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Do "nice guys/girls" really finish last?
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27 / M / Toronto
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Posted 1/18/07

simpleyesa wrote:


reikiaddict wrote:


simpleyesa wrote:

^^^ Stupid.

The fact that guys are experimenting on girls really freaked me out. (condemn them!)

Back to the topic – Women don’t ignore “nice guys”; Nice guys only thinks they were ignored cos of the what- we-so-called gap. The girl/guy might be just awkward to start or so. Guys think that they got girl’s attention by experimenting(which I can not allow). Being boorish sometimes cut the space between the two opposite sex; so most likely, the two became comfortable to each other and begin interacting – which most of the guys always misapprehend.

Nice guys never finished last; as a matter of fact, women want someone like them.


the fact is most women are shallow


The fact is most women are shallow; as men do.


yep i agree to that as well
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76 / F
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Posted 1/18/07
Well, if nice guys/girls finish last, one day they could team up and destroy whos in "first" and then overcome all! After all, if your in last, all you can go is up! SO perhaps in the long run, they're not "last" they're just somewhere squeezed in the middle, (But then you dont know whos at bottom) Plus, who needs "last" and "first" anyways,
Plus nice people suck in other people, like a vaccuum!! So perhaps they shall one day take over and they'll be on..top.
(Has no idea what shes talking about)
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34 / M / 中国
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Posted 1/18/07

Do0mAid wrote:

Question to Mauz and Azrael, what kind of things did you say to them? Was it teasing or all out rudeness? Examples?


Oh I was horribly rude to her. I'd refer to as an idiot, whore, slut, talk down to her, ignore her, or just blow her off in general. I did whatever I could to make sure there was no misinterpreting it as teasing. And this was typically in large groups when she was present. Mainly social situations, or downtime at work - in professional settings like meetings or what not I would just ignore her.

Was it cruel and unfair? Perhaps, but after years of contiunal rejection and seeing the asshole (thats not oppinion - I'm talking about guys who are physically abusive, take adavantage of them financially, or run off at the first sign of kids) walk away with the girl, I didn't feel terribley giulty about it. It sounds cruel since she showed interest in me, but she'd never have thought twice about me if I was nice and polite to her like I usually am to women. If she had been offended or (rightly) upset I wouldn't have said the things I'd said. Instead... it's like I was pouring honey in her ear. This was just random too - just a new fairly attractive girl who showed up.

I think there are some misconceptions about what I said. I don't beleive ALL women are like what I described, it's just the results of one random experiment and observations I've made over the years. There are certainly plenty of exceptions, and I pointed friends who have wonderful wives. I pointed out I was generalizing with my description. My experiences are based as much (if not more so) off of post high school as high school. I'm not horridly unnatractive (my pic is buried in the post your pic thread for reference), and I don't exclusively approach attractive women, I'll approach pretty much anyone, though I do tend to steer clear of extremely overweight women. Nor was I viewing this subject strictly in terms of sex, but more along the lines of relationships.


simpleyesa wrote:
Back to the topic – Women don’t ignore “nice guys”; Nice guys only thinks they were ignored cos of the what- we-so-called gap. The girl/guy might be just awkward to start or so. Guys think that they got girl’s attention by experimenting(which I can not allow). Being boorish sometimes cut the space between the two opposite sex; so most likely, the two became comfortable to each other and begin interacting – which most of the guys always misapprehend.

Nice guys never finished last; as a matter of fact, women want someone like them.


I don't buy that for a minute. I've had far too much experience getting needlessly shot down and rejected regardless of to what degree I know the girl in question (maybe she is a complete stranger, maybe she is someone I've gotten to know over an extended period of time), but when I'm verbally abusive, all of a sudden I'm magically attractive?

