smirked, "If you can't pay, than get out. Though I can guarantee this book isn't sold anywhere nearby." He seemed like a very arrogant jerk.
Tatsuya was about to punch him in the face for being so arrogant.
Chizuru pat Tatsuya's shoulders, "Just let it go. I really wanted this book." Chizuru paid in full.
The cashier looked pissed. "Just get out." What the hell is his problem?
When the two were safely out of the store, Tatsuya had to ask; "What the hell is his problem?"
"He...has his reasons...a lot of people do."

-10 minutes later-
Chizuru had stopped at a ramen shop. She stared with hungry eyes and a drooling mouth at the food, in truth, she had smelled it 3 blocks away and came rushing over here.
The shop owner stared at Chizuru curiously, "...W-Would you like some?" She asked.
Chizuru nodded enthusiastically.
"O-Okay, that'll be 7.00$."
Chizuru reached into her wallet...though the only thing she found in there was about .5 cents. A chibified Chizuru wept in a dark corner... "Th-The ramen..."
'What kind of girl is she?' At first, Chizuru would've seemed like the silent type...but now it didn't seem like it. "I'll pay for it." Tatsuya paid.
Chizuru took a seat so fast, she created her own shockwave. "Ramen...yay." She was happy now.
-time to make ramen-
Chizuru was eating really fast, that Tatsuya had to order 3 more bowls for her. His money was being depleted so fast. 'A girl who likes really hardcore manga and is a glutton.' Tatsuya couldn't tell if he was being blessed...or cursed right now. A light bulb flashed above his head... "Oh that's right, hey, Nankyou-san." He was being formal for some reason.
Chizuru looked up from her 3rd bowl of ramen. "What is it?" She asked while still wolfing it all down...when was the last time she ate...?
"The reason I came to this city, is because I'm looking for someone."
"Really?" Chizuru ordered another bowl, the store owner was so happy that someone enjoyed her ramen so much she gave Chizuru a free one with a bowl that was about twice the size of her head. While wolfing it down once more, she asked "That sounds like something out of a manga."
The two looked to the center of the screen like this;
-normal again-
"Yah...I know." Tatsuya nodded, "I don't know anything about them...even there gender."
"That sounds like more trouble than it's worth. Why're you looking for them." She continued to eat gluttonously, nearly finishing it too.
"I want them to teach me more about manga."
The moment Tatsuya had said that, Chizuru had nearly choked on her food. "M-manga? You're...a manga-ka?"
"Actually, right now I'm more focused on the Gensaku-sha side."
"So, do you by any chance know of someone named...Nagi Yuki?"
Chizuru stopped eating completely. ".....I...." Chizuru looked like she was about say something. Tatsuya could sense the pain in her voice...
"Nagi Yuki is-"
A black blur came rushing between them, Chizuru had been hit with an impact so great it had sent her across the table. Yes, you did read that right...something just randomly came and hit the pretty girl! D<
"Yah, that's her alright." Some random punk wearing a dark blue hoodie was standing there, with a steel rod in hand. Probably found it in the garbage somewhere. He walked towards the fallen Chizuru, "How dare you show your face around our turf." He raised the steel rod. "Well, that's alright...because I'm about to show you the consequences." He was about to swing but someone had stopped him...who else could it be other than our protagonist himself! "Who the hell are you?! Mind your own business!"
"Hey...asshole, I don't know what's your deal with her is. However, theres no way in hell I'm gonna stand by and let you hurt her."
"Pft," he scoffed. "What're you trying to be? Some kind of fricken hero?"
Be true to your role in the story Tatsuya! D< "Nah, just a guy whose gonna kick your ass." Tatsuya's other hand grabbed the punk's arm by the wrist. He turned around with his back against him, and than pulled with all his might, lifting the punk across his back...This was a true way to flip someone over!
The punk hit the ground hard, Tatsuya was still holding the steel rod, he stepped on his arm: On the joint where the torso and arm connect. "How would you like me to break this arm?" From this position, Tatsuya could do it.
Something hit the back of Tatsuya's head, causing him to lose his balance. He was suddenly grabbed from behind by two other punks, his arms were restrained and he couldn't move. Idiot...he let down his guard. Doesn't he realize?! Gangsters aren't real men who fight there own battles individually, that's not what it's about! Being a gangster means overcoming a single enemy with overwhelming force! Hasn't he seen the movies?! HOW MANY GANGSTERS EVER FIGHT ONE-ON-ONE FIGHTS WHEN THEY GOT FRIENDS AROUND?!
The punk got up, "Pft...stupid idiot." He walked towards Tatsuya, "This is what you get for trying to be a hero!" He started punching Tatsuya in the face, Tatsuya counted about 15. "Had enough yet?"
Tatsuya mumbled something.
"What was that?"
