First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
Post Reply joke and riddles section
Member
8 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22
Offline
Posted 5/6/08 , edited 5/6/08
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?

STUDENT: Seven.

TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?

STUDENT: Nine.

TEACHER: That's impossible.

STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
Member
8769 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / small red dot
Offline
Posted 5/7/08
riddles :
what can you never answer yes too
ps there two ans
Member
3270 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
39 / M / Singapore
Offline
Posted 5/7/08
Lee Sum Wan : Hello can I speak to Annie Wan?
Mr Sori : Yes you could speak to me.
Lee Sum Wan : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Mr Sori : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Lee Sum Wan : Im Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.
Mr Sori : I know u are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But whats this urgent matter about?
Lee Sum Wan : Well, just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.
Mr Sori : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident, that is'nt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but i dont have time for this!!!
Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?
Mr Sori : Im Sori.
Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now give me your name!
Mr Sori : Im Sori!!
Lee Sum Wan : I don't like your tone of voice mister and I don't care, give me your name!
Mr Sori : Look lady, I told you already I'm Sori! I'm Sori!! I'm SORI!!! You didn't even give me your name!
Lee Sum Wan : I told u before I'm Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the company. He is Noe Buddy.
Mr Sori : Oh I'm so scared(sarcastically). Look I dont care about your uncle he's a nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important position in the company.
Lee Sum Wan : No, Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn't work there.
Mr Sori : Like i said i dont care which one of your aunt screws everybody and i also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!
Lee Sum Wan : Wheech Wan is my sister!
Mr. Sori : I don't know which one is your sis! Why in God's name you think i do!? Look i got work to do and if i'm feeling mischievious i'll broadcast it on the P.A system saying.

"Attention, someone called and said that anyone's brother just got involved in an accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways. The father maybe a somebody but if you're their uncle, you're a nobody." How bout that!?
Member
3270 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
39 / M / Singapore
Offline
Posted 5/7/08

> >CLASS TIME . =) *
> >
> >
> >The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any
> >teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned quiet. That is because
> >the fiercest teacher in the school had entered the class. Her
> >face is as fierce as a lion which will bite anyone's head off if
> >offended... And if you wanna know more.... follow the lesson.
> >
> >
> >Students: Good morning , teacher .
> >
> >Teacher : (shouting) Why is it only good morning ? What about
> >afternoon and night ?
> >
> >Students : Good morning, afternoon and night teacher !!
> >
> >Teacher : That is unacceptable ! It is too long . Just wish
> >me best regards for my whole day! That is much better as it is easier and
> >full of meaning. And that greeting can also be used for all
> >times .
> >
> >Students : Best regards teacher!
> >
> >Teacher : That's better, sit down! Listen today I,m going to test
> >you all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a
> >sentence or word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite
> >meaning to the words, understand?
> >
> >Students: Understood teacher !
> >
> >Teacher : I do not want any disturbance .
> >
> >Students : (silence)
> >
> >Teacher : Clever!
> >
> >Students : Stupid!
> >
> >Teacher : High!
> >
> >Students : Low!
> >
> >Teacher : Popular!
> >
> >Students: Calafare!
> >
> >Teacher : Wrong!
> >
> >Students: Correct!
> >
> >Teacher : Stupid!
> >
> >Students : Clever!
> >
> >Teacher : No!
> >
> >Students: Yes!
> >
> >Teacher : Oh God!
> >
> >Students : Oh Slave!
> >
> >Teacher : Listen to this!
> >
> >Students: Listen to that!
> >
> >Teacher : Quiet!
> >
> >Students: Noisy!
> >
> >Teacher : That's not a question, stupid !!
> >
> >Students: This is an answer, clever!
> >
> >Teacher : I'm dead!
> >
> >Students: We're alive!
> >
> >Teacher : I'm lazy to teach!
> >
> >Students : We are hardworking to learn!
> >
> >Teacher : Enough! Enough!
> >
> >Students : More! More!
> >
> >Teacher : Stop! Stop!
> >
> >Students : Start! Start!
> >
> >Teacher : Why are you people so stupid?!
> >
> >Students : Because I am someone clever!
> >
> >Teacher : Lack manners!
> >
> >Students: Taught enough!
> >
> >Teacher : O.K. Lesson has ended!
> >
> >Students: K.O. Lesson has not started!
> >
> >Teacher : Enough, stupid!
> >
> >Students: Not yet, clever!
> >
> >Teacher : Stand up!
> >
> >Students: Sit down!
> >
> >Teacher : I said CALAFARE was wrong!
> >
> >Students: We said POPULAR was correct!
> >
> >Teacher : You people are dumb!
> >
> >Students: We are gifted!
> >
> >Teacher : All of you must stay back this afternoon!
> >
> >Students : Released tonight!
> >
> >Teacher : (Keep quiet, gather her books and went out)
Member
3270 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
39 / M / Singapore
Offline
Posted 5/7/08
dis joke is from me~ i tink will be lame =X

