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Can a meaningful romantic relationship exist between an adult and a child?
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18 / F / Philii ,.
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Posted 3/22/10
Children are too young to experience such a powerful thing like love.
Well, in my opinion.
If a man and a child were to be together I would think that the child would want to do it for the experience or does not know what to do in the situation, thus following the eldest. (Since they are always to listen to adults like teachers, parents, etc.)
Since the man had the advantage of age, he would control the child (which would start with the sexual abuse)
Also, the advantage of strength.
But, long story short.
No, they can never fall in love. As always, the strongest will take advantage of the weakest.
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37 / M / Seattle, WA
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Posted 3/27/10
Just to share my relatively useless opinion on this topic.... I suppose it all depends on what your local society considers a child.
Can a romantic relationship exist between a 19 year old "adult" and a 17 year old "child"? Probably. Would it be a healthy relationship? I have no idea; it's not my place to pass judgment on someone's personal life.

That said, I do think it's pretty much impossible to have any kind of meaningful relationship with anyone that lacks a fair amount of real-life experience, adult or otherwise. I don't think anyone would argue that early teens and pre-teen kids are damn near completely lacking in understanding of how the world actually works. The older partner in these relationships tend to hold all the cards and make the rules, which in my mind is wrong. Sexual activity in these relationships can also be harmful to the child for obvious reasons.

But then again there are societies out there in which women have damn near no rights at all anyway, and marry off small pre-teen girls to old men all the time, regardless of how I feel about it personally.


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23 / M / Canada
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Posted 4/15/10
Noooooooooooooooo sir! As a child, you simply do not have the accumulated experience required to know what a "meaningful relationship" is. No matter how mature the child, the adult in the relationship will always be the one "leading", and that's just unfair. Yeah, you've read Kodomo no Jikan, but guess what, real children don't behave that way. That's FICTION, you can't use fiction to justify acts in reality.
Posted 4/16/10

DerfelCadarn wrote:

Well, what exactly is a meaningful romantic relationship?
You're lucky that there are scientific data on why people love and cheat, and how that affects our brain. And objectively speaking it's an individual's obsession with the addictive sexual and emotional drive and tendency towards another specific individual.
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52 / F / Atlanta GA
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Posted 6/17/10
Well that a load question here in the sates 18 you’re an adult 16 consider a child. Another words the 18 dose, get 10 years if found guilty mandatory sentence. This has already happened once were common since. We have some real idiots and making laws here need help and give judges and prosecutor the leeway to make the charge or the judge make the sentence. Now if your talk man boy club out in California that’s twisted go to jail do not pass go stay there until you take the dirt nap.
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32 / M / Yarmouth Port, Mass
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Posted 6/17/10 , edited 6/17/10
Children are to trusting. They will believe anything as long as they feel that the person telling them wouldn't do anything to hurt them. No matter how the adult might delude themselves into believing it's consensual. The child will only be acting based on trust.
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47 / F / Center of the Uni...
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Posted 6/17/10
Sorry... Not to flame you since you asked nice but... NO. It's a severe violation of big and (IMO) necessary Taboo.

That said, if you turned around and discovered that a former child with whom you'd had a platonic relationship with was suddenly a young but legal adult and had feelings for you. That -might- be okay. It was good enough for the hollywood movie "gigi" anyway.
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F / A Place in America
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Posted 8/23/11
No way can a relationship work between an adult and a child. First of all why would any normal adult look at a child in a sexual manner, what's sexy about a kid? Second children don't have the type of physical, mental or emotional maturity to handle or understand, or even be interested in such a relationship.
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forgot where
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Posted 8/24/11 , edited 8/24/11
define an adult and define a child,If you definitions are somewhat...obscure, then no. But if you define a child as roughly 12- older, then it is possible to have a meaningful romantic relationship with an adult. Societies have done it before, and made it work. The whole "Taboo" of it in America rest with "protecting the child's innocence". Not that children in America are all that innocent...hell, you can get found not guily in a stationtory rape case if you can prove the child is a slut. If the child isnt innocent, there is nothing to protect. Though on the flip side, men are assholes. 99% of the time they will take advantage of women and children in relationships. So finding people (adult + child) interested in a meaningful relationship is in itself a challange . peace over war
Posted 8/28/11 , edited 8/31/11
Research!
Given this research, it is certainly possible that a number of college students who were abused as children view the experience as positive. It is also probable that in many cases this is because they were more seriously abused and because they are currently involved in self-destructive behaviors directly related to the abuse.