I'd like to actually meet one girl in the flesh who is honestly looking for a nice guy. Not "eventually" not "down the road," but before they screw their life up. Most girls don't seem to be terribley interested till they've either finished sewing their oats (which keeps getting later and later in life it seems) OR their life has crashed and fallen apart around them.
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28 / F / Michigan, USA
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Posted 1/18/07

reikiaddict wrote:


simpleyesa wrote:

^^^ Stupid.

The fact that guys are experimenting on girls really freaked me out. (condemn them!)

Back to the topic – Women don’t ignore “nice guys”; Nice guys only thinks they were ignored cos of the what- we-so-called gap. The girl/guy might be just awkward to start or so. Guys think that they got girl’s attention by experimenting(which I can not allow). Being boorish sometimes cut the space between the two opposite sex; so most likely, the two became comfortable to each other and begin interacting – which most of the guys always misapprehend.

Nice guys never finished last; as a matter of fact, women want someone like them.


the fact is most women are shallow


I hate to sound sexist, but overall I think men are more shallow. Women can be shallow by all means, but I think men are MUCH more likely to disregard a female just because she's less than beautiful. At least it seems that way in my experience. Granted my experience has been all teenage boys. Maybe some of you 20 somethings can show them up =P? Really though, honestly answer this question, how many girls have you asked out because you really liked her despite the way she looked?

and I'm with simpleyesa on the some women want nice guys
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25 / M / The World
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Posted 1/18/07
^mmm i have to kind of agree with ya there.....we men do tend to be more shallow(this is coming from my point of view) i mean we guyz have guyz talk and usually they guys would just say..."Man that girls hot or Man shes fine as hell" i admited i sometime say that as well. but having a decent looking girlfriend with an awsome personality is good enough for me.
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29 / M / US
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Posted 1/18/07
Hum looks like ill have to try the abusive thing sometime.

"(Imagine a very crude comment, as I would get in trouble for posting it)"

I'm just waiting for them to pour in then. Them as in the low life riff raff and people with serious psychological issues.
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28 / M / The Wastelands
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Posted 1/18/07
This is all part of the duality of human nature. While a woman will say she wants a sweet, caring, nice guy who will love her forever and never cheat on her and support her for life; She will often actually date a guy who exudes confidence and dominance, because those are traits that are biologically attractive. In tribes of old, the dominant, confidant male would get the most food for him and his family, thus ensuring a better chance of survival for his offspring; and at our most primal level, we are just ensuring that we reproduce and our offspring survive. Many times women force themselves to give nice guys a chance, and are pleased with the fact that they finally have someone that meets their emotional needs. Although sadly, this only happens after many failures with dominant confidant men.
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26 / F / Mass
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Posted 1/18/07

mushroomjay wrote:

Doomy, stop telling people the story of my life. X D

I'll say that the desperately (me), or naturally (me again) people finish last. It just so happens we plain suck. We're often physically VERY unattractive (I know everyone wants a 235lb. beast holding their hand...) Are often overlooked for someone confidentially "superior. You see I lack a lot of confidence. Feel free to ask Drunkon, or Doomy about some of my past events that messed that up. I know, and I'm sure I will continue to fail at life, social lives, and everything.

God I'm glad I vented that...


I'll hold your hand!
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Posted 1/18/07

Do0mAid wrote:

I hate to sound sexist, but overall I think men are more shallow. Women can be shallow by all means, but I think men are MUCH more likely to disregard a female just because she's less than beautiful. At least it seems that way in my experience. Granted my experience has been all teenage boys. Maybe some of you 20 somethings can show them up =P? Really though, honestly answer this question, how many girls have you asked out because you really liked her despite the way she looked?

and I'm with simpleyesa on the some women want nice guys :phew:


Couldn't disagree more, it's pretty even. My current girlfriend refused to go out with me twice because she found the Metalhead look (which I barely have) ugly, and she told me she never liked Latinos. Third time was the charm.

