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Can a meaningful romantic relationship exist between an adult and a child?
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21 / F / somewhere out there
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Posted 5/29/08 , edited 5/29/08
I posted something here a while back... but it doesn't seem to be here anymore...
anywho...

I believe that a person's maturity is not determined by his age.
An 11 year old may be more mature than a 15 year old
That child may understand the risks of having a relationship like that...
Most preteens and teens (and sometimes even younger than that) nowadays already know the concept of relationships and stuff like that through movies, television and the Internet
Also sex really isn't necessary for something to be called a relationship right?
An adult can give presents, tell the child how he feels, maybe even kiss the child...
If the adult truly loves the child, he would not FORCE the child to do something he doesn't want...
The child's parents, friends, etc. may or may not agree to the relationship and may try to break them up or give the child warnings and stuff like that.
If the child goes on with the relationship, and it turns out to be a mistake, It is then the child's fault. But then, that's how people learn, through mistakes...
If the parents didn't know or didn't care about the relationship, then that's just the parents' fault...

Also most say that if the child grows up and isn't a child anymore, the adult would end the relationship... That may be a possibility.... The adult was just attracted to a child's physical appearance or cuteness... no love whatsoever...
But there is a possibility that the adult will continue to love the child even if the child grows old...

There are a lot of possibilities on how a relationship like this will turn out, but there is a chance that a meaningful relationship can exist between a child and an adult...
Though there is still a HUGE possibility that it will be a HUGE mistake...

I've seen it before.. though they're older now... their daughter was my friend.
the mother was 22 and the father was 40 when their child was born...
their relationship started when she was 15.... they married when she was 19...

People always say thet "Love knows no boundaries" or "Love is blind" or "Love conquers all" but they dont let it apply to age....


PS: I'm not saying that a child can just go and have a relationship with an old man, I'm just saying that it's possible for a meaningful relationship to exist...
9278 cr points
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F / Singapore
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Posted 5/30/08
Well... I don't think that'll happen. But there was a report in the country I live in. A maid that was 40+ and a teenager had sex and they loved each other for a period of time.
Posted 6/1/08
Um let me answer this in the most serious manner I possibly can think of...no.

A little child can't understand what love is for another person, its maybe "Ohh I likes you!" but not to have a meaningful relationship with a adult, the child's mind is still developing, and isn't ready for things like this, so I don't know if your attracted to there bodies or there "personalities" but its still wrong because even if a 10 year old THINKS they love you they don't fully understand what is going on and you are a pedo, plain and simple.
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37 / M / Closing in
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Posted 6/1/08
Neither "love" or "wrong" matters here. The question is meaningful. That can be detrmined 2 ways:
1. Out of the perspective of the concerned. If the child and adult find menaing in the relationship, it is meaningful then. Doesn't matter what other people think. As long as they find it meaningful, it is meaningful to them. Result: meaninful. And there is no reason why it theoretically CAN NOT happen.
2. Out of someone else's or society's criteria for "meaningful". In which case we need criteria. But in any case, there is no criteria I know of that woudl exclude such a realtionship, unless simply age is listed. But to say that age in itself is a criteria, is weird, and would affect other relationship. A ten year gap is hardly uncommon. So it can be meaningful.

So yes, of course it CAN.
Posted 6/1/08

jestorebo wrote:

Neither "love" or "wrong" matters here. The question is meaningful. That can be detrmined 2 ways:
1. Out of the perspective of the concerned. If the child and adult find menaing in the relationship, it is meaningful then. Doesn't matter what other people think. As long as they find it meaningful, it is meaningful to them. Result: meaninful. And there is no reason why it theoretically CAN NOT happen.
2. Out of someone else's or society's criteria for "meaningful". In which case we need criteria. But in any case, there is no criteria I know of that woudl exclude such a realtionship, unless simply age is listed. But to say that age in itself is a criteria, is weird, and would affect other relationship. A ten year gap is hardly uncommon. So it can be meaningful.

So yes, of course it CAN.


