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Do "nice guys/girls" really finish last?
Posted 1/19/07

s_j_b wrote:

'The looser that didnt cheat may never smile with joy at a trophy; yet they can smile at themselves. Now which is better?'


You are speaking of the satisfaction of the goal v.s. the satisfaction of the journey. We all know which is the richer.

I always liked the expression "Nice guys finish last" because I am 7.68% a pervert. ^_^
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27 / M / Toronto
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Posted 1/19/07
Let's just face it, there are more shallow people in this than those who are not. Even if we say that some women or men actually yearns for a "proper" person, a big chunk of the population will not, at least by the time they are "mature." But by the time they realize their mistakes, those nice guys and girls would've chosen another person and they've got nothing left. All I have to say is that who cares if nice guys/girls finish last, it's their loss not ours.
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26 / M / The Castle That N...
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Posted 1/19/07
Wel thanks for you'r concern reikiaddict
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27 / Martian / Estonia
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Posted 1/19/07
A rather intriguing thought.(On the journey vs goal argument) Finishing last has taken up a nice appeal in my eyes..
And i find it quite sad to write the same things about myself as the vast (male) mayority already has i too am way too shy, to the point where i seems selfish, i dont talk to people to the point where it seems that i dont care about anyone, I dismiss people easily, at first atleast, i actually seem quite the sociopath to some.But this is besides the point im gonna try and make.

Ok its quite interesting that people actually call plain out liers "Nice guys", as Satoshi_jiro already so very nicely pur this, being a nice guy doesent mean earning brownie points, its about the nice feeling you get when you help other people achive their goals, i dont get it, at what point being did being nice, good-willed become a taboo?
Is society really do run-down that only the ruthless cut-throats are allowed to survive and see a new day, all this at the expence of others ofcourse. Humans arent purely carnivores and we certainly arent cannibals, so we dont have to be at each others throats to achive our goals but im stearing of course here.
anyhow its not that bad to be a nice guy, and if you find yourself being lonely then dont blame your niceness, because thats not nice.
I find that being nice is nothing more than not asking someone to do something that you yourself wouldnt do in their shoes, and doing the things that you indeed have asked others to do, no matter what it may be.
Other than that Satoshi said everything i wanted to say.

Other than this i dought that i could speak from experience... but i will try the experiment that Mauz and Azrael did just for shits and giggle.
Posted 1/19/07
Its sad to think about how much people miss out on when they choose not to get to know another person or take them for granted because they are too nice. There are so many interesting people out there with so much to offer, and all we have to do is start off by saying hi, but usually it doesnt happen and so lost opportunities are created. Dont really know how this is related to the 'nice guy/girl topic', guess its related to the being shy part of Dularcs post hehe.

Anyways, back on topic; i consider myself one of the 'nice girls,' and personally i really do feel that if i can make someone elses day better, then it makes my day better too. I guess some days it does mean it involves a little more self sacrifice on my part, but i feel that its worth it. and its good for my karma too hehe
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Posted 1/19/07

Do0mAid wrote:

I think nice girls finish either due to shallow reasons (though a guy who would pass up a nice girl for that isn't worth dating anyway), or because she's seen as the "friend" girl. The one that gives advice, and you can hang out with to play video games, not the one that you take on a date. Partially though I think they let themselves fall into this role with little to no resistance, so they shoulder some of the blame. Also because they're shy the chances of them initating any sort of conversation/flirting/date-asking is little to none.


I don't think guys are capable of ever truly having a purely platonic friendship with a girl unless she is a relative, in law, or monstrously hideous.

If a girl is hanging out with a guy playing video games (and he is genuinely single), I GURANTEE you he wouldn't mind going out with her, and most likely really wants to. Most guys prefer to have girlfriends who are friends first and foremost. Odds are he's concerned about losing his friendship if he tries to take it to the next level - it certainly isn't for lack of thinking in that direction.

Personally, if I'm starting to become "just friends" with a girl, I'll test the waters real quick to see if I can escape that fate. If I'm rejected, I distance myself from her asap regardless of whether or not she still wants to hang out since I've never had any good become of being just friends with a girl. It's a living hell and I've spent enough time being the chump friend always on the sidelines.
Posted 1/19/07

azrael910 wrote:
Personally, if I'm starting to become "just friends" with a girl, I'll test the waters real quick to see if I can escape that fate. If I'm rejected, I distance myself from her asap regardless of whether or not she still wants to hang out since I've never had any good become of being just friends with a girl. It's a living hell and I've spent enough time being the chump friend always on the sidelines.


Best of luck with that. I look back at times where I have screwed up my courage and charged in, biting and kicking, dying for scottland, trying not to recieve The Mark of the Friend. I have fought valliantly, with honor and occasionally dignity, but always, always failed. If I were to turn my back on every woman who was immune to my woo-beams, my life would be a sausagefest and a lot less interesting. At the end of the day, even though I grimace when, surprise surprise, they're dating someone else two weeks later, I'm not mad because I gave it my best.

I dunno, maybe it is because I am young, but I've learned a lot from being that chump. I have a lot of funny stories from times where I've done things for ladies in my life that even spouses would try to weasel out of. And I always get a kick out of the strangers who compliment us on "what a cute couple we are" because that'll make even the strongest girl blush. And if I was asking for anything less than her heart, I know I could have it. But if I'd burned those bridges, I'd be just as awkward and fumbly as day one. You can't make your heart nor anyone else's love someone it doesn't want to, so you learn to forget.
Posted 1/19/07
i think nice guys do finish last for everyday things, but nice guys dont have to be nice all the time, so they don't always have to finish last
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26 / F / pepsi vending mac...
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Posted 1/19/07
no its not true. they may be walked on and not respected my most but that is becuse they are to nice to care. but things come around and eventualy somebody will find this nice person and none of what happened before will matter.
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27 / Martian / Estonia
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Posted 1/19/07
^ this is what we nice guys are talking about, the "eventually" in your sentence is what every nice guy dreads, if were not good enough for you before we put our heart out to the slaughter then by what magic drug did we become "acceptable" now?
You might not have noticed it but the thread said "Do "nice guys/girls" really finish last?" and your "eventually" just proved it that nice guys usually/mostly do finish last.
( :
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25 / M / JPN -> KR -> USA
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Posted 1/19/07
my nice guy life ended after punchin an annoyin guy durin lunch time lik 2yrs ago...now ima yankee after suspended for a week(school)
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26 / M / The World
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Posted 1/19/07
^damn....wat did she do???? :ph34r:^ man you sure can say that again.
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Posted 1/19/07
hm...yes nice guys/girls do finish last. too bad. so sad.
Posted 1/19/07

bdragonst wrote:

my nice guy life ended after punchin an annoyin guy durin lunch time lik 2yrs ago...now ima yankee after suspended for a week(school)



once a kid picked a fight with me, so i faught, im still a nice guy, but for those 5 minutes i took a break from being a nice guy. i needed a week off from school anyway

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26 / M / The World
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Posted 1/19/07
^well that proves it, nice guyz still have a bad side after all
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