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Posted 4/16/08
Chapter 2
Something about my Family

I can describe that my life was off to a good start.

My mother, Maria Helena, is a plain housewife. She dedicates most of her time taking care of us and her garden. She appreciates the beauty of nature and talks a lot about plants. She is a serious person, always wanted everything to be placed properly in order, however with a little humor. She did not discipline us by slapping or hurting. It is her kind heart and soft voice that made me remember everything she told us. In a sad and unfortunate event, she died at the age of 44 because of breast cancer. I was 13 years old.

A day before she died, she was just lying on her bed. And there was a time when she told me, ‘It hurts so much but I would struggle it up to the extent of my abilities because I love you. I love all of you. But I still don’t know how long I can hold on. Sometimes I think that maybe it’s the right thing to die this way, to die now…so that you wouldn’t take care of me, you don’t have to worry, and you won’t need to have your time taken just for me. It appears as if I am useless.’ I answered her, trying to control my feelings, trying not to cry, trying not to let her know I’m also hopeless. ‘Mommy, don’t say that. If you say that again it means you don’t love us anymore. You have always been good to me. The love that you gave us is enough. Not just enough! It’s too much… Promise me you won’t leave us. Please?’ But she muttered, ‘Honey, I would promise because I want to although that won’t change anything, unless there is a miracle.’ It was a heartbreaking event. I went to my bedroom to cry while praying.

After the funeral, I had spent my whole one week crying in my room, wishing she was here, and hoping she would help me stop crying. I was scared; I felt like no one would guide me and help me with my problems. Then I went out to sit and watch the waves. I looked at the whole place from left to right. I realized that ‘My place is an area of constant transformation, where land and sea meet, where you can see no end but a beginning of a long journey. My place is my life. It gave me hope. And my mother is my light. She gives me strength, strength to live and go on with or without her.’ Until now, I still think of her. I always miss her.

My father, Vince Aten Vathor, is still alive yet…

When I was 17 my 2 older brothers, Azguard and Beztec, were already married. They moved out of the house which left me, my father, and my brother, Odin Starkad who is a year older than me, in the house.
Posted 4/16/08
Chapter 3
Juvenile me

As a child, I always found myself wondering by the playground.

It’s like my own little palace, where my imagination takes me to a different world, where I can be anyone I want, where I can have anything I like.

There were times when I would play informally in the sand piles. There was a seesaw just the right size for me with comfortable foams to sit in and curved handles. Beside the seesaw was a swing which I couldn’t reach at that time, it was pretty big. And right in front was a huge slide where I hide a lot when me and my brothers used to play hide and seek.

At the immature age of 6, by that particular day… I can still recall that moment when my life started to have a meaning. The sun shone brightly in the wide blue skies, clearer than ever. It was about 10 in the morning. There was a slight wind passing by carrying those beautiful dandelions. I felt the warmth of the sand tickling my feet. And my nose had moistened from the smell of the salty sea. I was alone that time in the playground enjoying the view of the whole place. I have been there for quite a while, maybe half an hour or so.

Then, something stroked me, I mean someone. I was a child though I knew what a kiss is. That thing that hit me is a kiss. Those lips that touched my soft cheek made a kiss. Fast, eager, shocked, but unsure… I turned around to a strange boy. I slapped him in surprise. That boy I don’t know who, he might have been lost. He has a gentle look on his face, so innocently looking back at me. And those mesmerizing but farseeing eyes filled with curiosity. I asked who he was, but he only stood there in silence and moved his head looking down to the ground. For a short while we we’re not speaking. I observed him. He was too shy to speak and didn’t move a muscle.

I draw in all the strength and confidence to talk to him and ask him the things that have been bothering me ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to slap you. It’s not my fault, I was stunned.’

‘Are you going to stand there all day? In silence? Aren’t you going to play? Where is your home? Aren’t you going home? Where are your parents? What are you doing here? Why did you kiss me? Who are you, anyway?’ Then he stared at me with his eyes wide open. ‘If you aren’t going to tell me your name, it’s ok. I really don’t mind talking with a kid like me. Mine is Eulea Vathor. I just want to be friends.’

Finally he opened his lips, ‘You talk too much. I’m sorry too… I kissed you. It’s because… I actually thought you were an angel. You are fair and so beautiful by the way. Can you be my angel?’