About asking out someone only because I like that person, I would say 2 times.
Do0mAid, would you go out with me? I really like you
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28 / F / Michigan, USA
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Posted 1/18/07
XD I would, but your girlfriend would kick my ass. I'm not a fan of stealing boyfriends either =P. I'm glad your girlfriend changed her mind though, it seems ridiculous to me that someone would actually turn someone down based on appearances. I mean even if you're just thinking about it selfishly, imagine the possibilities you're discounting.

Metalhead though? Really? I never would have thought to guess that one.
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27 / M / Tx
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Posted 1/18/07
no i dont think so, thats why evil will always loose to good
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Posted 1/18/07
^^ I am sure Plato, Marx, and Socrates would have been metalheads
and I'm the kind of metalhead that looks like a normal guy, and yet actually takes the effort to look for good metal only. don't confuse me with the korn mallcore/hot topic stereotype.
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76 / F / in the club
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Posted 1/18/07

azrael910 wrote:
I don't buy that for a minute. I've had far too much experience getting needlessly shot down and rejected regardless of to what degree I know the girl in question (maybe she is a complete stranger, maybe she is someone I've gotten to know over an extended period of time), but when I'm verbally abusive, all of a sudden I'm magically attractive?

I'd like to actually meet one girl in the flesh who is honestly looking for a nice guy. Not "eventually" not "down the road," but before they screw their life up. Most girls don't seem to be terribley interested till they've either finished sewing their oats (which keeps getting later and later in life it seems) OR their life has crashed and fallen apart around them.


If you say so; I’m just hoping you’ll not gonna eat what you have just said.
Posted 1/18/07
I'm a nice guy, but I'm not one because of women. I don't do it for points. I do it because it's what I want to do. I give away my time and energy to the people I care about because it is mine to give. And yes, my success with women is terrible. And my big sis is studying to be a shrink and she told me that "I don't trust myself with happiness." But a whole trail of people I've met over the years have trusted me with their happiness now and then. So I'm much obliged to "give the milk away for free" whenever I want to, if that is what I desire.

People who seek complete fufillment in romance are blind. People who listen to their whatnots and not their hearts and minds are fools. Love is not a game, courtship has no rules. I forget where I heard it, but "we accept the love we think we deserve". This is the death knell of the nice guy and the reason mauz15 and azrael910 found success in their experiments, the women were comfortable recieving what they thought they deserved. I do not blame women for not yet knowing when The Price is Right (cue music!) because, like most guys my age in the "Nice" camp, I wouldn't know what to do with an interested customer even if I did have a rulebook.

We are young. People live way too damn long. See through the mating game, I promise there is more. Though anime won't tell you this, mind you. A lot of people are telling you that healthy mating is your number one priority. These people suck, don't listen to them. Figure out what you want on your own. My path just happened to be the one of the Nice Guy, but I know that it is a gift and not a curse.
Posted 1/18/07

azrael910 wrote:
I'd like to actually meet one girl in the flesh who is honestly looking for a nice guy. Not "eventually" not "down the road," but before they screw their life up. Most girls don't seem to be terribley interested till they've either finished sewing their oats (which keeps getting later and later in life it seems) OR their life has crashed and fallen apart around them.


Nice guys don't exist to clean up. You don't have to settle for that. If you think that is what you deserve you are also wrong. Granted, people are less lucky and don't figure things out till later, but anyone out "wild oat spreading" is a fool. You can be married and still have oats! There is more to the situation than just oats when it comes to mating for life, but you deserve more than a coffinmate in the game of love.

The world is getting bigger, so it takes women a while to figure themselves out. I think they are more likely to understand that they must start with themselves before moving to another. There are plenty of women who are, rather than just sewing oats, are planting seeds for their future, if you will allow me to drag this metaphor to the point of physical pain. I'm kinda waiting to find someone going my way who is in my range, but I'm not letting myself lose sleep over it.

But I'll be sure to tell off any woman who tries to "settle down" with me, because that isn't what love is about. When you love someone, you two work things out. You both don't just give up and act miserable together. I'd rather be lonely than hopeless.
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