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"Chainz" by khadar747 |
Member
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chapter 2 is going to be really late due to work & school i'll start it as soon as i get freetime :P
** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** In the city of Shikyo, There are uncanny phenomenon's that happen, children disappear, men turn to murder and suicide but no one understands why. The city has been confined, no one can go in and nobody can leave. Children are born with extra arm's or eyes and are marked as blasphemies. But one day something occurred that will change Shikyo forever. There he was running away from the overly sized crow a young boy around 5'9 wearing a white leather jacket, black pants, and a light blue shirt with a design of a wolf, he had black hair and fair skin. he was gasping for air tired from running down the street to get away from the crow. Hi my name is Crest I"m here running away for my life. This is the town of Shikyo a town where tall buildings touch the sky, the sky is always grey, The city has changed throughout the years, It used to be flourishing with stores and many nice people and now its quiet, dirty, boring, and dangerous. I was walking home from the grocery store when a flock of crows saw me with food. The leader of the flock a five foot crow with a scar on his eye flew full speed to attack me. I ran all the way to the alley to find myself at a dead end, I turned around and picked up a stick and threw it at the bird, the bird dodged the stick and started diving towards me. Take this Crest a mysterious acute voice threw a gun to me and I shot it immediately, the bullet hit the bird's wing and it fell to the ground still alive but barely. Crest looked around to see who gave him the gun and from the top of the garbage can he saw his childhood friend Sonia a young girl around the same age as Crest with a pink shirt and white pants covered in mud and water. Her eyes were luminous blue and full of joy. I was lucky she came or I would have been a goner. She walked up to the bird with a dispiriting look and grabbed the dusty rag near the garbage can. She started to whisper to the bird maybe saying a prayer or asking for forgiveness then she wrapped the bird with the rag and brought it to me, out of disgust I told her to keep it away from me. It was the first time I've seen her with a such a melancholy aura. I asked where she was going, she didn't reply and walked towards the polluted river she gently put the bird on the river and let the current slowly take it away to the crevice of dawn. She then turned around with a happy look almost as if none of that had happen. She was a very fond towards animals, i guess the death of one was too much for her to handle, shall we go she said, and i replied yes in a confused manner. The walk back home was very quiet nothing was said until Anton ran towards us with a sheet of paper. Anton is a tall 6 foot boy, he had green iniquitous eye's and fair skin, his hair was lime green, he wore a dark green jacket with fur around the hood and tight pants, He told us that a test was being held at the local science facility, and the people hosting it are paying a hefty amount of money for test subject, Sonia didn't think it was a good idea but I couldn't say no to money so i went with him, Sonia still tagged along. As soon as we got their a receptionist told us to wait in the other room until the scientist comes in. We walked into a room cluttered with other people, i guessed they were here for the same reason. The scientist walked in and looked around and surprised at the amount of people here. He called me and Anton and five other people around our age, he gently thanked the people who came and asked them to collect their money and go home. We walked into a professional looking laboratory, with seven circles on the floor with unique designs on each one. He asked for each of our names and led us each to the circles. He told us to step in the center of each circle without telling us what he was researching or why we are needed. after we stepped into each circle a incandescent light blinded me as i fell into a deep sleep . Tell me if i should continue with this or if i should continue with grafitti |
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boredd
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Creator
Yyuusei
Level 3 Boy
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hmmmm.... This is really intersting. I like the plot, it is original, not too sure of the plot yet though, lol. But it is really interesting... I think it is a hard choice. So i guess u just gotta ask yourself, what would you have more fun writing? I think the writing in this story has better quality than the other. Descriptions, things flow together more. So yeah, choice is up to you, what would you have more fun writing. It isnt all about us, your readers. =)
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I am on a lot now more often now, woohoo!
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Ichigo-bankai wrote: hmmmm.... This is really intersting. I like the plot, it is original, not too sure of the plot yet though, lol. But it is really interesting... I think it is a hard choice. So i guess u just gotta ask yourself, what would you have more fun writing? I think the writing in this story has better quality than the other. Descriptions, things flow together more. So yeah, choice is up to you, what would you have more fun writing. It isnt all about us, your readers. =) well i enjoy writing them both but im looking for the readers point of u witch one would u rather me continue cause i dont have enough idea's to run 2 manga's at the same time |
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boredd
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Creator
Yyuusei
Level 3 Boy
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lol, sorry mate, it is a stale-mate. Maybe some1 else will break the tie
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I am on a lot now more often now, woohoo!