I made a grin and replied, ‘It’s ok. I know you didn’t mean to kiss me. And thanks for making me your angel. I never thought I would look like one. So, what are you doing here?’

‘I was watching you for a jiffy, hiding behind that tree. And I’ve mistaken you’re kind and loving face for an angel. I thought that you haven’t noticed me. So, I kissed you hoping you could help me. When you spanked me, I then realized that you’re a kid just like me. So I hadn’t talked out of embarrassment. I am lost. Uhh… I’m not really lost, I ran away from home. I just walked and walked as far away as I could. And now, I’m searching for a place to stay.’

I raised one of my eyebrows in astonishment and said, ‘Wow that is one heck brave thing to do! Even I can’t go anywhere by myself. But it’s bad. Why did you run away?’

He made a sign on his face showing me that he’s mad. ‘I ran away because my parents don’t love me anymore. They always fought and yelled at each other in front of me! – Like no one else sees them.’ With the sound of his voice so pissed off.

I tapped his shoulder, ‘Don’t worry. Everything will be alright. I’m sure they love you and that right now; they’re already looking for you. No parents can stand and be happy while their child is missing. They’re upset, but when the time comes and they stumble on you they won’t be angry! They won’t yell! Instead, they will hug you so tight and they will try not to fight anymore.’

He rolled his eyes like he hadn’t heard me.

‘Stop being foolish! You are their son. And you should begin to act like one. A child loves his or her parents no matter what.’

He came back to his senses and answered me, ‘I guess I miss them. Thanks.’

Then we talked about many other childish things. We spent the whole afternoon in the playground playing and chatting. Eventually, we got tired of playing and sat on the bench. Resting there with him felt like heaven. We watched as the sun was going down to the horizon. He moved and sat closer beside me. I suddenly felt something cold above my hand. When I looked at it, his left hand is placed over my right hand. And he held my hand as the dark orange rays cast by the sun slowly disappears.

It was dimmer. We saw Mr. Sanders, the caretaker, went off to the lighthouse. Then after some time, the beacon of the lighthouse began to glow giving off its bright lights. We decided to stay there since its getting dark. We ran passed the trees, the playground, the aisle, and into the lighthouse. We heard a loud, deep voice. I turned around frantically. It was a huge shadow, I ran near my friend, shaking out of fright. Then closer and closer the shadow came. A face appeared in the light! Thank goodness, it was only Mr. Sanders. Now his voice is clearer, ‘What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here. You know your father’s rules.’ I told him, ‘Promise we won’t be caught. I’m just showing my friend around.’ He uttered, ‘Alright. But be sure to make it quick.’

My friend asked what was that all about and I said ‘Ohh no…It’s nothing.’

We were running up the spiral stairs, racing, pausing, holding at the railings and then running again, trying to grasp our breath from exhaustion. Once we reached the top, all the running and fatigue paid off. We rested for a moment. After that, we gazed at the tranquil waves through the big glass. The stars were bright and they reflected at the surface of the moving water. I can hear the sounds coming from the waves. It was so serene, so comforting.

He grabbed me from my waist closer to him. He looked at me in a way I didn’t expect. And sweet words came out of his mouth, ‘Do you promise that we’ll always be together?’

I asked his question back to him, ‘Do you?’

Confidently, he muttered, ‘For eternity. I promise, cross my heart, hope to die and may God be our witness.’

I was confused, blushing in very red, heart beating fast and then, ‘Yes. For eternity. Promise, cross my heart, hope to die. I swear on every person’s graves.

I was so happy. I had an exciting feeling inside me trying to escape. It felt like the time was still and it would never last, like we were soaring in the endless space and time.