"F**k you, ya f***ing f***er." Tatsuya raised his foot and kicked him in the chest! Gangsters never think if he couldn't kick. -_-
The two punks pinned Tatsuya on the ground.
"Alright, that's it...I've had enough of this guy." He pulled out a knife, "I don't like the way his eyes I'm gonna fix that."
Could this be the end of our hero?! O.O
"The ramen...and my manga..." A voice called from nearby. Chizuru was sitting on the ground, bleeding from the head, but didn't seem to notice, she looked to the two ruined things on the ground, "You ruined them both..." Chizuru said in a dark voice.
Earlier, when the punk sneak attacked Chizuru the ramen bowl she was almost done eating had been smashed on the precious food had been wasted. Ironically, it had also spilled on the manga she had bought, making it's durability very weak. Chizuru had dragged it along the table with her, causing it to rip quite a could've been saved if the punk hadn't stepped on it...which made it completely destroyed now. Making it completely unreadable. "You......This is...." she started walking towards the punk. "Unforgivable!" She put the headsets over her ears, "I Chizuru gonna kick your ass!"
While Chizuru gave the speech, Tatsuya thought in his mind, ' now she's the determined hero burning with passion type?'
"Big talk girlie, don't think I'm gonna go easy on you just because your a-"
Chizuru had already delivered a strong right hook at his face. He nearly fell over from the force of it. Also, there was the sound of something cracking meaning it must've really hurt. Chizuru smirked, "Go easy on me? I don't think your best is enough."
He held his bleeding mouth, "You...DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!" He delivered a left hook at Chizuru.
Chizuru just took it like it was nothing, "Oh, I'm sorry were you just trying to hit me or was that just a light breeze?"
He gave her two punches! "Hey, ramen shop lady, when this guy gets back could you tell him his grandmother was just trying to hit me?"
He was really losing it now, "That does it!" He thrust the knife at her face. It cut a little, but Chizuru had grabbed his wrist before it got any deeper.
"Oh my, you would wield a knife at a poor girl like me?" Chizuru was getting cocky, her grip increased. "Now tell me...was that your best or do you have more."
He started kneeling because the pain was so unbearable. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"
"Pathetic." Chizuru let him go. "Your way too green to think you can even wipe my boots let alone fight me." Chizuru took her stance, "Watch and maybe you'll learn something...I'm gonna show you how it's done." Chizuru ducked-and-weaved left and right. She moved so fast the untrained eye might've that there was two or even three of her!
The punk didn't know where to hit! He just stabbed forward,
"Too slow." Chizuru ducked to the left, crouched as low as she could and pushed off with her legs to deliver a soaring upercut! The punk flew straight in the air (For the record, it's an outside shop), but Chizuru wasn't done yet! She spun on her heel and thrust her elbow into the air, the punk landed on her elbow at it's maximum speed. This was one of Chizuru's special moves: Double Rising Dragon!
She let the punk fall on his own, "Have fun in the hospital." She looked to the other two punks who were restraining Tatsuya. She smirked evilly...
"EAT DIRT!!!" D< Tatsuya threw dirt into the eyes of the punk on his left.
"ARGH?!" He let go and tried to get the dirt out of his eye.
Despite the fact that it was dirty play, it still worked. Tatsuya now had enough strength to move! He lifted himself up, knocking the other punk off balance. When he tried to attack, Tatsuya kicked him in a...certain area...the ankle. What'd you think I meant? >_>
It caused the punk to fall. Now there was the last one, Tatsuya rushed forward and rammed him with his shoulder.
The two punks regrouped around there fallen comrade, "Oh man, he's really down." They looked to the girl.
"Heh...You wanna end up like him too?" She took a step forward. Looking very scary, plus the blood at the top of her head and the fact that her clothe were kind torn made her look even scarier.
But the punks merely left their wallets, "Please forgive us! We won't mess with you anymore!" They took there buddy and ran away.
With that all said and done, Chizuru turned to the ramen shop lady, she bowed in forgiveness. "I'm sorry ma'am. I caused you a lot of trouble."
"Uh...don't worry about it young miss." She laughed nervously.
"Guys like that might come back, here," Chizuru wrote a number down on a napkin. "Keep that safe, if they come back around here call me and I'll come fight for you...because...your ramen is the best I've tasted in years!"
The shop owner began to cry tears of joy, "Miss, you are my best customer! You're always welcome here!"
"Thank you, miss ramen shop owner!" <: D
The left over => That's the designation Tatsuya was given. He just stood there, watching the happy moment... "I helped too." Tatsuya mummbled to himself. Male protagonists never get any words of least not here they don't.

