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own stories...?
Posted 6/6/08

droondood wrote:

SORRY BUT CAN YOU READ THIS FROM BOTTOM UP I TYPED THIS INTO SOMEONE's GUESTBOOK AND I JUST COPY PASTED


ok i ran out of space... so all the people who tried to adopt him got involved in some "accident"
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and then he finally got out, and they show a little part of his life out of the organization... such as like getting money, getting food, and other survival stuff until he finally goes to school ( all the people who tried to adopt him (cont
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so him and the surviving two kids were seperated, (took him 2 weeks to get out, they were seperated a little before 1 week in because of some accident)
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ok i change my mind there weren't 3 kids.... ok wvr lets just say one of the boys that escaped w/ them died on the way....
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and then they get all genius and kill people, do other cool stuff, and they finally get out lolz this would be a BIG part of the manga
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ya... and the other two kids were hiding and shooting the "bad people".... yeah.... and then they found out that the weren't out of the organization yet....
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but one of the "bad people" cuts him in the eye, and so his dying sister told him to take her eye out, which he does, and then he sticks it into his socket lolz (kinda... got this from naruto... im trying to be original)
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and he had some power that let him make the knife into a dark hole....
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they see bodies of the other escaping children.... then they are about to get out of the place when the guards find them and kill the main character's sister... the main character goes crazy and takes the knife and kills them all with it :)
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and the siblings took this as a chance to escape with 2 other boys and another girl.... they hung one of the guards with a rope and took his 2 pistols, and his knife.... then they killed everyone they encountered w/ the gun (w/ a silencer)
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so then the siblings were sent to the organization and they were experimented on... one day one of the experiments went wrong and one of the children went on a rampage and started killing everyone and blowing things up....
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then sold him to some organization which experimented on children.... so.... oh ya i forgot he had a sister too
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yeah... so... yeah so this is his life story..... he lived a normal life until he was about 4 and a half, when his mom was killed in a car accident and his dad commited suicide.... so then someon adopted him and kept him for 2 months and
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ok... so this is the story...... theres a guy, hes like 15-16 years old, and hes an "assasin" (these days we call them hitmen) .... ok.... so he accepts jobs and only if he gets payed partially in gold


you wrote this? are u gunna make it into a story?
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Posted 6/6/08 , edited 6/6/08
Check out my bunch of pages for my incomplete chapter of The CleaMatra. Don't worry, I'll finish this soon. http://sykactor.blogspot.com/ *read left to right*
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Posted 6/6/08

droondood wrote:


moratorium wrote:


I really like how you word things. "I reached into my pocket to pull out a smile," give or take the correct words to make it a direct quote, is a really great line.
The only critique I've got concerns grammar, but that is something easily changed and not relative to the actual quality of the story. I'd suggest getting someone to beta the story as you go along, that way you'll always have fresh eyes to help you out.


ill spellcheck later basically it took like 3 min to type, and its due 2morrrow, at this point its just about filling up paper, that vid sure messed me up bad, my drive right now is miniscule, an its just a creative write anyway

basically the smile out of his pocket is a fake one cuz he feels his job at best buy is unimportant or sumthing like that now im just going to make it random


Good luck getting it done. It looks like it'll turn out pretty good.

thank you as always

LOVE UR AVI ITS AWESOME ONE OF MY FAVORITE ANIMES GREAT YOU ARE AWESOME I WANT TO GIVE U A HUG EVEN IF UR A GUY WOW ITS SO AWESOME WOW WOW WOW

*edit NVM i REaalyyy DONT want to hug u anymore ok?

okay are you sure 20% off? for the day

Wtf? ur post is so confusing

20% of all hugs i meant
Posted 6/6/08
tried... but most were not finished. recently my latest story too is affected by writer's block. i don't even know if i can continue with it anymore. i only have 2 chapters left for it to be done.
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Posted 6/6/08 , edited 6/7/08
Well, I have this story:
"There is this girl named Maki Casanova who is 16 years old, and is in fourth year highschool. She is a tomboyish girl with a charismatic personality, but has a hidden past which only her childhood friends know about. She used to be a juvenile delinquent and a leader of a gang called "Adones", the most powerful and influential among the delinquent groups. During her previous years in highschool, she has done quite a number of notorious deeds that caused an uproar among the townsfolk. But something- or someone- made her change her ways of delinquency, and she now leads a normal trouble-free life in school, or so she thought. Old rivals are coming back to challenge her, and some ex-members of her now disbanded gang have come to make her return to being their leader and revive the "Adones", by force if necessary. Of course things will get messy, but with the help of her trustworthy friends and allies, she will prevail and bring peace to the town and finally, to herself."

What do you guys think?? The plot may be a bit common, but I tried my best to make some tweeks to make it unique. Also, if you could, give me some suggestions as well. It will really help. Thanks.
Posted 7/5/08
hmmm...

Title: Parallel

Introduction:

Lloyd, a 3rd year highschool student that is about to be transferred to another school. He leads a strange life, and is ill for 10 years of an unknown sickness that is said to limit his life to 5 years after his diagnosis to the disease. Proved doctor's prediction was wrong, he thought that he is already safe. However, a sudden incident changed his life. All of a sudden he passed out when he was on his way to school, when he woke up he noticed that he is already in a very dark solitary world where no one is around. A cold world where only darkness is present, nothing can be felt but coldness, nothing can be heard but silence. Suddenly he felt something warm and realized that he was not alone. Confirming the identity of a person. He was shocked in finding out that she was a school girl around his age still in uniform. After knowing her identity, the place suddenly changed.

A light bluish light suddenly appeared out of nowhere and began sucking them. At first Lloyd tried to get away, but his struggle did not pay off. He was sucked into the darkhole-like thing and lost his consciousness.
When he woke up, he wakes up in a hospital and is said to be unconscious for almost 1 and a half year according to the nurse. 2 weeks later, he was discharged from the hospital with his hospitalization fees paid. Aside from the hospitalization the incident that he experienced before he passed out becomes a huge mystery to him. When he tries to get home, his house is no more and his hometown changed to what it used to be.

Unknowing to him, he is not already in the same world that he used to live. But a world which is similar but is different at the same time.
Posted 7/5/08
As stated by snow-chibiImage, this is a duplicate

~Locked
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