What is the gang name of houGANG?






ANS: WRONG, THEY DONT HAVE ANY GANG XD
Posted 5/7/08
有一天,小明去看電影,買了票之後,就走進電影院。可是過了一會,又走出來買了一張票,再走進電影院。售票小姐覺得很奇怪,可是還是賣給他。結果又過了一分鐘,又見小明走向售票口,再買了一張票,這次售票小姐就問他說: "你不是已經買了票了嗎? 干嗎還要再買啊,小明就很生气的說我怎麼知道? 每次我一走進電影院,就有一個人把我的票撕掉。
Member
5344 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / Somewhere.....
Offline
Posted 5/7/08
Alright, so there's this prison cell, no doors, no windows, no openings of any sort. There is a prisoner in it, and he has a ruler. So how did he escape?

Click on the spoiler for the answer.... warning: it's freaking lame.


Disclaimer: I did not make the joke. I only use it to contribute to this thread.
Posted 5/22/08 , edited 5/22/08
ok...here's a lame joke.

wat did sushi A say to sushi B?
ans:

Member
18276 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Orb Union
Offline
Posted 5/22/08

chunky95 wrote:


> >CLASS TIME . =) *
> >
> >
> >The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any
> >teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned quiet. That is because
> >the fiercest teacher in the school had entered the class. Her
> >face is as fierce as a lion which will bite anyone's head off if
> >offended... And if you wanna know more.... follow the lesson.
> >
> >
> >Students: Good morning , teacher .
> >
> >Teacher : (shouting) Why is it only good morning ? What about
> >afternoon and night ?
> >
> >Students : Good morning, afternoon and night teacher !!
> >
> >Teacher : That is unacceptable ! It is too long . Just wish
> >me best regards for my whole day! That is much better as it is easier and
> >full of meaning. And that greeting can also be used for all
> >times .
> >
> >Students : Best regards teacher!
> >
> >Teacher : That's better, sit down! Listen today I,m going to test
> >you all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a
> >sentence or word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite
> >meaning to the words, understand?
> >
> >Students: Understood teacher !
> >
> >Teacher : I do not want any disturbance .
> >
> >Students : (silence)
> >
> >Teacher : Clever!
> >
> >Students : Stupid!
> >
> >Teacher : High!
> >
> >Students : Low!
> >
> >Teacher : Popular!
> >
> >Students: Calafare!
> >
> >Teacher : Wrong!
> >
> >Students: Correct!
> >
> >Teacher : Stupid!
> >
> >Students : Clever!
> >
> >Teacher : No!
> >
> >Students: Yes!
> >
> >Teacher : Oh God!
> >
> >Students : Oh Slave!
> >
> >Teacher : Listen to this!
> >
> >Students: Listen to that!
> >
> >Teacher : Quiet!
> >
> >Students: Noisy!
> >
> >Teacher : That's not a question, stupid !!
> >
> >Students: This is an answer, clever!
> >
> >Teacher : I'm dead!
> >
> >Students: We're alive!
> >
> >Teacher : I'm lazy to teach!
> >
> >Students : We are hardworking to learn!
> >
> >Teacher : Enough! Enough!
> >
> >Students : More! More!
> >
> >Teacher : Stop! Stop!
> >
> >Students : Start! Start!
> >
> >Teacher : Why are you people so stupid?!
> >
> >Students : Because I am someone clever!
> >
> >Teacher : Lack manners!
> >
> >Students: Taught enough!
> >
> >Teacher : O.K. Lesson has ended!
> >
> >Students: K.O. Lesson has not started!
> >
> >Teacher : Enough, stupid!
> >
> >Students: Not yet, clever!
> >
> >Teacher : Stand up!
> >
> >Students: Sit down!
> >
> >Teacher : I said CALAFARE was wrong!
> >
> >Students: We said POPULAR was correct!
> >
> >Teacher : You people are dumb!
> >
> >Students: We are gifted!
> >
> >Teacher : All of you must stay back this afternoon!
> >
> >Students : Released tonight!
> >
> >Teacher : (Keep quiet, gather her books and went out)


