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Posted 1/25/09
This one went all New Moon on me...
But I swear, it wasn't my intention.


I could only stare on that foggy morning. I could only stare when the words flowed out of his mouth… from between his perfect lips. Every crevasse, every movement… They all were perfectly engraved into my mind, never to be weathered away; always there staring at me in the face. I could only stare… stare because my mind was numb… my body was numb. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. Nothing. I could only… I could only stare.
No, I couldn’t hear it… Strangely there was nothing I could hear. I only read those words on his lips… and his pain from saying those words that were etched onto his face…
His face… His deep black eyes that sparkled when he smiled… that glistened in the sun… His prominent nose and tall cheekbones… All so perfect against that alabaster hued face… That beautiful face that’ll forever remain with me… next to my normal one on the single picture on my tabletop.
It never made sense… I knew that… For him to love me… I had thought it was a dream… such a beautiful dream at that… Beautiful, breath-taking… everything I could possibly hope for.
But like all dreams… it disappeared… It disappeared with the cruel reality of waking up… Well… the cruel waking up called reality. Ironically… this was like a nightmare… only such a beautiful nightmare… one that you know will stay with you for the rest of your life.
I could remember his cold skin against mine… no difference, I was as numb as it is… I had hoped he would stay… And when he walked away, I had hoped he would turn… And when he disappeared into the trees… I had hoped I would wake up. But something inside me knew this wasn’t a dream… My damned sub-consciousness… I could hear my own breathing getting shorter and shallower as waking tears pooled in my eyes, spilling over to form hot trails against my cheeks… so painful against my cold skin.
No coherent words flashed through my mind… That I remember. But I remember my legs giving out from underneath me… and my bare knees against the dew-drenched… cold earth. My eyes never trailed from that very spot where he disappeared into, as fast as lightning. My head never turned when I fell… only turning down to the ground when my hands shook against the cool, muddy ground. All this time the tears kept flowing… dipping through the edges of my lips into my mouth, salty against my tongue… then some sodden against the already moist ground.
Something dragged me up… another deed from my subconscious mind. Something dragged me up on my feet and made me follow him through the bramble-filled woods. I ran… ran as fast as I could… straining each and every step to pull my soaked shoe up from the slick floor. Impatiently I kicked them off, but regretting it when I reached the rocks.
…But I didn’t care then… I remember… I remember tears… pain… regret… weariness… fatigue… And all the while more tears…
I ran blindly through the cold woods… cold, unfamiliar woods. I could feel wetness under my worn-though sock that had nothing to do with the ground… and the same wetness on the palms of my hands… Every time I slipped, not wanting to get up any longer… That same something would push me up and force me forward, refusing the lethargy.
Pain radiated from every inch of my body… muscles from exhaustion… feet from running… hands from steadying myself every few steps… lungs from not being able to breath properly, from crying and running… eyes from the burning hot tears… ears from each painful rustle of the leaf that would replay the scene in my mind… throat from the seemingly endless coating of dust from breathing through my mouth… mind from… from being blank… being blank to everything except that few minutes of my life… then my chest. There was a strained, negative feeling coming from my chest, like someone’s fist is tightly clenched around my heart, preventing it to move, to supply blood.
Then finally, fatigue won over. This time when I fell to the ground, I couldn’t stand back up. Nothing that force did could stand me up straight to run again… could make me chase after him any more… All I could do is lay there… who knew how long? I just lay on the soggy ground, replaying the scene over and over again… That’s just it… I know this… But I don’t want to… I don’t want to know this…
My breathing eased up, but silent tears still flowed down my face, now all onto the left side because of my position. My blurry vision couldn’t focus on anything… My exhausted mind couldn’t process anything… My worn out body couldn’t connect with anything… But there was just one thing that ran through my mind… Like a sole part of the hard drive saved from the destructive virus…
He was gone. He is gone. He’s gone, gone forever for all I know. He’s gone. Gone, just like that. If I had known it I would’ve pressed against him longer the last time we hugged, would’ve stayed still a bit longer the last time we kissed, would’ve stayed a bit quieter during our last rendezvous… He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone…
He’s gone.
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Posted 2/15/09
those words that haunts me up till now, why can't i seem to erase it from my mind? you standing up and your arms wide open looking at me and telling me that you don't love me. you didn't say those words exactly but from hearing what you said, that's what it means right?
i know it's my fault for falling in love with a guy i don't really know that much but those days and usually nights i spent with you was fun! you're really hilarious and i enjoyed being with you though you don't notice me much. yes, you know my name but apart from that, that's all you know about me. i really didn't introduce myself to you properly cause i wasn't interested but boy when i spent time with you! it was amazing! maybe that's how i fell in love with you.
those times when you still didn't know about how i feel was exhausting. you don't notice me, you don't care when i suddenly sit beside you and share my food and heck, you don't even talk to me unless i take the courage to start a conversation with you. see.. it's pretty exhausting..ahaha
February 12, 2009. we suddenly planned to drink at Smooch's place. maybe if it weren't for my contribution, the plan of drinking would be postponed. but i wanted to drink to forget the fact that my crush for you turned to love and i can't stop it! my friend told me not to fall for you cause you're one of my peers who only thinks of me as a friend or i think not a friend but just a peer cause we aren't really that close. but i can't help it! what i can only do is to get drunk and cry! and that's what i did! i got so drunk that i said so many things about me and i guess my tongue just slipped and while holding your hand, i asked,

