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Do "nice guys/girls" really finish last?
5371 cr points
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27 / M / Here
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Posted 1/18/07
Why yes, nice guys do finish last, myself included.
But it doesn't really matter.
I never really understood that "finishing last" part. I mean you can really only finish last if you were actually trying to finish. Most nice guys aren't really doing something to gain anything, they're just doing it to be..... nice.
Man I confused myself with that one.
What I mean is nice guys only finish last in the minds of others who think that the nice guy was doing something nice to gain something but really he wasn't
13014 cr points
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76 / F / in the club
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Posted 1/18/07

gopherthegold wrote:
The world is getting bigger, so it takes women a while to figure themselves out. I think they are more likely to understand that they must start with themselves before moving to another. There are plenty of women who are, rather than just sewing oats, are planting seeds for their future, if you will allow me to drag this metaphor to the point of physical pain. I'm kinda waiting to find someone going my way who is in my range, but I'm not letting myself lose sleep over it.

But I'll be sure to tell off any woman who tries to "settle down" with me, because that isn't what love is about. When you love someone, you two work things out. You both don't just give up and act miserable together. I'd rather be lonely than hopeless.


^What I have bolded is all I want to say; nothing more, nothing less.
3315 cr points
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29 / M / Canada
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Posted 1/18/07
depends on the situation, but i assume they finish last because people take advantage of them..hence why they finish last
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28 / M / The Land of Oz
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Posted 1/18/07
This question is very hard. I was nice guy but I had a lot of confidence. I was kinda popular but I never had that one girl. They just wanted to be friends. I guess it was because they could always confide in me. They just felt that I was friend material i guess.
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29 / M / Florida
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Posted 1/18/07
@gopherthegold

We're a lot alike!

I'm also the nice guy, not because I'm looking for those brownie points... But because of the way I was raised. At least, I think thats why I'm the nice guy. I've never really asked myself.. ^_^

I'll agree that I'm shy and it's hard for me to approach people; I imagine that it's the same for them. But once you get to know me, it all changes. I like to think that I'm a pretty complex person with a fairly deep personality. I don't have any problem at all striking up a conversation with someone I'm already friendly with.. But the acquaintance-to-friend period is rather extensive for me. So my selection is rather limited.

My choices: They don't have to be beautiful (though, I do prefer some physical attractiveness).. I find I can't talk with girls that are shallow or "lacking" mentally. They don't have to be smart, but they should to be interesting. Other than that, I'm pretty well set.

I wouldn't say I'm extraordinarily handsome; but I'm not ugly. I'm fit, 6'2'', blonde hair, blue eyes; 220lbs (large frame(and it's not just an excuse. :P)).. But I'm still not completely successful at attracting the opposite sex. Actually, not successful much at all. I don't take the time to even strike up a conversation; so they never get the chance to know how -absolutely- amazing I am! *still isn't full of himself* :P

It's my own fault. As with most nice-guys. Lack of confidence. Social anxiety. The insatiable urge to hump your neighbors leg. The fear of brooms. I'm sure you all get my point.

But yea.. I'm not going to demean myself in order to attract a female. I am who I am and you can like me for me or you can go play with the other kiddies. I really don't care.

Though, if you're interested feel free to buddy me! If nothing else I'll send you pictures of cute kittens that will make you smile! ^_^ They make me smile.

I saw the cutest darndest kitten in the world! Right here:
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/32494030/?qo=22&q=kitten&qh=boost%3Apopular+age_sigma%3A24h+age_scale%3A5
Posted 1/19/07
Holy crap.
People actually read what I post?

Anyone wanna talk about nice girls? I feel like these are more rare, for some reason (probably sexual prejudice / grass is always greener complex...) I tried to talk about them but it came out with the consistency of mucus. Why do nice girls finish last?
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28 / M / The Land of Oz
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Posted 1/19/07

gopherthegold wrote:

Holy crap.
People actually read what I post?

Anyone wanna talk about nice girls? I feel like these are more rare, for some reason (probably sexual prejudice / grass is always greener complex...) I tried to talk about them but it came out with the consistency of mucus. Why do nice girls finish last?


I believe because guys usually go for the easy girls. It takes time to get to know a nice girl.
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29 / M / Florida
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Posted 1/19/07

gopherthegold wrote:

Holy crap.
People actually read what I post?

Anyone wanna talk about nice girls? I feel like these are more rare, for some reason (probably sexual prejudice / grass is always greener complex...) I tried to talk about them but it came out with the consistency of mucus. Why do nice girls finish last?