By the time we got hungry, I told him to stay at the lighthouse. I ran to our house not far away. I stopped for a moment and entered. Nobody seemed to notice when I went to the kitchen. I looked almost everywhere for something to eat. I chose to bring a can of Vienna sausage. On my way out of the house, I ceased to take a short stroll in the flower garden. I picked out a blue rose and the thorns from the rose pricked my one thumb. It didn’t hurt so I didn’t mind. I also pulled out a flower of matured white dandelion. I heard the sound of sirens coming from the road outside. I got out of the house and carried the Asian vase on the way. Curious about the sirens, I rushed and I saw the police cars parked all about the road near the playground. I took a shortcut by climbing the large rocks to the playground. Because of scampering, I dropped the vase, but I still got hold of the dandelion. He was riding at the back of the police car looking at me from the rear window. He waved his goodbye. I shouted over and over again as loud as I can ‘Visit me! Visit me some time! If you have time! If I am important to you!’ I presumed he didn’t hear me. At least I tried. After that shouting and seeing the police cars go farther away and smaller in my sight, suddenly my whole world torn apart. I lost my grip of the flower and the tiny feathered cottony seeds from the flower flew away with the wind.

I was a child lost in a forest. That’s how I felt. I sat at the large rocks thinking. I heard some weird hustling sounds. But when I turned around to look, no one was there. I went home and cried. My mother saw me crying. She asked why. Of course, I told her what happened but not the sweetest parts. She then told me that, ‘It’s the most adorable thing; making a new friend. Of course, you’ll always remember and so will he, because this is the first time. But you should also put in your mind that this is not the very last. Honey there is a big world out there, and as you grow, you would explore it. One day you’ll see that you already have plenty of them.’

Those precious and sweet thoughts coming from my mother, is so heart-warming. I could never forget.

I started going to school at grade 1. I found a best friend named Ericka, but we went on our own ways in high school. I saw a glimpse of her in the company of some guy. That guy I’ve been dating. ‘Betrayer!’ I said to myself. Since then, my best friend became the plants and flowers in our garden.
Posted 4/16/08
Chapter 4
At 17

I graduated high school, but didn’t have sufficient money for college.

It was noon in the winter, but not snowing. My brother brought me to the city. Obadera's main illustrious church-in many cases a magnificent, towering Gothic cathedral that stood in the main central area. The church was the city's biggest and most expensive building and a symbol of the religion. The chief government buildings and the marketplace were near the church. Private houses lined the city's narrow, twisting streets. There are bars, malls, and food chains scattered in many parts of the city. Other merchants held markets at the sidewalks, trading food, textiles, building materials, and livestock for Rubies.

I was waiting for Odin outside a small building with a heading called Par_di_e. The word in the heading of this establishment was missing 2 letters. And other people said that the lights don’t work well too. I saw a feathered cottony seed floating with the wind. I followed it and I trapped it between the palms of my hands. I closed my eyes and I wished. I wished for my life to go perfectly fine and to have an adequate strength to surpass any upcoming and present strife. I opened my eyes and released the dandelion that had gone with wind.

My brother grabbed me by my arm, ‘Now, you have a job. Don’t bother to complain. Just wear this. Dress up and hurry.’

‘What kind of job?’

He tightened his grip of my arm. ‘Don’t ask any questions. Just go and find a place to wear the damn dress.’ And then he let me go.

I went inside a mall called Lianda just 2 blocks away. I seek out for a comfort room. I went in. I wore a skin tone tights, a stretched glossy golden miniskirt, a fitting t-shirt that only reaches my navel, and a sleeveless bolero on top. By the time I was done I looked at myself in the mirror. Oh my God! I couldn’t believe it myself. It was me in the mirror dressed up like a prostitute. I really disliked it, but it’s not like I have much choice. Sigh.

Actually, this is the first time Odin helped me to look for a job. I had been applying for several months but no one would take me in.

My brother is absolutely an indolent person. In addition he isn’t fond of helping anybody. The only thing he does most is consume all the tasty food in our house. Maybe, one reason he helped me is that he can’t eat much ever since the day my other brothers departed.

How about my father? Does he have a job? Nah, obviously not. Well… he became negligent and irresponsible about a year after my mother’s death. I presume he couldn’t take it anymore: the pressure, the job, taking care of the house, taking care of us, budgeting, marketing, being a father and a mother (all at the same time).

I remembered that I was in a hurry. I left the comfort room and ran hastily. As soon as I have seen my brother, I proceeded and talked with him.

‘So what’s next?’

‘There is your boss. Go talk with him. I better go home.’

I went to my boss standing near the counter.

‘Boss?’