(-end of part statements-
Phew, this one was even longer than the 2nd one. I honestly didn't think it would reach this point... X__x
The fight scenes were hard for me.....because poor Chizuru kept getting hit! D>
Chizuru: Not to worry, I'm highly endurable! *Strikes a pose.*
True, but also because it's easier to visibly see a fight scene than to write it out. XP

Also, it's here that Chizuru's personality starts to come out more. From the way people saw her before as possibly the strong silent type. Now people are wondering if she's that, or the oblivious/dumb type who forgets basic things, to maybe even the burning with fire passionate hero type?! The truth is....She's all of those...!
Basically, Chizuru is generally quiet around people she doesn't know too well. Which explains why she didn't say much in her first appearance. Ironically..
Than, she forgets things more often than usual. Like that time she forgot the release date of an H-game she really wanted...when she got there, the game was sold out...but that's a story for another time.
Finally, Chizuru has to be the strong hero type...since she basically didn't even flinch against the onslaught that normal people would've fallen in like a second against.
Originally, I didn't plan much of Chizuru's personality. But, it seems to work so I'm just gonna keep it like that!

Now than, I know there are probably a lot of questions you may have:
Chizuru: Yah! Like why was I suddenly attacked all of a sudden?!
.......That's a secret... =u=
Tatsuya: Why is it I'm the protagonist but Chizuru is stronger than me?!
Because in non-hentai, 90% of girls are always stronger. IT'S TRUE!!! D<
Chizuru: Why did I put on the headset when I fought?!
Because it's cooler that way! >D

Well, there ya go everyone...the third entry of this title-less story. I'll think of a title soon! D>
Well, I hope everyone liked it.
Tell me what you think of it so far, what you think will happen next is also welcome too.
Well, that's all for now. ^u^ )
First Creator
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Posted 5/3/08're actually a pro-writer in disguise right...? Cuse that was so AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not kidding! If I had the time and patience, I'd make a manga using this story!!
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Posted 5/3/08

misterywaters wrote:'re actually a pro-writer in disguise right...? Cuse that was so AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not kidding! If I had the time and patience, I'd make a manga using this story!!

Nope, I'm just a guy with a WAY overactive imagination.
Maybe someday, I'll draw something and post them during certain parts. *Already starting.*
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26 / M / Malaysia
Posted 5/4/08
haha! ur story's cool! u must be what misterywater said... dun lie to us~~
i really like this story..keep it going^^

*thumbs up!*

oh and..the spelling right, it goes as their, not there~ hehe!
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