What can I young child with a undeveloped mind find meaningful? They don't understand, comprehend, or appricate anything they get, yeah maybe its meaningful for a guy to give them a lolipop every day, but I don't think thats quite the point.
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37 / M / Closing in
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Posted 6/1/08
dmit: doesn't matter. Either list a criteria that can't be met in such a relationship, or let the people within it decide what is meaningful for them. Otherwise: yes, there can be a meaningful relationship. As for your ageism: children CAN do all those things. In fact I was more appreciative as a child. And there are even child geniuses that can comprehend and understand more than me. And in any case: it doesn't matter. Meaningful is meaningful. You can either decide the terms that give meaning or let the subjects decide.
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20 / F / PLANET FIERCE BABY!
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Posted 6/2/08
no, it can't. it's against the law to have an adult in a relationship with a child. no. the adult would go to prision beacuse it's against the law people!
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23 / F / Canada
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Posted 6/2/08 , edited 6/2/08
I think it'd be OKAY, LONG AS the two do NOT have any sexual contact - kisses and hugs allowed. and the older should NOT be allowed to SEE any private parts, or TOUCH any private parts....

and you should wait till the latter becomes 16+ or 18+ >_<; 'cause if you're talking about the two extremes like some 4x year old with 8 year old -___-;;;;; yeah...
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24 / M / Australia
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Posted 10/30/08

popezeke wrote:

I have thought a lot about this subject, and despite all the bashing about this subject few people really touch on this. They are too busy either defending their lolicon pic folders or screaming bloody murder about those wicked child rapists to consider the real implications of a relationship between an adult and child.

As a proud lolicon, I am growing weary about people ignorantly bashing my compatriots, and Chris Hanson's To Catch a Predator is possibly the most useless effort ever devised by television.

However I do not approve of child rapists, child pornographers and the like. Rape is one of the great acts of evil committed by humans, and people who put children through such pain deserve nothing but the full wrath of a bullet.

But while all this flaming is going on, few people really consider this:

If a consenting adult and a willing child existed, do you believe a meaningful relationship could exist? Us lolicons can dream all we want, and the haters can sputter all they want, but I want to know what you guys think. I'm not trolling. Promise.

sound off


Depends on the age range of child, if its above 15, then yeah there might be a chance of a meaningful romantic relationship as long the older person isn't in it for sex or just sex.

By the way Thread creator.... You said that you're a lolicon and your proud of it, you must be really gutsy to say it out loud publicly :p. Just want to tell you this, drawn pornography depicting a child is illegal (depending on country).
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22 / F / somewhere..
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Posted 10/30/08
No. Children and adults are supposed to have different mentalities, intelligence and interests. The level of responsibility and experience in life is very different. Such a difference makes it hard for me to believe there is any common ground or possibility of a healthy relationship .

Unless this relationship is between a 15 yr old, 18 yr old type thing, I just can not make any sense of it. A relationship between a 12 yr old and a 35 yr old suggests the elder is in it for sex/fetish and the younger person has had a difficult childhood, is severly insecure, wanting attention etc.

And even if it is "love". The adult should know that getting into a relationship with a child could totally ruin the lives of both parties. (relationships with family, friends, job etc.) and that children need to be children, and grow up normally. If there is any sort of love between them then they would know they need to wait, let the child grow up and continue their weird relationship later,.

Basically I'm strongly against child/adult romantic relationships. But if there is some wonderful true, absolutely genuine love/connection thing that can exist between such a couple that I don't know about, then I guess they can have a meaningful romantic relationship.. However they should know to wait until the child grows up and not be physical..
Posted 10/30/08

Jessy123 wrote:

No. Children and adults are supposed to have different mentalities, intelligence and interests. The level of responsibility and experience in life is very different.


Bingo. I think it comes down to the magical word called responsibility. Our current society has all sorts of barricades keeping children from responsibility, drinking, driving, sex, etc. The Industrial Revolution proved children can operate heavy machinery, your parents slipping you liquor at parties proves you can consume it, pedo bear proves it is possible to engage in sex acts with a child, but what about responsibility? Can someone, in 20 years of life make a responsible decision about whom they will possibly spend 4x as much time with as they themselves have experienced? Sure, you could train a 12 year old to be a wicked stock car racer. But when a tire flies off and kills four people, was it really the best decision to pass out that responsibility so early?