Renaming sexual child abuse as a "willing encounter" will undoubtedly put children at risk, since it is the "willing encounters" that have potentially the most devastating effects.

I've ran into an individual here who is classic...and persistent...

Attraction to "illicit" sexual activity such as pornography ..etc etc etc....never shuts up..narcisstic to the core...

Sexual manipulation. This includes using seductiveness or other forms of sexual manipulation to get what he wants ... vulgar 'talk'
hidden beneath the cloak of satisfy MY needs by letting me talk my filth into your ear and then belittle you for listening...

OK,,my rant is over..

steamsmelol
Posted 8/28/11

SixMoons wrote:

Research!
Given this research, it is certainly possible that a number of college students who were abused as children view the experience as positive. It is also probable that in many cases this is because they were more seriously abused and because they are currently involved in self-destructive behaviors directly related to the abuse.

Renaming sexual child abuse as a "willing encounter" will undoubtedly put children at risk, since it is the "willing encounters" that have potentially the most devastating effects.


I've ran into an individual here who is classic...and persistent...

Attraction to "illicit" sexual activity such as pornography ..etc etc etc....never shuts up..narcisstic to the core...

Sexual manipulation. This includes using seductiveness or other forms of sexual manipulation to get what he wants ... vulgar 'talk'
hidden beneath the cloak of satisfy MY needs by letting me talk my filth into your ear and then belittle you for listening
...

OK,,my rant is over..

steamsmelol
I don't think you're ranting par say, when there are valuable insights in your comment. However "college students" isn't a realistic profiling, when not all pedophiles are themselves college students. So I would like to make that clear before it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy through hindsight bias.

That being said, one's own self-perception/self-view can be manipulated through the social processes of perception management and conformity. But in the Western society at large, there's a mainstream cultural bias of underpinning an individual's own success or failure solely at the individual's own effort and/or responsibility. Therefore it's hard for people in general to understand how pedophilia can be culturally nurtured into individuals, hidden beneath the cloak of narcissistic display called a "talent" search. Not cuteness.
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30 / M / Seattle Wa
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Posted 9/22/11
pedophile and child and what age is appropriate ect are different for different cultures. While there are "undeveloped" tribes of people who don't wear clothes or whatever and have very little contact with the outside world, they find it socially acceptable to have a "man" of whatever age buy a wife and marry them when they are as young as 12 years old. In "developed" cultures that is considered taboo and from our standpoint the man is an adult but the woman is still a child. In the culture of the persons tribe both are considered adults by that time and are able to have a relationship. In most cases they make a romantic and sexual bond between the two people and it lasts their whole life.

I believe it's possible for a meaningful romantic relationship to exist between an adult and a child. From the outside looking in. I.E. "developed" people who come in contact with "undeveloped" people. While we would view the younger person as a child and the older as an adult that belief would not be shared. In the "undeveloped" culture the "child" has made the concious decision to be with the adult and the child is not a child. They could and in a lot of cases have feelings for the "adult"

If it were the case of my own child and what I consider him/her to still be a child that would not be the case. I don't believe that a until the age of 18 that they are capable of having a meaningful relationship with an adult. While I feel that it's possible for other peoples "children" to make that decision there is no way I believe that my kids will be capable of making that decision.
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forgot where
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Posted 10/4/11

darament wrote:

pedophile and child and what age is appropriate ect are different for different cultures. While there are "undeveloped" tribes of people who don't wear clothes or whatever and have very little contact w ith the outside world, they find it socially acceptable to have a "man" of whatever age buy a wife and marry them when they are as young as 12 years old. In "developed" cultures that is considered taboo and from our standpoint the man is an adult but the woman is still a child. In the culture of the persons tribe both are considered adults by that time and are able to have a relationship. In most cases they make a romantic and sexual bond between the two people and it lasts their whole life.

