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26 / M / 新加坡
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Posted 5/30/08
The JC Lightbulb Joke
[THE FOLLOWING LIGHTBUBLB JOKE IS PURELY A JOKE. NO INTENDED SACARSM OR HIDDEN AGEDNA.]

Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 4 whole faculties. One to design the new bulb, one to
manufacture and test it out, one to write a proposal on it and one to market it.

Q: How many HCJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The whole school. To compete with RJC.

Q: How many VJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The whole school. One student to screw it in and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support.

Q: How many NJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can study without light.

Q: How many AJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They're too busy trying to be one of the top 5 JCs.

Q: How many ACJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They'll rather use all their money to employ YJC to do it for them.

Q: How many YJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Only one teacher to tell them what a light bulb is in the first place and to demonstrate how to change the light bulb. (So how do you think they're able to change it for ACJC?)

Q: How many CJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They'll prefer it to be darker. (Hmmmm?*raises eye-brows* )

Q: How many JJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Their physics is so bad that they made their macho male physics teacher cry.

Q: How many TPJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Would they even bother?

Q: How many SAJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They believe in praying for it.

Q: How many NYJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are still using oil lamps.

Q: How many SRJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Huh, what litebarb?

Q: How many PJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Heck the light bulb lah, the principal would do something about the rightbarbs. Let's do 300 jumping jacks for not wearing the proper school attire.

Q: How many MJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are too busy trying to get promoted.

Q: How many IJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are Innovians. They'll find ways out of the dark.

Q: Who wrote all this?
A: A TJCian.

Q: How many TJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They think they are already very bright.


Pass it on, have a laugh (:
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28 / M / small red dot
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Posted 5/30/08

karupikafuji wrote:


accw wrote:

riddles :
what can you never answer yes too
ps there two ans



Is it "are you stupid??" and "are you dum?"


wrong
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31 / M / Singapore
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Posted 5/30/08


thz for the sharing... finally see the 'complete' version... but not sure if it is 'really' written as such...
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76 / M / Singapore
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Posted 5/31/08

accw wrote:


karupikafuji wrote:


accw wrote:

riddles :
what can you never answer yes too
ps there two ans



Is it "are you stupid??" and "are you dum?"


wrong


'Are you dead?'
'Has the world ended?'
'Does <insert mythical/ficticious creature, eg vampire> exist?'
'is accw hot?'
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28 / M / small red dot
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Posted 5/31/08

ki0n wrote:


accw wrote:


karupikafuji wrote:


accw wrote:

riddles :
what can you never answer yes too
ps there two ans



Is it "are you stupid??" and "are you dum?"


wrong


'Are you dead?'
'Has the world ended?'
'Does <insert mythical/ficticious creature, eg vampire> exist?'
'is accw hot?'


the real ans is 1 r u dead you r right half way 2 is r u alseep
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76 / M / Singapore
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Posted 5/31/08
also to add, there's 2 questions which cannot be answered with yes.... and no too!
'baby, do i look fat in this dress?'
'honey, do you love me?'

for the love of god, just stop asking these questions already! we know its a trick question since the day dinosaurs use umbrellas
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22 / F / lala.
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Posted 5/31/08

lauyiling wrote:

i dont understand your joke :/


Jie, it's a cold joke.
很冷的啦.
Posted 6/8/08
爸爸:「什麼?小明,你在看裸女照片小小年紀就做出這種事?說!這些照片那
裡來的?」
小明:「在你的抽屜拿的」


媽媽:「游泳真好」
小明:「媽,你愈來愈像魚了」
媽媽:「你是說像美人魚嗎?」
小明:「不是,你的魚尾紋愈來愈多了」


小明:「媽,你說做任何事,必須有始有終,不可以半途而廢,對不對?」
媽媽:「沒錯」
小明:「那,連續劇今天是完結篇,你不能阻止我看完」


妹妹:「哥,如果有不良少年勒索我們,怎麼辦?」
小明:「跑給他追」
妹妹:「你跑得贏他們嗎?」
小明:「我只要跑得贏你就行了」


老師:「小明,你的美勞作品太好了,明天學校要派你參加全市的比賽。」
小明:「不行」
老師:「為什麼?」
小明:「勞作是我爸做的,他明天要上班」


媽媽:「上下學不要落單,以免被不良少年勒索」
小明:「可是同學都不肯跟我一起走」
媽媽:「為什麼?」
妹妹:「他們怕被哥哥勒索」


小明:「媽,上次我和小毛打架打輸了,這次我打贏了」
媽媽:「幹嘛連打兩次架?」
小明:「你不是教我,在那裡跌倒,就要在那裡站起來嗎!」


媽媽:「小明,你看,妹妹考100分,你才50分」
小明:「我是照你的話做的」
媽媽:「我說了什麼?」
小明:「你說我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了」