F***, most adults can't even end up in healthy relationships, how can you expect a kid to find satisfaction when they didn't shop around first. You don't see children approaching adults for this stuff, you get adults who pick the kid. Pedophilia relationships existed in the past because of shortened lifespans and rigid gender roles. A husband was expected to be like a father, and a wife was barely above a child. Obviously women started to realize this arrangement sucked, and so the same judgment will probably be passed by a matured child aging out of a pedophilia relationship. As the age gap closes, the amount of responsibility and authority that changes power will be forced to shift from parent and child to spouse and spouse, and I doubt this is ever pretty.
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20 / M / In The Abyss
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Posted 11/2/08
After reading some of the replies it seems its a no, but it really depends, can the child comprehend the meaning of 'love'? Then again there are some old people who can't comprehend love either. Being a lolicon, lolishota, or w/e else is used for pedophiles it just means that an older person likes the looks, body, or ignorance of a child better than that of an older person. Pedophile means an older guy liking to have sex with a young kid right? Well I guess a meaningful relationship could exist not for a pedophile but just a guy who likes kids for who they are but not for sex? I have no idea what i'm saying but meaningful doesn't mean a 7 year-old saying "Okay, let's do it" to a 50 year old, it means a deep relationship with understanding, so unless your gonna wait until he/she is 18 then all you are is a perverted man/woman who likes to have sex with little kids which is far from meaningful.
Posted 11/3/08

KariKun wrote:
Pedophile means an older guy liking to have sex with a young kid right? Well I guess a meaningful relationship could exist not for a pedophile but just a guy who likes kids for who they are but not for sex?


I think sex is the critical cusp of this argument. You can love and support someone of any age, at any age. But the minute you start whispering sweet nothings and bumpin' uglies you have entered a whole different realm. There is a huge difference between companionship and romance. In reference to adults and children, one would be a mentor and the other would be a pedophile. Children need support from the community, but something as broad as love can't be shared on like terms between two people with a huge maturity gap.
Posted 11/4/08 , edited 11/4/08
Well, love has no shape, no gender, and no age. So I think it's possible. Also, I think that other people really like sticking their noses into other people's business way too much. Like "oh em gee this guy is turned on by kids, throw him in jail!" Seriously, can they just get a life and stop caring so much? Let other people do whatever the hell they want as long as they don't hurt anybody. That's what I think about this.
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29 / M
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Posted 11/4/08 , edited 11/4/08
I think its nearly impossible. To have a "meaningful romantic relationship" means that both parties need to see it that way and that needs some sort of common ground, be it in the situations they face or they things they want or need at that point in life. They need to be on the same page on what is "a meaningful romantic relationship" and not have one party blatantly lie to the other and exploit the other either. I think it will be very difficult to fulfill the criteria for that between a child and someone much older, say over 20. Yet, when I put my mind to it I can still find an exception I think most people would be able to see as meaningful. I know its a bit long but its a story and I'm already being as concise in telling it as I can be.

Let's say that a worldwide catastrophe took place and the only people left alive are a young 24 year old teacher and one of his female students, who is 12. Initially they wouldn't know that they are the only ones left alive and the teacher being the responsible man is completely unwilling to take advantage of the situation and cares for the girl much as any teacher or parent would. But as it becomes increasingly impossible to find any other humans alive, the teacher starts to develop romantic feelings for this student because she is the only person that can offer him comfort as well, even if it is in the act of taking care of her.

The teacher however, being unwilling to do things that he fears the girl is not ready for or would not understand never takes advantage of the situation and never puts any demands on the girl, choosing instead to hide his feelings and instincts. However, as the girl grows older, she too develops feelings for him beyond what one may feel for her teacher or parent and they end up as the next Adam and Eve. This is because the teacher has treated her kindly and lovingly and as an equal once his feelings for her had started developing.

By a slight stretch, one might say that the teacher had courted the girl by these acts. Technically speaking then, the romance would have started at the point when the man had feelings for her and here it is indeed meaningful. The thing is it is nearly impossible. And if it did happen we wouldn't know.
Posted 11/4/08
i think its disgusting
but thats me lol
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