"why am i falling in love with a guy that i don't even know?"

it seems you're too smart to not notice it, you understood what i was trying to say so you got up out of your chair, standing and looking at me with a worried face but very angry voice telling me that i should stop falling for you cause you don't feel the same way about me! seeing that i won't stop crying, you sat down and in a low voice you said,

"stop being childish. be matured."

i tried to stop my tears from falling for a while and listened to what you're about to say. i listened to your heartfelt and yet hurtful explanation but i can't stand the thought of you hurting me so suddenly that i slapped you! the look on your face when i slapped you so hard that shocked Cess and John made me feel guilty for hurting the guy i love but you slowly looked at me with a serious face and said,

"if it would make you feel better, go! slap me! i wouldn't mind."

because you don't mind, i slapped you until my right hand went numb and just gently touched your left cheek and my head rested on your chest while crying so hard with our friends still confused and wondering why the heck did i do that to you.
i didn't remember anything after that. when i got home, i quickly went to my room and continued crying cause i was still seeing your face in my mind when you rejected me.
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Posted 2/15/09
it's in my pages if you want to comment..rofl

http://www.crunchyroll.com/user/ruchi08/pages/rejected
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Posted 2/18/09

Nina756 wrote:

when i was young my mom told me a story about a boy who was blind..so..there once was a boy(this is true just so you know) he liked this girl but he was blind so he didn't really get to see wat she looked like..so he hated himself..then one day the boy promised the girl he would marry her when he can see again..then the girl was over joyed...so then one day the boy woke up at the hospital..(I know this is the confusing part..i just don't like saying everything ) anyway..he woke up at the hopital..he opened his eyes..he saw the lights of the hospital..then he saw his gf..she asked if he could marry her now since he can see.....he said no.. then the girl said ok..and a tear rolled down her cheeks.. she went outside..then when the boy got up he saw a note beside his pillow...it said "dear love,i'm glad you can see again...and i understand..just.. TAKE CARE OF MY EYES FOR ME... THE END..i cried at so much at the ending..


thats soo sad
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Posted 2/18/09
when i was a little(about 5), me and my friends decided to do a surprise party at for another friend's birthday...so when the day came...the parents took her to visit her grandma so she would be busy the whole morning...when we called the father to bring her back home, he didn't sound too well...we waited until someone came through the door and we all yelled surprise...but it was not the girl, but her father....he told us that she got hit by a car...it turns out that she ran ahead and the car that hit her went out of control.....she died instantly....everyone there cried the whole day....i went home with some friends instead of going to the hospital....i couldn't bare to see her died.....

it was sooo long ago, i can't really remember it
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Posted 2/21/09