I believe it's possible for a meaningful romantic relationship to exist between an adult and a child. From the outside looking in. I.E. "developed" people who come in contact with "undeveloped" people. While we would view the younger person as a child and the older as an adult that belief would not be shared. In the "undeveloped" culture the "child" has made the concious decision to be with the adult and the child is not a child. They could and in a lot of cases have feelings for the "adult"

If it were the case of my own child and what I consider him/her to still be a child that would not be the case. I don't believe that a until the age of 18 that they are capable of having a meaningful relationship with an adult. While I feel that it's possible for other peoples "children" to make that decision there is no way I believe that my kids will be capable of making that decision.


If it were the case of my own child and what I consider him/her to still be a child that would not be the case. I don't believe that a until the age of 18 that they are capable of having a meaningful relationship with an adult. While I feel that it's possible for other peoples "children" to make that decision there is no way I believe that my kids will be capable of making that decision.


18? why not 17? is there really that much of a mental difference from 17 to 18? Do people just magically become muture during that transisition? From my experience dumb, immature, and stupid 17 yr olds stay that way well into thier mid 20s, and sometimes into mature adult hood. peace over war
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20 / M / Somewhere in the...
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Posted 10/4/11
No. Children are far too easily influenced, and as such, it's not their full decision. I'm a lolicon myself, but that doesn't mean I'm a pedophile. I find children IRL disgusting and loud, and as such I tend to avoid them. My sister is annoying, but at least she's not the kind to bother someone to death.

I guess I could see a certain kind of relationship between an adult and child, but nothing sexual in any way until the child is grown to the age of proper consent. Anything else is a disgusting and vile act, worthy of a life sentence.
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30 / M / Seattle Wa
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Posted 10/4/11

JJT2 wrote:


darament wrote:

pedophile and child and what age is appropriate ect are different for different cultures. While there are "undeveloped" tribes of people who don't wear clothes or whatever and have very little contact w ith the outside world, they find it socially acceptable to have a "man" of whatever age buy a wife and marry them when they are as young as 12 years old. In "developed" cultures that is considered taboo and from our standpoint the man is an adult but the woman is still a child. In the culture of the persons tribe both are considered adults by that time and are able to have a relationship. In most cases they make a romantic and sexual bond between the two people and it lasts their whole life.

I believe it's possible for a meaningful romantic relationship to exist between an adult and a child. From the outside looking in. I.E. "developed" people who come in contact with "undeveloped" people. While we would view the younger person as a child and the older as an adult that belief would not be shared. In the "undeveloped" culture the "child" has made the concious decision to be with the adult and the child is not a child. They could and in a lot of cases have feelings for the "adult"

If it were the case of my own child and what I consider him/her to still be a child that would not be the case. I don't believe that a until the age of 18 that they are capable of having a meaningful relationship with an adult. While I feel that it's possible for other peoples "children" to make that decision there is no way I believe that my kids will be capable of making that decision.


If it were the case of my own child and what I consider him/her to still be a child that would not be the case. I don't believe that a until the age of 18 that they are capable of having a meaningful relationship with an adult. While I feel that it's possible for other peoples "children" to make that decision there is no way I believe that my kids will be capable of making that decision.


18? why not 17? is there really that much of a mental difference from 17 to 18? Do people just magically become muture during that transisition? From my experience dumb, immature, and stupid 17 yr olds stay that way well into thier mid 20s, and sometimes into mature adult hood. peace over war


18 is old enough that they can make a mistake and in the law it's their problem not mine. if they haven't completely grown up by that point then they better grow up if they are willing to pursue the pleasures of the flesh. hell if I lived in some country that sold off daughters then I wouldn't care if she was 2 when I sold her off because i'd be looking to get paid. Because of where I live and the legal age of consent i'm willing to allow my kids the oppertunity to mess up their lives as soon as they are able to in the eyes of the law.
Posted 10/10/11
wouldn't that be awkward? o.o
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