vitsejä
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9876 cr points
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22 / M / Finland. I'm quit...
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Posted 4/26/08
joo postatkaa joku hyvä vitsi mikä tahansa käy
Tasavallan Presidentti
1993 cr points
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23 / M / Suomi Finland
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Posted 4/26/08
No minä vaikka alotan. Okei. Mies oli autiomaassa eikä sillä ollu ruokaa eikä vettä. Se pääsi viimesillä voimillaa puun alle ja sitte sano sielä että Allah, Allah, anna yks nakki. Ja nakki putos. Se ukko oli vähä ihmeissää, mut se söi sen. Sitte sano että Allah, Allah, anna vielä toinen nakki. Ja taas putos nakkki. Se ukko söi senkin. Sitte se sano vielä kolomannen kerran että Allah, Allah, anna vielä yks nakki. Ja taas nakki putos. Sitte sitä ukkoo alko vähä ihmetyttää. Se katto sinne puuhu ja näki sielä spitaalisen apinan jolla oli toisesa käjessä enää 2 sormee.
Posted 4/27/08
Mikä on hauskempaa kuin kuollut vauva?
- Kuollut vauva pellepuvussa.

Entä mikä on hauskempaa kuin kuollut vauva pellepuvussa?
- Kahdeksan kuollutta vauvaa yhdessä tynnyrissä.

Entä mikä on hauskempaa kuin kahdeksan kuollutta vauvaa yhdessä tynnyrissä?
- Yksi kuollut vauva kahdeksassa tynnyrissä.


(No mikä tahansa kävi!)
Moderaattori
9876 cr points
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22 / M / Finland. I'm quit...
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Posted 4/28/08
Proof of human stupidity

EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as " to be used for intended use only" basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

en nyt rupee kääntään näit kaikkii suomeks
Jäsen
22133 cr points
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22 / F / Finland
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Posted 5/7/08 , edited 5/14/08
Uskontotunnilla:
- Mistä Israelin kansa on saanut alkunsa?
- Napista.
- Napista? Mitä sinä höpötät.
- Raamatussa sanotaan, että Israelin kansa alkoi napista.

Ja lisää pukkaa,

Jokainen olut vähentää elinaikaa 4 minuutilla, tupakka 6 minuutilla. Tuottelias työpäivä vähentää 8 tuntia.
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