Post Reply Perspective
1037 cr points
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30 / M / Michigan, USA
Posted 4/27/08 , edited 4/27/08
I look onto the water, glimmering with the setting sun.
Into the waves, I can see all that I've done.
Reflections from everywhere, all at one time.
Too much information, for my mind to unwind.
I can see it all, and yet I cannot see one bit.
I cry, I laugh, I scream, I cringe at the thought of it.
Is this the life I spent so long to build?
Nothing is clear, my mind fully filled.
The one thing I feel the most is the pain.
Scorching my eyes, covered with shame.
Adrift in the thoughts of what was once love.
to be dragged to the depths, I grasp and I shove.
Fighting my thoughts for just one thing to hold.
A feeling of happiness, a feeling untold.
Nothing comes to mind, it's all such a blur.
My head spins around, caught up in the whir.
I hear it loudly now, and yet stil find nothing to keep.
My heart cries out, my soul begins to weep.
My eyes see again, my mind filled with nothing but pain.
The drops on the windshield, from this torrential rain.
The lights in front, level with my sight.
The sound of my own screaming out of fright.
The view of the truck as it smashes through my car.
The sight of the grill coming so close from what seemed so far.
The metal growing closer as it comes through the glass.
Striking my head as I...

Wow something morbid kinda... :/ I surprise myself sometimes when I let my imagination do my writing...

3640 cr points
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F / Canada
Posted 4/27/08
Well done! Your attempt to rhyme is not evident, i didn't even notice it till i read halfway~ The rhyme gets a little worst near the end, but the wording isn't bad.
2823 cr points
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25 / M / Australia
Posted 5/4/08
its nice. =] quite liked it. and its not morbid...not to me at least. thats life isnt it? lol.
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