‘Yes. So, you’re the new hostess? I am Remus Lusid. Your everyday pay will depend on how much the bar will earn. Do your best job. Here is the sign that you will hold. I don’t care what you do. You can sing or dance. The bottom line is that you promote Paradise, invite people in, let people know how fun it can be here. Intiende?’

‘Yes boss’

‘At least I have a job than doing nothing.’ I whispered to myself.

I did my job. It was really embarrassing. I earned 200 Rubies for the day, a very small amount.

When I got home I saw pieces of broken bottle of liquor on the floor. My father was drunk again. I went to the kitchen and gave him the money quietly trying not to make a big scene. Just as I was going upstairs to change my clothes he stopped me by holding my wrist.

‘This is not enough!’

‘How much is enough? Nothing is ever enough for you! I have been out there making money, tired, almost dehydrated while all you’re doing is sitting on that sofa watching TV!? The least you could do is thank me!’

‘Stupida! Is that what you have learned in school? To have no respect?’

He slapped me so hard still holding my wrist with his other hand. My left cheek turned red. Numbness was growing on my face. It doesn’t hurt anymore because this is not the first time he had hit me. I was aiming not to cry, but I didn’t know tears shed from my eyes. All I was thinking of is to get out of the house. I pushed him away from me and forced my wrist out of his hands. I went upstairs and locked my room.

At times like this, when he’s insolent and out of his mind, I just try to understand. I try to be considerate. I try to accept all the pain because he’s my father. I love him and I respect him.

By midnight while everybody’s sound asleep I went to the lighthouse. Upon entering I noticed the explicit curved carvings on the floor. I looked at it with amazement. There were large letterings but I couldn’t understand. I reminisced my real intention of being there. So I walked to the summit, enjoyed the view, and freed my mind.

Looking far away beyond the stars I whispered, ‘I have but a few Rubies. Thy stars in the skies I seek of real means too deep. Why have you given me this path full of sufferings? I am not a slave with an authoritarian master! A slave would be far too much. I am a human being but why I say ill-treated by my own father? Why should one devote herself to a man cannot be trusted? Can’t thy suffering be an illusion that will eventually fade away? If living perpetually means living a life like this, I would not take any offer even if I have a single wish. That single wish will just be drained into the trash of insignificance.’
Posted 4/16/08
Chapter 5
The Meeting


NOT YET DONE>> I SKIPPED A CHAPTER.... hehehe... But I have plans
Posted 4/16/08 , edited 4/16/08
Chapter 6
Insist

I heard voices in my head; pressure had gone highly hallucinating. Voices shouted telling me ‘KILL HIM! He is of no importance. He has cut your bonds the day he gave up being a father. You should give up being his daughter. He gave you pain therefore let him compensate.’

‘KILL HIM! KILL HIM!’ (repeating continuously).

My heart that had suffered with complete contusion was bursting out flying apart forced by a violent emotion up to the most brutal as it maybe. Thus…

‘My hands were drenched with blood. Cold blood slowly dripping down to the floor. The floor that was shiny polished became deluged with blood like rain water. In the midst of the floor where life poured out lies a dead man with his flesh in his stomach scarred and cut. It could have been done by a person with a heart of a stone leaving its victim behind like a savage animal.

And I the very daughter of the dead man holding the murder weapon a knife. It was a dreadful sight. I felt like life stopped flowing through my veins as well. I threw it away where it can’t be reach by my vision.

The windows and doors were all shut nevertheless I felt my hairs go up as wind passes by like a soul up roared trying to escape the four walls of that room.

I could smell the stain of blood spilled on and underneath my clothes, almost dried. I went in the comfort room afraid of what I just did. I was trembling. I opened the faucet. Even the sound of the fast flowing water is so loud it kept on ringing in my ears. I didn’t know what to do next. I just took my clothes off one by one. Because of nervousness all the Clorox fell into the basin of water. I soaked my clothes in it.

I opened the shower faucet. I stayed in the water, howling, shouting, mourning, my heart melted with such unbearable grief and agonizing pain. I sat there putting my arms around my legs. I prayed to God asking for forgiveness for I have sinned dearly. I have killed a man of my own flesh and blood, my father. Thick sticky blood covered the skin of my arms and feet. Hence I rubbed it so hard again and again until there was no more. I was delirious not in a normal state of mind. In spite of everything I could still recall little of what had happened.