this is the funniest!!!
Member
431 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
76 / M / Singapore
Offline
Posted 5/22/08
小学生造句

1.题目: 原来

小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语: 妈妈关切一下

2.题目: ..一边........... 一边 ............ ..

小朋友写: 他一边脱衣服 ,一边穿裤子.
老师评语: 他到底要脱还是要穿啊~~

3.题目: 其中

小朋友写: 我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师评语: 你是蜈蚣?~~

4.题目: 一... 就....

小朋友写: 一只娃娃就要一百块。
老师评语: 老师笑到不行..

5. 題目: 你看

小朋友写: 你看什么看! 没看过啊

6. 照样造句

例题: 你 (唱歌) 我(跳舞)
小朋友写 : 你(好吗 ) 我(很好)
老师评语: 你在写英文翻译吗??

7.照样造句

例题: 别人都夸我( ),其实我( )
小朋友写: 别人都夸我( 很帅 ),其实我( 是戴面具的) 。
老师评语 : 什么面具这么好用???

8.题目: 好... 又好..

小朋友写: 妈妈的腿,好细又好粗...!
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗?

9. 题目 : 陆陆续续

小朋友写: 下班了,爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?

10.题目: 皮开肉绽

小朋友写: 停电的夜晚,到处很黑,我吓得皮开肉绽!
老师评语: 看到这句... 老师佩服你。

11.题目: 欣欣向荣-比喻生长美好的样子。

小朋友写: 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语: 孩子,你弟弟是植物人吗 ...

还有一个更瞎的…

小朋友写: 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语: 连续剧不要看太多~~

12. 题目: 谢谢....因为 ......

小朋友写 : 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!

13.题目: 难过

小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语 : 老师更难过......

14. 题目: 天才

小朋友写: 我3天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~~

15.題目: 一… 便 …

小朋友写: 我一走出门,对面就是便利商店。

还有一個更瞎的…

小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭,就大便。
老师评语: 造句不要乱造...

16. 題目: 又..... 又 .....

小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语:你妈妈......是怪物吗?

17果然

上课小朋友说:昨天我吃了水果,然后又喝了凉水
老师:这是词组,不能分开造句。
小朋友又说:老师,我还没说完呢,果然晚上我拉肚子了!
老师:…………

18 瓜分

小朋友:大傻瓜分不清是非
老师:小傻瓜也分不清

19 好吃

小朋友:好吃个屁
老师: ………

20 况且

小朋友:一辆火车经过,况且况且况且况且.....
老师:……………
Member
1560 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F / holding onto a bu...
Offline
Posted 5/29/08
诗萌: 你喜欢子轩!
春秋: 放屁!
诗萌: 你喜欢子轩放屁?!
春秋: *晕倒*
Member
101786 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
19 / F / singapore
Offline
Posted 5/29/08
all r so funni!
Posted 5/29/08
一對情侶吵架。

女:「你每一樣東西都比不上別人!」

男:「對,尤其是女朋友!」
Member
20924 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M / Singapore
Offline
Posted 5/29/08
Young Man: Have u heard about someone in this neighbourhood sayin 'NO' to question?.
Old Man:No
Young Man:So! You must be the one!
Posted 5/30/08

accw wrote:

riddles :
what can you never answer yes too
ps there two ans



Is it "are you stupid??" and "are you dum?"
First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.