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Do "nice guys/girls" really finish last?
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27 / M / Toronto
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Posted 1/18/07

drunkonshadowsxx wrote:


Crossy wrote:


drunkonshadowsxx wrote:

I've always been attracted to the nice guys. My ex, was one of the stereotypical nice guys. The story is though, that he cheated on me, and broke my heart in many ways. I think it really matters whether or not people want to get to know others for who they are, or they base it on looks, then personality. And as said before, by azrael, the assholes just ooze confidence. I don't want to re-write what he wrote. x_x
But... yeah. :)


I wouldn't really define that as nice... or anything close to it, and if he's your ex he didn't really finish last... *shrugs* I just tend to say whats on my mind. ^_^



I know. But he was the stereotypical "nice guy". He was a nerd, and alot of girls "just wanted to be friends" when it came to him. But he had a whole diffrent side. x_x


lol that is not a nice guy...but a jerk...asshole lol whichever u prefer

either way nice guys/girls do finish last cuz in the end everyone will choose a proper person to marry.....i hope
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28 / F / NY
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Posted 1/18/07
I don't think being rude to a girl get them interested, unless it's like a certain type of girl, if you have done that to my friends, she would have curse you out in 8 different langues, she can only speak foal words for five of them,lols
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Posted 1/18/07

Do0mAid wrote:

Question to Mauz and Azrael, what kind of things did you say to them? Was it teasing or all out rudeness? Examples?


Both. Just being an asshole in general with two girls (using lame lines, insulting, ignoring her in a rude manner, etc.) and then I remembered doing it in a teasing manner to a third girl.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy

Some research results from that wikipedia link

* Botwin, Buss & Shackleford (1997)[10] found that women had a higher preference for surgency and dominance in their mates than men did, in a study of dating couples and newlyweds.

* Urbaniak & Killman (2003) constructed vignettes of four hypothetical dating show contestants: "Nice Todd" vs. "Neutral Todd" vs "Jerk Todd" vs. "Michael," who was created to be a control. "Nice Todd" described a "real man" as "in touch with his feelings," kind and attentive, non-macho, and interested in putting his partner's pleasure first. "Neutral Todd" described a "real man" as someone who "knows what he wants and knows how to get it," and who is good to the woman he loves. "Jerk Todd" described a "real man" as someone "knows what he wants and knows how to get it," who keeps everyone else on their toes, and avoids "touch-feely" stuff. "Michael" described a "real man" as relaxed and positive. In two studies, Urbaniak & Killman found that women preferred "Nice Todd" over "Neutral" over "Jerk Todd," relative to "Michael" even at differing levels of physical attractiveness. They also found that for purely sexual relationships, "niceness appeared relatively less influential than physical attractiveness." After acknowledging that women's preference for "niceness" could be inflated by the social desirability bias, especially due to their use of verbal scripts, they conclude that "our overall results did not favor the nice guy stereotype."
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29 / M / Dementia
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Posted 1/18/07
Eh, how can you consider yourself a nice guy when it seems that the only reason your nice is to get some? Be nice because you are a nice person, not because you believe that is what everyone wants and expects of you. And ya, I expect that girls do sometimes go after the jerks, but just like guys, maybe they are just trying to find their type.
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30 / M / US
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Posted 1/18/07
ah dammit mauz you beat me to it. I'm going to go hang myself. :(

I like this line two quotes:

One difficulty in studying the "nice guy" phenomenon is due to the ambiguity of the "nice guy" construct.

Herold & Millhausen (1999) claim that while nice guys may not be competitive in terms of numbers of sexual partners, they tend to be more successful with respect to longer-term, committed relationships.
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77 / F / in the club
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Posted 1/18/07
^^^ Stupid.

The fact that guys are experimenting on girls really freaked me out. (condemn them!)

Back to the topic – Women don’t ignore “nice guys”; Nice guys only thinks they were ignored cos of the what- we-so-called gap. The girl/guy might be just awkward to start or so. Guys think that they got girl’s attention by experimenting(which I can not allow). Being boorish sometimes cut the space between the two opposite sex; so most likely, the two became comfortable to each other and begin interacting – which most of the guys always misapprehend.

Nice guys never finished last; as a matter of fact, women want someone like them.
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Posted 1/18/07
"Herold & Millhausen (1999) claim that while nice guys may not be competitive in terms of numbers of sexual partners, they tend to be more successful with respect to longer-term, committed relationships." that's why I find this "dilemma" kind of uninteresting.
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27 / M / Toronto
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Posted 1/18/07

simpleyesa wrote:

^^^ Stupid.

The fact that guys are experimenting on girls really freaked me out. (condemn them!)

Back to the topic – Women don’t ignore “nice guys”; Nice guys only thinks they were ignored cos of the what- we-so-called gap. The girl/guy might be just awkward to start or so. Guys think that they got girl’s attention by experimenting(which I can not allow). Being boorish sometimes cut the space between the two opposite sex; so most likely, the two became comfortable to each other and begin interacting – which most of the guys always misapprehend.

Nice guys never finished last; as a matter of fact, women want someone like them.


the fact is most women are shallow
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34 / F / pwning the world.
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Posted 1/18/07
Usually I would think that "nice guys" are pushovers so they would let the other guy get the girl first.
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27 / F / somwhere in calif...
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Posted 1/18/07
for me nice, shy guys are relationship material... outgoing guys are more of friends to me
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77 / F / in the club
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Posted 1/18/07

reikiaddict wrote:


simpleyesa wrote:

^^^ Stupid.

The fact that guys are experimenting on girls really freaked me out. (condemn them!)

Back to the topic – Women don’t ignore “nice guys”; Nice guys only thinks they were ignored cos of the what- we-so-called gap. The girl/guy might be just awkward to start or so. Guys think that they got girl’s attention by experimenting(which I can not allow). Being boorish sometimes cut the space between the two opposite sex; so most likely, the two became comfortable to each other and begin interacting – which most of the guys always misapprehend.

Nice guys never finished last; as a matter of fact, women want someone like them.


the fact is most women are shallow


The fact is most women are shallow; as men do.
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30 / M / US
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Posted 1/18/07

mauz15 wrote:

"Herold & Millhausen (1999) claim that while nice guys may not be competitive in terms of numbers of sexual partners, they tend to be more successful with respect to longer-term, committed relationships." that's why I find this "dilemma" kind of uninteresting.


And...where is this...dilemma? The solution is obviously to have a committed relationship while having a lot of flings.

Anyway, seriously, I prefer committed relationships. Similar to what I have typed before, the hand is mans "best friend", the only problem is that it is exceedingly lonely.
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26 / M / The World
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Posted 1/18/07
mmm....well i don't believe in such things as a nice guy finish last...( is just as wat mauz15 said)....but i do get a lil worried for nice girlz cause sometime they r being use by jerks...then again that goes for nice guyz as well....
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37 / M / Would like to be...
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Posted 1/18/07
i see ppl putting to fine a point on this question.....already its sexual...
the way i heard it was...."nice guys are just fine.....you gota have someone to take advantage of...but, they always finish last"
in the shrude business world this isnt a debate, its a fact
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29 / M / Cambridge UK
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Posted 1/18/07
Lol nice guys dont have to finish last believe it or not as far as i know women dont go looking for the type of guy that will beat them around if they step a foot outta line and leave them a single mother (even if it seems that way .) Scummy guys are just generally more outgoing and self confident where as the steriotypical nice guy is alil shy and hard to get to know. Being a nice guy whos charismatic, over-confident and alil bit perverted is a winning combination XD
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