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Moderator
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I followed this one much better and its better set otu bith have good storylines and ideas y dont you acrry on with both? or mix the two stories together? i dont know but I have to say with each version/ story you put up theres dramatic improvement maybe thats y I followed this one much better and cant the other 1 because I was so confused at the begging and cant leave it behind if you get what I mean. ok im babling again just go for which ever one you enjoy writing more or have more ideas for and dont sya you dont know of course you do you just cant be bothered to think. dont worry wr all like that! remeber you can always come back to the other idea and rewrite it with different charceters making it better!
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Randomness is an inspiration and you know it
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FallenAngel159 wrote: I followed this one much better and its better set otu bith have good storylines and ideas y dont you acrry on with both? or mix the two stories together? i dont know but I have to say with each version/ story you put up theres dramatic improvement maybe thats y I followed this one much better and cant the other 1 because I was so confused at the begging and cant leave it behind if you get what I mean. ok im babling again just go for which ever one you enjoy writing more or have more ideas for and dont sya you dont know of course you do you just cant be bothered to think. dont worry wr all like that! remeber you can always come back to the other idea and rewrite it with different charceters making it better! Actually i decided to go with this one because i have wayy more idea's for this one and the story line is wayy better then the other one |
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boredd
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khadar747 wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** In the city of Shikyo, There are uncanny phenomenon's that happen, children disappear, men turn to murder and suicide but no one understands why. The city has been confined, no one can go in and nobody can leave. Children are born with extra arm's or eyes and are marked as blasphemies. But one day something occurred that will change Shikyo forever. There he was running away from the overly sized crow a young boy around 5'9 wearing a white leather jacket, black pants, and a light blue shirt with a design of a wolf, he had black hair and fair skin. he was gasping for air tired from running down the street to get away from the crow. Hi my name is Crest I"m here running away for my life. This is the town of Shikyo a town where tall buildings touch the sky, the sky is always grey, The city has changed throughout the years, It used to be flourishing with stores and many nice people and now its quiet, dirty, boring, and dangerous. I was walking home from the grocery store when a flock of crows saw me with food. The leader of the flock a five foot crow with a scar on his eye flew full speed to attack me. I ran all the way to the alley to find myself at a dead end, I turned around and picked up a stick and threw it at the bird, the bird dodged the stick and started diving towards me. Take this Crest a mysterious acute voice threw a gun to me and I shot it immediately, the bullet hit the bird's wing and it fell to the ground still alive but barely. Crest looked around to see who gave him the gun and from the top of the garbage can he saw his childhood friend Sonia a young girl around the same age as Crest with a pink shirt and white pants covered in mud and water. Her eyes were luminous blue and full of joy. I was lucky she came or I would have been a goner. She walked up to the bird with a dispiriting look and grabbed the dusty rag near the garbage can. She started to whisper to the bird maybe saying a prayer or asking for forgiveness then she wrapped the bird with the rag and brought it to me, out of disgust I told her to keep it away from me. It was the first time I've seen her with a such a melancholy aura. I asked where she was going, she didn't reply and walked towards the polluted river she gently put the bird on the river and let the current slowly take it away to the crevice of dawn. She then turned around with a happy look almost as if none of that had happen. She was a very fond towards animals, i guess the death of one was too much for her to handle, shall we go she said, and i replied yes in a confused manner. The walk back home was very quiet nothing was said until Anton ran towards us with a sheet of paper. Anton is a tall 6 foot boy, he had green iniquitous eye's and fair skin, his hair was lime green, he wore a dark green jacket with fur around the hood and tight pants, He told us that a test was being held at the local science facility, and the people hosting it are paying a hefty amount of money for test subject, Sonia didn't think it was a good idea but I couldn't say no to money so i went with him, Sonia still tagged along. As soon as we got their a receptionist told us to wait in the other room until the scientist comes in. We walked into a room cluttered with other people, i guessed they were here for the same reason. The scientist walked in and looked around and surprised at the amount of people here. He called me and Anton and five other people around our age, he gently thanked the people who came and asked them to collect their money and go home. We walked into a professional looking laboratory, with seven circles on the floor with unique designs on each one. He asked for each of our names and led us each to the circles. He told us to step in the center of each circle without telling us what he was researching or why we are needed. after we stepped into each circle a incandescent light came from each circle. Tell me if i should continue with this or if i should continue with grafitti so have you fought of giveing up on "Graffitti", I think is a cooler name than Chainz... so may I loock&close that one this one's much more intresting and I can see what's actually going on |
