You are allowed to withdrawal consent during sex
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31 / M / Seattle
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Posted 4/22/08 , edited 4/22/08
Sorry guys I do not have a link. But a few weeks ago I came across an interesting article about sex and consent. The article was about a woman who had withdrawn consent from sex, told the guy to stop, during sex. Granted they did agree before hand that if she did something like that the man would stop. So in my mind this is not the best case to be making a decision like this.

So that leaves me with the question, what about when there is no verbal agreement? That kind of hits a legal gray area, for me anyway. Because what defines a sexual contract? Is there even a definition? Or is it just based on the whims of another? I mean after all the body has to screw itself up a lot in order to have sex. So going through the initial motions and stopping is not something that is healthy, this is a medical fact.

So keeping in mind that there is no prior agreement. Lets say one party just feels guilty about having sex and wants to stop. Should someone be allowed to do that? Or is there some kind of predefined definition of sex?

Since I know that whenever it comes to the issue of potential rape, everyone assumes it is guy raping girl. Well sadly this can go both ways. So I am going to ask that you guys keep this as gender neutral as possible. Granted I will ask the question, in the initial story. If the man was in the position of the woman and vice versa. Do you think that this idea would have been passed?

:sweatingbullets: forgot my ranty conclusion... just ignore.

Added Questions
I will try to add questions as they come to me.

1. How does foreplay play into this whole mess? Because by definition foreplay is something we use to fully arouse ourselfs for self. Which brings up a question, does sexual arousal automatically give consent to the partner?
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27 / F
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Posted 4/22/08
Ya. You're just like me. At work and on CR.

I think stuff like that should be kept between the couples.

But I say yes. If one party feels guilty then he or she should be able to say stop. Anyway, I thought these kind of things were considered common sense.
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31 / M / Seattle
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Posted 4/22/08
I was more thinking along the lines of two strangers just ummm having fun. As for common sense, when you look at sex between couples how do you see it? Do you see a process with a clear cut beginning and end. Or do you just see it as its most basic process, meaning you see it as "insert penis in vagina and repeat"?
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31 / M / Seattle
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Posted 4/22/08 , edited 4/23/08
What?
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Posted 4/22/08 , edited 4/23/08
Withdrawing consent during sex makes sense. If the woman says "no" and "stop" in all seriousness then you should stop. Pretty simple really although telling your partner to get the hell off of you while you're about to cum and they don't pull out in time and calling it rape, is rather wrong.
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22 / M / SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAA...
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Posted 4/23/08 , edited 4/23/08
its only rape if he/she forces you to have have sex so haveing sex afterwards after you said lets do it
and you call it rape is just bullshit
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28 / M
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Posted 4/23/08 , edited 4/23/08
It is rape to continue after someone has said stop because there is no longer consent on one side although obviously they can't take back consent once your finished sex because you have no chance to not rape them if that was the case and you can't force someone to do something they agreed to do and followed through to finish . People get worried or feel they aren't prepared to take the risks such as getting an STI, pregnancy, or an emotional toll the reason doesn't matter if they become uncomfortable they have the right to say stop and the partner must comply because if not you are now forcing them to have sex with you, which by definition is rape.

The withdrawing thing incontrovertible said is different, that is a mistake and obviously shouldn't be called rape but you can't accidentally rape someone if they tell you to stop
Ronin
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30 / M / California
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Posted 4/23/08 , edited 4/23/08
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By:Jorwlind
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27 / M / Philippines...
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Posted 4/23/08 , edited 4/23/08

rounin wrote:

It is rape to continue after someone has said stop because there is no longer consent on one side although obviously they can't take back consent once your finished sex because you have no chance to not rape them if that was the case and you can't force someone to do something they agreed to do and followed through to finish . People get worried or feel they aren't prepared to take the risks such as getting an STI, pregnancy, or an emotional toll the reason doesn't matter if they become uncomfortable they have the right to say stop and the partner must comply because if not you are now forcing them to have sex with you, which by definition is rape.

The withdrawing thing incontrovertible is different, that is a mistake and obviously shouldn't be called rape but you can't accidentally rape someone if they tell you to stop


I totally agree

It's not bad to say stop if you feel stopping. Sex is a a two way thing. If your partners says stop, why continue?

Our brains are supposed to be located on our heads.. Not on our dicks..
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28 / F / over the rainbow
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Posted 4/29/08
Anyone who does that is stupid...I'm a girl and I know that you can't just invite a guy to have sex, do it and then in the middle decide "nah i don't like it...get off"

It's like your mom making your favorite dinner and then she takes your plate away and tell you to throw it up and give it back.

I know a bitch who did that...She invited a guy to her room gave him liquor , willingly took off her clothes and had sex with him...but because "she was intoxicated and didn't properly give consent" he was charged for rape and banned from his college campus...this bitch ruined his life and she gets sympathy and money from the family for acting like a whore.
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29 / M / North Carolina
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Posted 4/29/08

Blackhoodieafu wrote:

Anyone who does that is stupid...I'm a girl and I know that you can't just invite a guy to have sex, do it and then in the middle decide "nah i don't like it...get off"

It's like your mom making your favorite dinner and then she takes your plate away and tell you to throw it up and give it back.

I know a bitch who did that...She invited a guy to her room gave him liquor , willingly took off her clothes and had sex with him...but because "she was intoxicated and didn't properly give consent" he was charged for rape and banned from his college campus...this bitch ruined his life and she gets sympathy and money from the family for acting like a whore.


WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!??!? The fucking shit mother fucking god are you serious!? Holy crap... beat that bitch up. If I were you she'd be in the hospital from being beaten by me, and I'm a guy, she deserves it. She was drunk... he was drunk. The fuck is up with this world.. holy crap.
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24 / F / Pennsylvania
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Posted 4/29/08
What if it was hilariously unsatisfying? lol.
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38 / F / Somewhere in the US
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Posted 4/29/08
You have the right to say no at any time. People think about it for one minute. Say the other person starts to do something you really don't like you tell them no, if that other person forces you to continue you wouldn't be happy at all, in fact most would be mad. You have the right to say "I don't like this stop or get off me" If the other person continues it's rape pure and simple. The moment someone says "no" and means it, it is time to stop.
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