I called the police after I came back to my senses. I was still holding the phone not letting it slip out of my hand. I looked for Chordale’s number that I had written on a small piece of yellow paper. The moment I found it I dialed his number.

0…5…6…3…8…0…2…4…7…2…

(Tuuut…tuuut…tuuut…The sound of the phone beeping.) No one was answering so I dialed it again. This instant…

‘Hello?’

I heard his voice on the phone. I wanted to tell him everything but no words came out from me. All I have done was cry.

Police cars arrived near the house. They asked me what had happened but I was so afraid they might put me into jail so I kept my mouth closed. Chordale came to the house after a while and apologized.

‘Sorry, I didn’t get here sooner. I was in a conference. We were talking about a case.’

‘Let’s go to the garden.’ We went to the garden as I have said. I was afraid to tell him but I trust him so much.

‘What happened here? The police said a man was killed. Was that your father?’

‘Yes’

‘Are you alright? Is it a burglar? Did he hurt you? Do you recognize the face of the man who did this?’

‘You are questioning me!’ I couldn’t control myself.

‘Yes, of course I am because I am your friend and I should know. I am a lawyer and I could help. Just tell me what happened step by step, try to remember, I’m not rushing you.’

‘Promise you won’t react too much?’

‘Ok, I won’t.’

I started crying again, I hugged him and said, ‘I th…think I…I killed my father.’

‘Shhh… stop crying. I know it’s hard. Let’s focus first on what happened.’

So I told him that, ‘I came home from work. I went to the kitchen and my father was under the influence. He hurt me as usual but this time it’s excessively much. Maybe because I left my job and he drank too much he slapped me left and right, punched me many times as if I was an enemy. I mean he almost killed me for Christ sake. Everything became black. The next thing I know is that I was holding a knife. He was dead in front of me…’ And I also told him the rest of the things that occurred.

‘Don’t worry. Tell everything to the police officer. I’ll handle your case.’





This I haven’t said in the court. ‘One more thing, doesn’t Mr. Sanders know your father’s rules? He must have known how vicious your father can be.’ He added.

At first I didn’t notice how strange the statement was. When I did I thought to myself ‘I remember hearing something like that before…’





I now stand here before you and I have told you everything even if it meant losing my pride and dignity.

Life has been cut.
Blood has been shed.
I cannot undo it.
Yet, if I can I will.’

Those were the last statements I said in court. Everybody looked at me hesitating and unsure if I was telling the truth. Moreover, one of them looked at me as if he wanted me to be convicted and to undergo death penalty. I hadn’t seen him since.

The trials took for about 2 months which means I have spent 2 months in jail. Chordale was very supportive and caring. He had always visited me everyday in jail and brought food and clothes. Because he had been my lawyer I didn’t have to pay him.

My plead was not guilty. I thought that we have a strong case because my father had a history in jail. Furthermore, it was only self defense and Mr. Sanders also testified that my father is strict, abusive, and violent.

In the end when everybody’s done making their closure speeches, the judge told us that the jury will debate for the result.

Throughout recess I stayed in our private room. How absurd? I was there sitting alone tensed of what was going on but no one stood there beside me. I felt like no one cared.

Subsequently the most awaited time had come.

‘Case of Eulea Vathor versus the Democratic Republic of Laticia is now in session.’

‘The jury’s verdict has arrived.’

‘Based upon the admissible evidences and the witness’ statements the jury has found the defendant Eulea Vathor acquitted of the charge Murder in the Second degree. Case closed.’

After hearing the verdict I felt so relieved and happy. For a long time I have been tied but now I am free.
Posted 4/16/08
still have a lot of chapters... still not done
Posted 4/16/08
Ok fine, he said he over-reacted and said sorry.....

You can unlock this forum when u want to post.... and then lock it again..

MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
Posted 4/16/08
MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
Posted 4/16/08
MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
Posted 4/16/08
MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
Posted 4/16/08
MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
Posted 4/16/08
MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
Posted 4/16/08
MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
Posted 4/16/08
MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
Posted 4/16/08
MODS please lock the Patients forum for now, so that they will apply for the jobs. Thank you.
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