妹妹:「哥,你是我見過最愛乾淨的人」
小明:「過獎了」「你是怎麼看出來的?」
妹妹:「不管什麼事,你都推得一乾二淨」


小明:「老師,我要上廁所」
老師:「不行,現在是上課時間」「剛才下課怎麼不去?」
小明:「下課時間那麼寶貴,用來上廁所多可惜呀!」


媽媽:「上完暑期輔導課就要馬上回家,為什麼不聽話?我最討厭不準時回家的
人...」
小明:「你幹嘛那麼生氣?你下班沒馬上回家作飯,我也沒生氣啊!」


小明:「妹妹,你幹嘛那麼用功?」
妹妹:「還不都是因為你」
小明:「我?」
妹妹:「沒錯,我們家總要有人有出息吧!」


老師:「 現在上『急救』課」「有人受傷,第一步要怎麼做?」
小明:「我知道」「問他要不要器官捐贈?」


老師:「 現在上『急救課』「先做口對口人工呼吸」「這樣重複做,會怎
樣?」
小明:「有人會告你性騷擾」
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25 / M / Singapore
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Posted 6/10/08
oh heres one

the profile of sum dumb idiot...

Name: xxxxx
D.O.B xx/x/xxxx
Sex: Yes Please
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76 / M / Singapore
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Posted 6/10/08
how about a resume like this

Name: my friends call me siao kia
D.O.B: i'm a son, not daughter ok
Sex: active
Contact Address: <insert application company's address>
City: Nurhaliza?
Country: very clean
Zip: Rusty
Home number: #10 -101
Mobile number: dun have leh, register at HDB ah?
Email Address: http://www.hotmail.com
Highest Qualification: Top 16 in 1990 singapore badminton open
Major: no la, ord as private only
Job History: i fail my history 1 lah
Last drawn salary: not bad
Expected salary: as high as possible
Posted 6/18/08
畢業典禮上,校長宣布全年級第一名的同學上台領獎,

可是連續叫了好幾聲之後,那位學生才慢慢的走上台。

後來,老師問那位學生說:「怎麼了﹖是不是生病了﹖

還是剛才沒聽清楚﹖」

學生答:「不是的,我是怕其他同學沒聽清楚。」
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Posted 9/4/08
There was a boy name Kevan.
He went to talk to the school bully, Ronnie.
Kevan: Hey! Come and kiss my shoe at exactly 10.20am!
Ronnie was furious.
So Ronnie ran towards Kevan.
And Kevan ran.
Ronnie being fat, was not a good runner.
Kevan, rather, was a fast runner.
So Ronnie was quite way behind Kevan.
Ronnie was panting.
But Ronnie still went running towards Kevan as fast as he can.
They ran past the principal's office.
Then when Ronnie was running towards Kevan,
The Discipline Master came out from the principal's office.
The Discipline Master saw Ronnie and ask: Why are u running?
Ronnie said: Kevan just now say that i should go and kiss his shoe at exactly 10.20am.
The Discipline Master said: It is only 10.15am (glancing at his watch). U sure wish to kiss Kevan's shoe. Anyway, u still have 5 minutes to go and kiss his shoe.

Sorry if i did not phrase it to well especially the last part.It was taken from the passage that i had heard during my LC.
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Posted 9/4/08 , edited 9/4/08
all of the jokes are funny haha..i like the JC ones..so let me ask you all a question: Which kind of animals always says 'WHY?'

Answer is in this
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25 / M / anywhere,anytime....
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Posted 9/4/08
Teacher:'Billy,stop making ugly face at other students!'

Billy:'Why?'

Teacher:'Well,when i was your age,i was told that if i kept making ugly faces,my face would stay that way.'

Billy:'Well,i can see you didn't listen.'
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25 / M / anywhere,anytime....
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Posted 9/4/08
this is a lame joke i think. :D

In which class you learn how to shop for bargains?

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