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SCORPIO, the Scorpion, Eagle or Gray Lizard
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Member
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RihgisKhan wrote: khadar747 wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** In the city of Shikyo, There are uncanny phenomenon's that happen, children disappear, men turn to murder and suicide but no one understands why. The city has been confined, no one can go in and nobody can leave. Children are born with extra arm's or eyes and are marked as blasphemies. But one day something occurred that will change Shikyo forever. There he was running away from the overly sized crow a young boy around 5'9 wearing a white leather jacket, black pants, and a light blue shirt with a design of a wolf, he had black hair and fair skin. he was gasping for air tired from running down the street to get away from the crow. Hi my name is Crest I"m here running away for my life. This is the town of Shikyo a town where tall buildings touch the sky, the sky is always grey, The city has changed throughout the years, It used to be flourishing with stores and many nice people and now its quiet, dirty, boring, and dangerous. I was walking home from the grocery store when a flock of crows saw me with food. The leader of the flock a five foot crow with a scar on his eye flew full speed to attack me. I ran all the way to the alley to find myself at a dead end, I turned around and picked up a stick and threw it at the bird, the bird dodged the stick and started diving towards me. Take this Crest a mysterious acute voice threw a gun to me and I shot it immediately, the bullet hit the bird's wing and it fell to the ground still alive but barely. Crest looked around to see who gave him the gun and from the top of the garbage can he saw his childhood friend Sonia a young girl around the same age as Crest with a pink shirt and white pants covered in mud and water. Her eyes were luminous blue and full of joy. I was lucky she came or I would have been a goner. She walked up to the bird with a dispiriting look and grabbed the dusty rag near the garbage can. She started to whisper to the bird maybe saying a prayer or asking for forgiveness then she wrapped the bird with the rag and brought it to me, out of disgust I told her to keep it away from me. It was the first time I've seen her with a such a melancholy aura. I asked where she was going, she didn't reply and walked towards the polluted river she gently put the bird on the river and let the current slowly take it away to the crevice of dawn. She then turned around with a happy look almost as if none of that had happen. She was a very fond towards animals, i guess the death of one was too much for her to handle, shall we go she said, and i replied yes in a confused manner. The walk back home was very quiet nothing was said until Anton ran towards us with a sheet of paper. Anton is a tall 6 foot boy, he had green iniquitous eye's and fair skin, his hair was lime green, he wore a dark green jacket with fur around the hood and tight pants, He told us that a test was being held at the local science facility, and the people hosting it are paying a hefty amount of money for test subject, Sonia didn't think it was a good idea but I couldn't say no to money so i went with him, Sonia still tagged along. As soon as we got their a receptionist told us to wait in the other room until the scientist comes in. We walked into a room cluttered with other people, i guessed they were here for the same reason. The scientist walked in and looked around and surprised at the amount of people here. He called me and Anton and five other people around our age, he gently thanked the people who came and asked them to collect their money and go home. We walked into a professional looking laboratory, with seven circles on the floor with unique designs on each one. He asked for each of our names and led us each to the circles. He told us to step in the center of each circle without telling us what he was researching or why we are needed. after we stepped into each circle a incandescent light came from each circle. Tell me if i should continue with this or if i should continue with grafitti so have you fought of giveing up on "Graffitti", I think is a cooler name than Chainz... so may I loock&close that one this one's much more intresting and I can see what's actually going on ya go ahead and lock grafitti but u could also .........put a star on chainz ^.^ or raname it to match everyones else like khadar747 manga/story/anime "Chainz" |
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boredd