Absolutely.. I met this girl a while back.. I actually went to high school with her and she was the nice-girl type. Though, I didn't really know it at the time. After we graduated, I left to go to school elsewhere; came back 6monthes later and started working at a big company near where we lived originally.. While I was waiting to go to my orientation, I saw her there.

This girl has everything. She's beautiful, and smart. Though, you wouldn't know she was smart unless you really got to know her.. Her whole outlook and perspective on things is so different than anyone else I have ever met. She is genuinely kind and considerate, and even though she possesses so many wonderful qualities, she still isn't arrogant or a stereotypical "prep".

At first, I thought of her as a normal friend. We got along great, loved all the same things, and were absolutely perfect together. But the problem was, she was with someone else and, try as I might, I couldn't get her to leave him. I would never criticize the guy she was with, I have a lot of respect for him. They have been together for 6 years! She just turned 20, mind you. He is 21.

So besides everything else, she is still loyal. Even after everything I could offer her. I didn't forcefully try to break the two up. She knows this as well as I do. We know each other better than we know ourselves.

I relocated. Let her know that I couldn't wait for the guy she was with to ruin the relationship. We still email each other ever day and she knows my number if she ever needs to talk to me. My avatar is a picture of her; a portrait I had made.

Full version here: (I'd rather you not steal this. Thanks!)
http://www.beyondsubstantiality.net/images/roxanne.jpg

So.. all-in-all. I found the perfect girl and left her.. She was a nice-girl. Perfect in every aspect.

But now that I'm done spilling and everyone knows my life a bit better, nice-girls seem to be much better than the not-so-nice girls. From my experience/personal preference. Not-so-nice girls are usually too arrogant (even though most are hot), but whats the point.. It may be eye candy, but even candy sucks if the center is bitter.

Am I completely off-topic? It's 3:30am.. I gotta get to sleep.
Posted 1/19/07

Satoshi_Jiro wrote:

So.. all-in-all. I found the perfect girl and left her..


I can see why you like anime. I've been specifically studying japanese cinema for about a year now, and the cultural ideal of love that most can relate to is often quite bittersweet.

But that wasn't the question I asked; your avatar-lady doesn't sound like she is currently finishing last

Do nice girls finish last? If they do, is it for a different reason than men? Are there different expectations of niceness varying by gender?

I have to sleep too but I hope to find insight later.
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29 / M / Florida
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Posted 1/19/07
Well, she's certainly not finishing last in my book. But when it comes down to it, she is exactly like me. Shy, non-social.. She doesn't really tackle the conversation department and when it comes down to it, she falls behind when placed with other females.

It's mainly due to her personality; guys find her harder to associate with because of her personality. Most guys will actually settle on the easier girls because they aren't looking for a relationship.

Though, it seems nice-girls have a much easier time than nice-guys because.. In the end.. A normal guy won't care whether she's a nice girl or not.. They just shoot to kill and if they hit their target they're satisfied.

I'm a little curious about this as well.. I only have my very limited insight into the situation.. Hopefully a female will respond and validate some truth to something.. anything..

^_^ Good night.
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29 / M / Sask-at-chew-an,...
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Posted 1/19/07
I think Nice guys girls are people that get taken advantage of ie rebound boyfriends girlfriends. Thats thro highschool but as people get older they start to realize that they shoulda stuck with the Nice guy/girl.... and when a nice person hits a certain age they'll have to beat of potential suitors with a stick.
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29 / M / Vienna
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Posted 1/19/07
hmmmm..relationship heh?
i have no idea whether i am or not a nice guy
i just never cared about relationships and stuff
to be honest i never had any "girlfriends", but of
course some sort of "physical contact", maybe i
never wanted to be chained or something... i dunno
but guys keep on talking, i am learning with every sentence you write!
28685 cr points
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28 / F / Michigan, USA
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Posted 1/19/07
I think nice girls finish either due to shallow reasons (though a guy who would pass up a nice girl for that isn't worth dating anyway), or because she's seen as the "friend" girl. The one that gives advice, and you can hang out with to play video games, not the one that you take on a date. Partially though I think they let themselves fall into this role with little to no resistance, so they shoulder some of the blame. Also because they're shy the chances of them initating any sort of conversation/flirting/date-asking is little to none.
Posted 1/19/07
Yes, nice people do indeed more or less finish last.....because they always put others ahead of themselves in most of the time that results in that person being used for their kindness....is it right?....Probably not...but its very easy to exploit and get what you want from someone who has that kind of personality


Trevor (OP)
66185 cr points
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27 / F / UK
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Posted 1/19/07
'The looser that didnt cheat may never smile with joy at a trophy; yet they can smile at themselves. Now which is better?'
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