Nina756 wrote:

when i was young my mom told me a story about a boy who was blind..so..there once was a boy(this is true just so you know) he liked this girl but he was blind so he didn't really get to see wat she looked like..so he hated himself..then one day the boy promised the girl he would marry her when he can see again..then the girl was over joyed...so then one day the boy woke up at the hospital..(I know this is the confusing part..i just don't like saying everything ) anyway..he woke up at the hopital..he opened his eyes..he saw the lights of the hospital..then he saw his gf..she asked if he could marry her now since he can see.....he said no.. then the girl said ok..and a tear rolled down her cheeks.. she went outside..then when the boy got up he saw a note beside his pillow...it said "dear love,i'm glad you can see again...and i understand..just.. TAKE CARE OF MY EYES FOR ME... THE END..i cried at so much at the ending.. ”



Omg what a fucked up story LOL! SO CHEATED! i hate stories like that annoys me LOL! Y________________Y;
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Posted 2/24/09

anime_person wrote:

when i was a little(about 5), me and my friends decided to do a surprise party at for another friend's birthday...so when the day came...the parents took her to visit her grandma so she would be busy the whole morning...when we called the father to bring her back home, he didn't sound too well...we waited until someone came through the door and we all yelled surprise...but it was not the girl, but her father....he told us that she got hit by a car...it turns out that she ran ahead and the car that hit her went out of control.....she died instantly....everyone there cried the whole day....i went home with some friends instead of going to the hospital....i couldn't bare to see her died.....

it was sooo long ago, i can't really remember it


I am soo sorry....that's so horrible and depressing!
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Posted 2/24/09

kitkat6 wrote:


anime_person wrote:

when i was a little(about 5), me and my friends decided to do a surprise party at for another friend's birthday...so when the day came...the parents took her to visit her grandma so she would be busy the whole morning...when we called the father to bring her back home, he didn't sound too well...we waited until someone came through the door and we all yelled surprise...but it was not the girl, but her father....he told us that she got hit by a car...it turns out that she ran ahead and the car that hit her went out of control.....she died instantly....everyone there cried the whole day....i went home with some friends instead of going to the hospital....i couldn't bare to see her died.....

it was sooo long ago, i can't really remember it


I am soo sorry....that's so horrible and depressing!


thanks!! but i feel much better now!!
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Posted 3/1/09
I have no guts.

The first time i ever met her was at work she was nice And i wanted to tell her I liked her straight away. =/ but i had a girlfriend. So doing the right thing i brushed it off.

Going out with her the first time. I was single again and decided to tell her i liked her. Found out that night she had a boyfriend. Didn't ask her out.

We became good friends after i started ignoring my feelings. We became quite close! good buddies so to speak.

The day she broke up with her Boyfriend she called me up crying. I told her everything was going to be okay and id be there for her no matter what. We became closer than just friends for the next 3 months. I still didn't ask her out because i knew she was on the rebound.

One day we were talking about how much we meant to each other and i guess it was the right time to tell her. I had a fling with another girl a week before that and so she wanted to talk to me about it. I told her everything and she seemed weired about it all. I made a mistake being honest with her about that.

More months past and we were still good friends doing good things! I wanted to tell her so badly that i liked her but she always kept changing th subject.

One day i had a fight with my parents and called her up. I was sad. Almost on the brink of crying but id never do that because i was a man. I had to be strong. She told me shed always be there for me. I told her that she was the only one that could ever make me happy when im down. We met the next day and she comforted me.I still didn't tell her i liked her.

I didn't get to see her for a long long time because i went on a holiday with my family. I kept in contact wither her calling her weekly. I promised myself id tell her how i felt when i got back. I wanted to do it in person.

When i got back i asked her out to dinner. I was feeling a bit awkward coz i hadn't seen her in a while. Im sure she felt the same. We didnt talk much about how we felt. We went to dinner and she brought a girlfriend of hers. I was devastated coz i thought we were gonna eat alone. I didnt get a chance to tell her.

Two weeks later her girlfriend told me to just ask her out already. I swore once again that I would. I couldn't wait any longer so i called her up with the intention of telling her. Her X boyfriend answered! I was too late.