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khadar747 wrote: RihgisKhan wrote: khadar747 wrote: ** Spoiler Alert!!! click to hide or show** In the city of Shikyo, There are uncanny phenomenon's that happen, children disappear, men turn to murder and suicide but no one understands why. The city has been confined, no one can go in and nobody can leave. Children are born with extra arm's or eyes and are marked as blasphemies. But one day something occurred that will change Shikyo forever. There he was running away from the overly sized crow a young boy around 5'9 wearing a white leather jacket, black pants, and a light blue shirt with a design of a wolf, he had black hair and fair skin. he was gasping for air tired from running down the street to get away from the crow. Hi my name is Crest I"m here running away for my life. This is the town of Shikyo a town where tall buildings touch the sky, the sky is always grey, The city has changed throughout the years, It used to be flourishing with stores and many nice people and now its quiet, dirty, boring, and dangerous. I was walking home from the grocery store when a flock of crows saw me with food. The leader of the flock a five foot crow with a scar on his eye flew full speed to attack me. I ran all the way to the alley to find myself at a dead end, I turned around and picked up a stick and threw it at the bird, the bird dodged the stick and started diving towards me. Take this Crest a mysterious acute voice threw a gun to me and I shot it immediately, the bullet hit the bird's wing and it fell to the ground still alive but barely. Crest looked around to see who gave him the gun and from the top of the garbage can he saw his childhood friend Sonia a young girl around the same age as Crest with a pink shirt and white pants covered in mud and water. Her eyes were luminous blue and full of joy. I was lucky she came or I would have been a goner. She walked up to the bird with a dispiriting look and grabbed the dusty rag near the garbage can. She started to whisper to the bird maybe saying a prayer or asking for forgiveness then she wrapped the bird with the rag and brought it to me, out of disgust I told her to keep it away from me. It was the first time I've seen her with a such a melancholy aura. I asked where she was going, she didn't reply and walked towards the polluted river she gently put the bird on the river and let the current slowly take it away to the crevice of dawn. She then turned around with a happy look almost as if none of that had happen. She was a very fond towards animals, i guess the death of one was too much for her to handle, shall we go she said, and i replied yes in a confused manner. The walk back home was very quiet nothing was said until Anton ran towards us with a sheet of paper. Anton is a tall 6 foot boy, he had green iniquitous eye's and fair skin, his hair was lime green, he wore a dark green jacket with fur around the hood and tight pants, He told us that a test was being held at the local science facility, and the people hosting it are paying a hefty amount of money for test subject, Sonia didn't think it was a good idea but I couldn't say no to money so i went with him, Sonia still tagged along. As soon as we got their a receptionist told us to wait in the other room until the scientist comes in. We walked into a room cluttered with other people, i guessed they were here for the same reason. The scientist walked in and looked around and surprised at the amount of people here. He called me and Anton and five other people around our age, he gently thanked the people who came and asked them to collect their money and go home. We walked into a professional looking laboratory, with seven circles on the floor with unique designs on each one. He asked for each of our names and led us each to the circles. He told us to step in the center of each circle without telling us what he was researching or why we are needed. after we stepped into each circle a incandescent light came from each circle. Tell me if i should continue with this or if i should continue with grafitti so have you fought of giveing up on "Graffitti", I think is a cooler name than Chainz... so may I loock&close that one this one's much more intresting and I can see what's actually going on ya go ahead and lock grafitti but u could also .........put a star on chainz ^.^ or raname it to match everyones else like khadar747 manga/story/anime "Chainz" sure thing budd... I will look I need help whit my anime because the ppl will give ideas and sugestions in your anime forum.. |
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SCORPIO, the Scorpion, Eagle or Gray Lizard
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Moderator
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I will keep my mouth shut;
I need more story before I say anything about it. Keep going Khadar! |
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GETITOFFMEEEE!!!
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Member
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i like it! if you need help just ask.
i'd love to do so! |
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fated to forever tread that endless path.
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Rookie
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i like it too. It's mysterious but the characters are good and the plot's exciting
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