I never forgot how much i loved her but i decided to move on. it had been almost half a year when i finally spoke to her again. I was sitting on some steps near my work when she bumped into me. She didn't even say hi. She just said she really needed to talk to me. I was confused. I gave her my new number and that night she called me asking to meet her for lunch. I swore again id tell her i liked her. I didnt care if she had a boyfriend.

Next day she called me up saying she couldnt make it. I was so Annoyed! fustrated. I didnt know what to do. I really hated myself for not doing anything. I'd been wondering for so long............how couldnt i not ever say anything. I didnt have any guts.

till this day i still think about her. ALL the time. We are now just casual friends but i never forgot how i felt about her. I think i am 2 late. People ask me why i dont smile as much as i used to. Its most likely because i would have been thinking about her at the time.

*Sigh* Anyong else finding it hard to tell someone u love them? FFS! i cant be the only one im sure. Y_Y;




Posted 3/2/09

kingmole wrote:

I have no guts.

The first time i ever met her was at work she was nice And i wanted to tell her I liked her straight away. =/ but i had a girlfriend. So doing the right thing i brushed it off.

Going out with her the first time. I was single again and decided to tell her i liked her. Found out that night she had a boyfriend. Didn't ask her out.

We became good friends after i started ignoring my feelings. We became quite close! good buddies so to speak.

The day she broke up with her Boyfriend she called me up crying. I told her everything was going to be okay and id be there for her no matter what. We became closer than just friends for the next 3 months. I still didn't ask her out because i knew she was on the rebound.

One day we were talking about how much we meant to each other and i guess it was the right time to tell her. I had a fling with another girl a week before that and so she wanted to talk to me about it. I told her everything and she seemed weired about it all. I made a mistake being honest with her about that.

More months past and we were still good friends doing good things! I wanted to tell her so badly that i liked her but she always kept changing th subject.

One day i had a fight with my parents and called her up. I was sad. Almost on the brink of crying but id never do that because i was a man. I had to be strong. She told me shed always be there for me. I told her that she was the only one that could ever make me happy when im down. We met the next day and she comforted me.I still didn't tell her i liked her.

I didn't get to see her for a long long time because i went on a holiday with my family. I kept in contact wither her calling her weekly. I promised myself id tell her how i felt when i got back. I wanted to do it in person.

When i got back i asked her out to dinner. I was feeling a bit awkward coz i hadn't seen her in a while. Im sure she felt the same. We didnt talk much about how we felt. We went to dinner and she brought a girlfriend of hers. I was devastated coz i thought we were gonna eat alone. I didnt get a chance to tell her.

Two weeks later her girlfriend told me to just ask her out already. I swore once again that I would. I couldn't wait any longer so i called her up with the intention of telling her. Her X boyfriend answered! I was too late.

I never forgot how much i loved her but i decided to move on. it had been almost half a year when i finally spoke to her again. I was sitting on some steps near my work when she bumped into me. She didn't even say hi. She just said she really needed to talk to me. I was confused. I gave her my new number and that night she called me asking to meet her for lunch. I swore again id tell her i liked her. I didnt care if she had a boyfriend.

Next day she called me up saying she couldnt make it. I was so Annoyed! fustrated. I didnt know what to do. I really hated myself for not doing anything. I'd been wondering for so long............how couldnt i not ever say anything. I didnt have any guts.

till this day i still think about her. ALL the time. We are now just casual friends but i never forgot how i felt about her. I think i am 2 late. People ask me why i dont smile as much as i used to. Its most likely because i would have been thinking about her at the time.

*Sigh* Anyong else finding it hard to tell someone u love them? FFS! i cant be the only one im sure. Y_Y;






....woow.....it QUIte INTERESTING How FATE ARE LAY out for u~~but i believe that if it meant to be it wiLL never be too late~~ and i am suRE there will be a time when u knoW it is the right moment or not! the best thinG to do IS Not FEEL reGRET~~DO WHAT U WANT TO dO^^.......BWT that NeVER happen TO mE BEfore HOWEVER i understand the feeling of waiting and beiNg eager for someone~~it is tiring

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